Maybe the most apt description of a marriage is that it isn't beautiful, and it won't be peaceful.
You could know your partner inside and out but they can still hide secrets from you that you could either find peace in never finding out or wait for them to find their way to reveal whatever it is to you.
Zuer knows this but she is also afflicted with the natural need to always know what's wrong and see whether there is anything she can do.
These past days, that curiosity has increased over the fact that Feiyu seems to be more and more introspective and has been escaping within himself much too frequently than she likes.
It felt akin to being with a robot who is as cold as steel but looks and talks like her husband.
On top of this, anxiety is eating away at her heart because the last she had seen him like this was when he was struggling to look for a job because DiDi had exerted his influence to avenge himself on the guy. Feiyu didn't want to burden her and hid the fact that he had resorted to working odd jobs just to support the two of them.
She already tried to talk him into letting her know what has been bothering him but was met with a wall that she hasn't seen in years.
He brushed off every attempt she made thereafter but she is not going to give up.
However, she did ease off the "attacks" over the past days.
Zuer feels that she might be able to catch her husband when his guard is down and he could spill all of his heart's concerns to her.
"Will you be working overtime tonight?", she asked as she prepared his lunch.
"It depends", he answered, busy looking at the mirror to make sure not a hair is out of place, "I'll call you if that's the case."
She plans to cook his favorite dish for dinner and to also buy a few beer cans so they could just unwind at home – something they haven't done in weeks. She'll take their baby to her parent's house and ask them if they can look after the child just for the night so there won't be distractions.
"I hope you get home by eight", she put just enough pleading in her tone, "You've been working so hard lately and I miss being able to talk to you over dinner."
Feiyu managed to look guilty. "Sorry."
"Don't be", she answered solemnly, "I understand you're doing it for us, but I do hope you could come home earlier tonight – even just this once. Please?"
A slow reluctant smile lit his handsome face up and Zuer felt the nerves around her heart being twisted in knots. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE WRONG WITH HIM?
"I'll do my best", he answered, "I'll call you when I can, I promise."
She smiled back at him then. "I'm looking forward to it."
***
"Xin was based in London so I'm familiar with all possible stops you can have and how long your flight is. Why won't you tell me what airline you're taking?", Yue told DiDi over the phone.
"I told you, you don't need to monitor my flight. Besides, I would most probably just be sleeping half the time."
"I also told you that you're not the reason why I would be staying up for most of the night. I'm running after a deadline. I see nothing wrong if I check on you and your plane every now and then since I would be awake", she defended.
"I just don't want you staying up so late. We haven't been able to sleep all too well for a couple of days now."
"I slept well last night."
"Oh yeah", there was a tsk sound on the other line, "You slept on me."
"I slept the moment you said you're already inside your unit."
As they both anticipated, DiDi had stayed over up until dinner yesterday because her mother and brother bombarded him with question after question.
They spared no thought to her dignity when they asked him if he is sure about becoming her boyfriend.
"You told me, we'll sleep at the same time", her boyfriend is now complaining over the phone.
"What time did you sleep?"
"An hour after you slept. I had to made sure I have everything that I need for this trip ."
"OH MY GOD!!!"
"WHAT??? WHY????"
Shen Yue laughed at herself. "Sorry. Sorry. Your sister just messaged me about lunch tomorrow."
"Why did you scream?"
She felt her embarrassment rise. "Because your Mommy's joining us."
He laughed. "Don't tell me you're afraid of Mommy."
She remembered the conversation she and Wang Yu Yan had just yesterday. "I'm not scared", she explained, "But still... the situation is different now. I mean, we used to be at each other's throat before. She might ask me why I'm your girlfriend now."
"Mommy won't ask for an explanation", DiDi assured her, "And besides, she likes you already."
"Are you sure that won't change now that I'm your girlfriend?"
"Hmmmmmm.... where is all this uncertainty coming from? I'm not used to you being like this."
She sighed but she knows that she has to try to make him understand. "Well... things are different now. And besides, I can't help second-guessing myself because, look at you. You're the Wang Corp. Heir. Whoever I am can be a reflection of who you are. I have to make sure that I do not become an embarrassment, especially to your family. What if your parents realize that all I am is just a writer? I'm not an heiress, not even close. We're a mismatch."
If Yue was waiting for him to reassure her with kind words, his reaction could be nothing further from what she had envisioned.
Wang He Di laughed.
"WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU LAUGHING LIKE THAT FOR????" She felt her blood rise to her face.
"Do you want me to flatter you with words that are as a sweet as a rose garden?"
"I'M NOT ASKING TO BE FLATTERED!!!! DIDN'T YOU HEAR WHAT I JUST SAID?!?!"
How in the world did she fall for this guy?
"I heard you", DiDi answered, "And I think you really want me to flatter you."
"I JUST TOLD YOU I DON'T WANT TO BE GIVEN FLATTERY!!!"
The man sighed. "You're kind, intelligent, and beautiful. What will my Mom not like about you? And about being a reflection of mine... you are your own person. I doubt you could last being my reflection for more than five minutes. And there is nothing wrong with that because you are wonderful and lovely all on your own. I won't tire of telling you this BUT don't make a habit of asking me for it. You don't need my validation or anyone else's."
Truly.
He is infuriating.
But somehow what he said IS what she needs to hear.
"I have my weak moments, ok? Especially when it concerns someone important to me."
She hopes he hears what she left unsaid... that it's important for her that people do not question him about his choice of becoming hers.
"Well, stop caring about other people and just care about me."
Yue's heart lurched. He's always had the ability to drill things down into what really matter.
She almost responded by telling him that it's easy for him to say something like that but she paused and internalized what he said.
"You don't get affected by what other people say, don't you?"
"No", he answered firmly, "But what YOU say will affect me."
She could imagine how matter-of-factly he is saying this to her, left brow lifted quizically.
DiDi is a romantic but she has already seen this side of him that sprouts honesty like this nonchalantly, without thinking how much it makes her heart explode.
He most probably must be poker-faced right now, reading the newspaper in the VIP lounge, waiting for his flight, at around this time – and talking to her like she is a business colleague judging by his tone YET it is making her heart race all the more.
"OK", she answered.
There was a chuckle. "OK?"
"Yes", she confirmed, "OK."
"OK what?"
"OK I won't care about what other people will say or think."
"There's a good girl!", she heard a flight announcement in the background, "And what else?"
"Huh??? What do you mean what else???"
"What else is OK?"
Her brows furrowed. "What else should be ok?"
DiDi sighed. "You also have to say "OK I won't ask my boyfriend to flatter me ever again". Go on! Say it!"
"UGH!!!!! DIDN'T I TELL YOU I WAS NOT ASKING FOR YOU TO FLATTER ME!"
His velvet rich laughter rang out. "I'm just kidding. Your brother might think we're breaking up because of how much you're shouting at me."
"I HATE YOU!"
He laughed before letting out a deep sigh. "I really wish you could have just come with me... I already miss you."
And there it is ladies and gentlemen...
Miss Shen Yue's heart has just exploded. Again. Before even twenty-four hours.
"We'll talk every day won't we?", she tried her hardest to make sure her voice sounded even.
"Don't you miss me even a little bit?"
"We were just together yesterday!"
"I already miss you but you don't even miss me."
"WANG HE DI!!!! Aren't you embarrassed asking me something like this while you're out in public??? Don't you have someone near you who will hear this?????"
"So you don't miss me?"
"DO YOU WANT ME TO FLATTER YOU WITH WORDS AS SWEET AS A GARDEN OF ROSES???", she retaliated – using his own words against him.
He sighed audibly. "You really don't miss me right now???"
Deflected like an insect.
The man really knows what to do to hear what he wants.
"OK! OK! I miss you! But just a little bit!"
How he could turn into a sap like this any moment, she might never know.
But she won't deny that it is making her fall for him more.
Seeing so many sides of him yet wanting to see more, Yue knows that her heart is becoming greedy, but she cannot stop herself. He is making her nerves dance.
"Tu me manques."
"What did you say?", she is not sure whether that was Spanish or French.
"Tu. Me. Manques", he repeated, "French."
"Do you even know what that means?", she pouted.
"You're a good researcher, right? I will text it to you and you research it so you can understand it. And then let me know when you find out what it means", the lightness in his voice means he is smiling as he said this, "I just heard them call out for boarding. Don't forget to message me updates, ok?"
"Yes Boss!"
"And you will be the first person I see when I come back, ok?"
"Sure thing Boss!"
"Bye. I'll call you again later."
She was able to just squeeze in a goodbye before he hung the phone up and somehow... Yue had hoped she would hear an "I love you".
But that's absurd, she reminded herself.
They just entered a relationship to get to know more about each other. Saying things like "I love you" would be pre-mature at this point and would lack sincerity for either one of them.
And she's an absolute idiot for hoping to hear it when she wouldn't even say she misses him just a moment ago.
She slapped herself to bring her feet back on earth after floating way up in the clouds and decided to just focus on finding out what the french phrase he said meant.
Apparently, "Tu me manques" could be interpreted as the french saying "I miss you" for lack of a better term.
But actually... it holds more depth.
"Tu me manques" means "You are missing from me".
It is close to saying that without you, I can't function properly... without you, I am incomplete.
Shen Yue thanked the heavens Wang He Di cannot see her the moment she understood what he told her because she is positive her whole body had turned to jelly.
"Stay strong Yue!", she told herself as goosies broke out all over her skin.
He isn't there but dear Lord he is going to be the death of her.
***
Author's Note:
I dedicate today's updates to my muse, my beautiful inspiration, my lovely lovely Shen Yue, who is celebrating her 23rd birthday today.
My only hope is that she continues to shine and be happy and that all of us who find happiness in her also do the same.
I hope you all enjoy these updates my loves.
Hold on to your seats for the next set of updates and remember that... I LAFYUE ALL.
- Mai