**I DESERVE HIM**
Shikhar's Pov...
The bitterness in Suhana's voice was piercing my heart. I wanted to say something... everything... to her but it felt like I was out of words.
Gathering the much needed courage, I once again tried to vocalize what I wanted to, "I know... I... kno... know Sohu" but ended up suttering badly and hoped her to understand me just by looking in my eyes like she used to do in past.
But instead of understanding, only one thing was visible in her eyes and that was hurt... Only and only hurt.
"You know nothing Shikhar... nothing.
You don't know how heartbroken I was when that brother of yours left me.
You don't know how much I needed you at that moment but you were nowhere to be found.
You don't know how helpless I was when Baba forced me to abort my baby.
You don't know how much I all alone fought with my own parents to save my unborn but all in vein.
I had neither my so called best friend nor my boyfriend to held me and to console me.
I had no one with me Shikhar... no one." Suhana slided down against the counter and pulled her knees to her chest while wrapping her arms around them as if it will help her to hold herself together.
Her hysterical sobbing made me felt the smallest creature of this world for hurting someone whom I claim to be my bestfriend.
I crouched down to her level and gently wiped off the moisture from her face. She got startled by my touch but didn't reacted.
I shushed her and raised her face to my eye level with my index finger.
"I admit that I have done a grave mistake but dont you wanna know the reason behind it?" I enunciated each word very calmly and luckily this time Suhana didn't pushed me away.
Taking her silence as a cue, I continued further.
"Main dar gaya tha Suhana. I got... I got scared when that asshole brother of mine told me about your pregnancy. I was this much mad at him that we even got indulged in a really very ugly fight and as result of that he went away somewhere. For weeks, I like a fool searched for him every where but failed and in the end when I all defeated returned back to Ambala, the news of your marriage welcomed me." Suhana was listening to me very intently and her eyes were glittering with the unshed tears.
"Suhana, till this day I was regreting for not supporting you in your toughest time" I wiped off the tears that slipped down from my eyes and continued "but today I am glad that finally God give me another chance to ask your forgiveness for me and my brother. Please forgive me and Vishal; Suhana, please" I pleaded her with folded hands.
She hold my hands in hers and said in a monotonous voice "Its not easy for me to forget everything and forgive you and especially Vishal. But for the sake of old times... Our friendship... I'll try".
The distantness I felt in her voice, made me realise that I have to make a long way to gain her forgiveness and I was all ready for that.
"Ok... Come on now... Get up and lets go out otherwise Aksh will come here in no time" I stood up while extending my hand towards Suhana.
She gripped my forwarded hand in hers and balanced herself on her feet.
We made our way out the restroom and walked to where Aksh and Kirti were seated.
"Took you long enough" Aksh asked or stated as I was about to settle myself on the armchair across him, making me share a second long eye contact with Suhana who was standing a meter away from me.
"The stain was very adamant... Not at all ready to go away" I tried to laugh out off the situation and much to my relief Aksh also didn't persuade the topic.
After having some more talks, me and Aksh headed towards the dining table whereas Suhana and Kirti moved towards the kitchen to serve the dishes.
Dinner was a silent affair as we all concentrated more on food then talking.
"I think I should get going now" a while later, I uttered and stood up to leave.
"As much as I want you to stay but wont force you because its really quite late" Aksh said with a smile and raised on his feet.
Kirti followed his suit and both brother-sister duo moved ahead to drop me off at the main gate.
I turned around and found Suhana still standing at her spot with the expressions I was not able to decipher.
"Ohh... Aksh I think I left my wallet in the restroom" I mused as we were passing the garden area and was about to reach the gate.
"Wait... I'll get it for you" Kirti turned around and started moving inside.
"Koi baat nahi Kirti... Main khud le aayuga" I uttered blocking her way in two long strides and literally ran inside before she or Aksh could stop me.
I was feeling bad for lying to Aksh but just cant bring myself to leave without meeting my long-lost best friend.
I searched for Suhana in each and every room but couldn't able to find her.
Feeling dejected to where she was gone, I was about to leave when suddenly she appeared from kitchen.
Her back was facing me hence she was not aware about my presence.
"Suhana" I said while standing too close to her ears.
"God" she turned around with lightening speed and whispered with her hands on her heart.
"You scared me" her horrified expressions were laugh worthy.
"You stupid... Stop laughing on me" she gritted her teeths while hitting me on my forearm.
The small smile, I saw on her lips gave
me the slightest glimpse of my old Suhana.
"Will you consider if I say something?" I asked with crossed fingers.
She nodded in affirmation making me sigh in relief.
I moved a bit closer to her and cupped her face between my palms.
"Suhana, whatever happens happens for good and I think maybe there must be some goodness behind whatever Vishal did with you. So, now leave this emotional baggage of yours behind cause its high time for you to move on in your life" I mustered and hoped her to understand me.
But when my eyes scanned her blank face, I understood she was not ready to give her life... herself... another chance.
I turned towards the door and started moving when her soft hands held my wrist.
I again came face to face with her.
"What you mean? Say it clearly..." The uncertainty was evident in her voice as well as her eyes.
"I just want you understand that give Aksh... his love... a chance in your life. I don't want you to loose him because of your past experiences. Make things correct before it gets too late. You deserve him damn it. You deserve him... his love" I literally pleaded as a drop of tear leaked from the corner of my eye.
"I deserve him... I deserve him... I deserve love..." She repeated continuously while hugging me like my best friend... my Suhana.
•~•~•~•
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