We were out for the rest of the day. I was extremely tired when we finally made it back inside. It seemed like Aaron was avoiding going back to the house, or maybe not the house but the people inside it. I couldn't help but worry and wonder if he'd been arguing with any of his brothers.
If he was, it could only be my fault...
Once back inside I quickly lost track of him, I think that might have been by design. He was probably cautious of being seen with me. Hoping no one would realise we'd been gone together all day I expect...
I didn't mind, of course, that was perfectly reasonable. Although, I would prefer it if he was up front with me about it, share his concerns and everything.
It would put my mind at ease, because despite how illogical it is, my mind still wonders dark things, like if he's ashamed of me, or is up to something malicious...
Stupid, I wish I would stop thinking things like that.
Alex was in Angel's room when I went to see her, feeding her a celery stick.
I smiled at him, but he just smiled awkwardly back before hastily leaving.
I'm too tired to chase whatever is going on there...
I sighed before sitting down in front of her pen.
"Are you doing better now sweetie? You look it." I smiled down at her as she crunched away. "I hope you don't mind your alien company, you'll be back where you belong soon..." I sighed, feeling a sink in my chest.
If I was to receive the same treatment, where would I belong? I'm so vulnerable right now, with nowhere to turn if things go sour.
I should start earning money somehow.
Although, with my mother filing for divorce already...it might be wiser to play the part of her dedicated son again...
Despite that being more of a lie than it ever was.
I guess in that case, I'd be at her mercy.
I'm a ticking time bomb in this place...the rope keeping me here is short, but I don't know how short.
And every brother that I defy or have conflict with cuts the rope a substantial amount... especially with the older ones.
Speaking of...
"Are you expecting me to start dancing or something?" I commented as I looked up at Chester.
"I was just admiring the view." He smirked, before entering the room fully. "And noting your solemn expression, it doesn't do much for your complexion you know?"
"I'll keep that in mind." I sighed as he collapsed down onto the sofa. "What's up?"
"Nothing, just bored."
"Another day off huh?" I smiled and he rolled his eyes.
"I do have interesting days off, sometimes."
"Sure you do. Why don't you take up a hobby?"
"What hobby?"
"I don't know...draw something." I smirked and he gave me a look.
"You do realise as an architect I am a pretty decent draftsman?"
"You're not really an architect though are you, you're just in charge of the architects."
"Hmph."
"Well then seriously, start... drawing things."
"Right, drawing what exactly?"
"I don't know...do you like cars or something?" I chuckled and he held an unimpressed expression before it morphed into a grin. "...What?"
"So I should draw things that I like..." He smirked. "Don't suppose you'd be into the modelling trade?"
"Uh..."
"Clothes not included, of course." He added and I shook my head at him.
"I think I'll pass."
"You don't want to be drawn like one of my French girls?"
"Sure, that'd be 1000 pounds an hour." I commented and he chuckled.
"Tempting. Although I'd need to go convert some dollars at the bank."
"I'm sure you can find a model of a similar physique in a life drawing class." I smiled and he shrugged before getting off of the sofa and sitting down beside me.
"Sure, but they would never be as beautiful."
"I'm not so beautiful anymore. If I ever was."
"Your injuries will heal, and scars are hot, like a badass edgy character from a movie or something." He snickered. "It's not just your appearance that makes you attractive, anyway."
"Oh yes, apparently my passive and easily manipulated nature is also attractive to other men."
"Well, I mean... I wasn't talking about that."
"You won't deny it then?" I smirked and raised a brow.
"It's not a bad thing or anything?"
Welp.
I gave him a look and he laughed.
"I'm just teasing." He nudged me but I narrowed my eyes at him.
"Sure you are."
"There's no need to go questioning your disposition now, you're plenty attractive both inside and out. To me at the very least."
"Great."
"Do you not value my approval?" He asked with mock offense.
"Well you're easily satisfied."
"Wow, rude, I'm offended. Do you take me for a man-whore? You do remember you're the only person I've ever been with, don't you?"
"I wasn't talking about that."
"Then what?"
"You're just easy is all." I chewed on my lip trying to hide my smirk.
"I'm not easy, you're just a hard temptation to ignore."
"I'm sure you'd get on fine with someone else that's your type."
"Who knows, I don't get out much." He chuckled.
"Maybe you should go places on your day off... join a club."
"Like golf?" He laughed and I rolled my eyes at him.
"Not quite what I was going for." I commented as he smiled at me, leaning in.
"Now why would I want to leave when I have plenty good entertainment here?" He quirked a brow as he glanced down at my lips, making his intentions clear.
Usually I'd be willing, even wanting, of such a situation, but for some reason it made me tense.
"That entertainment won't be here forever." I raised a brow and he tilted his head.
"What? Where are you going?"
"I don't know, I know I won't be welcome here for long."
"You mean your mother's divorce? That won't change things, we'll still want to have you. I'm sure the fact you're no longer our stepbrother might improve things, make them less.. scandalous." He smirked.
"You think I can just go on this way forever?" I asked as he lowered his head, brushing against my neck.
"Why not? I don't mind."
"You're not the only one involved." I commented as he lightly kissed my skin.
"I don't mind sharing, either. For now." He lifted is head, smiling before gently pecking my lips.
"Well, others don't share your opinion on sharing."
"Well, they're just selfish. Want you all to themselves."
"That's not the best mindset. Are you saying you'd never want to be exclusive?"
"Since when was that what you worried about? Becoming monogamous are we?" He asked as his hands wondered down.
I bit down on my tongue harshly as I grabbed his hand stopping him.
Do it.
Say it.
"I..." I froze, and he frowned before moving away.
"I don't really...want to." I couldn't continue, but hoped he understood where I was going.
I became nervous when he just stared at me, my mind beginning to feel like it was sinister. But then he smiled, gently cupping my cheek.
"If you've already been won over you only needed to say." He chuckled.
"Won? What?"
"You'd usually be up for something casual like this despite the consequences. But now you have someone else in the back of your mind making you uncomfortable. Don't you?"
"...I don't ...as in, trauma? It doesn't affect me like that." I defended and he smirked.
"Although in my opinion, love sounds traumatic, I wasn't talking about a negative influence."
"I don't understand what you mean."
"Wow, you have got that repression technique on point haven't you?" He laughed and then sighed, staring down at the floor. "You know I often think that if I never let you go that day I'd have won you over."
"What? What day?"
What is happening, I've got whiplash from the topic change.
"The day you left for England, I had you by the door, and you promised you'd come back if I let you go...and I did. If I didn't you wouldn't have gone..and you would have completely different relationships with everyone." He chuckled. "No close relationship with Alex or Aaron, no extra drama with Luca. No more trauma... you'd never have met Matias or been found by Finn... and maybe I would have you." He smiled at me as I stared at him.
"That didn't happen, there's no point looking back. I'm sorry my broken promise ended up causing you so much regret..."
"Yeah well, you apologized for it plenty fine." He winked at me and I shook my head at him with a smile.
He leaned forward, kissing me on the cheek, before standing up.
"I should probably get on with things...not work related." He smiled, moving out of the door before glancing back. "If you ever change your mind, I'd always be open."
And he was gone.
I stared in front of me for a while before looking down at Angel with a frown. "Do you get what just happened?" I asked before chuckling.
I mean...he got what I meant...I think?
I chewed my lip, concerned about the strange anxiety inside me.
"Riley!" A woman's voice shouted as a door opened, and I sighed.
Here we go.
I reluctantly stood up and walked into the hallway. My mother stood at the bottom of the stairs, then approached me when she noticed me.
"You're usually in your room, or someone else's." She stated and I frowned at her.
"What do you want?"
"Don't take that tone with me young man." She glared, before looking around her. She harshly grabbed my arm and dragged me further into the hallway away from the main living room.
"Pack discretely, it's time for us to go." She whispered, and I swallowed.
"I can't."
"What do you mean you can't? We're through with this family, I have a driver scheduled to pick you up tomorrow morning, when it's finalized."
"Where are you going?"
"Haven't decided yet." She sighed, looking around the room with distaste. She turned back to me sharply when I didn't say anything. "Well? Say something! I am doing this for you after all. Cant have you living here after what happened."
"You're not..."
"Excuse me?"
"You're not doing this for me, you're just jumping on an excuse to divorce him early." I grit my teeth when she gripped my wrist and twisted it.
"How dare you! After all this stress, how could you say such a thing?" She asked, looking at my eyes and around them at my injury with something just short of disgust.
I knew for sure her intentions, and why she was doing it. I'd like nothing more than to confront her, tell her how much I despised it. But every time I was actually in front of her, she sucked my confidence away into nothing.
Despite that, I couldn't just agree.
"I am not leaving yet." I stated, only a little shakily, and her eyes pierced me. She dug her nails into the skin of my arm.
"You're coming with me tomorrow or not at all young man."
"I just need a week, to sort things out." I pleaded, staring into her eyes stubbornly despite the pain of her nails.
She glared at me, before looking up and noticing Aaron staring at her sharply on the stairs. She looked behind her to see Nate and Hunter watching from the doorway.
"If you want to watch the shit show that's about to break lose then go ahead and stay." She released my arm sharply then leaned in. "But avoid Andrew if you know what's good for you." She turned around and stormed out as I glanced down at my arm. Ow, she'd broken the skin...hope I don't get rabies.
I looked up at Aaron as he watched me in concern, then smiled as the other two turned back around. "That might be the last you guys see of her." I smirked, avoiding them and walking back into Angel's room.
I sighed as I sat down, nursing my arm.
Great. A deadline. The last thing I needed.
I noticed the door open as someone entered, looking up when I realised it wasn't anyone I would have expected.
I wasn't really stable enough to sat anything, and looked down so I was hiding my face.
Alex sighed when I didn't do anything.
"Are you alright?" He asked tensely.
"I'm fine..." I mumbled, staring down at Angel.
"You can talk to me about it if you want..."
No I can't.
I just shook my head without looking at him.
After a moment or two of silence he left with a sigh.
I noticed myself trembling a little and sighed in irritation. I was on the verge of both tears and a panic attack.
I guess Angel was helping a little.
I tensed when someone else came in, but their calm silence meant it could only be one person.
He sat on the sofa and didn't say anything...was just, there.
I eventually calmed down enough to smile up at him.
"Do you want to talk about it Sunshine?" He asked with a smile, and I sighed before staring down at my arm. There was a small trail of blood from one of the nail marks.
"I'm not sure..." I mumbled. I put Angel back in her pen and then sat next to him on the sofa.
"I guess its just kind of embarrassing to be bullied by your own mother." I huffed, fiddling with my fingers.
"Not what I'd call a mother. She's being abusive and manipulative. Neglectful as well, and many other unpleasant words. You shouldn't humour her, you should tell her to stay away."
"I can't do that, I kind of rely on her for some things...I wouldn't survive on my own."
"You're not on your own, you've got us." He reassured, and I smiled at him.
"I don't. There isn't stability here...and what there is I can't rely on. I can't give up my parent's support, no matter how bad it is, for people I don't know will want to deal with me.. what would I do if I got kicked out? I'd have nothing..."
"Riley, we wouldn't kick you out."
"Maybe you wouldn't, but you can't speak for all of your brothers. Not everyone likes me and they have the right to want me gone..it's their home and their family, and if I make it uncomfortable for them I shouldn't stay, I've been here less than a year."
He frowned at me, then sighed. "Well maybe I can't control whether you stay here or not, but I'm not leaving you on your own."
I bit my lip as he looked into my eyes intensely. He was trying to tell me that I could trust him, rely on him. But I couldn't take such a big risk...what if his feelings changed...and it wasn't right to put that on him in the first place.
"Well, I guess I'll just see what happens in a week..." I forced a small smile and he squeezed my hand.
"You should sort that wound out, don't want to catch whatever she has." He commented making me snort and chuckle.
"Yeah, good point." I stood up as Hunter and Alex stood at the doorway.
"How about we have our movie night?" Hunter asked and smiled between us.
"Not sure that's the best idea." Aaron commented and he huffed.
"Aw come on, we used to always have one around this time. Now you're always...busy. Not like I mind or anything it's cute but you know now seems like a good time right?" Hunter chuckled awkwardly as Alex gave him a look.
"What do you think?" Aaron smiled at me and I blinked.
"Uhh, I don't really watch films that often."
"Great that'll mean you haven't seen them before!" Alex smiled and I chuckled.
"Sure."
"Ooh! Can I pick, comedy?"
"Please not a comedy, they're always so crude." Aaron shook his head with a disgusted face.
"You just don't appreciate them because you've got an immature sense of humour. You'd probably like things like kids shows. You don't hog the TV at the daycare do you?" Hunter teased and he rolled his eyes.
"There's a difference between jokes and just being plain offensive." Aaron complained as Nate wondered out of the games room.
"Oh, maybe something like Brooklyn 99? Not a movie but that humour is suitable for our more... sensitive viewers." Nate suggested and pulled out his tongue as Aaron gave him a look.
"To be honest I don't think Riley's humour is much better." Alex commented.
"Uncalled for! I was just standing here innocently." I pouted and he chuckled.
"Well we need to see to that wound but we'll join you in a minute." Aaron excused and Alex pouted down at my arm.
"Sure."
"It'll be fine with a little wash." I commented as I followed him into the kitchen.
"Don't want to risk that, nails are dirty, with chemicals and bacteria, especially ones kept long like that." He stated and I made a face as I looked at my arm.
"Ew."
I sat on the counter and clicked my tongue as he rooted around in the cupboard for something.
"...What are you looking for?" I eventually asked after a minute.
"Just..ah, found it." He brought out some antibacterial alcohol bottle and I made a face.
"Ah, stingy thing." I commented and he smiled.
"It shouldn't hurt a small puncture wound like that." He reassured as he walked over. "It's not as strong as the stuff from the hospital anyways." He settled in front of me and I smiled at him.
"Can I possibly do it myself so I can feel like a grown up?" I teased and he snickered.
"No. " He answered flatly and I chuckled.
"Woww.-ow!" I complained when he suddenly wiped the alcohol over it. "Mean!" I pulled my arm away and nursed it before giving him a look.
"What?Now it's over with without you making it difficult."
"I wouldn't have made it difficult it's just rubbing alcohol! Damnn." I complained and he chuckled at me. "Don't laugh at me, now who's bullying." I huffed and shook my head at him.
"Are you going to be okay to be around the others this evening?" He asked, turning serious.
I sighed, staring at my lap. "Yeah, should be."
"Sorry, didn't mean to upset you."
"It's not that, I'm just thinking about, well, leaving."
"You're not leaving, at least not tomorrow, and you don't need to worry about it either way. I'm not the only one who's got your back." He reassured making me smile.
I leaned forward gently and rested my forehead against his. "Got my back huh." I smirked.
I closed my eyes as he moved and lightly kissed my temple, feeling more relaxed.
Hm.
I leaned away and put my hands on his shoulders as he blinked at me. "You feel tense." I commented and he frowned.
"A little, I guess."
He made a face and tilted his head when I put both of my hands through his hair. "What are you doing?"
"Don't like that?" I chuckled at him, noticing his cheeks were a little red. "Wait stay stillll." I complained when he tried to move back and he chuckled.
"Why?"
"Because. Your hair is nice." I smirked. "Do you think I'd suit long hair?"
"No."
"Ruddeee."
"Riley." He complained when I started ruffling it up and I laughed before leaning forwards and kissing him on the forehead. He didn't say anything or move back, and I just rested my head against his again.
He's always so hesitant and gentle...makes me wonder if I'm the only one who feels like this.
"HURRY UP YOU TWO!" A shout made me jump and look around.
"That scared the shit out of me." I chuckled to myself. I turned back around, and he was giving me a look so fond it made me blush.
"What?" I asked with a smile and he shook his head.
"Nothing, let's go." He moved away and walked out of the kitchen. I watched him go with a frown, before jumping off of the counter and following him.
Why does he do that...
-
I didn't quite understand why they were wanting to watch this show they'd already seen before. They started the whole series again because they wanted me to 'understand' what was going on, but the concept was pretty basic.
I didn't really pay attention for long, it was just such a comfy sofa...and I was tired.
Oops.
I decided closing my eyes for a while wasn't going to be too noticeable.
Alex seemed pretty stern when it came to paying attention. I was worried he and Nate would start fighting again when he told him to shut up, but Nate didn't seem to even care.
They got a little offended when Aaron started reading something instead of watching but they didn't say anything to me.
They carried on watching for a long while, every time I woke up it'd still be on. Eventually I woke and there wasn't any movement. The TV was still blaring loudly though.
I got up quietly and noticed them all asleep on the bean bags. I smirked to myself before looking back at Aaron on the sofa. He smiled at me and put a finger against his lips.
If I turn the TV off it'd probably wake them up...
They all had blankets and pillows on the beanbags, frankly it looked quite comfy.
"Why are you still here if they're asleep?" I wondered as I walked back over to him.
"You were still here." He said simply and I frowned as I sat down next to him.
"That doesn't really count as an explanation."
"Well I didn't want to wake any of you, and I'm tired anyway." He yawned and I smiled. I reached across the sofa and grabbed a blanket before placing it on him as he gave me a look.
"There you go, don't say I never look after you." I chuckled quietly.
"Sure." He smiled at me as I settled back down next to him and gently rested my head against his shoulder. "What's up with you?" He asked when I just stayed there in silence.
"Nothing, why?" I mumbled and he went silent.
I glanced up at him eventually to see him looking a little uncomfortable."Do I make you nervous?" I smirked.
"More like self conscious sometimes, recently you've been a little hard to read."
"Hard to read? Or maybe you're ignoring what you see because you're insecure." I chuckled to myself as he frowned.
"What am I seeing?" He wondered and I shook my head at him before gently kissing his cheek and settling down against him.
"I don't know." I closed my eyes and sighed.
He was silent for several moments. "... Riley?" He said quietly and I made a tired noise in reply.
He didn't say anything else.
---
Henlo it iS me, my phone has no internet so I've been typing this on an iPad knock-off and it's driving me insaneeee
Can't believe it's been like nearly two months and I'm still sleeping on someone's floor yeet I miss privacy and a bed.
Anyway just split this chapter in half because the next half....deserves to be it's own chapter lmao
Will post the next half soon...ish
🌞