john's little eyebrow raise in this gif is everything
++|++
John didn't come back to the flat until way after Roxy got home from work - it must have been around nine and when he did, she was reading a book with David Bowie playing in the background.
She looks up as he comes through the front door, giving her a little wave before he makes his way through to the bedroom and she hears him drop his shoes to the floor with a thud.
She doesn't follow straight away though. No - she waits a little bit, trying to work out the best way she can tell him that she won't be able to go with him to America.
She'd asked when she got to work about the holidays that she was entitled to and Danny said exactly what she thought he'd stay - she had some to use but he wouldn't let her take it all in one big chunk. Besides, she'd sat down when she'd gotten home and did the maths and as she thought, it just wouldn't be feasible.
Of course, Roxanne could be worrying about nothing because John hasn't even asked her to go yet and he might not. Though Roger had asked Rebecca and she was sure he'd probably ask her sometime tonight.
She finally gets up from the couch and both Caper and Amos are quick to leap up and take her spot, making her glare at the two of them, "Would you jump in my grave as quick?"
John's laying starfished on the bed, peeking one eye open as she enters the room and he smiles at her, "Hiya,"
"Hi," she murmurs and she suspects that maybe they've had a bit more than the champagne from this morning, "You alright?"
He nods, "I know what you're thinking, love but I only had a couple."
"I'm not thinking anything," Roxy shrugs, a smile tugging at her lips as he pats the small space beside him.
"Come lay with me."
He looks so comfortable and warm so she doesn't resist and John scoots over so she's got some more room and when she's curled up beside him, he kisses her forehead.
They lie silently for a few minutes before Roxy peers up at him, seeing that he's staring intently at the ceiling.
"What are you thinking about?" she whispers, feeling guilty that she'd disturbed the silence.
He shrugs, "Can't quite believe that this is going to be our life. That we're going to America to play our music for people."
"You better believe it," she giggles, "It's happening!"
He grins and they fall silent again and John plays with the ends of her hair.
"Roger has asked Becca to come," he mumbles a little bit later and Roxy's fingers still where she's trailing them up and down his arm, "And Freddie's asked Mary of course...do you want to come?"
She turns and presses her forehead against his side, closing her eyes as he laughs.
"Rox, what are you doing?"
She wants to go. Of course she does but at this exact moment in time, it's just not possible and she doesn't want to tell him no because he's so excited and she knows that it's going to break his heart.
"Hey," John gently lifts her chin, frowning when he sees her torn expression, "Hey, what's wrong? Do-do you not want to come?"
She shakes her head, "It's not that, John. It's not. I just- I can't. I can't afford-"
"The ticket? Is that what you're worried about? Don't, the label said that they'll take care of all that." he smiles and she shakes her head.
"I still can't go, John."
"Why not?" he pulls back and sits up, prompting her to do the same.
"I have a job," she begins, toying the with blankets, "This flat won't pay for itself, no matter how good a deal Freddie managed to get me. And I have Casper and Amos. I can't just leave, they'll think I've abandoned them."
He doesn't look at her, "But this is the biggest thing to happen to us, this is important."
"I know," she whispers, crawling to the opposite side of the bed where he's now sat, "I know it is and if there was some way I could work everything out so I could come, I would but I...I can't. I have too much..."
He's quiet, so quiet but she knows that it's just the booze he's had but she doesn't expect him to get up from the bed and start to pull his shoes back on.
"Where are you going?" she asks, feeling her eyes burn, "John?"
"'m...I'm gonna go for a walk," he mumbles, "I need some air."
"John," she pleads as he heads for the door, "John, please. I-"
"It's alright," he finally looks at her.
"I'm sorry," she whispers and he gives her a weak smile before letting the bedroom door slam shut behind him.
++|++
John didn't return to the flat that night. Instead, he stayed at Roger and Brian's, on the same couch he was on with Roxanne that same morning except this time, he was alone.
He wakes up to Roger stood by said couch, arms crossed with a less than impressed glare on his face.
"Morning," John says tentatively.
"Morning," Roger's tapping his foot, "Care to tell me why we had a very worried phone call from Nessie? Why she's telling me to tell you that she's sorry?"
John sits up and sees that Rebecca is sat in the armchair sipping some coffee and she raises an eyebrow, "Have you fallen out?"
"No!" John says quickly and Roger narrows his eyes, "I mean, you could barely call it a fight."
"What happened?"
Shaking his head, John runs a hand through his hair, "She can't come to America with us. She has too much going on and it...it was me, I was a complete and utter idiot."
"I can believe that," Roger mutters, "But you've made her upset and so, as her cousin, I'm going to have to punch you."
Rebecca rolls her eyes, "Don't be ridiculous, Roger."
"He upset her!"
"And look at him! He obviously feels awful about it!"
"Fine," Roger is very reluctant but lets it go, "She's at work by the way."
"Thanks."
Before he goes anywhere, he has to go back to Roxanne's flat to have a shower and get changed. He's been wearing the same clothes for two days now.
As he approaches the diner, he starts to get nervous. Was what they had a fight? All he knows is that he'd made her upset and that was enough to make him feel awful.
Pushing the door open and the first thing he sees is Mary and Kayla sat in a booth with some milkshakes and he gives them a wave before scanning the establishment for Roxanne.
She's stood behind the counter which isn't unusual for this time of day but what is unusual is that there's a little boy sat on it, next to the till and Roxy's showing him which buttons to press when someone orders something and she watches with a smile as he climbs down and runs to put the paper with the order on it on the little spike for the cook.
John waits patiently for her to notice him, giving her a small smile as the little boy returns over to a booth where his parents are watching, "Hi."
"Hey," she mumbles.
He takes another look around the diner to see if there's anyone else working but so far, it looks like it's just her and the cook.
"There will be someone in soon," Roxanne says as if she's just read his mind, "Fifteen minutes maybe."
"Can we talk?" he asks, scratching the back of his head, "I mean-"
"I'm due my break," she nods, "You can go through the back if you want."
He nods and does as she says. While Doug was here, John and the others were never allowed back there but since Rox took over, if any of them came in to see her, she'd let them sit in the small but cosy staff area because nine times out of ten, there are only ever three people in.
He sits at the small take and reads the newspaper that's on it. It's from a couple of days ago but he doesn't care - he has some news to catch up on.
Ten minutes later, the door swings open and two women, waitresses, come in and he doesn't recognise them and he can feel their curious eyes on him as they put their stuff in lockers before making their way back out onto the floor.
True to her word, Roxanne backs into the room like she said she would, carrying a plate with a burger on it and a glass of what looks like coke and he looks confused when she puts it down in front of him.
"Thought you might be hungry," she shrugs, "Give me a minute."
She returns again a few moments later with another plate, probably her own food and she grabs a can of Irn Bru from the small fridge that's in there.
It seems the neither of them are that hungry because they don't eat - they just stare at each other until John runs his hand through his hair once more and breaks the silence.
"I want to apologise," he says, "Last night, I-I shouldn't have left. I should have stayed and listened to you because you're right, Rox. You have got your own things here and it wasn't fair of me to...assume that you'd just drop everything and come with us."
"It's okay-"
"No. No, it's not," he interrupts, "I was horrible and had been drinking and I'm sorry."
"Thank you," she whispers, "You...when I woke up and saw that you weren't there this morning, you scared me. Why didn't you ring, John?"
"I'm sorry," he repeats, "I got to Roger's and I lay down on that stupid, comfortable couch ..."
A smile tugs at her lips, "It is an unusually comfortable couch."
Reaching a hand across the table, he takes hers, "I really am sorry. I got caught up in all the excitement and-"
"It's alright," Roxy grins, "But you better bring me back one hell of a present."
++|++
pls note that i am horrible at writing anything that comes remotely close to confrontation/angst but i did do my best