You had just finished taking a shower and you were drying your hair while sitting in front of your mirror. The cup of coffee which you had ordered for had arrived apparently while you were in the bathroom as you found it waiting for you on your commode. The only thing that seemed somehow questionable was Jimin and his absence as he had yet to appear.
As your butler, he usually comes immediately after you are awake and if he was to do so today in no way would look suspicious to anyone. Yet again it could be just because he may have been caught up in some other work around the house and that may be the reason he hadn't appeared yet or so you kept telling yourself as the minutes past because you couldn't help but grow worried.
Could he perhaps have regretted it? Was he feeling bad about it? And if any of those questions were the actual case, how would you feel when he was to tell you so? Those kinda thoughts were what made you put a neutral face on, feeling unsure and uncertain if there was anything to be happy about after all.
However a knock on your door that reached to your ears soon broke that expressionless state, making you think that it must be him. Feelings of excitement bubbled inside you as you gave permission to whoever was knocking to come in however once the door opened and a maid came inside, those feelings subsided, making you feel slightly disappointed.
Wasn't this just pathetic? Getting carried away like this and being eager to see him. It sure was something out of your character and you were surprised with your own feelings. Why did they keep getting carried away like this? Why was it so difficult to think of anything else but him, from the moment you had opened your eyes? It was utterly ridiculous and somehow you became mad with yourself at that instant.
"Mr. TaeYong has requested your presence in his office Mrs" The maid informed you with a bow and you looked at her for a moment, caught off guard by her words. Why would he want to see you personally and alone knowing that in an hour or so it was gonna be breakfast time?
" Thank you. I will be there in a second." You replied and waited till she left the room before letting the silence take over and stimulate your thoughts. Thoughts that grew unpleasant and scary as the minutes ticked while you were looking at yourself in the mirror.
From a cold face without a hint of feelings, it slowly changed to a scared then a hurt one as your mind took you from one scenario to the other.
No, there is no way he knows. I am just panicking cause I am not clean. Get yourself together.
You reassured yourself and stood up, fixing a bit your clothes and regaining your proper posture before getting out of that room and calmly and slowly going down the stairs and down the hall till the office's door of your husband.
You didn't hesitate to knock as you knew well that hesitation or any other uncommon behavior of yours may bring results that would not benefit you. You were nervous truth was but you also were someone that has been hiding her feelings all her life for one reason or another. What was the difference now?
You pushed the door open once you heard his voice and you entered inside, finding him alone at his desk, with a smile on his lips.
"Someone seems to be in a good mood." You commented as you went and took your seat opposite his desk nonchalantly.
"Well why wouldn't I? The weather is great today." He replied as he turned his chair to look towards his glassy balcony door which was filling the room with light.
"I am sure you didn't call me to discuss about the weather however. Is it something related to the party?" You replied, your aura keeping the hostility you always had when in his presence while your mouth let him know that you were expecting a discussion related to something of that sort as besides your social circle and the image you had to portray to the others, there was nothing else in common between you two.
"Actually, I would like to discuss about what happened after the party. I am sure you had more fun after it than in the actual gathering." TaeYong smirked as he spoke, waiting for your face to grow pale or any sign of panic of the sort.
"Indeed. Being in my room and enjoying my peace and silence it will always be more fun than any gathering." However, you gave him a calm reply that made him pause for a moment and think that if he really didn't know what had happened yesterday between you and Jimin, he in no way would have been able to distinguish any signs of nervousness in you right that instant.
"Well, I am not sure if it was peaceful and quiet but the only thing I can be certain is that you weren't in your room, dear Y/N." He leaned a bit closer as he looked in your eyes with that playful smile still hanging on his lips and you just stared at him, now feeling that the aura in the environment had changed and it definitely wasn't on your side.
"If you have something to say, say it directly. I don't like wasting my time and you know that well" You spoke sternly as all you wanted to confirm at that moment was exactly what were you facing.
It didn't matter what he was suspicious of as long as he held no evidence so you could deny anything that may come out of his mouth and worry about the how he got to know after. Maybe some maid must have seen you yesterday getting in Jimin's room with him despite the fact that you had thought that no one had. Or maybe it was today when you were getting out of his room. No matter the case his thoughts about you were something that did not bother you because without evidence he just couldn't harm you in any way but maybe he could harm Jimin. He was only a worker after all and you in no way would want for him to lose his job especially since you knew that he needed this job.
"I sure like being direct too but I was trying to be considerate of you. It must be hard to be you today. "He replied and you could clearly see that he was mocking you , thing that got on your nerves even though you didn't let it show much.
"It's hard being me every single day. Because unlike you, I have a consciousness and a heart and every time I look at you, I wonder. How must it be? To have people that loved you, dying and you not being faced by it?" You purposely attacked at a spot that you knew that would affect him one way or another and to your pleasure, his smile dropped from his lips and a serious facial expression took over it.
"Oh, let me show you how it is to be heartless then. " TaeYong uttered before he opened a shelf at his right side under his desk and pulled out a black envelope. He opened it and placed it before you, letting you see that it was the contract that you had signed before your marriage and then he proceeded to pull out a camera.
At the sight of it, you fell quiet now understanding well that he held evidence but what had made you more shocked was how that evidence had reached to him.
"I could be more heartless and actually play you the footage but I am being considerate. Nonetheless Jimin sure did his job well. I wasted no money hiring him. The footage is so clean and shows your face so well. Literally unquestionable. " He spoke, and at the mention of Jimin's name you felt your heart dropping as your eyes grew wide.
"It's shocking really. How the woman I so much loved cheated on me with the butler, shamelessly breaking my heart. Can you imagine what the public will be saying of you? Will you be able to even get out of your house after this? Mmm, the weather seems a bit gloomy for you." He went on, speaking words that basically displayed his intentions as well the subtle threat that he was making. You were now at his mercy and he was more than happy about it.
"What do you want?" Was all you managed to ask, as your mind was in a messy state at that moment, thoughts rushing like crazy.
Had Jimin placed that camera? Had he brought it to him? Had he been working for him all along just for this? Those questions couldn't help but make you grow numb inside as your facial expression grew cold, knowing well that there was no running of this situation. You were caught up and as so you had to keep your head high and your reasoning as clean as possible in order to get yourself out of his claws as less harmed as you could possibly manage.
"At the beginning, all I wanted was my freedom. Away from you. Of course because of our contract, our separation would cost me too much if I was to initiate it without a reason. So I got myself the reason. However strangely I no longer want your divorce only."He explained himself and you snickered once you understood what he meant.
"There are things that are up for sale and others that are not. If you are hoping that this will keep me quiet on the case related to MinHee. Then you don't know me well enough." You told him boldly as you stood up from your seat.
"Go ahead. You can put that video online. You can humiliate me, take your divorce and rip off me all the money you want. You think I am you? Did you really think I would put my public figure above her death?" You questioned him as your eyes shoot fire while looking at him. How dare he? How did he even for a second thought that you would betray her for the purpose of saving your own skin? After all these years of torturing thoughts and guilt, after all this time of searching for the truth and a way to bring her soul at peace, there was no way you would turn your back at her now.
What did it matter what people would think of you? What did it matter if your parents would disown you and hate you? It wasn't like their love had ever brought anything good to you anyways. It wasn't the first time you would be hurting on your own, so why would this one make a difference and scare you in any way? You had come so far just for the truth and especially now that you knew that her death wasn't suicide but murder, you in no way would ever be able to let this case be and leave whoever is at fault just get away with it.
"Y/N, you have no reason to be so stubborn. There is nothing you can do for MinHee. Listen to me. I know. Your tries are futile."
"Shut up!" You snapped at him as your rage took the best of you, your emotions of hurt and anger fogging your logic and making you lose your calm composure.
"You can not tell me what is pointless and what not! You whom she loved so much! You whom never did anything for her! You have no right to speak of her name!" You yelled at him and TaeYong stood up from his seat, looking equally angered at that instant.
"Who do you think you are, talking and defining my emotions! You are not the only one that cared for her!" He stormed at you, having lost his control over himself as your words had managed to tick him off.
"I can see how much you cared about her. All you care about is yourself. Your figure, your status. I look at you and I just can't understand how could she be so blind to love someone like you. A heartless rotten human that could sell his own soul for profit...I am ashamed in her place..every time I look at you... I just regret in her place cause I am sure, she must have regretted it" You looked at him with disgust as you spoke, your gaze portraying the feelings you currently had for him and his actions and he fell quiet.
Your words were like poison that pierced through his skin and started affecting his blood, his mind, and his emotions. MinHee loved him but was he ever worthy of her heart? TaeYong always questioned that and found himself lacking but to hear that she would regret loving him, left a bitter taste on him. Because he had loved her back as much as he could. More than he had loved any woman in this life of his. Would she have regretted it and looked at him with the same gaze as you were if she was to see him now? Would she have thought that she wasted her life, dying to save him?
"All I did was try to survive. What's wrong with that?" He murmured to himself, his consciousness drifting between memories of the past and his emotions that were growing too powerful for him to control as the atmosphere between you, had somehow ended up in a heated argument.
"All I ever tried to do was live because she gave her life for mine! All I ever wanted was to give meaning to what she tried to protect! Because she loved me..because I-"He ended up spilling some words that he realized that he should not have spoken off as soon as they left his mouth, but it was too late, because you were now upon his neck, grabbing his collar.
"Tell me! What happened to her! I have to know. Tell me!!" You screamed at him as you held his collar tightly in a desperate manner more than just angry.
"Get away from me" He abruptly grabbed your hands and tore them off of him pushing you away with force, that ended up shoving you on the floor.
You had taken some objects from his desk with you as you fell, them making shattering sounds as they came in contact with the ground, only for silence to take over, as you stood there unmoved with your head low and TaeYong stood frozen, not believing what he had just done.
"Y/N?!" A voice suddenly called your name as the door of his office opened and Jimin's voice reached to your ears making you lift your head and look at his direction.
He looked at you with a worried expression as he instantly rushed at your aid but as he came and crouched down at your level and reached his hand out to touch you, you flinched and pulled away, making his movements come to a halt. You didn't look at his eyes, but Jimin felt his chest getting heavy as your body language had clearly rejected him.
You kept silent and just stood up on your own and without sparing any glance at him nor TaeYong, you just walked out of the room and Jimin rushed to follow you after he gave an unfriendly stare at TaeYong who was still shocked of what had happened.
"Y/N. Y/N please, hear me out for a moment. I-" Jimin spoke as his feet rushed behind you to keep up with your fast steps.
"What's there to tell me? Do you have to say something more than your friend did?" You turned around and faced him, your stare cutting Jimin's breath as he knew well that you now were aware of what he had done.
"I know, I betrayed you and I am sorry. Just please let me tell you why. " He told you as he looked at you softly, feeling guilty as well as in pain while you just stayed silent for a moment, the word betrayal echoing in your thoughts as he had now confirmed it.
"Did he threaten you?" You asked him and he lowered his gaze making your chest grow heavy now knowing that such was not the case.
"He just paid you well enough then."You uttered those words with a straight face, holding in all the pain that had taken over your chest and was affecting your breathing a bit.
Jimin just lowered his head more making you let out a small laugh that was meant to cover the disappointment you were feeling at that moment. Why couldn't he just lie? He proved to have been excellent at it till now after all. Would one more lie cost him this much? Because even though you would not be able to believe him at that moment, somehow a lie would have at least shown to you that he was indeed a bad person. But no, he had to stand before you with that gaze full of pain and guilt and say the truth. He had to stand there and feel ashamed to look at your eyes, making you feel as if you were the cause that made him sin.
"You said you wanted to explain. What are you waiting for? Speak. This is your last chance." You told him as you wanted him to be over with whatever he wanted to say so you could just leave and go close yourself in your room. In a place where you could break down and no eyes would see you. No one would judge if you had a right to feel hurt or nor if you were stupid or not, naive or innocent. As long as no one knew, no one could have an opinion.
"It was a job I ended up accepting because my family was in a bad state. I needed the money. I can't dare to ask you for your forgiveness nor for your understanding but please don't push me away now. I want to help you."Jimin looked at you as he spoke those words and you forced a smile on your lips.
"Why? Because you pity me? Because I look pathetic and your kind heart can't take it? That's what I was in your eyes, wasn't I?"You questioned him and then laughed a bit, but your laughter was only breaking him more because he could feel that there were no positive feelings that were bringing that laughter to surface.
"You have no need to waste your kindness and worry over me anymore. I thank you for your company till now. I hope your life goes well from now on. " You let your face return to an expressionless state as you spoke and then you bowed your head lightly to him, bidding a proper goodbye before you regained your straight posture and locked eyes with him.
"You are fired." Your words echoed on his ears as you turned around and just left, with your head high and your posture as proper as ever.
You had to look just fine after all. As long as someone was looking your emotions should not be on display. Till the very last moment, you will look okay because no one deserved to see your heart, not even him that made it beat for him.
---To be continued...