Laughter, screams and cries of glee rang through the air as children ran around the playground like ants- but without discipline. Mantis had to remind herself that as small as they were in comparison to her, they too would grow bigger.
Then she watched as a couple leisurely strolled through the streets, the father with a hand lovingly wrapped around his wife's waist as she pushed a baby stroller with a napping infant inside it.
Which brought one thing to her processor.
She turned towards Bee and Bulkhead- the two had also decided to tag along with her on 'patrol'- and asked them her question.
"Hey guys, how are humans made?" Mantis asked.
Both blinked, surprised by the sudden question at the same time not. At times, Mantis could be philosophical, calm and logical and others she could ask the most impromptu stuff.
"Isn't it obvious? They....." Bee paused. "They uh........" he fumbled. Then he placed a digit under his chin and wondered. How exactly were humans made? Come to think of it......he didn't know and never bothered to ask.
Bulkhead was just as ignorant. He never really paid much attention to stuff like this so never bothered asking to find out.
And that brought all three Auto Teens to the same basis.
How exactly were humans made?
".......meh, I'm sure the doc bot will know." Bee said waving it off.
Bulkhead and Mantis hummed in agreement. Surely one of the adults would have the answer to their question.
^^*************^^
To their luck, all three of the 'adults'- Optimus, Ratchet and Prowl, were already gathered in the main room. Prowl was on monitor duty, Ratchet was checking his tools and Optimus was no doubt going through reports.
The three of them opted to go to the sanest adult first- Optimus.
"Hey Bossbot, got a click?" Bee asked as they walked over to him.
Optimus looked up from the report he was filing through. "Sure. Need something?" he asked.
"Just an answer to our question." Mantis said.
"Okay, what is it?" Optimus asked, wondering what kind of question all three of them could possibly have.
The three glanced at one another then in unison, spoke their universal question aloud.
"How are humans made?" they all asked innocently.
If the three of them had to describe the look on Optimus's faceplate in one word it would be shocked.
'What the- why is his face the epitome of shooketh?' Mantis wondered, confused. It was just a simple question........right?
"I mean, humans don't have a Well or an AllSpark so how do they make more small humans?" she pressed on.
"Yeah. I mean, they don't just pop outta nowhere, right?" Bee added.
".....Bossbot, you ok? You're lookin' a bit short circuited there." Bulkhead finally pointed out.
That snapped Optimus out of his stupor and he quickly fumbled through his processor for an answer.
"I...uh....well....you see....uh....." Primus, he could feel his faceplate heating up as he remembered what Sari had told him when he once asked a similar question.
The three of them looked at him expectantly.
"You'll.....learn when you're older?" Optimus said.
Another glance shared between them.
"Aren't we old enough already?" Bulkhead asked.
"What are you three doing here?" Ratchet asked, coming over. "Shouldn't you all be out on patrol?"
"Doc, how are humans made?" they asked him instead.
Ratchet paused.
He looked at the Auto Teens.
They stared back, waiting for his answer. Optics ignorantly curious more than anything. For once, even Bumblebee's were devoid of anything to indicate this was any form of a joke.
He looked at Optimus. The Prime just gave him a lost I-don't-know-what-to-do look.
He released a long suffering groan and facepalmed. Oh younglings and their darn attitude and annoying slangs and stupid questions!
"How in the name of Cybertron do you three not know?" he asked through gritted denta.
They all shrugged.
"We're not into science stuff like you." Bulkhead said.
"And we never asked." Mantis added.
"And you never told us." Bee said, throwing in his own two cents.
"Didn't your....creators or guardians ever tell you?" Ratchet asked.
"Uh...../ Um..../ I.....uh....." they all stumbled.
"What's going on here?" Bless Prowl whose voice chimed in and swooped down to the rescue.
"These two can't give us a straight answer to a question." Mantis said, pointing at the two bumbling 'adults'.
'And that question is...?" Prowl asked. Too late, he noticed Optimus and Ratchet had been giving him a warning look/shake of the helm.
"How are humans made?" the question striked again.
Wait.....
Oh.......
OH.
Oh scrap.
'...........scraaaaaaaaaaaaaap.' Prowl thought. Oh Primus, oh sweet pure Primus, why him?!
Then suddenly the realization dawned on him and he felt like smacking himself for not realizing it sooner.
All things considered, Mantis never had a proper parent figure in vorns- much like a maternal one to give a femme like her the....femme talk! Sure she had Drift but he did not count!
He facepalmed and massaged his temples, already feeling a massive processor ache forming. He knew becoming Mantis's only remaining relative/ guardian was not going to be easy but he pictured himself just helping her, guiding her, teaching her what he knew so she could more or less complete her Cyberninja training, help heal any lingering emotional trauma that came from the vorns she spent as an orphan, teach her how to manage her credits and energon not.....give her the talk.
The worst part was that he has to give it to not just her but two more younglings too.
Primus, oh all-knowing benevolent Primus, what sin did he commit to warrant this as punishment?
"Well um....you see..." Prowl coughed as he tried to work up the nerve and the right words to spell it out for them.
Then he realized a loophole.
"We don't know." He said.
"Oh oka- wait....what?!" Bee asked.
"You guys don't know?" Mantis and Bulkhead asked, surprised.
Prowl nodded, managing to keep a straight face. "We don't know how humans do it." He put a servo up to forestall their next question. "And no, I am not telling you how we do it either..........not yet at least." He muttered the last part to himself.
"Aw man." Mantis said.
"I thought you adults knew this kinda stuff." Bulkhead said.
"We aren't walking datapads. You wanna learn, maybe you three should start actually reading em." Ratchet grunted. Internally, he thanked Prowl and swore to be a bit more polite in his bedside manners the next time he gives the ninjabot his check-up.
"What's going on over here?" they all glanced down and noticed Sari standing there, hands on her hips.
"We were just having a discussion." Optimus said.
"About what?" Sari asked.
'Scrap.' The adults thought. Before they could deflect it however.....
"We were asking them how humans were made but they won't spill." Bee said.
Not the first time, they cursed Bee and his motor loud mouth.
"You guys don't know?" Sari asked.
"Sari, maybe we should-"
Too late, the Auto Teens were leaning forward while Sari whispered what they wanted to know into their audio receptors.
3 clicks later, Bee made incoherent choking and gasping and stuttering sounds; Mantis's servos failed to fully conceal her faceplate that was redder than a tomato and Bulkhead looked as though every circuit in his processor got fried....twice.
"You guys never got the talk, didja?" Sari asked.
"I....I'm just....." Mantis fumbled. "Um....thanks Sari."
"I take it the three of you are satisfied with your answer?" Optimus asked.
"I'm.....gonna-go-watch-anime-and-water-my-succulents-now-bye!" Mantis shot off in one breath at a speed that made Bee's look as slow as a snail's in comparison before zooming off to the safety of her room.
"I'M GONNA CONTINUE PATROL!" Bee said, his voice louder and higher than usual before he too zoomed off.
"And I-uh.....gotta go....finish a painting! Yeah!" Bulkhead said before the giant bot stumbled off.
Ratchet still felt the processor ache torturing him even after the three Auto Teens were out of sight. He sighed and massaged his temples.
Younglings were such a hassle at times.