Billies POV
Being with y/n has been one of the best experiences ever, I love this girl so much but I'm scared that if I tell her she'll get freaked out I know all about her past and it all stared with saying I love you I've tried convincing her that I'm not like that and I'll never be she knows that I'm not like that but she's just scared.
"Whatcha thinkin' about"
I didn't realize I was zoned out till y/n spoke
"You"
She chuckled
I have to say it but I'm so scared of the Consequence.
"Okay I'm about to say something and you don't have to say anything back but I need you to know this we've been together for a while now and I just can't keep it inside anymore"
"Go ahead"
"I love you"
"Really are you sure"
"Why wouldn't I be"
"Are u sure we've been together long enough for you to actually know that you love me"
"We've been together for a year and a half do u not want me to love you"
"Yes of course I want you to I just think you think that you do when u don't"
"You don't know how I feel"
"No but I know what fake love feels like"
That broke me.
"You think our love is fake"
"No..billie"
"Save it"
I walked out of our bedroom and upstairs to the spare room
I knew she wouldn't be ready for it but she really thinks all of that, how can she say our love is fake.
Your POV
I love Billie I think...i don't even know anymore I want to I want her to love me and she does I'm just scared, love hurts it's always been bad with me, my past relationships have been hell Billie doesn't even know that half of it she thinks she does because last time I told one of my ex's about this they said I deserve it and that if I didn't "love them" they would do it over and over again.
Every time I've ever heard love that's what I think about. Getting hurt that's all that ever happens to me....but billies different she's never done anything to hurt me and I know she never well she's so amazing and plus she's been hurt in relationships to but I just don't think she understands, whenever I got told someone loves me they would always hurt me physically and emotionally...I hate that word it reminds me of how I was never good enough.
I decided to go upstairs and talk to billie.
I knocked on the door multiple times but she didn't answer so I just opened it.
Billie was sitting up on the bed wrapped in a blanket her eyes were red and puffy.
"Aww Baby I'm sorry"
I walked over and tried hugging her but she just pushed me away.
"Can you just leave me alone"
"I need to talk to you"
"I'm done talking to you"
"Billie please"
She rolled her eyes and moved over so I could sit next to her.
"Can you stop pouting and look at me"
"UGHH"
She sat up and looked at me, I put my arms out so she would hug me but she wasn't going for it.
"Look billie you think you know everything about my last relationship but you don't I'm scared that's why I wouldn't say it back I'm scared of-
"Of what commitment"
"Ye-yes"
"why"
"Because love as you see it isn't how i see it anymore"
Billie looked confused
"As you know I've told you about my past relationships well there's a lot more you don't know like how he use to say the only way to love is if you do what I say and that loving me was the biggest mistake he's ever made, there's more, he would say love is nothing when with me, *SA* me is the only way he would actually become an actual boyfriend, that's why I've always been scared to have sex with you because I still have scars and cuts everywhere"
"Im scared to say I love you because I don't want that to happen again"
"I would never hurt you EVER, you're so perfect you didn't deserve any of that, it makes me sad as hell to know someone would ever say that to you"
"I shouldn't have said it I knew you weren't ready"
"I'm just scared I'm sorry"
"No it's okay take your time I don't want to pressure you"
"Thank you"
I pulled y/n into a hug and kiss her forehead.
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Word count 781
Ily 🦋