I posted this five days ago b4 I left for my trip and apparently it didn't upload or save so had to write it again enjoy.
"You see sweet cheeks," Ashton pauses sucking in the cigarette "Everyone here is a lost cause." he breathes out, smoke filling my nose
"I still don't understand" I say as I cross my arms over my chest. He leans back against the balcony as he groans throwing his head back
"Meaning that, we're too much of a lost cause no one can fix." He says running his hand through his curly brown hair.
"So that's why they make us lose our memory. So we forget" he says blowing the smoke once again.
I look at the cigarette in between his fingertips and questions something out of the blue.
"Why do they have a balcony open for the patients?" I ask and he looks at me confusingly titling his head
"Aren't they afraid, that the 'lost causes' here will jump off?" I say rolling my eyes. And he scoffs.
"I don't understand why you care so much babe" he says offering me the cigarette he had in his mouth. "they do what they want, they're in charge, not me."
I look at the cigarette and take it slowly.
"We don't have all day" he rolls his eyes
"Are you gonna smoke or we going in?"
I shake my head throwing the husky smell of smoke on the ground, stomping on it with my slipper as he leads me back inside.
I don't understand why Ashton is so touchy, the past hour I've spent with him was, weird.
His hands finding their way to mine, how he rests his arm around my waist, or even how he bounces his leg against mine.
He drapes his arm around my neck walking down the halls of "the centre" is he described this place and finding our way to a little therapy room with the same group of people inside.
"Hi Ashton!" They say and some are over a bit excited running up to the both of us.
"Do you wanna play cards with us?" one boy says, and Ashton smiles.
"Sorry boys, I have a pretty lady here and I don't want to leave her on her own." he says grinning tightening his grip around me and they all grin back.
The boy takes his lip ring in between his fingers and looks at me with his big brown eyes, scanning me up and down, then looks at Ashton who's still grinning.
"She can play too" he says and the two other boys agree
Ashton looks at me taking something out of the pocket of his uniform pants and puts it in his mouth, a toothpick?
"What do ya say babe?" he says winking, biting the toothpick in between his teeth "you up for a game of cards?"
-
"That's fucking bullshit!" Jack says as he throws his cards down on his table. And we all laugh as he's over reacting
"Dude, chill." Eli the curly blonde says bursting into fits of laughter "it's just go-fish"
"Go fish my ass!" Jack retaliates "Kelly cheated! She cheated!" he puts pointing at the small brunette. And she smiles.
I look at Ashton, who seems zoned out with a blank expression as he sits still beside me on the couch.
"Aren't we supposed to be in therapy?" I ask and they all look at me
"This is therapy." Kelly says "See? We're happy and socializing" she smiles proudly as she sets down her pairs
"I'm not!" Jack argues walking away from the table to sit with the other patients
"Well-" Eli was interrupted by someone as she says my name.
"Isabella Kenney?" she asks with the clipboard in her hand and she smiles.
"We're ready to see you" she says and I look over to Ashton who's looking at me with a high brow then nods his head in assurance as I start to walk my way to the llady
She's a different girl who has curly blonde hair and bright red lips leading me way down the halls.
As I pass by I see a sign
"ASHBORNE CENTER" it read and on the bottom was a slogan. "a cure for everything."
I furrow my eyebrows as I follow the nurse who was still guiding me to the room I guess Calum was talking to me about .
Therapy
She smiled as she opened the door and just like I had guessed, it was white. Like every other room in this god damn place and Cathy, who was sitting down on a chain looking up to see me.
The nurse nodded her head at Cathy who then smiled at me showing me that she was leaving closing the door behind her.
"Take a seat." she said as her voice was quite shaky.
"I'm Catherine Welsh if you forgot me from earlier" she said quietly chuckling
Was that supposed to be a joke? A pun of some sort?
Instead I simply nod my head. As she looks around, then quietly.
"Have you talked to anyone?" She asks me and I nod
"I talked to this boy, his name was Calum, oh, and Ashton." I say as she tilts her head crossing one leg over the other
"Ashton?" She asks and I nod
"He's one of the patients here too, he's told me a lot of things about this place" I say and her eyes widen
"Did he now? Like what if you don't mind me asking" she asks me and I take a seat crossing my feet and tucking them under the comfortable chair
"Mm" I say thinking carefully not ratting him out "he told me that this place was like crazy curing of stuff" I say looking down
"Like how sweetie?"
"Um, like how the only reason I don't remember anything or how I got here is because of this place. That it help me forget something." I explain trying to make eye contact with her and her green eyes lock with mine
"Do you have a slight idea on what that something is?" She asks me and I take a completely different turn
I shut my eyes as I hear screams and see things. Are these memories? Images blink away in my head, pills, razors, blood.
I blink a few times noticing my breathing was uneven and that a few tears were falling down my face.
"Are you okay?" Cathy asks me concerned as she stands up sitting beside me on the large chair
"I-I" I stutter not really knowing what to say. "I'm not okay" I say and my words surprise me, as she quickly stands up
"We have to get you some water" she mumbles as she rummages through her cabinets looking for a glass.
I furrow my eyebrows once again taking my head in my hands.
Was that a memory? Is this what Ashton was talking about? Or was this just some hallucinations?
Cathy walks back over handing me the glass then sighs. "You didn't take the pill did you Bella?" She asks and I slowly shake my head looking down at the ground
I thought that she would've told me to have taken the pill right on the spot, to be angry with me, but she didn't
"Good. Whoever told you not to was a smart person, unless you didn't take it yourself."
"Ashton told me not to." I said "Please don't hurt him" I quickly add and she looks at me confusingly
"Why on Earth would I have done that?" She says putting her pen in between her teeth and I sigh in relief "you know that pill? If you swallowed it, you probably could've lost your whole life, just like that" she says snapping her fingers. She writes something down mumbling to herself as I look at her still.
She stands up from her spot heading toward one of the cabinets pulling out a little container walking back over.
"I'm gonna show you a few items and you have to tell me if they remind you of anything okay? It could be anything at all. A memory, a sound, a picture, just say it okay?" She asks me putting out the objects onto the table separating us.
I look at the objects and tilt my head.
Some muddy shoes, a cassette player-but no cassette inside, a few wrinkled notes and drawings, and oh a cassette, but a very wrecked one to be honest.
I pick it up ever so gently as if it were to break.
"A MIXTAPE FOR BELLA" it read with messy hand writing
I turned it back around " '94 MIXTAPE"
I look at Cathy who was eyeing with such protectiveness in her eyes. As I ask her if I could play it.
She was debating whether or not I could listen to it but she agreed.
The tape itself was a bit static in the beginning but the song sort of pulled through. I didn't hear the lyrics or the music very well but I could've sworn
I've heard it before.
Is this nirvana ?
The shirts and videos flash in my mind as I smile, being happy I did remember something
"In the sun,
In the sun"
My smile fades as a fragment of a broken memory of, me, throwing glass and things at the wall as I cry begins to quicken, the smell of alcohol and blood is filling my nostrils, the sound of some one humming almost makes my heart stop, but it didn't end there, but I could've sworn my heart did stop as I saw, I see a boy with blonde hair with tears in his eyes "I love you."
"I knew you weren't ready" Cathy says sighing turning off the cassette player "you never were" she sighs sitting back down as I sit there in shock blinking.
"Did I know some one with blonde hair?" I ask her as she shakes her head
His face wasn't there but I sure as hell
know that wasn't someone I knew.
"Would you like to look at the notes?"
She asks me handing some over and the note read
"Do you talk? Xx" and I shake my head.
She stands up adjusting her clothes.
"Okay, guess it's time for your visitor." she says but stops "don't take any of the pills they give you ok?" She asks me and I nod my head.
"And if they do, I want you to go to the bathroom and throw it all up okay" she asks me again and I nod.
She walks toward the door as a boy my age with pale blonde hair comes in with a bright smile on his face.
"Hey I'm michae- Nathan. Nathan Cli-Clinderstone" he says stuttering and Cathy eyes him "Hey Bella, I know you may not remember me but I'm your boyfriend."
OH BOY OH BOY
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@alysaatv
Qootd :: what do u think of this chapter and why does Canada have milk in bags ?!1?1!