I abruptly wake from my slumber, my heart beating fast as if sleeping had become a dangerous sport where inside, I can never beat the harsh dreams.
A light sweat glistens along my skin whilst there is a soft buzzing in my brain, and together they remind me of the conflicting universe I now live between. My brain is as a flat battery, the exertions of the previous night being a marathon of erratic problem-solving.
My heart feels as if I should be relieved, for now it knows Kylo Ren wants to be the reason it beats for, but it isn't relieved, for he and I still know that could never happen beneath the First Order's watchful eye.
My job is to give the First Order a child with Kylo Ren, not fall for him—and from the way he had retreated himself back into his quarters and I into my own, for the rest of the night: I think we both subconsciously agreed we would try to fight the magnetic pull between us.
Though, it feels better to now know we were both in it together rather than alone.
I give myself a moment to shed the sleep from my brain, still somewhat expecting the sun's harsh rays to blind me, forgetting momentarily there is no sunshine in outer-space. I wished for nothing more than to feel solid ground of dirt and grass beneath my feet, to feel an authentic breeze against my skin—but as everyday passes, I adjust slightly to the empty void outside my window and I let it be my new home with the subtleness of a violent star.
I had slept in, hard, as dinner was about to start—but I still don't make an effort to move off the edge of my bed. My mind was a swirling mess of recollections that I explore over-and-over on a whim to make things feel more fixed and real; but they never do.
I can still somewhat smell the burnt flesh upon his face. I can still feel Kylo's soft lips against my own, and my stomach leaps and my heart beats erratically as I raise a gentle finger to my own lips—it would've been the perfect kiss, if only it was wanted at the time.
Suddenly, my stomach churns when Five flashes in my mind. He wants nothing more than for me to keep my distance from Kylo, but here I am remembering the way my heart nearly bled into his own from the close proximity of our chests.
If only Five knew that I truely couldn't keep my distance, for Five's life was depending on me giving Kylo Ren a child. But how am I supposed to do that whilst also trying to keeping my distance, in attempts to not endure these overwhelming feelings that begin to grow for Kylo Ren?
The hardest part was finding the courage to walk away from the path that Kylo and I both try to ignore—following our heart's desires would only lead to devastation. Refusing to be pulled into this binding was for the bravery of our hearts, mine for the best of Five and Ren's for the best of the First Order.
With a true desire to make the universe better for us: we had to be reminded that heartache and intelligence aren't the same thing. Saving Five's life meant changing the way I approach so many things, hard to do intellectually but easy to do if I follow my heart; whilst simultaneously keeping these feelings hidden from the First Order.
Knowing now what they could do with one of my weaknesses, what would they do with the knowledge that Kylo Ren could become another?
There's an inner storm wrecking my soul from within and calming it was the key to fixing this colossal mess. Change is always a leap of faith and it takes an iron will combined with a heart of pure love to do it... but it seems I can't have either, so I must just let destiny guide me—and I hope that it ends with everyone alive and unharmed... forget my heartbreak in the meantime.
I eventually get a move on and prepare for the rest of this somewhat wasted day. If I hurry, I can make it to the Dining Hall just in time to get some food and a good spot before it gets busy. Maybe even see Arion.
Walls of tile, them being so familiar and identical was still something to I wasn't quite use to... no matter which direction I turned in these hallways, every corner looked the same as the next. Trudging through what could be any hall of Finalizer, I'm somewhat proud of myself that I can easily get myself around on this level. Put me on any other level, well that's a different conversation...
"There she is, I told you!"
A tap on the shoulder pulls me back and I turn my head in confusion to whoever had done it, but I smile when I meet the familiar faces.
"Five," I grin and it grows even wider when my eyes then glance to the man beside him, "Four!"
I immediately crash into Four's arms and though we never showed much affection to each other growing up, the amount of time and space that was once between us was enough for his arms to hold me back.
"Ah, Six." He gives me a cocky smile, his eyes as blue as they had ever been.
The arms that held onto me were soft, yet stronger than I remember—much like Five's—and I suddenly wondered what the First Order were feeding these men, including Kylo, for them to be this toned; because it's certainly not that disgusting slop that they serve in the Dining Hall.
The feel of his body so close to mine soothed me more than I had expected, for I had never had a delicate moment with Four since... well forever—especially with Three around. But within seconds he pulled away and I knew somewhat why: his mind swam not with the heady excitement of seeing me again, but with the memory of Three in which I provided him as much as he had provided me.
"Five said you were around here somewhere," He bantered, unwrapping his arm off me and straightening his posture, "I somewhat hoped you weren't though. Finalizer is such a depressing ship... I don't know how you haven't opened a window yet."
At his words I think back to all the things that have happened to me since the very moment my feet touched Finalizer's territory; the first thing was being met with General Hux's harsh backhand against my face. A nice welcoming to him, I assume.
"Me neither."
Four was slightly shorter than Five but much more muscular with square shoulders and blonde, close cropped hair—though, I remember it when it was longer. He had a handsome face but now it was made slightly uneven by his nose, which had been broken and hid beneath a thick bandage.
"What happened to your nose?" I laugh, looking over to Five, who only rolled his eyes at Four's expense.
Four's eyes widen and he tilts his head, shrugging it off, "Broke it in battle... you know, fighting Jedi's."
Five's face squints up and he furrows his brows whilst he struggles not to laugh, "No you did not!"
He looks back to me, those hazel eyes staring into mine as they become serious once more, glancing up to the top of my head and then back down to my face.
Whatever I could sense that bothered him, he chose to ignore.
"—He broke it in training. He failed to dodge my attack... like always."
"Oh, shut it—" Four swipes a strong hand in the air, "You're meant to count down from three and then say go. Not and three-two-one and then immediately punch me in the face."
Their banter was crude and they insulted each other often, but that was the way it always was with them and as I giggled at their expense, I felt more at home than I have in a while—ignoring the little voice in the back of my head that said, 'But, Kylo's arms!'
My heart pangs, though I don't dwell on the thought of Kylo Ren as my mind has already had him on an endless loop since he had kissed me last night, but when I notice Five slither a flat smirk through his crooked lips—eyes warm and charming—the guilt comes to haunt me again.
I know there's no possible way I could avoid Kylo Ren, even if my heart wasn't drawn to him in the first place... but for Five's life, unknowingly, it depends on me ignoring his request. Although, the guilt still cuts deep.
I smile back, not listening to Four ramble on-and-on about why it was Five's fault and not his, that his nose was now misshaped—and instead, notice the way Five and I's friendship feels like the soft colours of nature from the planet we both lived on: the delicate browns in his eyes being the autumn leaves and his chiseled features as strong as the brick building.
Five and I—and even Four—are not who we all once were... you could tell we were all different now and suddenly, I wish Five had been my real brother, for we wouldn't have to pretend I wasn't his weakness and he, mine.
"You're not wearing your headscarf."
As if the universe had momentarily halted, I realise now Five wasn't looking to me the way I was, but rather observing me with the gaze of a stranger, a judgement with no strings.
I furrow my eyebrows at his monotone words, but try to shake off any ill thoughts. He was just making an observation, a casual assessment. It doesn't mean he was about to write me up for an out-of-uniform, as if I was a servant of the First Order and he an officer.
Though, I suppose I am a servant... and he, much higher up than a lousy officer.
"Uh... yeah," I raise a hand to the top of my head, as if shocked to find the lack of material, "I think my hair looks nicer without it..."
Not me. Kylo Ren.
Shut up, I curse to my own betraying mind.
Four stops talking—finally looking to my hair and shrugging. "I suppose," He says, but Five doesn't brush it off so easily.
With a creased forehead and a tight jaw, I almost fear that he could read my mind and knows truely why I don't wear it anymore—but that was impossible, because he had never been able to read my mind, and I wasn't going to let that happen... not since Kylo had tore his way in.
Five's next words sound so heavy and quick that, to me, it seems unnatural, critical, "I thought you were not supposed to have your hair so... exposed."
He saw the shock register on my face before I could hide it, "Well, technically I wasn't allowed, but Commander September isn't here to boss me around anymore."
I try to force an awkward laugh, trying to ease the sudden tension, "—Are you here to ground me in her absence?"
The air is so brittle between his stare and mine, it could snap, and if it doesn't, I might. Why was Five suddenly caring about my uniform? About what I was supposed to be doing rather than what I wanted?
What happened to that boy who before StarKiller, would tell me that my purpose in the First Order, didn't define me as a person?
Many StormTroopers, servants and engineers begin to walk by, though none of them paid us any attention, much too busy on their own path to notice—or maybe it was due to the fact that Five and Four had lightsabers clinging to their belts so openly, which was enough reason to make a distance.
"Well..." Four breathes in a large breath, as if trying to remove the tension in the air, "I think that old rag was ugly anyway."
"Thank you, Four," I snap my gaze from Five and smile once more. I didn't need any more reasons to add to my endless list of worries.
From my peripheral vision, I watch the way Five also seems to snap out of it. Not pressing any further on the subject as he begins pulling loose threads from his dark uniform. The First Order insignia perched where his heart lays beneath.
"So... how was everything over at StarKiller going...before it got obliterated?" I try small-talking, then biting the inside of my cheek in sudden nerves; but Four's charm immediately calms me down when he begins filling the awkward silence.
"Well, ignoring breaking my nose and nearly dying... it was going great," He rolls his eyes, fixing his footing to now lean against the wall beside us.
"–How is everything here?" He continues but hesitates on his next words, "How's... Kylo Ren?"
At his mention, my heart threatens to leap through the cage of rib and splatter to the floor beyond my feet. I hold my breath behind pursed lips to steel myself against the gales of lies that are to come in attempts to not reveal anything that could infuriate Five—for his hands are already clenched by his sides.
"He's... alright." I reply, adding the rest in my own head, sarcastically:
'He actually just confessed that he feels a pull to me, as if the force is knotting us together. I don't particularly know if that will further our relationship or will make him more distant, so I'll just have to wait and see... what do you guys think?'
"Alright?" Four scoffs, rolling his eyes and pretending to wipe sweat off his forehead, "He's a bit of an asshole, I think. Did you hear what he did to us? He tried–"
"—Yes I did." I cut him off, not needing to hear it again.
To my sudden interject, Five's eyes shine with a look of long envy or intrigue beneath pale lids. His eyebrows raise and he opens his mouth to speak but then came a raucous cheer of laughter from a group of servants to the right who begin to walk into the Dining Hall.
I'm curious as to if Arion has walked by yet, or was she late again? I hadn't seen her since she made me crawl through an air-vent just to give her the coordinates to StarKiller... I wonder if her sister was as lucky enough to survive as did Five and Four...
Suddenly, realisation floods my system and I momentarily forget about the previous bitterness between Five and I as I look towards him with a crooked, pondering smile.
"Back to StarKiller... you never acknowledged the message I sent you."
Five's shoulders slanted back and he wore a puzzled expression at my words, "What message?"
My smile twitches and suddenly purses, then parts again and stays open and loose. Did Arion never send the message?
"You should've gotten a message from me?" I retort slow, "Did you not get one?"
Five shakes his head and etches his brows together once more, "No..."
Four now interjects, tilting his head to take a confused glance to Five as if they were having a silent conversation in the disorientated space that lingered around.
"–How would you have sent a message anyway? StarKiller was a secret location." Four asks, voice low and concerned.
I'm lost in my own confusion and my mouth parts, not understanding their apprehension, "I had the coordinates and I got someone to pass on a message... you should've received it."
At my words, I notice the way Five's face immediately stiffens and is washed blank with confusion, like the cogs in his brain were processing the information, then once it had fast enough, his eyes widened. Craning his neck quickly to see if anyone was around, he closes the space between us and grabs my forearms with his soft hands... his hazel eyes meeting mine with such importance.
"Who?" He demands but tries to keep his calm, "Who did you give the coordinates to?"
I am taken aback, and I try to flinch from his words that come at me quickly but he is holding me too tight. I glance to Four for help, but he only adverts his gaze—seemingly on Five's side.
What did it matter? I know it was a secret location, but Arion was only trying to come in contact with her sister as I was to Five—innocently—so why was he not grateful for my attempts instead of concerned?
"W-Why does it matter?" I stutter and suddenly I am reminded of the way Kylo used to peer at me like Five is now; trying to frighten the information out of me.
Who was Five becoming?
"Just tell me!"
The anger within me began to boil. I will never allow Five to think he can talk to me like this and I'm sick of being the lamb to everyone's predator. With white knuckles from clenching my fist too hard, I grit my teeth from effort to remain silent, but like acid in my lungs, I couldn't help the potent words I spat.
"Get your hands off me."
His eyes immediately soften as he realises what he was doing and when his hands loosen and slide to my wrists but still hold on, I tear my wrists from his grip and huff a disbelieved breath.
Shaking my head before I turn on my heel and begin to walk away as I rub the reddening skin where he once held, he tries to call out for me but I ignore him as I make my way back to Kylo's quarters.
I let his voice soak in but I never turn back—though, he never stops following me, leaving Four lingering further behind him as he too follows, but not as purposefully.
"Six, hold up!"
"Go away, Five," I sigh, tired of his presence. Today, he wasn't who I remembered, maybe he was just having a bad day... though, he never acted so aggressive before—good days and bad.
He grabs onto my wrist once more, turning me back to face him and my vision turns red. I'm expecting to see that distant look he now holds, but when I meet his eyes once more, I notice the glass of wet above the colour.
"There's a spy," He breathes in a small whisper, between him and I.
My brain stutters for a moment and my eyes take in more light than I expected, every part of me goes on pause while my thoughts catch up. I closed my mouth, looking to my boots before glancing back up to catch his eye.
"...What do you mean?" I hesitate.
Five lets go of my skin, this time not needing me to snatch it out for him, "The Supreme Leader thinks there may be a Resistance spy on board... a spy who could've passed coordinates back to the Resistance, causing them to blow up StarKiller."
His response was so unexpected, but made complete sense, and I just stare at him open mouthed. My brain couldn't formulate a reply beneath the shock.
A spy? Surely not... was he trying to imply that who I had passed the coordinates to—Arion—was a spy? No way.
"N-No..."
"It's true," Four suddenly pipes up from behind—now only us three in these empty hallway.
Five takes a step back, giving me some space but also lays a gentle hand on my shoulder, his thumb twitching threateningly to touch the exposed hair that lay upon it. The old Five was immediately back, but I had no time to welcome him in this sudden disorientation.
He begins to speak once more, his voice now as soft and delicate as I remember from all those years ago, beneath that tall, oak tree.
"—Just... give me their name and Four and I will pass it onto the First Order..."
My breath gets caught in my chest and I know the panic is gaining in on me slowly at this sudden understanding. I breathe in shallow and find a way to release the tension, but it never leaves. There was a feeling in my gut that wanted to tell Five it was Arion, a servant girl, but my heart was hesitant.
Arion was kind and clever, perhaps even smarter than I had originally thought. Her conversations were buoyant and intended to be heard. The distaste for the unsatisfied life that she had been given, she had often shared with me—who related all too well.
It was possible she was a Resistance spy, for all her conversations and hatred for the First Order suddenly made sense; but I hated the First Order too... they had ruined my life from the moment they killed my parents, and now they are trying to make it harder to live everyday—so why would I help them?
Easy. If this is for the benefit of the people on board, I will tell Five.
"... Tell us so we can destroy the scum," Five continues, with eyes dark and purposeful.
Suddenly, my mind had changed.
All at once, everything had become clear as Five turned back into that darkness he carried earlier before. This wasn't for the benefit of the people on board. It was for the benefit of him. Five wanted to prove to the First Order he was a fighter. A weapon that the Supreme Leader could rely on as much as he relied on Kylo Ren.
Five was slowly changing, morphing and twisting into a void of dark and I have seen this certain darkness before, in the one who Five most despises: Kylo Ren. I wasn't going to let that darkness consume Five like it had to whoever Kylo once was.
"I didn't get his name," I lie.
Five throws his head back and huffs in annoyance. I was wavered with anger at everything. At Arion specifically; but I wouldn't let her quite get away with this. She had slashed at me with betrayal, so I'll return with quiet vengeance until I can understand just why she had done it. For she deserves to explain herself, as much as anyone does.
Five's face flushes red and I know my unknowing has angered him; frustrated him entirely.
"What did he–" He begins to pry, but gets cut off.
"Six," A mechanical voice erupts from the end of the hallway. A tall figure drawing in closer from behind Four, dressed in the familiar coating of black drapes and a thick mask. Kylo.
Upon sight of the tall, masculine man, the tension that had made my bones stiffen had melted into nothing. What once would've brought me fear, now only brought me comfort as my hands shake to be closer.
My name was his only announcement of arrival, as his footing was swift towards us, and there was a slight drop in the air temperature as Five had fallen into a descent of absolute silence. Four and himself stiffening their shoulders and standing tall.
All at once, like a facade, I watched the way Five began to compose himself as if Kylo Ren had brought a force into the hallway, respectful and quiet, but observant and threatening at the same time.
I don't know whether I wish to sprint into his arms or sprint away before he makes the last couple of steps towards me, but the gears in my mind are halting and throwing an anchor to the floor, stopping my feet from movement.
"Kylo Ren," I bow my head, faking obedience in-front of Five and Four. The two of them bow their heads in unison—a stark resemblance to the way they would at home to Commander Victor.
"Six—" Kylo only ignores them, his helmet burning into my vision as somewhere beneath that thick pane of black, I know those brilliant, brown eyes are only on me.
There is a suspended moment in the air, where there is nothing but silence and I can almost feel the stretch of leather as Four twists his hands together in apprehension. He and Five may act tough to my face, but once Kylo had presented himself, they truely showed their ranking—I bite the inside of my cheek once more, to stifle a cheeky smile, and soon taste blood.
I can almost feel the notions in Kylo's brain fold and flip within his head—all of the will in him trying desperately to refuse the magnetic force between us, as much I was trying; but when he finally speaks once again, he had let it drag him in—noticeable to only me, unbeknownst to the others, who hardly paid attention beyond their unease.
"—Come with me to our quarters."
Our.
At one little world, the universe nearly falls to my feet and my skin feels more alive than it ever has—as if a million suns had shined their rays onto me.
My lips tug into a small smile, but cave entirely when Five interjects.
"She's not a dog," He spits, his face turning red once more as his fists clench by his sides.
Oh no.
"Five..." I warn, but it seems my voice was mute as nobody listened.
"Watch yourself, apprentice," Kylo tuts, his helmet twitching over to him, and suddenly I realise the drastic height difference—and it wasn't because Five was short, but rather Kylo Ren was just incredibly tall.
"–Or what?" Five urges, not intimidated by his tall frame nor the fingertips that etched their way to the red lightsaber beneath his cloak, "You'll try to kill me again?"
"Five!" I gasp, suddenly pushing myself between them, almost like bait to the fighting beasts of prey.
"Stop," I mouth, whilst looking Five in the eyes, pleading for him to be smart and forget his pride in this moment.
I can feel Kylo's tall frame behind me and my breathing almost falls in sync with his as if we are one, but separated only for other's eyes. I know Kylo wants to continue, he wants to prove why he is Snoke's most valued, but he doesn't... he only etches slowly away, and nudges his head behind as I turn to look once more at him.
"Come," He demands.
"No, Six," Five interjects again, still holding onto that pride with an iron grip. What was he doing? Was he trying to prove his worthy with the First Order, or me?
"—Stay. You don't have to listen to him."
I feel lost and confused, my heart beating erratically in my chest as they both hold their ground, waiting for me to take a side. Kylo Ren and Five are pulling me in opposite directions, and I can almost feel their grips somewhat slipping as I take my time to choose.
Five's eyes are pleading, but I can still see the darkness that threatens to take hold of him—the darkness that he is allowing to consume his soul! The Five I once knew, never would have allowed himself to be lead. He had said I wasn't Kylo Ren's dog, and yet here he is tied to the post that was the First Order.
"—Goodnight, Five," I bid him farewell sadly, the corners of my mouth twitching downwards.
I watch the way his features harden. I watch him clench his jaw at my choice.
He bows his head, ending it all at once,
"Embrace your destiny," He says, the same way he did last night.
Five stands in uniform, a perfect solider with that daunting symbol on his chest, and suddenly a wave of memories surges with the power of an ocean as I am indulged in grief. I subconsciously salute my fallen friend, for the old Five is somewhat gone, until I can save him from the First Order.
"With open arms and welcoming." I finish.
We part our ways, and I can feel the fear in my chest waiting to take over. Perhaps, it only wants to protect me but there really isn't any danger; not with my choice. If there was anyone I should fear, it would be Kylo Ren, but he didn't scare me... he wasn't the monster Five and Four thought he was.
I'm saddened to the core, as those two I left behind are the children I grew up with—who were born with hope in their hearts to be the champions of the weary, but they are only letting this strength overpower their soul and brawn, rather than lift up the broken. I can't let the First Order shape them so easily as they did to Kylo, but I would have to save Five's life first, before I ever figure out how to do that.
"You're upset," Kylo points out when we finally enter the living space of his—our—home, "You wished to stay with the boy?"
I shake my head, and even though I had only woken a couple of hours before, I sighed a tired breath as I slumped on one of the couches, "No. I didn't want to."
The familiar hiss of Kylo's helmet being taken off fills the silence, and I am met with his perfect, scar included, features as he makes his way in front of the couch where I sit.
As he then takes off his gloves—I am still always flooded with surprise when I look to him, my eyes gaped openly as I observed his sharp jaw, chin, and cheekbones. On either side of his nose were the brightest stars in the universe, although they were only his blazing brown eyes—spiked, warm and fringed with smooth gold.
His dark eyebrows were currently furrowed into a perplexed frown, as if he didn't believe the truth of my words, "You didn't?"
"No. I wanted to go with you," I shake my head, forcing a weak smile, "That's why I'm here, isn't it?"
Kylo's eyes flash with something I cannot recognise as his mouth parts—suddenly I can feel that coiled up string between us, tugging my heart closer as he drops to his knees before me, his tall height still keeping those eyes centre with mine.
"You speak the truth?" Kylo Ren asks, and all at once his walls have been removed before me. That person who he once was, now within the frame that is the cruel, Kylo Ren.
"Yes. I promise."
Kylo is at a loss for words, his eyes shifting to the floor he kneels upon and then back to me, "Are you... afraid of what I may have done if you refused to come with me?"
His frame is so still and solid, but the insecurity came hungry at his fragility. I want to comfort him in ways I never knew I would want to. I want to only ever be in moments such as these that are only laced in comfortable vulnerability.
"I was afraid of you," I whisper between the fragile space, "—But not anymore."
His lips tug upwards, a small smile I would never have thought I could cause. Suddenly, all my other worries are thrown out the un-openable windows: Five, Four, the Spy—Arion—all gone, for Kylo Ren repeats those words once more...
"You speak the truth?"
That magnetic tug blooms in the middle of my heart—being that kind of warmth that grows from inwards and then prickles even my flesh. I don't have the strength to disguise the enormity or the grandeur of such sheer brilliance as I lean in closer to that warm brown.
"I promise."
We both know we should be maintaining distance rather than removing it; but we never do.
I felt an urge to do something, to comfort him, but also myself and in a suspended moment, I pressed my lips against his.
He tightens for a moment, obviously taken aback but when I feel his shoulders loosen beneath my hands—I finally feel at home. When he kissed back, my brain lit on fire and the warmth spread throughout my entire body like a blanket of comfort over my once terrified shell.
I pull away, a shy smile upon my lips, as I notice the way his bottom lip now glistens beneath these harsh lights, somewhat still beautifully.
We hovered right there, quite soundless for so long, simply feeling each other's presence and listening to the thud of our hearts; but as if he was addicted to my taste, Kylo holds onto the back of my head with delicate, big hands and pulls me into another kiss, this time fiery and passionate.
Kylo's hands then slide down to my cheeks, his thumbs brushing the skin in wonder, whilst my own get familiar with the feel of his toned chest beneath the thick fabric; itching to feel each scar, each line along his perfect physique.
I lean into the back of the couch, allowing him to move and hover above my form. Those murderous hands venture over each curve my body had beneath these horrible materials I wear, exploring what was always hidden.
He breaks the kiss, but his lips make their way along my neck and I let out little whimpers of anticipation. Then working his way back to my tender, reddening lips. My hands move their way beneath his clothes, apprehensive along their way to the buckle of his pants but when they meet leather, they grip onto it as if life depended on it—and I guess someones did, but right now I wasn't thinking about that, I was only thinking about the lips that peppered my own...until they were gone.
We pull apart and both open our eyes. Kylo's full of wonder and that same look in which I couldn't figure out just yet, but I knew my own were full of curiosity and passion.
He leans in so his forehead rests against my own and he closes his eyes once more, while my hands still cling onto his belt; our breaths shaking.
Kylo Ren's fingers then meet mine, not tearing them away but rather prying them off the leather and holding them within his own.
"Not tonight," He whispers.
A sweat starts to glisten all over my body. He wasn't being cruel with rejection or disgust, but rather he was waiting for the right time—and although time wasn't something I have right now, it still made my heart warm and almost instantaneously tender.
In this moment, my colours are brighter than they have ever been and so are his. A tumbling of colours, chaotic and shallow of the person he once was before the First Order had darkened him completely and gave him a new purpose.
Though still, he was nameless.