Her back had been bandaged and she had wrapped a bandage around her forearm, hiding the awful scars. Liam made sure she felt better and the least pain. They had grown closer and even more fond of each other than before, spending time talking and playing along.
With Pan on the other hand, she felt sometimes a bit nervous, but she was more and more comfortable with him. She tried to think of why she would become so close to him or even want to become closer. Why was she so attracted to the boy? He had done terrible things and yet she already knew that couldn't be an excuse, for she had never seen him as a monster and couldn't bring herself to hate him. Felix knew how she always saw the good in people and had told her once:
"You can't always want everyone to be good, Livy. You know, one day, your good heart will be your doom."he had joked shaking his head.
She wanted to mentally slap herself for having him on her mind all the time. She couldn't stop thinking about that moment in the water how she even considered the thought of it. But he probadly didn't feel the same, I mean he was Peter pan and- yes she forgot. Peter pan loves Wendy.
Did you just say love????
NO! I mean yes but no I'm not saying I love Peter pan, it's weird! Pff noo.
Sure.
Oh shut up. Of course I don't love this guy, Why am I even talking about it?! It's ridiculous!! I don't.
Liar liar p-
Don't try to get me to say it coz I won't!
Fine. It's not for me to find out anyway. You're the one in love with him so deal with it, I won't help you.
Now that's mean. You could help m- seriously?! Ugh why am I even arguing with myself...
She groaned and blinked back to the cliff for another lesson of magic. Pan was waiting for her with a smirk plastered on his face.
"Look who finally decided to show up."
She scowled at him but didn't answer. They practised a few spells and then magic for fighting.
Now they were both in the contest, their hand extended before them, both forces crashing into each other. Who would win. She was extremely focused and so was he. Suddenly Olivia pushed harder, calling inner strength, his wanted to win this. The force that came out of her was insane, crashing into the boy and Peter was pulverized further away and crashed into a tree, the force was so powerful he remained unmoving. Olivia's heart dropped as his name escaped her lips, barely a whisper "Peter..." she blinked to him and knelt beside his body. A trail of blood came out of his temple.
Olivia gasped "oh my God, Peter wake up please I'm so sorry!! What did I do?!"
Her breathing hitched in her throat. Was he dead? She checked. And checked again. And again. There. There was a small breath. The force had been so great all air had been cut from him when he had slammed into the tree so brutally.
Tears blurred her vision and she rested his head on her lap stroking his forehead. She tore the end of her shirt around the waist and wiped the blood slowly.
"Peter please wake up you're scaring me."
He didn't budge, pale. Fear struck her and she then realised how she could not loose him, ever. And why. All this time she had wondered when actually the answer was so evident:
She realised she had fallen for the green eyed boy, not his dark side, but she knew she could bring back the good side of him. She had to. Yes she had fallen for this boy, and man, she had fallen hard.
"You have to wake up, Peter."
She suddenly realized she could probably use magic. She pressed her hand on his forehead and gathered more magic. It hurt, she knew the healing brought pain to the one healing, but she couldn't let him die like that. She made the energy travel through her veins and holding his hand, she made it travel through him. She fought the undeniable tiredness and the numbness attacking her body and brain.
She gasped at the end of it, overwhelmed and waited. Nothing. A sob escaped her lips and her hand reached for her mouth, choking back more tears. She called out his name again and again.
"PETER WAKE UP PLEASE!! FELIX!! FELIX!!!"she yelled sobbing. The blond boy arrived and opened wide eyes.
"Livia, what the hell happent?!
"It's my fault! I did this to him!! Felix he can't die!! He cannot die please help me save him!"her voice broke and she finished in a whisper shaking her head "please... I can't loose him."
Felix nodded and she blinked him to his tent, laying him on the bed. She sat next to it and waited, refusing to let go of his hand. Once more, there she was, anxiously waiting for hin to wake up. But this time it was entirely her fault. Liam stormed in and rushed to hug his sister.
"You're gonna be okay, Liv, he'll wake up, you'll both be fine. "
She nodded and went back to waiting, waiting and waiting.
She spent the day hating herself for this, blaming her stupidity and clumsiness. Felix stayed with her at first then he left. She was alone, anxious and angry at herself.
"You're not leaving me Peter. Ever! You promised me! And you said you always kept your promises."
The evening came, and she was still there, feeling like she had been waiting forever. Her eyelids grew heavier, but she resisted the urge to fall asleep once, twice, three times... and then they were so heavy she started dozing off. She woke up in a start and rubbed her eyes to stay awake.
Suddenly, a grunt. Pan moved, with a groan. Olivia jumped with a gasp as he opened his eyes.
He shifted position, trying to set up. A huge grin appeared on her lips
"Peter you're awake!!!!!"
He didn't have time to say anything as she tackled him in a hug, holding onto him like she never wanted to let go, ever. He hugged back with a small chuckle.
"You okay there Olivia?
"You scared me, again!!! I thought you were dead and it was all my fault!! I did this to you!
"Hey it's okay -
"No!! It's not okay Peter!! You could have died!! You can't leave me do you hear?! Ever!! I can't lose you!!"
His eyes widened at the sudden outburst. She pulled away and wiped the tears quickly.
"You need to rest now, Peter. You hit the tree pretty bad. "
He nodded and sat up but she shook her head
"Oh hell no, you are not standing up. You need to rest.
"I'm fine now, Olivia"he grumbled but she glared at him
"You really think I'm just going to let you walk around after you almost died?! No no no, uh uh. I don't think so. Now you lay down and you sleep! Got it?!"
He rose an eyebrow at her.
"Don't you get bossy with me lost girl. I can take care of myself."
She pushed him back and hissed.
"Don't make me restrain you Peter pan. You are getting that rest of yours right now. "
He reached for his head and hissed as his fingers pointed exactly on the nasty gash. Fever made sweat prickle his forehead. She stroked it gently,
"ssh get some sleep now you've got fever. Just sleep. For once, let someone take care of you. Let me take care of you."
His eyes closed and he fell asleep. She smiled at how innocent he looked when he was sleeping. She made herself comfortable on the chair and let the night pass. She fell into slumber, dozing off.
Felix had come in before, just an hour after he had woken up and sat with her.
After a long silence he spoke up.
"Is there something you'd like to tell me?"he said carefully. Olivia turned to him, with a questioning look on her face.
"What about?
"I don't know..."he said rubbing the back of his head.
"I mean you're... you seem pretty attached to Pan so I was wondering if.. you know... you finally admitted that ...
"That what?"she said quickly, too quickly.
He shrugged
"No forget it."
She sighed, after a few seconds and inhaled a deep breath.
"...That I have feelings for Peter?"she said in a whisper. Felix jumped and snapped his head towards his friend as a grin stretched his lips.
"You do?! Really?! I mean you're not joking?! You really have f-"
She cut him off, pressing her hand against his mouth with wide eyes.
"Be quiet!!!!"she whispered yelled glancing at Peter.
Felix nodded and then said.
"Does he know?
"Of course not! And he cannot know, he won't."
Felix opened wide eyes
"What?! Why not?! Livy no, you have to tell him! It's important he has to know th-
"I can't Felix! I can't. I just realised it and I know he doesn't feel the same.
"No you don't. You don't know that. You have to tell P-
"We are not meant to be, okay?!"she snapped, her voice trailed off.
"It's not how it should be. Peter is in love with Wendy, that's how the story goes. I'm not in the story. I'm nobody. Wendy is so sweet and amazing she's just what Peter needs. I'm not."she said shaking her head.
When Felix was about to protest she said.
"Just look at him. He's hurt. I almost killed him. And I can't bear the idea of him dying, I can't. Besides I don't want to get in the way..
"Livy you're completely missing the point! Wendy is not Pan's true love. Never was! She never loved him! He-
"Felix I'm so sorry, but I can't. I want him to be happy and I'm pretty positive that means without me."
Felix wanted to yell in frustration. Both loved each other but both thought they would make the other unhappy and now he had them both mourning over it. She didn't even know about Wendy. No, Wendy certainly wasn't Pan's true love. Never was nor never would be. He was in the middle if this, with no power to get then together, get them to see sense. Olivia sighed and sent a tight smile towards her friend.
"It's okay, Felix. It's all okay."she repeated as he stared at her with pity. He sighed and after a few minutes he exited the tent.
And now there she was, thinking all this through sleep catching her in its arms. Her face rested on the mattress, in her folded arm.
She fell asleep for about two hours when she felt her hand being gripped abruptly and squeezed hard. Her eyes opened, she was still very tired but she realised Pan had grabbed her hand in his sleep, as he seemed to be going through a very bad dream.
He began shifting and groaning, sweat prickling down his forehead and his eyebrows furrowed.
"Hey hey hey, it's okay, Peter it's okay, it's only a dream..."
He didn't listen and she squeezed his hand trying to comfort him when suddenly she felt a force pulling her, in her mind, like to connect her to his mind. She resisted at first but then let it pull her. Her eyes turned orange, she sucked in a breath. Everything around her faded to black and she gasped as she suddenly crashed to the ground. More precisely, in the snow.
Again. She was lying on her stomach, and looked up, lips slightly parted, and confusion evident on her face.
The young girl scrambled up to her feet as the cold air wrapped her in its freezing cloak. She shivered, white smoke coming out at every exhaled breath. Shaking with the cold, she looked around.
"Peter?! Peter??"
She walked on to a lit house and recognized the place where she had seen that little boy. She suddenly heard yells and screaming in the cold night. Gutrending screams and sobs. It belonged to a kid.
Olivia turned around the corner and squinted her eyes. There he was. The little boy. He was the one screaming.
"NOOO MOMMY!! DON'T LEAVE ME!!!!! DON'T LEAVE MEEE!!!!!!!!!"
She watched as the woman tore herself from him with disgust and pushed him away.
He ran back to her, gripping to her arms, her hands, anything that could help him hold on to his mother. Olivia walked towards them. The little boy continued to yell and sob when a man grabbed his small arm, tearing him away from his mother.
"NOOOOOO!!!!!! MOMMY!!!!!!!! PLEAASE DON'T LEAVE MEEEE!!! I NEED YOU !! MOMMYYYYY!!!!!!!"his voice broke into a sob as he thrashed from the iron grip the man held on him. The woman scattered away quickly, not even looking back, if not to shoot him a glare of disgust and disapproval. Tears welled up in Olivia's eyes as she watched everything. The man then got fed up with the kid and sent a violent blow across the kid's face. The little boy yelped and went rolling in the snow, a crestfallen expression plastered on his features. His eyes watched his mother stride away.
"Mommy..."he whispered in a broken voice, tears rolling down his little face. Olivia's heart broke into pieces and she suddenly realised who the little boy was.
Or more like she guessed and knew it was him. Peter pan. That was a memory of his childhood. She watched as the man then grabs him by the collar and throws him towards the house yelling at him to get up and get inside.
Olivia wanted to scream in protest but it suddenly changed when she entered the house. It was another memory but a few years later. She waited a moment as nothing happent, until a slammed door made her jump and she whipped her head around.
"YOU FILTHY BRAT!! GET HERE THIS INSTANT!!"the man was yelling.
He walked to another door, his room.
Olivia ran to it, standing in the doorway shaking her head.
"No, no!"she yelled but of course the man could not see her. This was the past. It had already happent. Her eyes widened in horror as the man scattered his way with a big rough stick in his hand. The boy looked now about 10. He was curled up in his bed, terrified, unable to utter a word and simply watching the man striding furiously to him.
He lifted his arm holding the stick and suddenly brought it down violently, hitting the poor child hard. Again and again and again. Olivia screamed and tried to stop it but there was nothing she could do.
Tears welled up in her eyes at the poor kid trying to shield his body from the blows. Olivia looked away, a hand on her mouth. A long moment later the man left. The young girl rushed to the kid. He lay there, unmoving, completely covered in bruises and there was blood staining his shirt.
Scene changed and she watched him pushing away his, apparently, 'father' and running away as fast as he could and as far as he could. Olivia quickly took off after him, glaring at the man as she ran past him. They ran for a long time and she could see other memories. Him on the road, tired, hungry, exhausted.
She froze as now she watched older Peter being rejected wherever he went, and then him arriving on Neverland. She saw the trade, which she disapproved off and yet there was still a part of her, understanding why all this happent. There were so many memories flowing around her. She then felt a squeeze on her hand, and looking down she saw the little boy, holding her hand and dragging her along a path in the jungle. Little Peter showed her older Peter, he was on the beach. There was a girl there. A beautiful young girl with gold hair and blue eyes. She looked very intimidated and shy.
Olivia knew who this was.
Wendy Darling.
She watched on. Peter talking to her and then leading her to camp. The lost boys were there, looking at her with amazement and shock. They hadn't seen a girl for a very long time. Wendy greeted them with an adorable smile but the boys remained defiant.
"Boys, this is Wendy. The first girl to ever set foot onto the island."
The boys stared at her with a small nod, unsure of how they should adress to the lady.
Then it all passed quickly, like a flash.
She saw the way Peter looked at the girl. Tenderness and ... love? She saw how she quickly bonded with a few lost boys. She noticed how much Peter was in love with that girl but what struck her was how close he seemed to be with her. He still was reckless in many ways, punishing very severely and playing ruthless games but he showed the island to Wendy, taking her to so many places, building a tree house for her. Everytime she thanked him with a graceful smile, but she didn't look tender at all. Just grateful and friendly. Olivia was surprised and shocked to see that Wendy Darling was not at all in love with Peter pan. She was adorable and attaching but she highly disapproved the ways used by the boy, and on that Olivia couldn't agree more but the difference was how she showed it. Wendy sent him sad looks and of disapproval. She would walk away from him, and even yell at him once, calling him monster.
And yet, she noticed how Webdy really seemed to actually like Peter or at least it looked as though she did. It took her a few seconds to realise that Wendy was playing with the boy to get what she wanted. Surprisingly, Pan seemed to fall for it. Olivia's fists clenched so hard her knuckles were white.
She recognized the little wooden bird he made for her. She had the surname of Little bird, since she arrived flying on the island, in her long white nightgown, making her look like a flying bird.
Olivia's eyes widened as the memories went on. Wendy seemed very close to one of the lost boys. Cedric. They were cute together, and were obviously in love. Peter noticed some time after when he saw them kiss in the jungle. Her heart squeezed in her chest at the broken look, filled with betrayal, deceit and shock.
It was very soon replaced by anger, rage, and hatred. Towards Cedric in particular. She shook her head.
______
"Look at you two. So adorable. But Cedric, you broke the rule, didn't you?"
_______
"Pan let him be, please we did nothing wrong!
"Nothing wrong? Nothing wrong??!" He was close to her now. His eyes turned darker as he suddenly tackled her against a tree.
"I trusted you!"he growled. "You betrayed me! All this time you were just pretending! You're nothing but a filthy hypocrite and a liar. "
She struggled and pushed him back with fear and anger.
"You know nothing. You have no idea what truly goes on around you. None of this is wrong. It was nothing concerning you."
His eyes grew even darker.
"I cared about you, Wendy. You made me believe that you cared about me too! All these moments, you just wanted me to favor you so you could slip right past me and go to him! I was fool enough to trust you. To believe you. Not anymore. I won't make the same mistake twice.
"No! Your mistake was to to believe you could actually love someone. You can't! I'm sorry Pan, I didn't mean to have you believe all this but I love Cedric, not you! Yes, you were kind to me lost of the time and I'm grateful but-
"But what?"he said his voice ice cold. She jumped slightly, fear in her eyes. Cedric wrapped a protective arm around her. Pan chuckled darkly and his eyes were now pitch black.
"Just leave us alone Pan."he grumbled.
"You don't know what it is to love someone so I su-"Cedric was instantly cut off by a huge force slamming him against a tree, all air knocked out of his lungs. Wendy screamed out in fear.
Pan blinked before Cedric.
"You forget all the things I taught you, lost boy. You know I don't take these things lightly. "
Wendy was crying now and she suddenly gripped to Pan's arm, trying to make him change his mind.
"Pan, please! I'm sorry I'm so sorry! Just leave him alone."
Pan turned to her darkly.
"No you're not sorry, Wendy. You are nothing but a filthy liar and deceitful person.
"And you are nothing but a monster Peter pan! Do you hear?! You are a monster!!"she yelled with her high pitched voice. Pan growled darkly and said with something else in his voice
"I cared about you Wendy. Very much. In fact I loved you. I would've done anything for you yesterday. But today, there's nothing. Nothing but deceit and well,... yes, darkness."
At the same time he plunged his hand in Cedric's chest and ripped out his heart. Wendy tackled her hands to her mouth with a gasp and tears in her eyes shaking her head. Cedric's face was red and scrunched up with utter pain. He locked eyes with Wendy and shook his head.
"Pan don't do this!! Stop it!!!! Don't be that demon you said you had in you!!!!!! Stop this!!! Let him live!!! "
Pan ignored her and crushed the heart in between his fingers. Wendy screamed and the body collided with the floor.
"Well, looks like you're alone." Pan said and then growled "Just like me."
"You are a demon, Peter pan. Nothing more! You always were and I hate you!! Yes, I did use you to get what I wanted but hey, you fell for it! Yes I never cared for you! How could I ?! You're just a monster, a monster who cannot love and cannot be loved. You don't even know how to! I despise you."she spat.
A flash of pain had passed in his eyes for a few seconds that only Olivia noticed and she clenched her fists so hard.
"The bitch..."she muttered. She didn't approve of Pan's actions but she hated that he had been played like that.
Pan then looked away, jaw clenched.
A shadow came and grabbed Wendy's wrist, dragging her away, far away from the island. He watched as the girl he had loved disappeared with all the hate she had for him. His heart was broken. It hurt. So much. Wendy was then completely out of sight and Peter pan sank to his knees, his hands to his head and looking up to the sky he yelled his guts out. The yell struck Olivia like a dagger in the heart, she stumbled back, tears welled up in her eyes, as if she felt his pain. All the dark memories came playing before her eyes once more. Wendy yelling at him and playing with him, the kill, the hard years of wandering in the land, then the little boy started running away on the beach. Olivia took off after him, yelling his name but she froze as the stepfather grabbed him by the collar and started beating him up. Peter yelled in pain, trying to tear himself out of the iron grip, in vain.
Suddenly all of it disappeared and Olivia found herself back in the tent, with a thrashing Peter. He was out of his bed, struggling against an invisible person. Olivia gasped
"Peter stop! Stop! It's me, hey it's me Olivia!!"
He didn't hear her so she shook him awake. His eyes snapped open and he looked around, lost and terrified. Olivia was crying too, and she instantly wrapped her arms around him and sank to the floor with him, keeping him close to her.
"It's okay Peter. I'm here. I won't let you go. It's all the past. Shhhhh "she soothed him. He seemed to be well woken up now but she never expected this to happen. Peter pan started crying. And crying. A sob even left his mouth. Even more painful, the young girl could feel the tears flowing from her eyes as well.
"You're okay, Peter,"she said in a cracking voice "you're okay. I'm with you. "
Then she whispered
"And I won't EVER let you go. I'll always be there for you.
Always.
I swear. "
Her hands stroked his hair gently, messing them a little but she just stayed there with him, even on the floor. She knew he needed that moment of weakness, of breaking down. He needed to let it out. She hated all the things that had been done to him. All the years of being beaten up after his mother abandonned him. Then the escape and the hard years. And the heartbreak. The feeling of being a monster given by the person he loved and believed to be loved by in return.
The young girl wished she could punch a few people in the face. She understood now what made him what he was, how they pushed his darkest side to come out.
She kissed the top of his head and continued to keep him against her.
She had no idea how long they stayed like that but she did not mind in the world. Seeing all these memories had actually confirmed it to herself of how much she loved him. She was surprised to realise how much she loved that boy who was not monster to her. No. He was a heartbroken boy, who lost himself in the darkness.
About two hours later, he was back in his bed, and she stayed beside it, holding his hand and her other hand stroking his forehead gently.
Just before he fell asleep she whispered.
"I won't ever forget about this.
But don't worry, it remains between you.. and me."then she bent and kissed his forehead.
She knew the morning would be very different but she didn't care. She made the most of that precious and intimate moment.
She knew much more about Peter pan and unlike Wendy, it didn't repulse her. On the contrary, it reinforced the love she felt for him and the urge she felt to protect and care for him.
And that, she would.