I walk into the choir room after sending a quick message to my parents. We were leaving for LA in two days and we were having a finally meeting before doing so. When I was done I look up to see everyone gathered around the piano.
"What are we working on today?" I said dropping my bag and things before walking over to them.
Mr. Shue and the everyone look at each other and I glance over at Blaine and Sam who had this weird look on their face.
"We actually came up with a idea for nationals." Blaine said.
"And we need your help to give us some song ideas." Sam added.
"Okay, what is it?" I ask them confused
"The glee club have suggested..." Mr. Shue said. "That we should perform songs to honor Finn's legacy." I suddenly felt like the whole world slam a ton of weights on me.
"And we wanted to do songs that are Finn's all time favorite." Blaine finished. "Songs that he loved and meant something to him. Something only you would know."
I felt my hands shaking so I clench them together so I didn't begin to fall apart.
"Um..." I heard my voice crack a bit. "Y-yeah, yeah." I push myself off the piano and walk over to my backpack. I unzip the first pocket and pulled out Finn's old Ipod. I always had his ipod since he was off in college and he didn't want any distractions. I turned it on and unlock it before coming back handing it over to Mr. Shue. "Here you go."
Mr. Shue took the ipod and I pulled my hand back quickly feeling my hand shake, yet with some casually so no one could notice. Mr. Shue began to look through and named the songs out loud, mostly ones from the most played of on his favorite playlist. I zoned out through everything, I loved my brother and even if I moved on it doesn't mean all of this doesn't still hurt. But to be honest I know mom pushes them away for me. The pain hurts her worse than me. But I dont think there going to be a point where we wont feel it. This was a normal and even if we dont like it, it's not like we can bring back the dead. I'll always miss him and theres going to be an empty hole in my heart that only he can fill. Family is irreplaceable.
After school I was walking over to my car when Ryder came up.
"Hey." he said.
"Hi." I spoke softly and playing with my sleeves.
"I know this is none of my business." he said. "But I notice your reaction when Blaine, Sam, and Mr. Shue told you about the whole nationals idea. Lydia, are you really okay with it? Honestly?"
I look at him. "Y-yeah." I told him. "I think it's a great idea, it's just... I just need some time alone." I told him. "So if I separate myself from the group please in LA... just let me be."
"I understand." he said. "And I know you might need someone if you're feeling down, so I'm offering my humble services to you. We all are."
I chuckled. "Thank you Ryder."
"No problem." he said.
I got to my car and took a deep breathe. "I'll see you monday." I said putting a smile.
"Don't forget to pack."
I nodded and got in my car. I drove off and made it home in one piece thankfully. After turning the car off I went to my room and finish up the costumes for nationals. I couldn't help the slow tears that fell down my face as I kept letting all those emotions come back out.
I had texted Sebastian that I wanted to be alone. Which he ask if I was sure, to which I responded yes. But he was right, I didn't want to be alone.
"Hey Lydia." I look up and saw Sam at the door. "You okay?"
"Huh? Oh yeah." I said looking at my notes. "Just catching up on work that's all."
"Okay." he stood there as he place his hands inside his pockets. "So..." I glance back at him. "Where's Sebastian? I'm asking because he's usually here."
"Oh um..." I look at one of works and saw it was wrong. "He was going out with his friends tonight. He didn't want to go unless I was okay with it of course, but it doesn't bother me."
"But he should be here." now I stop what I was doing and look at Sam. "We're leaving to LA on Monday."
"It's only for three days." I drop my things and turned towards him. "Sam he's done so much for me, i think a little freedom and time spent with his friends is fine."
"Does he know about today?" he walk into me room. "About how you were shaking and about to break after we told you what our plan was."
I didn't say anything, I thought no one saw but I guess I was wrong. I got up and look at him. "I appreciate you checking up on me, but I would like some time alone to myself please."
"Lydia you need someone to talk to--"
"Sam, I'm fine." I snap. "When was is it a crime to just be alone?"
He look at me and sighed. "Fine." he walked out and closed the door behind him.
~~~~~~~~
I was walking out from the car with my mom and dad.
"Thank you Sebastian." Dad said as we were grabbing our things.
"No problem." He said helping my mom with her bag.
"Alright. Please, make sure our car gets in one piece otherwise-"
"Dad." I said wrapping my arms around my boyfriend. "Sebastian will make sure your car gets back in one piece, please stop scaring him."
"Hey, it's a father's job." He said.
Sebastian and I laughed along with mom. "We'll head inside." Mom said. "And give you two a moment."
"But don't take to long and no funny business." Dad said as mom drag him.
We both laugh and I turned to Sebastian. "Be safe." he said brushing my hair back.
"Don't do anything stupid of fun without me." I told him.
He chuckled. "Never." we leaned in and kiss. "Call me when you can and-"
"Always think about you 24/7 ?" I said in between kisses. "I'll call you before I fall asleep and after I wake up."
He smiled. "I want to give you something." he reach for something in his pocket. I look down at his hands and saw him pull out a beautiful ring.
"This is for you, the love of my life." he held my hand and place it on my ring finger. "When I went out with the guys, Nick was looking for a necklace to give to his girlfriend. That's when I saw this." I look at the ring and fell immediately in love with it. "It's not an engagement ring, but it's a promise that I will always love you not matter what. And a promise that I will one day, someday, marry you."
"Sebastian..." I said looking at the ring. "It's beautiful."
"I love you." He said making me look at him. "And this doesn't show for even half of how much I love you. Hell, there aren't even words invented to describe my love for you. I just know, with all my heart and soul that I'm never letting you go. And I can't wait till the day comes where I can get to call you Mrs. Smythe."
"Mrs. Smythe? Has a nice ring to it. I love you." I told him leaning our foreheads together.
"And I love you." he leaned down and we kiss. "More than anything."
"Lydia." We pulled away and I saw Blaine. "Come on." he said.
"Thanks Blaine." Sebastian said looking annoyed that he interrupted us. Blaine walk over to us. "Please take care of her." Sebastian told him. I had told him about the whole idea that Glee club was putting. He was upset with me for a minute for not telling him, but he understand why I did what i did.
"Don't worry." Blaine said. "We all will."
I hugged Sebastian and then we let go. "I love you."
"I love you, go and give it your all princess."
I walk with Blaine inside the school. I look back and waved at Sebastian as he waved back then headed inside the car. I walk in with Blaine then my parents came after me since mom went to the restroom. Mom and dad gave us a pep talk and the strange thing was i felt someone standing behind me, a sign of warmth and i don't know. I look down and knew what it was, people believe that sometimes we can feel those we love and lose. Finn is everywhere with me but I still couldn't believe that we're going to nationals and it was all thanks to my brother who never gave up on us. On this team.
Mr. Shue started to singing a "mood" music to send us off and we all jump in on our way off.
When we arrived at the airport Blaine and I were seated together.
"I didn't notice that." he pointed at my hand.
"Oh um..." I lifted it up so he would see it. "Sebastian just got it for me."
"I guess things are running smoothly."
"Actually... we had a fight yesterday." I mumbled.
"What happened?"
"Well he was upset that I let him go have fun when I was alone and breaking down. I just wanted to be alone. He was angry and we just started getting mad for no reason." I looked down at the ring. "We made up but it was a moment of realization that everything further down the road is not going to be easy. Nothing was. But I've never been more certain about with someone, it's him Blaine. Always will be."
He smiled. "I'm happy for you two. And trust me you two were made for each other."
"Like you and my brother?" I asked. "You and kurt, Santana and Britttany. Don't tell me you all aren't endgames?"
"Well that we can be certain."
"But we have to live to the fulllest."
~~~~~~~~~
We were in LA. it felt good to get away for a bit. Not to mention the Southern California weather was nothing like Ohio. We jump on double decker bus and toured around having fun, Blaine, Sam, and Tina made sure I was smiling ever though on the flight I was fixing up dresses with mom. We had explore the area and just had a fun time. This was amazing. Traveling with my friends across the country was amazing.
Mr. Shue was trying to get our rooms so we were waiting in the lobby. I was sitting on the couches were mom and dad across me. I had my laptop and was going through somethings. I've decided since I was going to be helping dad out in his tire shop, mom wanted to open up a small boutique where I can still design and make dress, that I would take be taking classes online. Sebastian was going to go to Ohio state he was actually going to meet up with the admissions advisor today.
"What's that you're wearing on your finger?" I heard dad asking.
I look up and saw him smiling. "You knew." I putted together. "He ask you didn't he?"
"In my defense." dad said walking over to sit beside me. "It's better than what your brother's got. Finn got engaged to Rachel, Kurt is now engaged to Blaine. But then I remember you and Sebastian are not like the others. You like to take your time, not rush things, try new things. When he showed it to me I'll admit I was probably going to punch him right then and there, but then he explained it wasn't what I thought it was. His promise to make you happy and love you, that it was a promise."
"Besides." Mom said. "We all know one day he's going to pop the question, just not now."
I chuckled. "Won't be for a while, and you guys are right. I do love him."
It took a while but we were finally all in the hotel room. I was sitting on my bed with my laptop out, my boyfriend on the other end, while I was sewing a dress.
"They are offering to take summer advance classes." He said.
"That's amazing Sebastian."
"Problem is..." I look at him. "I want to spend summer with you."
"That's not selfish one bit.-"
"Lydia, you remember that wedding I told you me and my family had to go to?"
"You ask me to go with you and i said yes." I place my things down. "What about it?"
He let out a sigh. "I had been planning on taking you to Paris before."
"Really?"
"Yes." he ran his hand through his hair. "I was going to take you for a few days around winter break back in january but with all the Hunter stuff going on I didn't."
"Well I guess we'll make up for it then." I saw him smiling.
The the door opened. "Hey." Blaine said. "We're gonna head out, come join us." he walk and saw Sebastian on the other side of my laptop. "Oh hey, Sebastian."
"Blaine." he responded polity.
"Where are we going?" I ask Blaine.
"It's a surprise." Blaine said. "Come on."
"Umm..." i look back at my boyfriend. "I'll call you back?"
"Sure, have fun princess." he said.
"I love you."
"I love you more."
I smiled and ended the call and set my things and dress down. Blaine went over to grab my shoes and Tina came in with Kitty as I got ready. It was hot here in California, I let my hair down and walk out with Kitty since Blaine and Tina went to get the others.
We headed out towards the auditorium that we were going to perform in. Sam had surprise us all when he pulled out Finn's plaque. I felt Marley and Ryder wrap their arms around me and I leaned into them. We were in the moment until Throat Explosion came in. I was really annoyed with them but their leader was not that bad of a bully bully.
"We'll give you three minutes to pack up your feelings and leave." Jean said.
"Who's that?" one of their members said pointing at my brother's plaque. "Your spirit guide."
"I swear I will-" Ryder wrap his arms around me and held me back from saying anything or engaging at him.
"Will what?" The same guy who talked like my brother meant nothing.
"Daluf enough have some respect." Jean said. "Look everyone knows your that show choir. Everyone knows it been a ruff year for you and now everyone is just waiting..." he walk over to Blaine. "And watching you." he was in front of Blaine. "Tonight you have our condolences New directions. But let's be very clear tomorrow you will not have our mercy, pity, or restraint. We're Throat Explosion... expect us." They moved and I walk out feeling everyone's eyes on me.
~~~~~~~
"Lydia?" I heard someone say walking into me and Kitty's room in the morning. I laid on the bed. "Hey." i felt a huge weight shift. "Do you want to talk?"
"I just need a few minutes alone." I whispered to Ryder. "I'll be fine."
"Okay." he said. "If you need anything we're here."
I look at him and gave him a small smile. "I know. Thank you anyways."
I heard the door shut and turned to look up into the ceiling. I needed to go somewhere to take a break from all of this. At least before nationals.
I walk over to grab a guitar and began to play.
I remember tears streaming down your face When I said, "I'll never let you go." When all those shadows almost killed your light I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone," But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight. Just close your eyes The sun is going down You'll be alright No one can hurt you now Come morning light You and I'll be safe and sound
Don't you dare look out your window, darling. Everything's on fire The war outside our door keeps raging on Hold onto this lullaby Even when the music's gone. Gone... Just close your eyes The sun is going down You'll be alright No one can hurt you now Come morning light You and I'll be safe and sound
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh La, la (la, la) La, la (la, la) Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh La, la (la, la)
Just close your eyes You'll be alright Come morning light, You and I'll be safe and sound...
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, oh, oh Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, oh, oh
"Hey." I look up and saw Blaine, Sam, and Artie. "You okay?"
"Why wouldn't I?" I ask confused.
"Well I mean we thought this might be too much for you." Artie said.
"Especially when it look like you were going to punch that guy last night." Blaine said walking over to sit next to me.
I smiled. "I'm fine, seriously I just needed to relax and let everything out. I'm okay."
"Okay."
"Let's get ready for nationals guys." Mr. Shue said coming into our room.
After we grab our things Sam came to me. "Hey do you have them?" He ask.
I nodded and pulled them out from my bag and handed them over. "I'll give them back." he said.
I chuckled. "No, keep them Sam." I said closing his hands around them. "He would've want you to have them."
He stood there and I look at him.
"What?"
"It's just...." He look away for a moment then back at me. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm fine."
"Okay." he started walking out and I went back to looking for something in my bag. Where was the--
"Lydia." I turned back to see Sam. "About what happened at home." he met my eyes. "I'm sorry, you're right it's not a crime to want to be alone. And I think you needed that."
"It's okay Sam." I said giving him a smile.
He smiled back and we headed down to the buses. When I got onboard I saw Sam looking frantically for something then he burst out and confronted Jean from Throat Explosion to give something back..
"Give what back your talent because you obviously left that back in Ohio." he held his hand up to high five us back.
"Very funny but seriously give us the plaque back." Someone stole my brother's plaque? I got out and jump out of the bus to join them.
"Let get a few things straight." Jean said. And he went on babble how he was going to win.
"Just say if you don't or do have my brother's plaque, jerk." I said getting pretty annoyed.
He look at me. "He's your brother?" He ask pointing at Sam.
"No." I said. "The plaque is the memoriam of my brother, and we would really like it if you'd stop messing around with us and say either you do or don't have it."
He look at me. "We don't." he said. "And I'm sorry for your lost."
And with that he walk off with his team. I watch them leave then got back on the bus with Sam and Blaine. Sam gave us a pep talk that would've actually match what my brother would've said. I smiled and we all cheered getting ready for nationals.
The buses took off towards the theater and we got off to get ready. I was helping everyone and one by one they all walk out of the green room. I stayed back to clean up and put the things away.
"Hey." I jump to hear Sam chuckling a bit.
"Hi." I said sorted of relief placing my hand over my heart. "Geez, you really scared me."
"Sorry." he said smiling. "You alright?"
"Yeah, just someone has to clean up." I turned back and got to work.
"Here let me help you."
"Thanks." We moved around and finally cleaned up and put everything away.
"So I wanted to ask."
"What?"
"Is everything really okay with you?"
We both walk out and headed into the auditorium. "Yeah, everything is fine."
"You sure because everyone was worried--"
"Sam." We stop and I grab his arm. "Everything's fine. Trust me."
"Alright." We were now walking side by side. "How's everything with Sebastian?"
"Great." I said smiling.
"That's good."
We walk inside and took our seats. Mercedes had came to watch us perform, mom and dad were nowhere to be found. I wasn't even sure what was going on. We watch the other teams performed and they were amazing. Sam, Blaine, and tina were sitting with me, as we watch.
I began to feel nervous and anxious so I started spinning the ring around my finger.
"Hey." I look down and saw Sam grabbing my hand. "It's gonna be fine."
I look at him smiled and we focused back on the teams.
Throat explosion went on and I still felt Sam's hand over mine. It wasn't the same feeling I get when Sebastian holds my hand, it was this weird foreign feeling. I carefully pulled my hands out form his hands not trying to make it seem rude but I wasn't really comfortable with it.
"Sorry." Sam said realizing right away.
"It's fine." I said still watching throat explosion. And boy were they really good.
After watching a few more groups it was finally our turn. We all got up and walk to the back to get ready. Sam went to the curtain and was looking out for my parents, they still haven't shown up.
We finally came to the conclusion my parents weren't coming. Mr. Shue had gathered us in a show circle and began his speech.
"Oh that's a bunch load of horse poo." I heard mom said.
"Mom." I ran towards her and dad and embrace them while everyone cheered.
"Burt finally convinced me to turn around when we were half way down laguna." we walk over to the rest.
"I didn't say a word." Dad said.
"You didn't have to." I look at mom confused. "I heard Finn's voice in my head." she look at everyone. "This is nationals ma, I coach those kids.' So don't give it the old college try. You guys are the nationals champions, go show them how's it done."
"Couldn't have said it better myself." Mr. Shue said. "Alright let's go."
We all put our hands in. "Aaaaaammmmazing!"
[Imagine Lydia singing lead instead of Tina in the first song.]
~~~~~~~
"We got this in the bag!" Ryder shouted. I laughed as well as everyone then we headed out to grab a quick break, get water and snacks.
I turned and walk outside to the lobby and pulled out my phone.
I dialed the number and waited.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"How did it go?"
"Really great." I answered smiling. "You know the entire time we performed I felt him watching next to my parents. And for a spilt moment, I saw him."
"Anyone who knew him knows he would be proud of you. Everyone. You know that right?"
"Yeah." I said dkwn on a bench. "You know I miss you being here in the crowd. Not the same without you here."
"I wish I could've been there." he said. "How was it. Did you win?"
I walk outside the theater and leaned against the wall outside. "I don't know. We haven't gotten the results yet. But you know the funny part."
"There's a funny part? And here I thought everything would be boring."
"Sebastian."
"Okay, okay. What's the funny part?"
"I'm here in Los Angeles, and it just reminds me of the one thing I promised Finn."
"What's that?"
"To see the world." I stood up and headed back inside. "When we were little, Finn had asked me what was the one thing we'd want to do before we died."
"What was it?"
"To travel around the world. To see what the world had to offer and he made me promise to do that. And the only person I want to do that is with you, Sebastian."
I heard him slightly chuckling. "Funny that's what I wanted to talk to you about when you got back."
"What are you talking about?"
"After my aunts wedding in Paris, my parents had suggested that I should go and travel the world with the one person that truly makes me feel whole."
"Let me guess, you're planning on taking Nick." I teased.
"Not a chance." he said chuckling. "So would like to come and see world with me, princess?"
I smiled. "I would love nothing more, my prince charming."
"Then let's go see the world."