Absently, Raine's fingers caressed his neck and the back of his head. Juice looked up, a little unsure, searching for his eyes. The warmth was still swirling through his body after what his lover had done to him. "If this is for one night, I never want the sun to rise again," he whispered.
Raine gave him a slow kiss. "Dawn is still far away," he murmured against Juice's lips, where after his tongue slipped inside again.
Kissing started to feel familiar. It gave him a heavy feeling in his chest; he'd rather not think about their last kiss. He shoved the thought aside. Right now, they were allowed to enjoy each other and he didn't want to ruin the moment by gloomy prospects. His hand moved to Raine's side, he pressed his fingers in the man's muscular body. Without leaving his lips, he raised himself a little, leading Raine until he was on his back. His hand explored his upper body, his thumb following the muscles crossing its path. His other hand covered Raine's collarbone, the tips of his fingers slightly caressing the man's neck. When he started to get a cramp in his leg, he turned and put his knees on both sides of Raine's body, so he was hovering over the biker. Suddenly he was too nervous to look his friend in the eye; he had no idea if his friend liked this position. He had placed his hands next to Raine's head, pressing them into the mattress.
And now?
Actually he had no idea what the hell he was doing.
Warm lips against his wrist dragged him out of his despondent thoughts. Raine had cocked his head to the side and kissed the skin of his arm. He doubted anyone had ever kissed him there and he was surprised by the fierce response of his body. Blood was rushing through his veins and the heat flared up, giving a little more room to his instincts. Dipping his head, he started to kiss the left side of Raine's neck. At first he only kissed the skin, a little later he started to suck it too.
The relieved sighs brushing his ear cheered him on. His lips traveled down until he reached the tattoo starting on Raine's shoulder and spreading across his chest. At first they explored the head of the octopus, then his tongue swirled across the curling tentacles. The last one ended close to his nipple, making Juice suck on it.
Raine's hands glided across his back, across his hips and eventually to his behind. His breathing faltered when the man's fingers kneaded his flesh. Whether he was lowering himself or Raine was pushing him down he didn't know; suddenly Raine's erection stroked his still dormant manhood, which was rapidly growing despite the release of less than 20 minutes ago. He continued his kissing exploration. Skin vibrated with heat below his lips, he heard Raine gasp now and then. Never before had he loved a body with so much interest. Every sigh or faltering of breath seemed to differ from the one before. He felt how Raine's muscles tensed underneath his loving lips; he was soft and hard at the same time, every touch feeling different. Below his belly button there was a subtle line of dark hair going down, soft as down. Although he shaved it off himself, it looked fucking hot on Raine. He kissed it up and down, then he moved his face to the side and licked the V-lines until they disappeared in Raine's boxers.
The fabric of Raine's underwear tickled his throat as his lips found their way above the waistband of it. A pang of desire went through his stomach as he bent his head and watched the large erection. Even though he had disliked the prospect of touching it a couple of weeks ago, he felt a longing rise to kiss him there too, and maybe to take him fully into his mouth.
He wouldn't do it, but nevertheless his lips wandered across the boxers, at the height of his groins until he reached them. From there, the impressions he was leaving were firmer. He looked up to his lover. Raine had raised himself a little. His lips were parted, looking dry, and although there had been sadness in his eyes before they started this, there was now a heated longing in them.
It made Juice breathe faster. The look in Raine's eyes was so intense he started to blush and he dipped his head. He was so close... It felt like he could feel the man's excitement glow on his cheek. He moved his face an inch to the side. A wonderful shiver waved over him. The fabric of the boxer was already wet on the top. On a whim, he pressed his lips against the warm wetness. Right through it he could feel the twitching of Raine's member; the man couldn't hold back a deep moan. With his tongue he glided across the tip. Right through the boxers he got a taste of the intense taste of his friend. His stomach seemed to shoot to the other side of his body. A little startled he looked up. Raine however, had closed his eyes; he was breathing rapidly.
He dipped his face again, gathered some spit and wet the upper side. He jolted when Raine's hand glided across his Mohawk. Nervously, he swallowed when his friend kept his face in place. Did he want a blowjob? Was it his fault? Maybe it had been wrong to heat him up like this. His lips were trembling as he pressed them against the wet fabric. He opened his mouth a little, his lips searching for the edges of the man's erection; his heat was pulsating right through his underwear. Juice's heart was raging in his chest, he started to panic, not knowing what was expected of him now. Should he just do it?
Raine's hand glided to his chin and a little compelled, he raised his face. At the same time he sat up straight. Confused, Juice looked at his friend.
"Did I go too far?" he whispered, his eyes cast down.
Suddenly, he felt disgusting and he moved away from Raine's body and sat down on his knees. In a fluid movement, Raine sat up on his knees too and laid his hands on Juice's hips.
Scared, he looked up.
"You didn't cross any borders I might have," he said. "But I think you crossed your own."
"I – I don't know," he stammered.
"If you're overthinking it, you're not ready. And that's fine. I also enjoy kissing and touching you... or being touched by you."
Juice's breathing calmed down. He cupped Raine's jaw with one hand, the other glided up and down his side. Their lips melted. At first, Raine's tongue traced his upper lip, followed by his bottom lip. It was such a simple movement, but it turned him on immediately. He tried to ignore it and forced himself to concentrate on the kiss.
For a long time, they only touched each other's lips and tongues, until the kiss heated up and they started to kiss each other's necks, leaving dark spots. Slowly, Juice caressed the body of his lover, from his chest descending to his stomach. The heat returned. Gently he pressed his teeth into the flesh between Raine's shoulder and neck, while one hand glided to the man's right cheek, pressing his waist closer. His hand wandered to Raine's waistband and started to toy with the elastic. His lips stilled on Raine's neck when his friend did the same.
His lover smiled at him, kissing him lightly and resting his forehead against Juice's. His hand slipped into Juice's boxers and the muscles in his upper body contracted when he copied his movement, his eyes never leaving Juice's.
. . .
Raine listened to Juice's heavy breathing. He had fallen asleep. Now and then he was snoring, but it wasn't bothering him. That wasn't the reason he was still awake.
He thought he would go out like a light after these emotional days and the sexual release of tonight. Still, he couldn't sleep. He had wrapped his left arm around Juice's body, his stomach pressed against the man's back. The Son had curled up a little, so Raine's lips were resting on his nape and his waist warming Juice's behind. He loved lying like this. He loved everything they had done tonight. Apparently he was super gay, but he could care less. There had been an almost irresistible desire to expose his lover completely, to take him into his mouth, to taste him, feel the heat brush the inside of his mouth. Juice however, wasn't ready, and the little bit of common sense that hadn't been affected by his lust, was happy about it.
After all, this was just for one night.
They couldn't go on like this.
And still – he wanted it so badly. He wanted Juice. He wanted all of him. Especially now he'd lost his sister, he didn't want to lose Juice. Not as a friend – nor as a lover. The intimacy between them was different than anything he had ever felt, their connection went so deep... He thought back to his last conversation with Rosa. He wondered if she had known that her end was near.
"Promise me something, Raine."
Raine swallowed. The fierceness in her eyes caused a lump in his throat. Her body was giving up, her inner fire however, burning bright as ever. "What is it?" he asked quietly.
"If you find out that you love him, really love him – then don't give up on him. You've already lost so much. I've seen the way you look at each other. Your love is pure and transcends human barriers. I know how important the club is for you, but keep this in mind, dear brother. You owe them nothing. They have no say in your love life. If they are unable to trust you, if they don't believe that you will keep your private and club life separated and that you're not loyal to the bone, then they're not worth your time and trust. The Mayans are a brotherhood, they're supposed to help you find your way in this, instead of judging you for it and prohibiting it. If they don't take your feelings seriously... then this isn't a club you should want to be part of."
He promised her.
That same night he had written down the words so he would never forget them. His last promise to her. If you really love him. It was too early to state that. He was madly in love with this guy – there was no way around that. Their friendship however, was still in an early stage and they were taking huge risks by being friends, let alone by sleeping together.
Raine however, wasn't sure he could control himself. Juice called up so many strong feelings inside him, so many feelings he didn't want to fight. His whole life already felt like one giant battle. At first against the sickness of his mom, then to that of his sister. He was done fighting. Especially because this defeat would feel like a blessing.
He looked at the warm shadow in front of him and kissed Juice's shoulder.
"I want you," he whispered into the darkness. "I want to love you every night."
He said it now on purpose, now Juice was asleep. After all, he wouldn't respond to his longing, not now his emotions were a mess. If they decided to give their relationship a chance, he wanted his head to be quiet and he didn't want Juice's love to be a remedy for his pain.
It was risky; it was stressful; it would change their friendship. If they took that step, it couldn't be a decision based on their emotions. They both had to be convinced that the intimacy they had just felt was worth all the risks. That they weren't simply in love, but loved each other so much their distance was making them unhappy and that they were both willing to bear the consequences.