Alex
"Rachel?" Oh my god, what is she doing? What the hello has happened to her? "Rachel?"
I try to lift her head up from the mud puddle that she is half lying in, but she's such a state that she has become dead weight. When I didn't see her for a few days, I assumed that was because she freaked out over our kiss and she didn't want to know me anymore.
I never expected to find her like this. All messed up and left alone
"Are you on drugs again, Rachel? That was only supposed to be a one time thing, don't you remember? One moment of fun before we crashed back to reality and dealt with everything that is going on here...not that I think we can deal with it; it may well be a bit out of our league. But you weren't supposed to go back and not alone either."
"I left him," she murmurs shutting my thoughts off. "I left him to die."
"Who? Who did you leave to die?"
"My father. He was bit and I did nothing to help him."
I don't like what she's saying. She can't blame herself for something that she had absolutely no control over and couldn't have fixed anyway, but I'm really glad she's talking because it means she's alive.
"I left my mother in the house with him as well. She will be dead now because of me. I didn't want to, but I did."
"You did nothing wrong, Rachel, now shall we try and get you up?"
"I had friends here once, but I pushed them away just like I did you." She is surprisingly lucid for someone so messed up which is kinda worrying in its own way. "I had a good thing with you and I messed it up. I chose drugs instead."
My heart has been breaking without her anyway, but now it's in a million pieces.
"We can get things back," I assure her. "We can be what we once were. You can get off the drugs and we can start again."
"I don't think so because I know that this isn't home anymore, and it never will be. Not with those people I charge. It can't be, and this is the safest place that I have been in since this virus started, so if this can't be home then nowhere is."
"We can find somewhere. Me and you. I will go anywhere to keep you safe, Rachel, to keep you happy."
"Don't you get it, Alex? There is nowhere safe. There is nothing worth living for anymore."
I won't listen to this, I can't have her giving up on me, so I simply refuse to hear it. I use every scrap of energy that I have left and pull her to her feet. I am going to get her to sleep this off and get more sense out of her in the morning
Me andRachel share something, I just know it, and I am not going to give up on us. Noway.