She didn't know that Wang He Di now owns a part of MANTRA.
Somehow that had escaped all of their conversations.
She wondered why he had not thought of telling her about it but everything they had gone through came to mind and she knows that it doesn't matter because knowing who he was and how she had witnessed his struggle in trying to stop her from writing Zi Wei's book, it might have been one of the steps he took and it wouldn't surprise her at all if he indeed had done it for that purpose alone.
The man can be very single-minded in what he wants.
And he himself admitted that with all the resources he has, it could be very easy to be a cruel man.
Yet it isn't this that made her slap Feiyu but his assumption that she is someone who can be bought, that just because she loves someone is she would immediately be blind to their errors, that she could not think for herself.
She wondered how, over the course of their friendship, he could overlook how she's always had the tendency to overthink everything and thus doesn't just get into certain situations without being sure that she is going into them with her eyes wide open.
In this case, she could not say the same for Feiyu because no matter what he knows and even if he is directly one of the "characters" in THIS particular story, he does not see and know everything. He remains blind.
"Even if he is my boyfriend or even if he owns the company that publishes my books, I won't say he is a different man if he really isn't a different man. Feiyu, we have been friends far longer than I have known DiDi personally. Shouldn't you know me better?"
"I thought that but here you are, slapping me because I have the audacity to tell you the truth."
She did not flinch at the sharpness his tone held.
"I slapped you because I want you to wake up and use your head instead of your heart. There is something you are not telling me, Feiyu, and I want to find out what that is. What is it truly that you have come to tell me about DiDi?"
"Yue, he is just using you as a tool to get Zuer back. You probably won't agree with me and you will most likely think that I am only using my heart, but I also know Wang He Di better than you do. I have seen him in his best and in his worst."
"Feiyu, you do not know the whole story and I can safely say that the reason you say such things is because of that."
"I KNOW HOW MUCH HE LOVED ZUER! AND I KNOW TO WHAT LENGTHS HE IS WILLING TO GO FOR HER! HE WAS ABOUT TO MARRY HER. HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN THAT? AND KNOWING HIM AND WHAT HE DID TO ME, DO YOU THINK HE WOULD BE ABLE TO LET EVERYTHING GO SO EASILY AND LOVE YOU?!?"
If the same questions had not kept her up nights then Feiyu asking them now would have shaken her to her core.
But she has asked these very questions hundreds... if not thousands of times before and she already expressed these very same fears to DiDi.
So, no matter Feiyu's insistence, she knows that DiDi has already reached his limits and have laid all of his card down for her to see.
"You really believe that he is using me to get Zuer back?"
"Am I wrong?"
"Feiyu... nothing could be further from the truth."
"Yue, you are letting your love for him blind you."
She took a deep breath. "Am I blind or are you? I do not even know if you are in the right mindset now to listen to me share with you the whole story so you could understand why I am insistent in defending DiDi to you. If we continue on the way we are talking now, I'm afraid we could only end up fighting back and forth and not reach a resolution. You have closed your heart and mind to any argument that could belie what you hold to be true and I won't stand down on what I believe in too."
His friend didn't hear a thing.
"Didn't you ever wonder how someone like him was suddenly kind to you? Why he reached out to you to write a second book? Why –"
"DiDi is not the one who asked me to write a second book", she cut him off.
If he will insist in pursuing this conversation, then she will tell him the truth and she will make sure that he understands at least that DiDi did not look for her. He didn't even want to.
It was another person.
"Zi Wei approached me and asked me whether I would consider writing a second book", Yue watched Feiyu's eyes flicker with shock, "Also... if you think that this second book backtracks on everything that I wrote on the first, I want you to know you are wrong. The second book is exactly that! A second book! A continuation of the first but this time around, it continues Chin's story – Zi Wei's Story. How she was able to recover from her heartbreak, how it changed her, how it became a turning point for her and the man she is about to marry soon! It isn't about you or Zuer. It isn't even about DiDi. IT'S ABOUT ZI WEI, THE WOMAN YOU LEFT, AND HER STORY OF HOPE!"
She remembered that fateful day that Zi Wei walked in on her life and the words she had said to convince her to write her story.
"Zi Wei wasn't even angry about what was written in the first book. If anything, she was thankful that I wrote it and that she had the chance to read it. Did you know that she even wanted to be able to talk to you, talk to Zuer, reach out, and ask for forgiveness and then give her forgiveness as well? Feiyu... if you say that you know DiDi well, then I would assume that you know Zi Wei better and you would know how big her heart is. I will also assume that it isn't a surprise for you anymore that she did this.
You loved her once, didn't you?"
His eyes clouded over when she had explained Zi Wei's involvement.
In his own words, that was the woman who went through heaven and hell to go back to him and yet he had betrayed her.
Surely, he will realize how crazy his accusations are.
He has to.
Or else his heart would combust, burn him, and burn everyone else in his path... possibly even Zuer.
"No..."
She took his hands in hers and willed him to look at her. "You and Zuer know how I was in love with Zhi Ting but how I could not do anything because my best friend loves him too. When I first heard your story... you were a hero for me, Feiyu. You had all of the cards stacked against you, but you fought for what you felt. Yes, it hurt a lot of people and yes, it caused so much chaos but you did not give up and continues to fight on. You faced everything – Zi Wei's pain, DiDi's wrath, the shame of friends and family. Everything.
And I wanted to be you.
I wanted to do the very same thing you did.
BUT...
My heart hurts for you right now and maybe I should have anticipated this, somehow, since there are always repercussions to everything we do – whether they be bad or good. Maybe it traumatized you, maybe it haunted you far deeper than either Zuer or I ever thought because you were the one who experienced DiDi's anger first hand that is why you are here... but I am here to tell you that while you have allowed this fear to develop inside you, everyone else has moved on with their lives. Zuer has, Zi Wei has, even DiDi finally has."
If this had happened weeks ago, Yue knows she would not be able to confidently say the same for DiDi.
In the story that Zuer, DiDi, Zi Wei, and Feiyu have found themselves tangled in, both men apparently had been the ones who stayed longest in the dark.
"You broke the mold, Feiyu. You fought it. You triggered the change for all of you to go to where fate is actually taking you. Shouldn't you be the one stepping out into the light and leaving all of the pain in the past behind?", she continued, "No one is after you anymore. You can be happy. WE can all be happy."
"Then... why did Wang He Di and Zuer meet and she has not told me anything about it?", the surprise in her eyes did not go unnoticed as Feiyu smirked, "It seems even you do not know about that."
"There could be a perfectly good reason why they haven't told us anything. Unless we get to talk to the both of them, we should not be jumping into conclusions."
It will not do well to feed into his paranoia.
Yue is curious too about the conversation that Zuer and DiDi had but she believes in what she just said.
She would give her boyfriend the time to explain it to her and tell her what it was all about.
Apparently, there are a lot of things that she and DiDi still need to talk about but isn't that what relationships are for? Talking to each other, hearing each other out, and then deciding on how to move forward?
The way Feiyu is acting now is a product of his decision to hide his fears from Zuer.
Yue made a promise to herself that at this very moment that she would do her utmost to be honest to DiDi about the most important things because she does not want to be like her friend.
"He is playing with you", the man in front of her declared, "I know I should have expected this but I did not expect how deeply he has already brainwashed you, Yue."
"Feiyu... please. Listen to me."
She might as well talk to a wall.
He is deaf to her plea.
"If you want him to ruin you the way he has ruined me, then go on right ahead Yue. I have done all I can. Maybe, it's time I confront my wife too."
He stood up from his seat and headed outside so fast, she almost tripped the table trying to follow him.
"FEIYU!!!" she screamed after his retreating back.
If he confronts Zuer in that mood, he could easily ruin their marriage.
Yue remembered the last conversation, she and Zuer had, and how worried her friend was that her husband was spending so much time in the office and was missing out on their family.
Also, will Feiyu even be willing to listen to his wife in that state?
"CHEN FEIYU!!!" Yue ran after him and saw him going into his car.
She cannot let him destroy the most important thing he has in his life.
She knocked on his car's window to catch his attention. "Feiyu, don't talk to Zuer now. If you want to confront her, then you have to calm down first. You shouldn't talk to her in this state!"
"Didn't you, yourself, say to talk to them and ask them why they met with each other?", he responded as he rolled his car window down, "That is what I am going to do, Yue. And if her answer ends up hurting both of us then I will come back here and tell you that I was right all along, but you were just too blind to see it."
Without even giving her the opportunity to safely get away from his window, Feiyu drove off and Yue immediately headed for her own car.
She has to go after him.
" Don't be stupid Feiyu. Please... please... please don't be stupid", she whispered under her breath as she opened the gates and then jumped inside her car to hopefully still stop one very lost and very angry man from destroying his world.
***
"Shen Yue, why do you have a cellphone when you don't even use it!", Zuer gritted her teeth in frustration as for the nth time, she received no answer from Yue's ringing phone.
After taking their son to her parent's house, she drove like a speed racer towards her friend's home to check on whether her instinct is correct.
From the moment she saw the draft message on her husband's phone up until this time she is nearing her friend's house, there are still no answer to her calls. Her heart has not stopped trying to jump out of her chest.
Could Yue be talking to Feiyu now? What could her husband be possibly saying to their friend? Why would he keep this secret from her? Should she worry or should she just wait for him to –
BUT WHAT IS HAPPENING ANYWAY?!?! WHAT IS GOING ON??????
A familiar looking car zoomed past her as her head continued to drown in all her questions. In the split second before it disappeared from view, she was able to see that the car plate belonged to Feiyu.
Why is he driving at such a dangerous speed????
IS HE WITH YUE?!?!?!
"Dear Heavens, help me!" she uttered as she decided to turn back around and go after it.
Right then, a second car zoomed past her and she recognized Shen Yue's car.
IS SHE GOING AFTER FEIYU?!?!
She immediately turned and stepped on her gas to catch up with the two of them.
In about a minute, she finally saw the writer's car but not her husband's.
She honked to get her friend's attention so she could better understand what the hell is going on.
After a minute, Yue slowed down, allowing her to pull up next to the Civic.
The writer rolled her car window down the same time she did.
"Zuer!"
"Yue!"
The two of them greeted one another, the writer surprised, while she anxious.
"WHAT IS –"
An impact as loud as a bomb explosion cut Zuer's question off.
She saw the front of a truck ram into Yue's car and eventually push back her car as well.
The whole world spinned and then there were screams before a heavy, dragging darkness enveloped everything else.
It was all too fast.
It was all too soon.
A delivery truck had lost control of its breaks and rammed into two cars crossing the intersection. The sound of skidding tires and horrified screams reached Feiyu who was five cars ahead and something inside him willed him to stop and check what happened.
Nothing in his nightmares could ever compare to the sight he saw when he reached the place where the accident had taken place.
"ZUER!!!!! SHEN YUE!!!!!!!!!" his terrified voice drowned out everything else as he ran over in despair "ZUER!!!!! SHEN YUE!!!!!!!!!"
***
Author's Note:
My dearest loves, I hope you are safe and healthy, wherever you are. *ghost hug*
I have nothing much to say for what comes next other than... hold on to something.
I will see you very soon!
- Mai