Chapter 37
"I think this is great, really." I told Adam glaring at the final touches we had finished the final touches of our idea.
"Thanks Charlie. I'm going to head out but I'll let you know how everything goes tomorrow! "He stated before heading to the door.
We were inside Blake's living room just as Ethan had entered the door as Adam was leaving.
"Was just on my way out." Adam stated.
Ethan shot him a look, "Big day tomorrow, huh?"
Adam let out a deep sigh, "You've got no idea."
Ethan laughed and slapped his shoulder, "Grow some balls. You'll be fine."
I threw my shoe at Ethan, "Don't be a d*ck!"
The shoe completely missed and hit Adam right in the back of his head.
"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry Adam." I shrieked.
Ethan laughed uncontrollably, "Leave before she ends up throwing a brick at you."
Adam laughed, "You're good. See you guys later!"
"Good luck!" I shouted as he walked out.
"Good aim," Ethan added plopping on the couch beside me.
"I really did just hit that boy in the head," I stated laughing.
"Well I'm just glad that we no longer have to see that kid here every damn day. Seriously 2 weeks too long." Ethan stated jokingly.
"Unless he royally f*cks up." Ethan added.
I nudged his ribs, "Positive thoughts. He got it."
Ethan flipped through the channels and put of course the ESPN channel on.
It was off season now that the Super bowl was just last Sunday.
Highlight of this last NFL season were plastered across the screen with some of the seasons best plays and of course, Drew had made the cut.
"Have you spoken to him?" Ethan asked breaking the silence.
"Not since three weeks ago. I'm not trying to punish him, I just need my own time." I told him.
I wrapped my arms around my legs and faced to look at Ethan as he spoke, "I know that you're upset with him and you need time, but just know that that boy loves you."
I nodded, "I know he does. But he needs to let me breathe, make my own decisions and stop hovering me like I'm about to break."
"Charlie you were in a mind-blowing accident that left every one of us clueless on how to act. Yeah we all f*cked up by how we handled things but we all knew. We were all trying to protect you." Ethan stated.
"I know that. But I felt that everything was being controlled for me. I love all of you for trying to protect me but enough is enough. He kept on trying to protect me from everything that was going on, things that I can handle on my own. You guys as well."
Ethan let out a breath before replying, "Charlie, he almost lost you. He almost lost you. We did too. But that man has gone through the damn ringer these last few months with you. If anyone can understand what you're going through, it is him. You may not remember what has happened, but could you imagine also being in his position when you went and saved his sister?"
"I could never forgive myself if it had been Blake and I in your shoes." He stated sadly.
I let his words sink in.
I knew where he was coming from and I know that Drew had been through hell.
I was just confused.
"Listen, it's you and Drew. You guys will be fine. Just don't let this be a damn reason why you guys waste months over not being together. Learn from my mistakes." Ethan stated kissing my cheek before standing.
************************************************
It was the next day at about 5 when the doorbell rang an excessive amount of times.
I opened the door and immediately was greeted by two very excited individuals.
"I SAID YES!!" Kenna greeted flashing her finger at me.
I laughed and grabbed her for a hug.
"I knew you would! I'm so happy for you." I squealed as she entered and gave me a tight hug.
"Oh my gosh! Adam had told me you had helped with the whole thing, thank you thank YOU! It was so perfect!" She squealed.
I laughed, "Where is he?" I asked.
"Parking the car! I was way too excited to wait I needed to get in here to show you. Look!" She stated excitedly showing me the video of the proposal.
I felt my insides lighten at the beautiful events that unfolded in front of my eyes.
"You guys are adorable," I stated as she clicked to turn her phone off.
She grabbed my hands and placed them in hers, "Seriously Charlie. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I know that its only been about a month or so since you've been back in the office but it means so much to me that you would put your time and effort into this, really."
"Don't thank me. I sense a genuine soul when I see one," I told her.
Adam came in just then.
"You couldn't have waited just two minutes?" Adam told Kenna.
Kenna rolled her eyes, "Do you not see this rock? How the hell do you expect me to wait this is the best damn thing ever!"
"I'm glad you're happy," Adam stated kissing Kenna's temple.
"Geesh for a second I thought he had been cheating on me," Kenna stated.
"All those sketchy days he had been going to a boys for poker night... I was really getting some bad vibes." Kenna added wafting her face as if she were hot.
"Ah I have to go tell Blake!" She squealed running up the stairs.
"You go do that!" I stated as she left Adam and I in the foyer.
"Proud of you! You pulled it off." I stated slapping his shoulder.
He laughed, "Thank you Charlie, really. I couldn't have done it without you."
I shot him a genuine smile, "Don't thank me. I'm happy I could help out and be a part of it."
He laughed and pulled me in for a hug, "You'll be next, don't worry. Your time is coming!"
I laughed as he tightened his hold, I could sense his pity just through the hug.
Just before he let go, the door opened and immediately I knew it was Drew.
That caused Adam to let go of his hold on me.
Of f*cking course.
"Right," Drew stated staring before walking beside us, ignoring Adam.
"It's not what you think bro," Adam stated in defense.
"Listen Doolittle, I'm not a fool enough to think that Charlie's fall was that hard for her to be into you. Don't worry." Drew stated cockily as he threw his arm over my shoulder, claiming his possessiveness.
I slapped his arm.
"Drew," I stated annoyed.
Adam laughed, "Well at least you know."
"Babe! Time to go. I need to go show my parents!" Kenna squealed running down the stairs.
The girl was absolutely bouncing off the walls.
She ran to Adam's side and kissed his cheek.
"Hi Drew! Do I look any different?" Kenna stated jokingly, flashing her ring obnoxiously as she combed through her hair.
Drew's eyes shot up and laughed, "So this is an actual thing."
Kenna laughed, "Sure is! Thank you again Charlie. I'll see you Monday!" Kenna replied as she walked out the door.
"You're pathetic." I told Drew, walking past him to head to my bedroom at the guest house.
"The man needed input from a girl he was once infatuated with to get input on how to propose to his current infatuation? And I'm the pathetic one?" He stated.
I walked out the door and heard him follow in the trickling rain.
I turned around before speaking, "Drew you can't just let me live my life just a little bit? What I do has nothing to do with you."
"It has every f*cking thing to do with me," he replied matter of fact.
"No it does not. Who I want to hang out with and who I talk to is none of your business. If I want to talk to a friend or let alone a damn guy I have every right to, with or without your acknowledgement." I stated.
He was absolutely overboard with needing to "protect" me so to say.
"There is no way in hell I'm going to sit back and allow you to even entertain the idea of another guy for you, not in this damn lifetime and not in the one after." He replied crossing his arms across his chest.
"Who the hell do you think you are, my father?" I replied sternly.
"No Charlie. I'm you're f*cking fiancée," he stated inches apart from me.
His words sent shivers down my spine.
His fiancée.
I closed my eyes at his comment.
"I came over to apologize for what I've done. You have absolutely every right to be upset with me but I didn't mean to hurt you. Can't you see that?" He replied.
My heart tugged at the his words.
"I've been sleeping at a f*cking hotel because I can't stand to go back to our home Charlie. Our home. My parents have been gone for weeks and I can't even step foot in that place without being consumed of you, of us." He stated with his voice breaking in between words.
"The first time I've gone back to that house was an hour ago, to get this for you," He said grabbing a pair of keys.
"I knew it was about time you'd drive yourself." He placed the key in my hand.
He had went back to his house to get my car for me.
"You went to your house today?" I asked.
"First time since you've last left it. I couldn't stand it there without you," He said firmly.
This man.
The light rain had picked up so I had ushered for him to come inside my room and he did so.
I threw the keys across the table and stared across the room from him.
"Every day I shut my eyes, it's a different nightmare, of you not waking up from the coma, you never making it out of the fire, El dying. All of it, it's too much." He stated.
I walked up to him and grabbed his hand and enveloped it in mine.
"I can't change what has happened. I'm not angry with you Drew. But you need to understand I'm overwhelmed. I've found out so many great memories I have no recollection of and the fact that they were all shared with you.. Drew I'm struggling." I told him honestly.
"And I know you are as well. I am sorry you've been alone in this, I know this hasn't been easy on you." I stated truthfully.
"I just need to know what is real and be on my own. I've had every decision, every act for me these last month's be run by everyone around me." I stated.
"No Charlie. You know we would never try and control your life, that's where you're mistaken," Drew interrupted.
"You're meaning to tell me that every single mishap between us lately hasn't been because of the decisions you've made for us?" I asked sarcastically.
He shook his head in disbelief, "I was only trying to protect you. Shit, I was only trying to love you."
His words were hitting home, and I knew he was struggling keeping his emotions at bay. His eyes wore a pained expression and I could feel my expression matching his.
I felt my tears streak down my cheeks.
"I don't know what else I can say other than I need you Charlie. I need you now more than ever. I just want this to all be over, I can't deal with being away from you, not for a second longer." He choked out.
I felt my tears let go uncontrollably.
I placed his hand on my heart, "I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused. Don't ever bring upon what's happened on your shoulders. But Drew, had you just been upfront with everything-"
"Charlie you act like I wanted to keep that information from you. You're kidding right? The second your eyes opened, I wanted to put the ring on your finger everyone around me... shit" He continued before stopping himself.
"Your mother, brothers, no one thought ambushing you was the best idea. Especially after you'd woken up asking for Wesley." He added.
"You asked for him, not me."
My heart hurt for the man standing in front of me.
His eyes were glossed over. He was fighting every bone in his being at the moment.
I had never seen Drew shed a single tear.
My heart was crashing all around me at the mere sight of him.
"I'm a man of my actions. I will stand by what I've done and I'm sorry you're upset we didn't tell you but I don't regret how I've handled things and if you can't see that we did this in the goodness for your health, then that's something you need to get over." He let out.
"If it meant that you didn't have emotional PTSD or got forbid a panic attack right after you'd woken, I was doing just that and not tell you. You act like it was easy not wanting to kiss you, hold your hand all the time, sleep next to you at night. This hasn't been easy for me either, you know."
I silently cried into his chest and let him embrace me.
We were both hurting so much.
Hurting over one thing.
My being.
The uncontrolled events that had happened.
"It's just too much" I shrieked.
I felt his arms tighten around me, his cheek resting on top of my head.
"If what you need is time to process, I will give you that. But my God Tiger, you're killing me." He whispered.
"I need some space from you. I'm not mad at you, I'm just so utterly lost Drew. I'm sad, surprised, angry at myself for not being able to remember. I think this just has more to do with me and things I need to overcome personally." I told him honestly.
Drew had been my rock and I was pushing him so far away from me when the issue wasn't him trying to help me, but with me letting out my frustration on my situation on him.
"We're supposed to do that together. That's exactly what I'm here for." Drew added sadly.
I shook my head, "I'm only hurting you Drew. I feel your sadness so transparently and it breaks my f*cking heart." I stated pulling away just to face him.
"I will always fight for you, for us. But if you're telling me that you need some time, I will f*cking leave today and I swear you won't hear from me until you're ready. As much as it f*cking pains me, I'll do it for you. If this is what you need," Drew choked out letting a single tear roll down his cheek.
My heart shattered all at once and I held back my sob.
Wiping away the tear with my finger I spoke, "Let me come back to you."
His hand was wrapped tightly around my neck and his eyes were piercing into mine, melting my entire being.
I loved Drew.
There was not a single doubt.
With every ounce of my being.
But I knew that I needed to be less dependent on him, and be on my own two feet without feeling any hidden truths and feel that he was imposing on my freedom when in reality, he had been simply trying to take care of me.
I needed to think clearly without feeling angry about my situation, the past, without feeling ashamed I couldn't remember our special moments together.
He tugged onto the necklace I was wearing of the ring softly and kissed my forehead hard.
I relished in the moment as I knew he would give me some time, and it would be a while until I felt his touch,.
"I almost lost you Charlie, so if you think that I'll be gone for long, think again. I'll be waiting when you're ready." Drew stated before walking out of the guest house leaving me alone and cold in the dark.
I let out the first sob as the door slammed.
He was hurting now because of me and I felt more sad than ever before.