Georgia's POV
After 2 weeks of this, I was finally feeling like I could one day be happy again. In my own skin, with everything that had happened to me, I could still find happiness.
I wasn't there yet, but I was getting closer and closer each day.
Pat had been wonderful. Taking care of me the whole time.
My bruises had almost completely healed. Which just left the damage that was done to me mentally.
I had been sleeping at my house for the past week but going to Pat and Marcus's as much as I could for dinner to keep myself entertained.
I wasn't going back to work for a while so the days were spent at home, trying to keep myself occupied. With Pat constantly dropping in to bring me things and make sure I was okay.
Josh had gone back home a few days ago. And I was feeling alright about it. Obviously I never wanted him to leave. I wish he lived closer to me. But I was coping better than I thought I would.
Everyone was still really worried about me but I assured them that I would be fine. I tried to tell them how I felt. Always trying to assure them that they didn't need to watch over me 24/7.
But ultimately, there was no stopping that. They were all too caring for their own good. Especially the boys.
It was just the times where I would accidentally revise everything that happened that night. Everything they did to me. It ran through my head and I had no control over it.
It mostly happened during the night. I would shoot up out of my bed and start having a panic attack. I would try and calm myself down, so I didn't have to call Pat. But it never worked.
It always ended with me ringing his number and holding it to my ear as my breathing hitched and I choked on my tears.
I wish I could stop it from happening because it was the only thing not allowing me to be happy.
More importantly, it was hurting Pat. And I knew that. He didn't know that I knew. But I do. All my calls, all my problems, it was disrupting him and his life.
All I wanted to do was get over it. But there were so many things stopping me from getting to that stage.
So I continued to rely on him, as much as it hurt me to do. I just had to hope that he wouldn't take it too far.
The last thing I needed after all that had happened was Pat in trouble.
Because even after my tears had dried and my wounds healed, my sense of self remained in tatters.
I felt like a distortion of what I once was, unable to find my way back. Each day was a thing in itself, I didn't dwell in the past or look to the future.
My loved ones wanted me back. They wanted the same girl they loved before, the girl who brought them sunshine. How could I tell them those rays just weren't there? That I was barely there?
The doctor prescribed pills, the counsellor listened and had all the right words. But I had to accept that I would be a different person from here on in.
That person would be more cautious, less trusting of strangers, more fearful. Had put imaginary walls up inside of me, trying to protect myself from all sorts of pain.
Those walls were previously up already but now, they were protecting a different type of pain and emotions. Physical pain and trauma. Something I hadn't endured until now.
Everyday for the 2 weeks, I had seen Pat as he came over to take care of me. I was starting to get worried about him and how much he was visiting me.
He had been telling me that he had just been at training every time he came over. Yet he didn't seem to look like it.
Like he thought I was stupid. I knew something was up the first time it happened.
I had known him his whole footy career, seen all the games, seen him countless times after training. And not once did he walk in and look the way he looked when he came over now.
I couldn't let him jeopardise his career just because I felt safe with him. It wasn't about me anymore. I had to be strong for my sake, and for his.
I was an adult. I could learn to feel safe on my own. I would have to eventually anyway. I couldn't hide behind the protective barrier that was my best friend.
The charges had been pressed. The people who did it had been found. They weren't going to do this to anyone else, it wasn't going to happen again. That's what I had to remind myself every time I had a panic attack about it. It was all over. Except it wasn't.
I was almost ready for the time where I would leave the house again. It had taken me a while but I had no pressure pushing me to do something I didn't want to. I had to push myself soon because otherwise I could never carry on.
In a weeks time, I was determined to attend Pat's next game. It was a big event, heading to a game at the G. But I was going to ease into it with many trips outside until then.
The game was my first time seeing Darcy since we broke up. He was playing against Pat and I was terrified of how it would go down.
Darcy had only been suspended for a pathetic 10 weeks which meant he was well and truely back now. I was just praying for nothing like what happened last time. I couldn't handle anymore emotional trauma.
As I lay on the spare bed at Pat and Marcus' house, I played with the dogs as a Friday night game played on the screen in front of me.
Marcus was the only one home because Pat was at training. We were going to hangout here for the night. Hopefully distracting me as I had been bored out of my mind all day.
I had been spending as much time as I could with family but ultimately, Pat was the person I had been seeing most often.
When the pressure of my day is inside me, not like a tangled knot but like a ticking bomb, I needed to let it explode somewhere safe.
I need to go somewhere it can't do lasting damage - and that's why I have Pat. That's why he has me.
When I need to vent I call him up and he knows what's coming. It isn't an exchange, well, not in the same session. I get to yell my lungs out and he nods along in the right places.
There was kindness in his smile, a gentleness. It was the smile of one who laughed with ease and saw person under the behaviour, a soul-connector.
He was the kind of person who lived how he believed people should. He only saw the best aspects of those he met, their flaws entirely invisible to his gaze.
That's why I loved him so much. Because just seeing his face could cheer me up completely.
I was happy to hear the front door shut because that meant he was home from training.
I got off of the bed that I was napping on earlier. I began to walk around the corner to greet Pat. But I stopped when I heard Pat talking with such frustration.
I hid behind the wall but I had clear view of them in the kitchen.
"I don't know what to do. I'm falling behind. I don't even know if they will let me play" he said to Marcus as he leaned over the bench.
"We can alternate mate. We have training on different days. One of us will stay here while the other does what they need" Marcus suggested trying to calm him down.
"You know I can't do that" Pat told him standing back up and pacing back and forth.
I walked around the corner slowly and stood meters away from them.
"What's going on?" I interrupted.
I didn't intend to be nosy. But I knew it had something to do with me. In fact, it probably had everything to do with me. And they were both acting strangely about it.
"Oh hey George" Pat said surprised that I was in the room.
"What were you guys talking about?" I asked as I crossed my arms. One of them would give in. They always did.
"Nothing much" Marcus said joining in.
"So I was thinking we could cook some dinner and just watch movies tonight, what do you think?" He asked as he came over to where I was standing.
"Yeah sure" I said still very confused, but dropping it to prevent an argument starting.
"Okay great, I'll go get changed and I'll be back" he said happily.
As soon as he left the room to get changed, I marched over to Marcus in a huff. I stood beside him as he looked down at me nervously.
"Marcus I know you don't like lying to me. Now tell me what you were talking about" I pleaded to him.
He didn't hesitate. The look on his face told me he was about to spit it out.
"George, Pat has been skipping training. He's been telling you he has the day off but he's lying. And now he doesn't know if he'll play this week" Marcus told me.
I stepped back in shock. It was everything I thought and more. Everything I didn't want to hear him say, he said. And I didn't know what to do about it.
"Why would he do that" I said shaking my head in disbelief.
"He's been so worried about you. I try and reason with him, he just won't let me help" he tried to comfort me but all I felt was guilt.
"So what should we eat? I was thinking fish, but I know you don't like fish George" he rambled on whole entering the kitchen again.
He stopped talking when he saw the somber expression on my face and the worried look on Marcus's.
"Pat what have you done" I said looking him in the eyes.
"Marcus" he spat out at Marcus beside me. Looking at him frustratedly for telling me.
"Mate she needed to know" he tried reason with him. But I knew Pat was disappointed that I found out.
Which really hurt me even more. I wished that he could have told me. But I understood his intentions. Even if I didn't agree with them.
I walked over to Pat slowly thinking of what to say to him. I wasn't mad, of course I wasn't. But he couldn't do what he was doing any longer. It wasn't right.
"I can't believe you did this to yourself" I said as I stood in front of him. I looked him in the eyes but I could tell the eye contact bothered him.
"George it's okay. I'll catch up" he said, brushing it off.
"No, it's not. Pat I needed you and you were there for me. And I'm so grateful that you were. But you cannot jeopardise your career to try and make me feel better" I said as I held onto his hand.
"I couldn't let you feel worse than you did. You need me here. I want to help you" he said squeezing my hand gently.
"You made everything easier for me Pat. Now you have to stop worrying about me okay? Please promise me you will" I begged him.
"Okay" he replied hesitantly, as I snuck into his arms for a hug.
"Good. Now let's watch something, because I'm so bored" I told them and went to flop on the couch with Pat by my side.
The three of us settled on the couch and watched some TV. The boys did ice recovery while I sat back and enjoyed myself.
I was glad to have sorted out everything I needed to with Pat. Knowing he was going to train properly now that he wasn't going to worry as much, it made me so much happier.
He was still going to worry. They all were. But there was a certain level of worrying that had stopped him from doing the thing he loves. And I would be a horrible best friend if I let him do that any longer.
Now I was even closer to that end goal. Where I could finally be myself again.
...........
A/N
It's Grand Final day and I am beyond excited! Best day of the year! Hoping the Cats get over the line this year, probably not but I will enjoy the day as it is!
I hope you're all as happy for George as I am! She's come so far already! Feeling better each day, all with Pat's help of course!
I hope you're enjoying these chapters! I can't wait for you all to read the rest of Georgia and Pat's story!
Please vote and comment if you did enjoy! I would really appreciate the support!
Cheers everyone x