Like I've been saying since the day Potter finished that potion before me, I was going to figure out how Potter did it. I gave myself until Christmas. Well, it was almost time to go home for the holidays and I still haven't figured it out without using legilimency.
On December Twentieth, Professor Slughorn's Christmas Party was cut short for me. I had invited Draco to Slughorn's party, but he shut me down. He said he had to figure out how to fix the vanishing cabinet in the Room of Requirement. It was another task of his and he needed to fix it so the Death Eaters could enter Hogwarts undetected. I offered my help many time, but like my invite, he turned it down. So, instead of taking Draco to the Christmas Party, I had decided I would go alone. Zabini would be there by Slughorn's invitation and didn't invite anyone. Of course I couldn't ask Crabbe or Goyle because they would eat all the snacks at the party, not that snacks mattered to me though. My father told me he would be there to help supervise and I decided I would spend my time with him. So when the Party began, my green cloak turned into a beautiful, knee-length, emerald green dress with black lace flowers decorating the top and fading down the skirt. I left my hair down in it's natural tamed curls. I met my father in his office and we walked together to the party.
"Raven, my dear! I'm glad you could make it! Oh and you as well Professor!" Professor Slughorn exclaimed as soon as we walked into the very decorated room.
"Professor?" I asked, watching as students walked around carrying trays with different foods, "Are there any fruits or something that isn't covered in chocolate?"
"Ah, I knew you were going to ask that. Come with me."
I left my father and followed Slughorn to a table that displayed fresh fruit and raw vegetables. Only a couple girls took food from this table, but as soon as they saw me, they quickly walked off. I ate a strawberry and turned to the professor.
"You know, sir, I find it funny how you favour Potter." I told him.
"It is true, I have been known to favour some students. Potter is my favourite, but you are a close second." He told me.
I sighed and shook my head,
"I doubt that sir. The truth is, I can do so much more than what we're currently learning in class. I took an advanced potions class last year at Ilvermorny. In fourth year, for my Potion's practical exam, I concocted a Draught of Peace, even though I had never made it before and we learned it in fifth year. I only read the instructions for the first time the morning of the exam and I was finished first and made it perfectly, just ask my father." I explained, "my point is, if you want to see Potter's true gift of Potions, test us, but on an advanced potion without our books. Then you'll see who is the true master of the class."
"You think you could do it?" He asked me.
"Give me a random potion right now and I can tell you the ingredients in it." I said.
"Tell me the ingredients of the Forgetfulness potion." He told me.
I thought about the Forgetfulness potion. It was an orange potion, meaning that there was a combination of two ingredients.
"Standard ingredient, mistletoe berries-"
Was is murkey or shimmery? Murkey, right? Yes, of course it was.
"Lethe water and-"
What tied it together? What in combination to all of those made the drinker forget? Think, this should be easy.
"And Valerian Sprigs." I finished.
"That was too easy, what about Felix Felicis? We never went over what ingredients are actually in it, just what it is." He said.
"Trust me professor, this one is easy because I didn't just review it six years ago. I reviewed it two weeks ago in the common room while doing my nightly reading of my potions book." I bragged, "Ashwinder egg, squill bulb, murtlap, tincture of thyme, occamy egg and powdered common rue."
"Tell me a potion that you haven't read about." The professor told me.
"There isn't one. I know of them all." I told him.
"Amortentia. Raven has never cared for potions that she won't need to know in the future." A slow, cold voice said from behind me.
It was true, I've read the name of the potion and never actually paid attention to the ingredients, but I knew my potions and certain ingredients give certain characteristics and final colour. So I nodded, agreeing with my father.
"Well you said give you a random Potion, give me that one." Slughorn said.
I took a breath and thought. Amortentia. The love potion. Faux love, faux love, faux love.
"Rose petals, lionfish spine, powdered nettle, lethe river water-"
I paused to think. What else could there be?
"A fairy wing, only one, rose thorns and," I sighed, what was the last thing? "Powdered unicorn horn. Wait, no. That's not right. The horn would turn it purple. Unicorn hair would turn it pink. It's powdered moonstone. The moonstone would turn it from a light blue to a mother of pearl white sheen."
"Brilliant! I have never heard of a student to be able to figure out a potion without using a book!" Slughorn exclaimed.
Then something caught Slughorn's eye.
"Oh, Harry, my boy! I must ask you something!"
The professor walked over to Potter. I looked up at my father.
"Do you believe I could be an alright Auror?" I asked him.
He glared down at me.
"No." He simply said.
Who was I kidding? Aurors capture and detain dark wizards. I could never to that. Those are my people. And if Potter ends up being an auror as well, I don't think I would be working that position for very long.
My father and I walked up to Slughorn and Potter.
"I think you would make a brilliant auror." Slughorn told Potter, then he turned to me, "You as well, Raven. You know, if you ever need help starting your careers, you can always come to me."
"Thank you Professor, but I don't think I would make a good auror. My written tests are always better than my practicals unless it's for potions." I lied.
I had to make up an excuse and that was the first thing I could come up with.
"Oh, rubbish! Your other professors and I talk. You're the top of almost all of your classes! If you were better at written tests than your practicals, you wouldn't be up there." Slughorn told me.
"I guess my confidence isn't as great as everyone thinks it is. Stability is needed to be an auror. I don't have that."
"I think you're just nervous for the future. You don't know what you want to do. Well whatever you choose to do, just tell me, I can make some calls and I can get you the help you need to get there." The professor told me.
"I bet she would want to be like her father. She's always comparing herself. 'I'm my father's daughter,' and 'I'm the daughter of a professor, you haven't been working your butt off to impress your father.' I think Raven should be a professor so she can be just like her father. That's all you want right? You want to be exactly like him in everyway. No matter who he is or what he does, you want to be like his exact replica." Potter said.
"What are you playing at, Potter? It isn't a bad thing to have your parent as a role model." I told him.
"I think you know exactly what I'm talking about, Snape." He said.
Suddenly the party went quiet as two people walked into the room. I immediately recognised the blond hair and his voice insulting the man dragging him in.
"Professor Slughorn, sir. I just discovered this boy lurking in an upstairs corridor. He claims to have been invited to your party." The squib said.
"Okay, okay, I was date crashing! Happy?" Draco snapped.
My father walked up to the two.
"I'll escort him out." my father said.
Draco glared up at my father as the squib let go of him.
"Certainly, professor."
I watched as the two walked out. I turned to professor Slughorn.
"Excuse me. I'll be back and we can continue our conversation." I said then glared at Potter.
I quickly made my way our of the room and followed my father and Draco. I quickly caught up to them.
"Did you hex Katie Bell?" My father asked him.
"Maybe I did hex that Bell girl, maybe I didn't. What's it to you?" Draco asked him.
My father shoved him against the corridor wall.
"I swore to protect you. I made the unbreakable vow." My father told him.
"I don't need protection. I was chosen for this. Out of all others, me! He could have easily chosen Raven, but I was chosen. And I won't fail him." Draco whispered.
"You're afraid, Draco." My father said.
I could tell my father could see something I couldn't. Draco looked annoyed. But my father was a skilled Legilimens.
"You attempt to conceal it, but it's obvious. Let me assist you."
"No! I was chosen. This is my moment."
Draco began to walk away. If this was the moment of admitting unbreakable vows, I needed to admit mine. My father walked back to the party. I followed Draco.
"Draco!" I called after him.
He sighed and turned to me. I stopped so we were only inches apart. I took his hands in mine.
"I have to tell you something." I told him.
"Just go back to the party, love. Tell me later." He said.
"No, I need to tell you now. I also made a vow. I swore that I wouldn't leave your side when you need me most. I also swore to protect you from harm to the best of my ability. Even if that means dying for you, I'll do it. And then I swore, that if you failed, I would allow my father to fulfill the task you were set to do, but if he so much as hesitates, I will do it." I explained to him.
He stared down at me. I knew he was upset with me. He thought he didn't need protection, but I knew he was too fragile for this task. He's only sixteen and is too emotional right now. He couldn't carry the burden.
"Are you going to say something? Just yell at me. I know you want to. Just do it." I told him.
But instead of yelling at me, his arms wrapped around me, holding me close to me. I could feel his breathing was shaky and his heart was racing. I hugged the boy back.
"Why would you do something so stupid?" He asked me.
"It isn't stupid. I want to protect you and know that if I don't when I know I can, I will pay the ultimate price. You mean the world to me, Draco." I whispered.
He sighed and let go of me.
"And you meant the world to me too," He whispered, a tear falling down his cheek, "But you and my parents decided my future for me that I don't want, you lied to me and you made your bird a human again, then kept it from me. I don't trust that guy, you guys have a complicated past and you brought it back."
"Ross has only been a friend. I told him that we can't repeat our past. And as for the lying, it was so I didn't hurt you. I was protecting your heart. If it ever broke, I would break. How did you find out about all of this?" I asked.
"I've known about that dream between my parents and you since the last day of summer. All of your lies, I've always known were lies. I know you better than anyone else on this planet. I can tell when you're lying. And your bird came to talk to me by himself and explained everything. I can't believe you would go against me like this. It's like you have all these different people and identities inside you and I never know who I'm talking to because the person is always different. I don't recognise you anymore." He explained to me.
He looked angry, confused, hurt. I should have been in the same vulnerable state that he was in, but I felt nothing. I felt like this just happens everyday and it's a normal conversation.
"So what?" I asked him, "are you breaking up with me? Over a couple white lies and boy who is just a friend to me?"
He looked down at me. Just the mention of Ross made his eyes stare coldly down at me.
"You're not friends. You'll never be friends."
"Nothing is going on!" I exclaimed.
"You love him. You lied about the Amortentia. I could tell from the second you said everything I wanted you to say. The tone in your voice. The worried look in your eyes behind the smile. How quickly you looked away. You love him and you'll be in love until it kills you because that is just the type of person you are. You'll argue meaningless arguments that you'll always win, he'll snog you and you won't do anything about it, and he and I will hate each other. But in the end, you'll choose him. You'll never be friends. Friendship is just an excuse to cover up something more that you don't want to admit."
"But nothing is going on! Draco, listen to me-"
"We can't be a couple anymore, Raven. Hell, I can't even be your friend. It's too hard. We can't talk anymore. I don't want to hear your voice. I don't want to see you around school. And I do not want to be your friend." He said as more tears fell down his cheeks.
"I love you." I whispered.
He rolled his eyes and turned around, starting to walk away from me. I followed behind him at the same pace.
"Draco Lucius Malfoy, you had your speech and now it's my turn!" I yelled at him, pulling his shoulder to make him look at me.
"You've had our whole lives to talk. It's my turn and I'm telling you that this conversation is over." He said, walking away from me again.
"Draco Malfoy! I have told you that I love you! I have only told you that! You are special to me!" I yelled.
"You found me, now go find someone who wants a liar and a cheater for a girlfriend."
"Are you doing this to make me angry? Well guess what, I'm really bloody angry because I love you!" I almost screamed at him, "I love you and I hate you!"
He sighed and turned to face me, making me stop abruptly.
"You are terrified of being alone, aren't you? I got in touch of that Vexx Grimm guy from America and he told me everything he knew about you. Seemed like you two had some feelings shared while you were there too. You told him that your biggest fear was of being alone. So I guess that makes me your little plush bear for you to cuddle to make you feel better? Is that what I am to you?"
He began walking away again. I could feel tears well up in my eyes. He was walking away.
"Draco!"
He stopped.
"Look at me."
He looked over his shoulder as I blinked and a tear ran down my face. His face softened a little. He sighed and shook his head.
"You lied to me." He whispered.
He continued walking away and this time, I let him. I stopped calling out for him. I stopped fighting. I had to make a decision now- Either be the girl that sobs about a break up and acts depressed for months, or go back to that party, have fun, and not worry about the boy who thinks he can drop our connections that easily. It was easy to decide on which one to choose. I was a queen and he needed to notice that very quickly or so Merlin help me, he would regret it. I quickly composed myself, dried my tears, fixed any stray hairs and walked back to that party. I made my entrance and walked over to Professor Slughorn.
"I'm sorry I took so long Professor, I got caught up in a conversation." I told him.
"Oh that's quite alright! I was just talking to Harry about how you two should have a competition on who can make a potion perfectly and in the shortest amount of time." The professor said to me.
"I think that is a brilliant idea!" I exclaimed, "But I think it should also be without a potions book. It would show off who has the best memory and skill."
The professor agreed enthusiastically. He gave us the Christmas break to study the recipe for brewing Felix Felicis. After that conversation ended, I decided to keep my mind away from what was going to happen as soon as I entered the Common Room. The girls are going to want to know everything about how the party was. My father and I spent only about ten more minutes at the party, then we bid Professor Slughorn goodnight and left. We made our way to the dungeons and then we both walked to my father's office.
"You're not sleeping in the Common Room?" He asked me.
"Erm, no. My roommates tend to get rowdy on nights where I go to these parties and dinners." I lied.
The truth was, I didn't want to risk facing Draco, but I couldn't tell my father that. I was truly upset with how Draco reacted tonight and I never thought I would be upset of a breakup, but I was. I wasn't in tears, but I wanted to be. No matter how much I wanted to just let go of my tears, they wouldn't fall. Instead of making a bigger deal of the situation that it was, I just got changed into my nightgown and went to bed.
Draco's POV
I sat in the common room, waiting for Raven to come back. I wanted to apologise to her. I overreacted. I knew it was just her way of protecting my feelings. It was how she was born. I couldn't change that. I've always known she was like this. She would lie to protect my feeling and she didn't do it to hurt me if I found out. She just wanted me to be happy. She had only the best intentions. She would never want to hurt me. Everyone thinks she's such a bad person, but if they knew the real her, they would think the same thing I do- Raven had integrity (when she wanted to), she was courageous, smart, kind, confident, respectful (again, when she wants to be), and responsible. She was my life. She made me whole and I just tossed her aside because she lied to protect my heart, forgetting about all the amazing traits she possessed. She was a genuinely good person to the people she liked and trusted, she was just raised to be the way she was. I needed to tell her how much I wanted to take her back. I wanted to tell her all these things about her that I loved, that I just overreacted, and that I was sorry for how I treated her tonight. The only problem was, she never came back to the Common Room. I woke up to Astoria Greengrass shaking me awake.
"Draco, the train is leaving in about two hours. Are you going home for the break?" She asked me.
"Yeah, thanks. Did Raven come in at all last night? I guess I fell asleep while waiting for her." I asked her.
"I don't think so, I can go look for you." She offered.
She went walking toward the stairs. I found myself thinking about her bouncy personality. Her brown hair flowing as she ran up those stairs. She wore a black, knitted jumper and dark blue, ripped jeans, finished with some black sneakers. I had to admit that she was a pretty girl, even in the simplest of clothing. I also couldn't forget her pep talks before Raven went to America. She was inspiring. I remembered her sister saying that she lived everyday like it was her last. I impatiently waited for Astoria to walk back down the stairs, hoping that Raven would be with her. And when she did, someone did accompany her, but it wasn't Raven.
"I thought she was with you! She's your girlfriend! Not mine! You should be watching her!" Daphne said to me, looking she was ready to punch me square in the face.
"Why are you so mad at me! I didn't do anything wrong!" I argued with her.
"You let her slip from your sight and now she's gone! Where in the bloodiest of hell do you think she could have gone if she's not with you and not with her roommates?" She asked.
I thought for a second. Where would she be allowed to go if she's not in the Common Room? It was so obvious that it made me feel stupid for not thinking it before.
"She's in Professor Snape's office. She hasn't slept in her room for a long time." I sighed.
"Congratulations! You found your girlfriend! Now go get her and bring her back here! The girls have been waiting all night for her to tell us what happened at the party!" She yelled at me, then walked back up to the girl's dormitories.
The mention of her being my girlfriend made my spirits fall to the floor.
"Is there something wrong?" Astoria asked me.
I forced myself to look up at her. Something made me feel like I trusted her. Maybe it was her story and her supportive personality.
"I broke up with Raven." I told her.
Her face immediately changed and she quickly took a seat next to me.
"Draco, I'm so sorry to hear that! Are you alright? Was is a bad breakup?" She asked.
I shook my head, staring at my hands. I felt her hand rest of my shoulder and she gave it a reassuring squeeze.
"I know Raven. She would never want to hurt me. But I found out that she's been lying to me, but its all been to save my feelings. I said some things I meant, but more things that I didn't mean. I never gave her a chance to explain." I told Astoria.
"What did she lie about?"
"She and my parents made me think that my future had been decided. That... Our parents... Would have us married when we were of age to keep our blood line and similar beliefs as pure as possible. Our families kept this information from me until a couple days before school started. In our first potions class, she smelled some Amortentia and lied about what she smelled, saying that it was me, but it was really someone else. I knew by the look on her face. She started talking to that guy, whom she used to have a strong relationship with in the past. She broke ties with him and said it was only her and me, but then she started talking to him again recently. He came up to me and told me the truth. I said somethings to Raven about the two of them that were out of line and I didn't mean. I accused her of being a cheat, which I know isn't true. I also found out that Raven had owled one of her friends in America, so when his letter came back to my house after she had left, I used the same address to owl him and have him tell me everything that happened in America. I found out that he had feelings for Raven and it made me furious that she told him that she was afraid of being alone and used him as her safety blanket. He was like the American version of me to her ad it made me feel like if he was just a security thing, was that what I was to her too? I all just made me mad and hurt and made me overreact. I told her that I didn't want to be her friend. I didn't want to see her or talk to her. I want to apologise to her, but I can't if she thinks that she has to avoid me." I explained.
She sighed and looked like she was thinking hard for a minute. Finally, after a couple silent seconds that felt like minutes, she spoke up.
"Well, I'm going to start with the American," She told me, "She used him so she could feel comfortable in her new environment. She was alone and that was a scary experience. But here, she doesn't have to feel scared of being alone. She knows everyone and she knows the castle like the back of her hand. Her family is here and her best friend. She just wanted to at least feel like she had a friend in America."
She went on talking about how Vexx was like her security blanket because she had no one else. She could trust him and only him. And even if he had feelings for her, she was in a time in her life that she believed that she couldn't love back. She thought that she didn't know what love was and didn't think she was capable of it. I had nothing to fear about Vexx.
"Now the family bond thing, I believe, would only be a last resort. If you two fall in love with different people, I would believe that your parents would let you both be and love who you'd like to love. They wont break up two couples just because they want you and Raven to marry." She told me.
I quickly disagreed with her.
"No, you don't understand. My parents don't give me a choice. If they want me to do something, I have to do it." I told her.
"But when you're of age, you don't have to follow their rules anymore. You'll be an adult." She said.
"It doesn't matter. I still respect my parents. They know what's best for me."
"That is called 'giving up'. You're just giving in and not letting your feelings be heard. If you don't want to do something that they want you to do, you have a right to tell them no and tell them what you're going to do instead."
"So what am I supposed to do with her friend? Amortentia doesn't lie." I asked her.
She thought for a second.
"Well, it's tricky. You're right, Amortentia doesn't lie. But maybe she had started gaining feelings for him again, but she didn't want to hurt you because she still loves you. I can never tell you with complete absolute, but I can give you some maybes that give you hope. And maybe he has been out-romancing you."
"Out-romancing?" I asked.
"He's been being more romantic to her than you. If you really love her, change the smell of the Amortentia potion and make Raven fall head-over-heels for you all over again."
Raven's POV
I wasn't going home for the holidays. Auzilen was going to spend Christmas with the Lovegoods and Father was staying at Hogwarts. I knew the Dark Lord expected me to be home and to go to meetings, but I was so torn apart that I knew that I couldn't. I couldn't bear to see Draco at those meetings. He didn't even want to look at me, he said so himself. I knew I shouldn't have been this messed up over a break up, but this wasn't just the end of a relationship. This was the end of almost a life long friendship. He was the only person that knew everything; and now he was gone. Who was I without him? He was my world! It was like I lost half of myself. I didn't know who I was without him. I already lost him in America, but he was still mine. I was still his. We were separated by an ocean, yet we were inseperable. Now we're living in the same castle, the same common room, working in the same classrooms, and yet we couldn't be further from each other. It killed me. I had to find a way to get back on my feet and fast because Merlin knows that if the Dark Lord senses my weakness, he won't be able to trust me enough to be his second in command.
I've already lost half of my world.
I'm not losing this too.
A/n
Word count: 4872
So it may be a bit shorter than usual, but a lot happened so I think that makes up for it. And I also know that it took me FOREVERRRRR to write this chapter, I'm sorry, I've been SUPER busy. I quit my job, I've been practicing my driving, I've been applying everywhere for a new job. I'm just so happy school starts in a week!!!
Question 1, Thoughts on the break up? Do you think Draco is over reacting? Or Raven under reacting (if that's even a word)?
Question 2, what about that potions competition? Should Raven just have let the whole situation go? Or should she have brought it up sooner?
Question 3, have you started school yet? Are you finished school? Are you in College or Uni? Lol do you like school? I know I do!
Lemme know and don't be a stranger!
Luvz, Spade
I think that's all for now