“Yeah, he just like, fell and then he didn’t get back up.”
“I heard it was a closed head injury.”
“Well, I heard he’s asthmatic.”
“I heard he wasn’t eating.”
“What like…. He’s anorexic?”
“Yeah.”
“Don’t be stupid that’s a girl thing.”
“Yeah, guys aren’t anorexic, that’s just weird.”
Staring down at my lunch I listened to the conversations buzzing around me in the crowded cafeteria. I knew of course, that Calum was probably anorexic to some degree based on the way he had thrown up in the parking lot the other day, however that wasn’t my business to tell.
“Hi. Katy?”
Startled, I looked up from my untouched sandwich to where Annie was standing infront of me.
“HI.” I said slowly.
“Can I sit here?” she questioned, gesturing to the empty table, where I was sat.
“Yeah.” I replied nodding, “Of course.”
Grinning brightly, she sat down across from me.
“Hi.” She repeated.
“Hey.” I replied, gently.
“How are you?” she questioned.
“I’m fine.” I mumbled, “How are you?”
“Oh I’m good.” She replied, “I’m really good. Really, really good.”
“That’s good.” I sighed.
Smiling she reached into her Hello Kitty lunch bag and removed a zip lock bag of Lucky Charms, a plastic spoon and a milk box.
Curiously, I watched as she dumped the milk in with the cereal and shook it around a bit before dipping the spoon in and taking a bite.
“That’s an interesting lunch.” I informed it.
“I packed it myself.” She mumbled with her mouthful.
“That’s good.” I praised in a tone I hoped didn’t come across as patronizing.
“Thanks!” she gushed, smiling widely.
Suddenly a large shadow blocked the light between us.
Realizing that there was someone behind me, but too terrified to turn round, I stared down hard at the table.
“You mind if we sit here?” a guy’s voice asked politely.
Feeling my cheeks burn a deep shade of scarlet I shook my head quickly.
“Thanks.” Another guy’s voice said kindly.
Keeping my head bowed I watched out of the corner of my eye as two Varsity soccer jocks, Luke and Michael sat down. Michael plopping down across from me next to Annie and Luke sitting down beside me.
“Hi!” Annie greeted, spraying chewed up cereal all over my lunch.
“Annie!” Michael gasped.
“Sorry!” she gasped.
“It’s fine.” I said quickly.
Sighing, Michael handed me several napkins, which blushing, I took and used to dab at my meal, however it was more or less soiled.
“Do you want me to buy you something else?” Michael offered.
“No.” I said quickly, “That’s okay. I don’t need anything.”
“Annie you totally ruined her lunch.” Michael chided.
“I said sorry!” Annie cried, “She can have some of my lunch. You want some Katy?”
“Oh, um, no thank you.” I said quickly, “I’m fine really.”
“I have an extra pudding cup.” Luke offered, holding it out to me, “Interested.”
“No thanks.” I replied, “Really, I’m fine.”
Shrugging, Luke tore open the pudding cup and took a large bite.
“You heard anything from Cal?” he questioned, looking across the table to Michael.
“No.” Michael sighed, eating a slice of pizza, crust side first, “But Anna texted me.
“What did she say?” Annie asked.
“Annie, we’re not talking to you bud.” Michael laughed, handing her a napkin for the milk dripping down her chin.
Setting down her baggy of cereal, she wiped her mouth.
“Apparently he’s okay.” Luke said slowly, “I guess he’ll be back to school in the next few days.”
“Where did he go?” Annie questioned.
“Annalese!” Michael laughed, “Butt out!”
“No I like Calum.” She said frowning, “He’s nice. He’s my friend.”
“I’m I your friend?” Luke questioned.
“Say no.” Michael whispered.
“No Michael that’s mean!” Annie cried.
“You tell him!” Luke cheered, “So am I your friend? Are we totes besties?”
“You’re my friend.” She said reaching across the table and patting his hand.
“Thank you.” Luke breathed, “I’m honored.”
“Michael you’re not my friend.” She said seriously turning to Michael.
“OH, gee thanks!” Michael cried, acting offended, while Luke tried hard to hide his laughter.
“You’re my brother.” She continued, “But if you….if you were not my brother. If you were not. I would be your friend okay?”
“Oh, okay thanks.” He said, breathing out a sigh of false relief, “You scared me there for a minute.”
Nodding, Annie then turned to me.
“You’re my friend Katy.” She said pleasantly.
Embarrassedly I looked up and finding the other boys looking at me, quickly looked back down.
“Michael is Katy your friend too?” she then questioned innocently.
“No.” I said quickly, “No, I….he’s…I….sorry.”
“Well damn Pratt.” Michael laughed, placing a hand over his heart, “Don’t worry about my feelings or anything.”
“What?” I whispered, “No. I just…. I didn’t want you to say you were my friend I didn’t want to um… bother you I….”
“It’s fine.” Luke laughed, “He’s being stupid.”
Blushing, I looked back down at the table.
“I should go.” I mumbled.
“So soon?” Michael huffed, “You’re standing me up?”
“What?” I questioned.
“We’re on a double date!” Michael said in a duh tone, “You’re just going to abandon me here?”
“This is a date?” Annie asked.
“Yeah!” Luke laughed, “You and me, we’re on a date…. Want some pudding?”
Grinning, Annie hastily set down her baggy of cereal, splashing milk all over her pants.
“Uh oh.” She breathed, “Oh man. Oh poop.”
“It’s okay.” Michael chuckled, blotting at the wet spot with a pile of napkins.
“This date is falling to shit.” Luke sighed, “I think we’re going to have to reschedule ladies.”
“Can I still have pudding?” Annie questioned.
“Yeah.” Luke laughed, handing her the pudding cup.
Looking around at the three I felt a warm feeling bubbling up in my chest, a rare feeling, one I hadn’t really experienced before, expectance. These boys, varsity jacket wearing popular boys were being nice to me. I didn’t know why, why they weren’t laughing at me like the rest, but it felt good.
However, the feeling wasn’t long lived become the next thing I knew I felt myself being tapped on the shoulder. Startled, I whirled around to find the guidance councilor, Mr. Wick standing behind me, his arms crossed over his wrinkly button down and his toe visible from the hole in his socks which had paired with a pair of Birkenstock sandals.
“Hey! Mr. Wick!” Michael laughed, “Looking good!”
“Tone down the sarcasm Mr. Clifford.” Mr. Wick chuckled.
Smirking, Michael turned back to his lunch, while Mr. Wick turned to me.
“Katy.” He said brightly, “How are you?”
“Fine.” I said slowly.
“That’s good.” He replied, “Hey, do you think I could burrow you for a minute and swing by my office for a little chat?”
Nodding I hastily rose to my feet, bumping the table in the process, causing Luke’s drink to spill over.
“I’m so sorry!” I cried.
“Earthquake!” a boy walking past laughed.
“It’s fine.” Michael assured me, handing Luke a pile of napkins.
“I’m sorry.” I repeated.
“Don’t… worry about it.” Luke sighed, forcing a smile, “It’s all good.”
“See Katy, it’s all good.” Mr. Wick chuckled, “Now follow me.
Blushing furiously, well aware that several people were staring at me in amusement, no doubt speculating as to why I was being summoned by the dreaded guidance counselor, I followed Mr. Wick out of the cafeteria, down the hall and into his small office.
“Have a seat.” He said pleasantly, gesturing to a beanbag in the corner, “Make yourself comfy.”
Chewing my lower lip I sat down slowly, and watched as Mr. Wick sat down on the floor infront of me, criss crossing his legs.
“So,” he said pleasantly, “Do you know why you’re here?”
“No.” I admitted.
“Well then, let me explain.” He chuckled, “It seems your Art teacher Miss Kit was a bit disturbed by one of your paintings.”
“Was it that bad?” I questioned.
“No, no!” Mr. Wick laughed, “It was fantastic, it’s just a little dark and a bit revealing.”
He then reached into his pocket and pulling out his phone tapped away for a moment before turning it to face me. Blushing furiously, I stared at the painting I had created of the fat girl, tearing her flesh away to reveal the skinny girl beneath.
“Tell me about this.” Mr. Wick coaxed.
“There’s nothing to tell.” I lied, “It’s just a painting.”
“Katy.” Mr. Wick sighed, “Art is a way in which one get express their feelings. And I know sometimes random creativity takes over but I can’t help but think this piece came from a deeper place.”
Looking down at my lap, I picked at the bean bag.
“Katy.” Mr. Wick said gently, “A lot of people your age have body image issues and issues with their weight. It’s norma….”
“It’s not normal to look like this.” I spat, snapping, “It’s not! I try so hard! Do you think I want to be Katy Pratt the rolling ball of Fat? I don’t! But I can’t help it! There’s just always food and I try not to eat it but then I just eat more, and more until I feel sick and it’s disgusting and I can’t help it! I don’t know what’s wrong with me!”
Surprised by my outburst Mr. Wick nodded slowly.
“Katy.” He said after a moment, “I’m not a professional in this field but it sounds like to me, you may have an eating disorder.”
“I don’t have an eating disorder!” I laughed, “I’m fat.”
“There are all kinds of eating disorders.” He said gently, “Yes, when most people think of an eating disorder they think of anorexia or bulimia which makes one very, very thin, but there are many different eating disorders. And I may be wrong but I think it’s possible that you have a binge eating disorder.”
“That’s gross!” I cried.
“No it’s not.” Mr. Wick sighed, “It’s a normal thing. Now I can’t make you get help, that’s up to you, but I can offer it, are you interested?”
Looking down at my hands I hesitated for a moment before slowly nodding.