Unpredictable Match 2

Twenty Three

VOTE&COMMENT
❗️I know the scenes in the rehab are inaccurate as hell but y'all I did my best & sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes 😔

Cameron POV

"Okay, we're gonna step up."

The nurse grabs my hand and I tiredly, slowly step up onto the scale wearing almost nothing had it not been for my underwear. She supports my back so that I don't stumble. My balance has not been its best.

She waits about ten seconds and writes something down. "Okay, step down." She grabs my hand again and I step down from the scale. She walks me back to my bed.

"So you've gained two pounds in the past week— which is good. That's good. You just came out of the hospital and you gained a little weight there. But we just want to bring that up a bit higher, okay? Right now you're at 113, we're trying to get you in that 120 range. You're already looking so much healthier."

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me, you did it with hard work."

I smile at her as I'm putting my t shirt back on with her help. My arm is in a cast and it's still giving me a hard time. I do physical therapy everyday but nothing has changed yet. I still can't move it. The only thing that has really made some dramatic progress is my face. Even though I still can not completely close my left eye, and my smile is still a little off, people are at least able to tell what I'm doing.

"Can we push therapy until later on today please? I'm a little tired." I ask. The truth is I get nervous whenever someone I know isn't here while I'm doing therapy. The twins went to school, Zaniyah is working and Tyler is in and out like always. He told me he'd be back in about thirty minutes but it's been two hours. I need someone here with me. Lately I really don't like the feeling of being alone.

"Yes, we can. How does four sound?"

"Good. Thank you."

She smiles at me before leaving the room. I lay back on the bed and close my eyes. These past couple weeks have had its ups and down. I was transferred here about a week and a half after I woke up and it's been a week since then. I'm so ready to go home at this point, but I'm still on suicide watch and they're still trying to find a solution for this arm of mine. I think they should just give it up because I'm starting to believe this is permanent. I can't feel my arm at all. I don't know how I could come back from this kind of damage.

And part of me feels like I'm only still on suicide watch because of Tyler. Had it been anyone else who behaved as I had been for these past weeks, they wouldn't waste time on making sure I don't kill myself and I say that because I haven't been showing signs of being suicidal lately— at least I think I haven't. But Tyler is the type to have them keep watching me.

I won't try to attempt to do something like that ever again. I made a promise to my babygirl and to myself that I will stick around. I was being completely selfish, and I knew that, but at that moment I didn't care. That changed when I woke up and I saw how hurt my family was. I felt so disgusting. And it makes me sick to my stomach thinking how Leah felt walking in on me like that. I wish I could take it all back. If there was a way that I could erase myself from their memories so that I could take myself out of the picture peacefully, I would. But besides that, I would take it all back.

And, to think I would have missed Aj opening up to me a little bit. I'm smiling to myself now just thinking about it. He didn't really speak to me and that's okay, but I hope I'm not wrong for thinking we're getting somewhere because he introduced his boyfriend to me.

When I met Zyier, I was shocked with Aj but I didn't want to express that. Not only because he has never opened up to me, and not because he's something other than straight, but my mind couldn't help but to reflect exactly what he told me that night that everything happened.

'Everyday I gotta deal with people asking shit about you. number one thing is you being a faggot. It's not your preference, it's the way you act. I never understood, you a man so why the fuck I feel like when I'm around you I'm dealing with a sensitive female child? You don't even make an attempt to dress the part and I know you trying to fucking draw attention to yourself. If daddy was here you wouldn't do have the shit you be doing.'

I was shocked to really take in the fact that Zyier was not necessarily the most masculine young man in the sea. I can tell through his mannerisms and through his expression that he is more on the feminine side. There are qualities I noticed in him that I have which Aj complained about. And that leads me to the confirmation that it's really just me. It's not the way I act, the way I dress, the way I speak, what I'm doing. It's just me that Aj doesn't like. Switch all of my qualities and he still wouldn't like me. There's no code to crack. I'm the problem. There's nothing that I can change.

And I can't help but to feel as though that is revealing an insecurity of his which may be as surface level as his sexuality or it could be something more. The hate and disgust he spews towards the idea of being feminine does not add up with his actions. And I'm no psychiatrist but I believe he has been projecting his own insecurities through hate onto other people instead of coming to terms with himself. I don't know, I could be thinking too much into it. Regardless of all of that, I am really happy that he opened up to me at least a little bit. I hope this is the start of something bigger. I'm going to keep my fingers crossed.

My phone buzzes and it's a text from Milan.

Milan: I haven't heard from u in a while I was just thinking about you I saw the blogs say Tyler has been in an out of the hospital and rehab. Is everything okay

I haven't told anyone I'm here. Not Milan, not my parents, and not my job because I'm sure they already know by now. But I really want to get better and get out of here so I can live life normally again. I don't want anyone to worry about me. It's not something that I'm hiding, I just don't want to explain myself.

Me: Hi, I know and I apologize. I'm in rehab. I had a stroke, but I'm getting better. Thank you so much for asking. ❤️

Milan: really omg I'm glad you're okay oh my god I had no idea I was wondering what happened to you can I come see you tomorrow

Me: Yes, you can if you'd like. That would be nice.

Milan: alright ill see you tomorrow than just send me the address im so glad your ok

Me: Thank you so much, I'll see you tomorrow.

I send him the address and I almost get to put my phone down but I start to get a call from an unknown number. I almost let it just ring without picking up, but I remember that my kids are at school and this might be some type of emergency.

"Hello?"

"Cameron?"

"Yes, who's speaking?"

"Cameron it's me, Kyle!"

I'm glad no one is here to see my funny smile because it probably looks ridiculous right now. I am so happy to hear from him. I forgot I gave him my number when he was here in case he needed anything or just wanted to talk.

"Hi sweetheart, how are you?"

"Im okay, how are you? I miss you guys."

"I'm alright, we all miss you too. I promise when I leave rehab I'm gonna get you a plane ticket to New York." I day genuinely. I don't mine Kyles company at all. He is lovely to be around.

"Rehab? You're in rehab?" His voice drops. I reflect back to my statement and I realize that I did tell him I'm in rehab. I sigh.

"Yes, I am. But I will be out soon."

"But what– what happened? Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I had a stroke, but I'm okay now. Just recovering."

"Oh no, I'm so glad you're okay. I didn't know young people could have strokes too."

I laugh, "I'm not particularly young."

"You are young. Anyways, I'm so glad that your okay and I hope you get out of there soon. I want to come to New York as soon as possible. Things are not getting good at home. I need a break from dad and Tai. Mom is not doing so well, she's on chemo but it's not looking too good. And dad is being so fucking- I'm sorry for my language- but he's being so inconsiderate and he's making everything about him and it's just so annoying."

"I understand. He can be like that. What I used to do is just stay out of his way. Do what you normally do and try to avoid his negativity to the best of your ability. Because it's not going to stop. You need to do something to protect yourself from that energy because it almost drove me crazy. Be there for mom and that's it. Everything will work itself out, no matter what happens. Okay? She needs your support. Don't worry about him. He's fine."

"You're right. I just hope mom pulls through this and doesn't leave me with them. She's my only friend in this house. Everyone else just hates me."

"Don't forget Kyle, you have a home here in New York too. Whatever happens, worse comes to worse, you have a home with me, okay? You may be miles away but I'll do whatever it is to keep you safe and in a good environment."

I hear sniffling on the other end, "where have you been all my life? I always needed a brother like you, not like Tai. All he does is smoke cigarettes and not take frequent showers."

I have to laugh even though it's really not funny at all, "I don't know, but I'm here now."

"Thank you so much. Well, I have to get ready for school now, you guys just came across my mind. Thanks for making me cry. I can't wait to go back to New York. I love you and I love everyone else that I met when I was there. I'll talk to you later and I hope you get out of rehab as soon as possible."

"Alright sweetheart, I love you too. Bye," I smile.

"Bye bye."

He reminds me so much of my younger self, just a more animated version. If something happens to my mother, I don't care, I am not leaving him with my father. I will take it to court if I have to. He deserves a loving home, not a home where he is emotionally abused. And he would be wonderful company.

I remember my dad making me being a teen parent all about him. He's extremely narcissistic that it's borderline scary. How can you turn every single situation into a you problem? I don't like that Kyle is around that energy, especially when it has to do with something as life threatening as cancer. How can you make someone else's cancer all about you? Where do they do that at?

"I've got your lunch. All you wanted was a garden salad, right?" the nurse comes inside interrupting my thoughts.

"Yes, thank you so much."

"You're very welcome."

She sets the tray down on the table side. I sit up. I threw out my breakfast this morning so I'm going to eat a little bit of this salad so I don't pass out. I'm going to try to push for five bites in ten minutes because it usually takes me about a half an hour to get through five bites.

I take one bite and I already don't want anymore. And it has a lot to do with the fact that it's disgusting. The lettuce is all soggy and old. I place it back on the tray and push it aside and opt for drinking some water instead. I'll call Tyler to see if he can bring me a better one.

"Hey what's up? You good?" He answers.

"Yes, I'm okay. Where are you?"

"I'm like an hour away. Why, what's up?"

I sigh. I don't like it when he lies about how long he's going to take. I rather know than be anticipating his arrival thinking that it was supposed to be only thirty minutes when in reality it has turned into nearly three hours. But, he is his own man and what he does is not my business. I have no right to monitor him, I just get very paranoid very fast. 

"Oh. Nothing. I was just wondering."

"Cameron you sure? If you need something say something."

I've been crying a lot, which is nothing new, so I stay silent on the phone as I wipe my tears away. I really don't like being alone and I think I just used the salad as an excuse to call Tyler to see how far away he is. There's always this unsettled feeling in my stomach when no one is here with me.

"I'm sure. I'll see you later."

"I'll be there soon, I promise. Take a nap and when you wake up I'll be there. Did you eat yet?"

"No. There's this salad but I don't want it. It's nasty." Worse salad I've ever came across.

"I'll bring you something to eat aight, I'll see you later."

"Okay, see you later." I hang the phone up with a sigh. I wish it was sooner rather than later. I feel so useless alone in this room. At this point all that I want is to make enough of a recovery to go back home and take care of my kids and go back to work and again take care of my students. I miss them so much. I've been getting some word from Treyvante through Taleah since they are now friends... "friends". But she tells me that everyone misses me, even the students I didn't have. That's nice to know. I received some of their get well cards. There were so many to read but I read each and every single one of them. Yes, even Giovanni's which was way more heartfelt than it had to be. He was basically professing his love for me in a get well card. But it's the thought that counts.

I guess while I wait for Tyler to come with my food I'll take a shower. I learned that while I was in a coma a nurse would come and give me a bed bath. The thought of that makes me cringe. Not that I ever have, but I will never take being able to give my own self a shower for granted. Thankfully there is a shower in this room, so I don't have to be escorted to some kind of community shower. All of that is courtesy off Tyler and Jim spending unnecessary money. I have a change of clothes as well, comfortable clothes.

I use my right hand to brace myself on the bed and push myself up. After all that's happened, I'm so grateful that my legs still function because had they not, it would be hard to do many things on my own. My left arm not moving is inconvenient, but it does not hinder me from feeling independent in most cases.

I close my room door for some privacy then close the bathroom door. I'm not allowed to lock it, matter of fact, there is no lock, being that I'm on suicide watch. I know one thing, I would've protested if I had to be watched in the shower as well.

It's a very small bathroom so it takes me some time to maneuver around and take my clothes off, especially with only having one working hand but I get it done. I step inside the shower and let the steaming hot water run on me. The shower is always a great place to think, but it's a terrible place when you want to separate yourself from your thoughts. Because now is when they all have time to occupy my mind and instead of relaxation I'm feeling anxious, nervous, and afraid. So I decide not to stand still with the water falling on my body and make my sole purpose be to get clean. Still, I spend nearly thirty minutes straight scrubbing my body, too focused on not allowing my thoughts to wander that I lost track of time. So I'm startled but not surprised when there's a knock at the bathroom door.

I turn off the shower water, "yes?" I call.

"Are you alright in there?" The nurse who comes to check on me asks.

"Yes, I'm okay. I jut lost track of time. I'm coming out now."

"Alright, let me know if you need something okay, I'm one button away."

"Thank you so much."

I listen as her footsteps fade and the room door being shut. I wrap myself in a towel and before I leave the bathroom I look at myself in the mirror. My hair is wet and slicked back so you can tell how thin it really is. I haven't told anyone about my hair thinning yet because no one has noticed and I don't want them to notice. I'm hoping they don't before I can restore it so that they won't suspect a thing.
On the bright side, my face is getting fuller again. But I still have harsh eye bags and a scar on my forehead. It's just a fuller face with the same things going on.

I peek my head outside the bathroom door to make sure no one is there before stepping out. When I was at my home, I would take my time to get dressed but now I feel anxious to the fact that there is no lock. So, as fast as my one working hand could take me, I put on my moisturizer, deodorant, a black t shirt, black spandex knee shorts and black socks and that was nearly fifteen minutes. When I'm fully dressed, I call for the nurse to bring me some new sheets and then I change the sheets on the bed I sleep in. After I do that, I get back into the bed and turn on the Tv. That's usually my activities for the day. On most days, it's therapy first, but today the order is slightly switched. But my day consists of getting weighed, eating, watching Tv or my phone, taking a shower, and doing therapy— in no specific order.

It's been about an hour since I spoke to Tyler and he's still not back meaning he probably won't be back until later on tonight, he just told me what he did to give me false hope. Leah and Aj don't get out of school for another 2-3 hours. So I have to be alone for a little while longer. Ugh, I hate it here. Not much longer. Hopefully, not much longer. I need them to hurry up and realize my arm will never move. I've come to terms with it, and I need everyone else to as well so that I can go home and tend to everyone and stop feeling so stuck and useless here.

My heart jumps when there's a familiar knock on my door and I smile instantly. Finally. He pushes open the door and I can't contain the smile from spreading on my face.

"What you so happy about?" Tyler asks smiling at me.

"You're here, I was getting so bored," I sigh and sit up.

"I bet you were, I'm sorry you know I be so busy when I think I'm done with something then it's another thing," he gives me a hug and I hug him back— with my working arm.

"How did therapy go?"

"I didn't do it yet I have it at four. Uh, do you know when they're planning on letting me leave?"

He smiles, "soon. I know you ready to get out of here. I think you be out within a week or so."

I sigh. " 'or so' huh."

"Well, that's only if something happens like worse come to worse. But if you keep putting on that weight and doing your therapy for your arm you'll be outta here. Don't worry," he ruffles my hair and breaks away from the hug.

"Fuck, I forgot to pick up your food. Imma have them deliver it, I'm not tryna leave outta here again."

"That's okay, don't worry about it."

"Nah you gotta eat, lemme call them."

He dials a number.

"Yeah, bring a salad to the rehab. Like a garden salad, right Cam?"

I nod.

"Aight. Room 323"

He hangs up and takes the seat next to me.

"What you been doing all day, watching Tv?"

"Pretty much. I spoke to my brother today, he called." I say. Tyler makes an annoyed expression.

"Ew for what, he on that bullshit."

I frown in confusion at the hostility towards my brother but it dawns on me that he thinks I'm talking about Taishawn. No, never.

"Not Taishawn, I'm talking about my little brother Kyle."

He raises his eyebrows, "Oh shit, yeah that lil nigga. My fault. Aw, how is he?"

"He's okay, he just called to tell me how my mom was doing. She's not doing very well and my father is not being very considerate. I don't know what's going to happen God forbid something happens to my mother, but I'm not gonna leave him with them." I rant. I'm so worried about Kyle. I already know what I want to do with him. But I don't know how the process would go and if it would even work.

"He'll be just fine don't worry, we got him. It's good he got you to talk to."

"Yeah. I just wish my dad was a better father to him then there would be nothing to worry about."

"You can't change people. But you can be the change. Especially you, you something else."

I smile at him, "Thank you, I can say the exact same for you."

A thought comes across my mind, "Will you be here tomorrow?"

"Yeah I'll be here. Why, what's up?"

"Someone I know would really like to meet you. He's my hairdresser and he's your biggest fan. He's coming by tomorrow so I figured I would surprise him with your presence."

Tyler laughs, "feels good to be a walking present. That's no problem. What's his name?"

"Milan."

"Milan... Mila– wait, blasian gay nigga? Type skinny and wear makeup sometimes?"

"Yes, yeah that sounds like him." I frown in confusion.

"I know exactly who he is, his name pop up everywhere on my social media for years now. Even when I was just starting out. Had like ten thousand followers he was always under them comments cheering me on. I been wanting to see him at one of my shows or something but he never showed up to one or at least I ain't seen him...Wow it's a small ass world."

I smile happily, "Yeah it is. He'll be so happy to hear that you've been waiting on him. He really loves you."

That will be so nice to see them meet each other. I don't know how Milan will react but I hope he doesn't faint.

"What time the kids get out again?"

"Around three thirty," I say.

He nods slowly then pulls out his phone. "I'm boutta listen to some beats Cam, if you calling me just throw something hard at me. I won't throw it back. "

"Promise?"

"I cross my heart and hope to die." He exaggerates making a serious face that makes me laugh harder than intended. He's crazy.

"Okay," I laugh as he puts his headphones in and slouches in the chair. He closes his eyes and I can hear the beats playing loudly through the phone and he's mumbling some sort of freestyles over the beat, occasionally jotting something down in his notes app. I smile watching him do what he loves. Tyler was meant to be known by the world, it would be selfish not to share someone like him with everyone. It all worked itself out with his passion being rapping. And he's good at it too.

I stop watching him and pull out my own phone to text my kids, make sure they're okay.

Me: Hi baby, how's school going?

Leah: so far so good boutta go to gym class rn you okay?

Me: Yes, I'm fine. I'm with your uncle. I was just checking up on you. I'll see you later, love you so much ❤️❤️ tell your brother I love him too

Leah: i love you more see you later & alright i will ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I close my phone and place it on the desk. I guess I'll watch some more TV.

Right as I'm about to lean back and get comfortable there's a knock at the door. If it was the nurse she would open it by now, so it's probably the delivery. I look over at Tyler in hopes that he will answer the door, but he's too into his phone to notice. I sigh and hop off of the bed. Tyler looks up at me briefly before I start to walk to get the door and I give him a fake look of disapproval.

"Is it paid for already?" I ask and he nods.

"Yeah."

I'm probably looking all kinds of crazy, but hey, this is a rehab center after all isn't it? I pull open the door before they could get impatient.

I expected to be face to face with a person, but instead I'm looking at a clothed torso. Wow, he's tall. I take a step back but it's not enough to be respectful and greet the man with a smile. I prepare to tilt my head up until my eye catches his hands. One is holding a white plastic bag. The other is holding a bunch of pretty flowers. Pretty blue and orange flowers, my favorite colors. I smile at them and my eye catches his hand gripping them. Huge hand, long fingers, clean short nails, and completely tattooed. There's a ring around his left ring finger. I frown at all of the traits that I intake from his hand. Wow that's amazing. This mans hands are so much like—

Suddenly I can't move. And I'm too afraid to look up. The way my heart is pounding up against my chest lets me know in any second now I'm going to have a panic attack. If I look up and this is who I think it is, I am going to have a panic attack. Let me relax. It can't be, I'm overthinking it. There are many people in the world and sometimes we come across those who are similar to one another.

But this is too similar. God, I'm so afraid to look. Because part of me is hoping that my suspicions are true, and I don't want to be let down. I don't know if there's silence all around me or if I'm tuned out. I don't know. I'm breathing heavy now, this isn't good. And I make the worst and best choice I probably could have done in this moment– I take three steps back and slowly look up.

My eyes meet his. My jaw drops to the floor. My heart is on its way out of my chest. I let out a noise from the pit of my stomach, kind of like a scream, a cry that has never come from me. Then I make it again, and soon enough I find myself not being able to hold myself up. I'm going to black out. Someone needs to pinch me and wake me up. I'm going crazy. Oh my god. Oh my god. This can't be real life.

I reach my hand out slowly, and hesitantly see if my hands will go through him or if this is real life.
When my hand collides with his torso I let out another scream and now I'm sobbing and wrapping my arms around him, holding him close to me like if I let go, he will disappear. He bends down and buries his face in my neck and soon he's carrying me in his arms.

"I got you babyboy. I'm right here."

ANTHONY POV (😭)
One hour earlier

"You good bro?"

I stare at my hands in the backseat of this car. I barely hear this nigga talking to me but he put his hand on my shoulder and I look at him.

"You good?" He asks. I nod briefly.

Tyler sighs, "I know you upset. But, don't focus on that too much. He hasn't been happy in a minute. When you see him focus on y'all first."

I exhale and look out this car window. I got yet to know what my baby was doing in the hospital now in rehab. I can't see him hurt like that or else I promise imma go right back where I came from and I don't want that. Not after being away from him for so long and not after all my brother did for me.

Tyler pats my back, "come on let's focus on the good shit. We made it this far. Right?"

I stay looking out the window just watching everything. I ain't been outside in a while. I been out of the prison since last month, but I been upstate on fake house arrest cause it want even a house just a room in a big ass building with government people in it. And for that month I was doing some work, making some money. Tyler been tryna get me out this prison since I got in, it took a good fifteen years but he did it. I tried to get him to stop, nigga was spending mad money. And I don't like people doing anything for me, family or not. I'm not worth all of that. I did what I did and I was willing to pay the consequences for it. That being said, I missed my family like crazy. And I still do. Only person I seen is Tyler, and first time I saw him was about three months ago. There's nothing I could say to him that would amount to what he was willing to do for me.

"Cant believe it finally happened yo. Now we got this ugly nigga back home. I can't believe it. every time I look at you it's a surreal feeling." He smiles at me and shakes his head.

"You mad quiet. You nervous?" He asks. And truth be told, yeah I might be a little bit. I don't know what to expect. I don't know if imma get mad and ruin shit or what. And when I get mad I don't know when to stop. That was my main problem in prison. I ain't know when to stop. Taking a nigga life was always my goal. I can't do that no more. But I can't control that, literally. I just don't want to hurt him. Not anymore.

I shrug, "I guess."

"Listen, you not gon make the same mistakes as you did before. Don't let your mind go to everything negative that could happen."

The car pulls up to the curb.

"Aight, you sure you good?"

I nod and begin to open the car door "I'm straight."

"Alright, you know what to do. Imma see you later though. I love you bro."

I step out "love you too. I'll text you."

"Alright— damn nigga you really got swole as fuck, remind me not to get you mad I can't fight back against that. Shit, see you later." He says when I stand up out the car. When I ain't did shit but push ups for years that was bound to happen. Everything I ate was high calorie shit and after I would consume it I would immediately get to push ups and sit ups as a stress reliever. That was almost every day. Overtime my body swole up and turned into muscle. It is what it is.

I walk down the familiar street and turn into the barbershop. Yeah, I'm bout to get a shape up. I look like shit with my hairline like this and I don't want to look like I just got outta prison. My hair is at the middle of my back now, no braids. I'm not worried about it, kind of used to it now.

Because it's a weekday in the middle of the day the shop is empty so I'm in and out of there in less than twenty five minutes. Tyler called me telling me to pick up a salad for Cameron. Just the sound of his name knowing that I could see him right now got my mind all mixed up. That boy makes me a bitch, but I wouldn't change shit. Can't wait to see him. I never wanted something so bad.

I'm walking down the block to find somewhere I could buy him a salad, and I pass by a flower stand and not long after I'm walking away with blue and orange flowers for him. I come across a pizza shop and I know they got to have what he want. Soon as I walk inside I feel like people is staring at me. I ain't even in my old hood, but I'm probably being paranoid. I don't gotta lay low or nothing like that, all of that is figured out. But for my own reasons I don't want to be all high key and shit.

I throw my hoodie over my head and head up to the counter to order his food. They done with the order in like five minutes and I'm out and walking the rest of the way to the rehab. Id be lying if I said my heart wasn't beating fast. I never felt no anticipation like this in my life. All I want right now is to see him. And hold him, kiss him. Ain't nobody in this world who could make me nervous but him. And imma make my way right to him instead of blacking on these bitches in the street right now who keep pulling they children close to them every time I approach them. I'm not gon worry about that, it'll be a lot of that but it's worth it. Like I said, if it's not my baby opinion I don't give a fuck.

When I see the sign for the rehab center I pick up my pace. This is taking too long. Each step feels like a thousand. Once I reach the door it feels like thirty minutes went pass even though I was only three minutes away. I pull open the door and I already know the room, I just wanna go straight up to him. But I know I can't cause no trouble. I gotta do it the right way. I approach the desk and the white lady behind there alone looking at me like I'm gon do something to her.

"Y-Yes how may I—"

"I'm seeing Cameron Jackson. Room 323."

"Okay, uh, I-ID please?"

I pull out my new ID that I just had gotten made not too long ago. I put it on the desk and she takes one look at it then gives me a visitors pass.

"Okay! All good to go. Go ahead. Those are beautiful flowers by the way."

I walk off. I'm not gone take the elevator. I go right to the stairs and while I'm walking up, I text Tyler that I'm coming up right now. I got the phone I'm using from some of the money I was making while in prison and out, but that's another long story. He sends "ok"

It's been years since I seen the boy that makes my world go around. I don't know what imma do once I lay eyes on him. While I was in prison, not able to hear his voice or see him, sometimes it felt like he was just part of my imagination. Like he's too good to be true. Like all those experiences were just a long ass dream and I really been there for my entire life.

Now I'm staring at the room number 323. I'm feening to knock but at the same time it feels like I cant. I don't know if it's nerves, or if I'm genuinely scared of what's gonna happen. Nothing bad I hope, but right now this whole situation is unreal to me. But let me stop being pussy and see him. This is all I've ever wanted. Ever. I knock three times on the door and I can't hear if there's any noise on the other side over the sound of my heart beat. I sniff and look up, waiting for somebody to answer. Hopefully this is the right room.

I look at the door and I watch the doorknob turn in what feels like slow motion. It swings open and when I'm not eye level to nobody, I look down and there he is. Can't no words explain how I feel in this moment. I lick my lips and tuck them in because I already feel like im gon start reacting with my heart and not my mind. It's nothing to cry about, this is what I wanted. But seeing him got my body feeling all kinds of ways.

He doesn't notice me. And I want to say something, but I don't know what to say. I can't form any words that could express how I'm feeling. I watch him take a couple steps back and he looks at my hands for a while. He almost looks up but his body gets tense and then I'm hearing the pace of his breathing pick up. The longer I stand here and watch him, the more this pressure builds up in my chest. I don't know what the pressure is.

Finally Cameron takes three steps back and tilts his head up slightly and my eyes meet those oceans I dreamed of every single night. I knew him in person first, but in this moment it feels surreal like my drawings came to life, like the perfect dream. The face I fell in love with. The face I'll do anything for.

The tears in his eyes start pooling and the look on his face makes me worried, he looks like he can't breath. He doesn't say anything and I still can't find the right thing to say. His jaw drops and then he lets out this cry that reaches my core. I need him in my arms right now, but I feel like I can't move. My baby reaches out and slowly touches me and when he does he lets out the same scream and this time it hurts me. His cry says a million words. And it's my fault.

Cameron wraps his arms around me and my whole body gives in and now I'm not froze up. Reality sets in and immediately I bend down and hold my baby, taking notice of his arm that's in a cast. I be lying if I said the sight didn't already get me heated. But I got him to focus on too. He's sobbing in my sweatshirt, clutching the back of it and I start blinking away my emotions so it don't gotta be two of us breaking down. I'm feeling so many ways at once but my head gotta stay screwed on right for him. No more leaving him vulnerable.

It's a natural reaction for me to pick him up and hold him in my arms and he continues to sob on my shoulder, now wrapping his arm around my neck.

"I got you baby boy, I'm right here." I say in his ear and he starts to cry harder and hyperventilate so badly that it's got me worried. It sounds like he lost the breath from his body and he's trying desperately to get it back. I feel his chest heaving up and down against mine. The sounds of him gasping painfully in my ear is twisting at my stomach. The fuck did I do to him. I caress his back and his gasps start calming down a little bit, but his cries get harder.Finally being able to touch him after years is a unexplainable type of feeling. This boy is really my heartbeat. My everything. Without him it felt like my heart wasn't beating, now he got it racing a mile a minute.

He picks his head up off of my chest and looks me in the eyes with his glossy ones. Beautiful as ever. "It's you. It's really you," he smiles at me as his tears stream down his face. He holds my face in his hand and I can't help from getting emotional like I was trying to contain. He's really here in my arms. I been dreaming of something like this for so long.

We both get the same idea and lean in to each other and I feel chills run down my spine when I feel his lips for the first time in forever. I deepen the kiss and pull his head as close as he can get. His lips are so soft, just how I remembered and dreamed about. God knows this is long overdue.

"H-How? How are you here?!" He sobs on my lips and before I could respond he presses his lips against mine again. We part and I kiss him all over his face— his neck, his cheek, his forehead, his pretty lips. His breath gets shaky and more tears roll down his cheeks and he looks into my eyes. He whines and then slowly rests his face against mine, our noses touching. I clench my jaw when I feel my eyes start tearing up. I don't want to shed no tears but I can't not no matter how hard I try. Nothing else matters to me now. My world is in my arms. I can love him like I always wanted to. Like he deserves. I missed him more than I ever missed anyone. I wanted him more than I have ever wanted anyone and he's with me right here right now and till the day I die. There's no words to explain the way I feel right now. None. Nobody could understand this feeling.

He rests his hand on my face and wipes my eyes with his thumb. I clear my throat and look up, trying to control myself. I put my lips on his again and he closes his eyes and I feel his body relax in my arms. His tears are soaking my face and I don't mind. He can always cry on me for the rest of my life. I part from our kiss and plant one on his forehead. I look into his eyes and he looks back at me.

"Don't look at me." He sobs and looks away. I grab his head and turn it back towards me. "Look at me beautiful."

"I-I can't, I'm going to faint," he cries and more tears are coming out of his eyes.

"Stop talking like that and look at me," I kiss his lips. He looks at me and breaths deeply.

"I got you now. Baby I'm not leaving you again. I promise."

"Please don't. Please," he begs.

"I won't. I promise."

"H-How did you get out? How did this happen?" His question is muffled from him crying on my shoulder but I hear him loud and clear. I look at Tyler who's looking at us with red eyes and a smile. All the credit goes to him. Without him, I'd of still been locked up and serving the rest of my life in prison instead of being with mines. This nigga went hard for me, it took him a long time and a lot of money. And he ain't have to do it, but he did. I didn't want him to do it. Yet, he did. I remember the first time he showed up after I wasn't allowed no visits. I still remember feeling like I ain't wanna do this shit no more, like what was the purpose of this shit if I can't even fulfill what I'm supposed to do and that's protecting my family. If I ain't doing that then I'm useless and that's just how it is, I ain't got nothing to offer this world. But then he showed up. It was like a sign or something. I never told him what I was feeling, but I guess subconsciously he knew especially in that moment. And he told me indirectly that he would be working to get me out, but he wasn't sure if it would work or not. But because he was so determined, even when shit would be getting in the way, he never stopped. And it turned out like this.

I put him down and nod towards Tyler.

"Tyler? When? How? Wh-what? Tyler oh my gosh," he sighs and hugs him, "you didn't tell me anything. I don't know what to say,"

"You know I would never let y'all go that long without each other. No way. I hate seeing you sad, you know that. I had to do something."

"Why didn't you want to tell me?"

That was all me. I ain't want him to know I was coming because I didn't want to give him false hope. Tyler had more faith in all of this than I ever did. I had rather him operate on his regular schedule instead of wondering when imma come back to him or if I will come home. And then if I ended up never showing up, that would hurt him. Like I said, I'm not tryna hurt him no more.

"Ant told me to keep my mouth shut. He didn't wanna let you down, and he's right. But everything worked out."

"But how?"

"The government plus money plus illegal shit plus a whole lot of convincing and bribing. Let's put it like that. But don't worry yourself about that too much, that's a story for another time. You just worry about y'all."

Cameron pouts, and after a long pause says, "I love you so much," he whimpers and begins crying harder.

"I love you too CamCam."

I watch intently as my baby and my brother hug, and I'd be lying if I said there is any other place I rather be than right here. I'd never say that shit. These two I'm looking at right now, shit, I don't know where I'd be if it wasn't for them. Dead probably. It ain't really hard to say. Tyler been my backbone since we was kids and Cameron been my purpose ever since he came into my life. I don't deserve either of them, and I'm just being real. I got lucky.

They separate from the hug and Cameron turns around to me with a smile. Before anything can happen, Tyler speaks.

"I'll be back y'all, gonna go pick up Zaniyah and the twins," he smiles at me, "Wow, I love you nigga. I'm so happy you're back."

"Love you too," I say.

"Aight ya, be right back." He leaves and closes the door behind him.

I watch him stare at me from where he's at. I make it my business to approach him and I smile when I notice him getting red. "Still?" I laugh and grab his hand. I bend down and kiss his jaw a couple times. I step back and look in his eyes and he smiles at me with that same blush all over his face. I wipe the excess tears from his eyes even though I know that they probably gon keep coming.

He lets out a sigh and his eyes scan my face, then he smiles. "You're so handsome." He exhales again and starts blushing. "Don't look at me like that."

I don't know how I'm looking at him like but when I look at him all I can think about is how much I love him. I guess the message is clear on my face.

"I love you so much, you don't understand" I say and start feeling my throat close up. I kiss my teeth in annoyance at myself, all this fucking crying.

"Oh Anthony, I love you more." He doesn't hold back his tears and begins to cry in my hoodie. "I missed you so much. I didn't know what to do anymore without you. I was so lost," he explains through his crying. I pick him up again and sit down on one of those chairs with his legs around me. "Every night I thought of you. I prayed that something like this would happen, where you would come back home to me. I can't believe it actually did." He smiles again.

I kiss his lips, "I got you forever now. Fuck all that."

I wipe more tears from his eyes and they flutter closed. Wow, I aint capture how beautiful he really is whenever I drew him. The drawings ain't have me feel like this. I take my baby hand and place it on my chest over my heart. "You feel that? You feel the way my heart beating?"

He nods.

"That's all you. You run my heart." I say genuinely. I'm wrapped around his finger, I know that much.

He takes my hand and places it over his heart, "mine too."

We smile at each other and I trail my hands up and down his sides slowly. He puts his hand in my hair and pulls at it, "your hair is beautiful."

"You like it this long?"

"Yes, I wish I could braid it." He says sadly. I'm confused for a second but then it hits me.

I glance at the cast around his arm.

"But-but it's okay though," he adds when he sees that I'm not smiling no more. I stare at him.

"What happened with that."

He sighs, "nothing Anthony. I just- I had- I fell. I fell."

I stare at him because I'm not gonna ask again. I asked once and I expect an honest answer.

"Don't lie to me."

He sighs, "I um, I had a stroke a–"

"A stroke?"

"Yeah.. but- but I'm okay now. Everything's okay it's just my arm that's still recovering."

"Still, you too young for that. How did that happen? Huh?" I lower my head to look at him because he keeps tryna break the eye contact.

"Huh?" I ask again.

"I don't know, Ant, I don't know," he sniffles and his voice shakes.

"Alright. We aint gotta talk about it right now." I pull his head to my shoulder. I got a soft spot for his tears, I don't want to press him. But that don't change the fact that I'm still worried, upset, sad, at the fact that he's this young having strokes it don't make no fucking sense. He supposed to be the healthy one. I don't like this shit at all. "We ain't gotta talk about it." I exhale and rub his back.

I don't want to make him cry. But there's a reason for everything. He don't eat crazy, he takes care of himself, so I don't understand how this stroke come out of nowhere. I know at most he has anxiety. But that's different.

I didn't say nothing about it to him, but I can tell he lost weight. I ain't tell him because I know how he is, he gon think that's I'm bringing it up because it's a problem but that's not the issue. He will always look beautiful to me. But, if this ain't healthy weight loss then I'm not for it. I don't give a fuck how much he weighs, from what I know he's always fluctuating between weights. But like I said, if it's not healthy then something gotta be done about it. And now with him saying he had a stroke and all this being in the hospital yeah, I'm suspicious. Ima figure it out, no more bullshit.

"I'm sorry," he sniffles and looks me in my eyes.

"For what?"

"For crying like that, I just really—"

"A apology wasn't necessary. I hate when you do that shit."

"Okay, I'm sorry," he nods his head and he ain't even catch that he's apologizing again. I sigh and rub his back. While his head is laid on my shoulder I kiss his neck and jawline. He begins to mimic me and also kisses my neck and jawline.

"If something is wrong, I'm gonna find out. Whether you know what it is or not," I mumble against his skin. I mean that with everything in me. He sighs and uses his able hand to rub behind my neck. He pulls himself back and pecks my lips again.

"I missed your face, your voice, everything so much. So much," he turns red and then there goes that pretty spark in his eyes again. I don't know if he's trying to change the topic or if he's really just distracted by me being here. It can be a little of both. "I waited for you all these years. I never gave up. Never. Even if people tried to tell me to move on from you, I couldn't. I didn't want that." He looks into my eyes then looks down when I hold my stare for long. I pick his head up.

"I know," I smile at him and I watch him shift in my lap and then turn his head away.

"What you turning all red about?" I smile at him and he smiles back and hides his face in my neck. "Hm?"

"Nothing. I'm not turning red." He mumbles.

"You sure?" I chuckle when he doesn't answer me.

"Can I hold on to you like this forever?" He asks quietly.

"Whatever you want baby."

We get to kissing for the hundredth time today and that's no where near the last. Kissing him is supposed to feel new because clearly I ain't kiss nobody in five years. But now when I kiss him outside of a prison, I feel like we back when we was teenagers, it feels like I'm picking up from that point.   Because the truth is that's where we really left off. Yeah he came to see me in prison. But we wasn't able to keep our relationship growing like we could've if I wasn't there. Now, it's no stopping wherever this could go.

"Hold on, I have to use the bathroom."

I slowly drop my hands from his back and he swings his legs over and stands up. Soon as he turns around, my eyes trail down to one thing. I'm not tryna make shit sexual so fast, but you know I'm still gonna have my thoughts. And I'm still gon look. He just had to have them shorts on. Shit, I'm lucky I know that much. I lick my lips as he walks away into the bathroom. Damn.

I check my phone to see if Tyler said anything and he did. He said he's picking up my babies from school right now. I miss them like crazy, I can't wait to see them and hold them. I know they grew up a lot, for kids five years makes a big ass difference. I just hope it don't hurt to see how big they got and I missed it all. Last time I seen them they were ten years old missing teeth and shit. A lot can change from then.

I hear the toilet flush and sink turn on and then off and shortly after Cam comes out of the bathroom.

I eye him, "Come here." I mumble. He smiles and stands in front of me.

"Why are you looking at me like that," he blushes. I pull his body closer and slowly caress his sides.

"Like what?" I look up at him and trail my hands down the rest of the way and grab his ass. Feels just as good as it looks. He bites his lip in when I rub and caress him. I pull him closer and he places a hand on my shoulder and I keep my hand in the same spot. I kiss on the exposed part of his waistline and continue to play with his ass. I detach my lips from his waist and look up at him again. He lowers his head and kisses me all slow and shit, he matching my energy. I sit up and follow his lips when he starts to pull back and he smiles in the kiss.

"You tempting me," I grunt against his lips. He stands up straight and before he could do anything else I turn him around and pull him close to me again.

"What are you doing?" He giggles when I lay my head on his behind.

I smile, "Did you miss me?"

"Of course, so much."

"Not you baby," I reassure and he turns around and gives me a confused look then he realizes that I'm talking to something else. He laughs and pulls out of my grip.

"Stop it," he hits me and smiles and I chuckle at him. He laughs again with a sigh, "I love you Anthony."

"I love you." I make eye contact with him, at least try to since he can't do that shit or else he breaks out into blushing and gets all shy. I stand up. It's type hot in here but I ain't realize because I been focused on what's important. I take my hoodie off and put it on the chair so now I just got on a black t-shirt.

Cameron gazes up at me with glossy eyes. I guess now it's his turn for his eyes roam my body like I did him. "Wow," he sighs and then catches himself and starts acting all shy and embarrassed and shit. "Sorry, I'm sorry." He saying sorry but he hasn't stopped looking yet. And yet again, there's nothing to be sorry for. He takes it upon himself to reach his hand out and touch my arms and his small hand can't fit halfway around them. He rubs each arm up and down and he keeps doing these quick inhales like he's losing breath.

"You good?" I ask and he nods quickly. He continues to caress my arms. Then he puts his small soft hand in my shirt and I feel them going over my stomach, touching every single ab. Like I said, all I ever did was workout to relieve stress and I was stressed every fucking day. I ain't have no desire to be like this, I could care less. But if my baby likes me like this then that's good. And I can tell he does because the way he's acting right now is telling me so.

He takes his hand out of my shirt and blushes hard. "Wow," he whispers, "Lucky me," he cheeses.

Nah, lucky me.

Cameron and I spend then next hour focusing really on hugging and kissing one another. Even though we both know we got so much to talk about, right now it's just the time to enjoy each other company. Because God knows shit that we got to talk about could ruin our whole mood.

"I hated to think about you in that prison cell all alone," Cameron says all muffled from his lips being pressed against my shirt. "I knew that I was feeling extremely lonely and I could only imagine how you felt."

I don't want to relive all that time again. Most hard part about it was not being able to see my family. I could deal with niggas in there trying to spark shit up or talking shit, I could hold my own. Especially when they put me in solitary confinement, I didn't care. Only thing that ever affected me was not being able to be a active husband and father. I'm not scared of nobody, only thing I was ever scared of was missing out on supporting my family. But being in there with all that built up aggravation didn't help the issues I already face with anger. Shit made me snap out of myself and always got the intent to kill. I can't say I regret any of the shit that I did in there because each and every one of them deserved that. But I know, then came the punishments and they knew how much my family meant to me, so they used them as the punishment. In that sense, I wish I never did it. It wouldn't have to be this new feeling seeing each other.

I could only give myself this, I give people chances that I never gave them before. I give them chances to walk away and leave me the fuck alone. Because I know just how overboard I can get, but at that point it's no stopping me until I'm satisfied and I'm never really satisfied. I gave that nigga a chance who was talking about my daughter. I tried to hold myself back. But there's always this part of me that wants to see niggas dead and paying for the shit they do. And that's what happened. And no, I don't regret shit.

"Don't worry about that," I want him to focus on where we at right now and so do I. I don't want to go back to that mindset. My mood been okay all day but one wrong thought will fuck it up. I don't want that for my family. I want them to get the best side of me all the time. I don't want to go back into being upset and annoyed all the time. I don't want to put that energy on them because for all of that I shoulda stayed where I was at.

"Whatever you say," he leans his head on my chest and grabs a hold of my hand.

There's two knocks at the door and it opens immediately. Off rip I start getting nervous because I don't know who or what I'm expecting to see walking through that door, but it opens and it's just Tyler. None of my babies or my sister.

"Ew what y'all doing in here," he asks and sits down all out of breath.

"Are you alright?" Cameron asks and Ty nods and holds one finger up while dropping his head.

"Yeah I'm good, I just ran after your evil daughter she stole my fruit roll up."

The fuck.

"Where she at?" I ask. I wanna see my kids.

"She at the little hospital store with Zaza. I wanted to make sure y'all wasn't up here doing nothing crazy before they came in here," he exhales. "How y'all feeling?"

"I can't explain it, but I love you forever and ever, not that I didn't before," Cam says.

"Wowww wiggas only love me when they lil boo comes back home. It's a tragic situation," he fake cries. I shake my head at him.

"Stop it," Cameron laughs.

Tyler leans back on the bed "Hey y'all tryna leave this rehab center tonight, I mean it is the first time in fifteen years the whole family been together."

I shrug. I really don't care. Long as I'm with them I'm fine.

"Can I leave?" Cam asks.

"Don't worry about that, you could do what the fuck you want," Ty says. He's right. Matter fact I don't want him in this shit at all, he should be home and if he gotta do some shit with his arm can't they get somebody to come to him? There's mad old and weird ass people in this shit he don't need to be here.

Tyler gets up and starts touching my hair "Zaza gon braid this shit for you. Ya head looks mad big like that," He pushes my head and laughs at me.

"All you do is talk shit," I say boredly.

"All you do is big head."

"You don't have a big head," Cameron kisses my cheek.

"Wowwww just like that? You not even tryna be low about it," Tyler shakes his head, "it's been a good run for us Cammy. Sad to see you switch sides."

While they talk I watch the door intently. Waiting for my babies to walk in. "Are you okay?" Cameron asks like ten minutes into me just staring. Before I answer him the door knob turns. I sit up and Cameron gets up from my lap so I could stand up. I'm feening but I haven't seen my kids faces in years. I ain't heard their voice in months.

The door pushes open and before I could see anyone I hear the sounds of a female laugh. Then seconds later standing right in front of me is my sister and my beautiful babygirl who clearly ain't a baby no more. I knew I would feel a pain knowing that I missed so much, because she's all grown up. But she's still my baby.

She sees me first and she scrunches up her face with attitude written all over it like she don't know who I am.

"Um, who—" then her face drops the same way her papa's did and she drops all the bags in her hand and squeals, "DADDY!!" She jumps up and down for a second and then runs into my arms. I pick her up and she lays her head on my shoulder and cries. And I ain't want to do no more crying, but holding my daughter and knowing the bullshit that happened to her while I was gone got me feeling all mixed up it's like I got tears because I'm mad as fuck. And that's a whole other situation, because trust me it's gon get dealt with. I put that on everything. Because how the fuck you gonna hurt a little girl, let alone mine? Nah, fuck that. Whoever did that shit is getting they dick cut off, and I wish I was exaggerating. And nobody's gonna know about it, and I'm gonna get away with it.

When I heard about that I wanted to kill every nigga in my sight because all I could see and hear was the shit they say about females in general and I knew they would have the audacity to come for my little girl if they ain't know who she was, with that hypothetical situation I wanted every nigga dead. She ain't never got nothing to worry about ever again though. I wish a nigga would look her way.

"Hey babygirl," I kiss her head over and over. She picks her head off of my shoulder and looks at me with a teary smile. Wow, she looks just like him. That's why she so beautiful.

"Look at how big you got, what happened to my little baby with no teeth?" I say and I know I sound light hearted but I'm really asking myself that question. I missed all of that. At least I ain't missing her sixteenth birthday. "You so beautiful princess."

She smiles at me, "Thank you daddy," then out the blue she screams, " ugh how is this happening?" She squeals and holds my face.

Tyler comes in, "that's a long story for another time y'all. Proceed."

She continues to cry, "I missed you so much. I thought I would never see you again."

"I missed you too princess, I love you so much," I kiss her and then she lays her head on my chest.

"I love you too," she hugs me and hooks onto me like she got intentions of staying there forever. I wouldn't mind that. "Oh my god, this is the best day of my life. I missed you so much daddy, I know I said it already but like this is real life and I'm trying to make sense of it."

"I know, but I'm here." I wrap my arms around her tighter and kiss her cheek.

I turn around and see Cameron sobbing and gasping and struggling to wipe his tears away. Tyler's on his way to help him but I still suggest Taleah go head and soothe him.

"Go help your papa babygirl, Imma come hold you in a second," I put her down and then I hug my little sister.

"Ahh! I don't know how I had no clue about this," she smiles and squeezes me, "my big brother finally back home. Thank you Jesus."

"Yeah, I missed you Za."

"I missed you too nigga. So much, I'm shaken up right now but you know you taught me to be like you, thugs don't cry, remember?"

I laugh a little, "Yeah I remember. You doing better than me."

She laughs.

"How's mom and them?"

"She shrugs, "Mom is fine. She's still the same old mom. Hayden and Lauren I'm not really close with them so I don't know what's going on with that, but I have them on social media and they seem to be doing alright. Lauren is away at college and Hayden is doing whatever it is he's doing."

"Ok." I nod.

"I'm so glad you're back home though. You should visit mom and let her know that you're here. She would love to see you."

"Yeah," I say. I'll visit her, but I don't want her disrespecting my family because then I'm gonna leave and I won't come back. Zaniyah reaches her hand up and gets on her tippy toes to touch my hair.

"Let's do something about this long ass shit. You want to trim it? I travel with my scissors."

"Yeah. Keep it long, Cameron likes it," I say.

"Well excuse me, tryna look cute for your mans, okay."

"Don't say it like that," I shake my head and she laughs at me.

"Speaking of tryna look cute, that's what you got all toned and muscular for? Because if it means anything you do look a smidge more decent than usual."

"Nah, but thank you." She tells me to sit down in a seat and she gets to trimming and then braiding my hair into the style I usually had it in. I ain't had my hair braided for a long ass time. Last time I got it done was maybe ten years ago, sometimes the guards would let Cameron do my hair for me in the couple minutes that we had together. But I kept them shits in for mad long because they started blowing mines and wouldn't let him touch me for longer than a couple seconds. So eventually I took them out and just kept my hair back. For all that time, i definitely could've learned how to do them myself but it wasn't necessary for me.

While Zaniyah braids my hair, I motion Leah to me and have her sit on my lap so I could hold her, she kept staring at me from the other side of the room. I kiss her forehead and hold her close to my chest.

"How's school?" I ask her.

"It's fine. Im bout to finish the marking period with straight A's." She says. See that's what I want to hear.

"Good girl."

I hold her hand and close my eyes and they closed for a good ten minutes and when I open them I smile at Cameron who's smiling at us with love all in his eyes. Then I frown. Nah, wait.

"Where's my son?" I ask no one specifically.

"I think he went somewhere with his friends," Leah says.

"Okay, somewhere where?"

"I don't really know."

"So who knows where he's at?" I ask and look around and no one is answering me. "Tyler?"

He shakes his head, "I ain't gon lie bro, when I pulled up to the school it was just Leah waiting for me. Aj must have left school early."

"You seen your brother leave school?" I ask Leah and she stays silent and looks around.

"I asked you a question." I say. She looks at me quickly and nods.

"Sorry daddy. He left around fourth period. He said he'd be back at the end of the day but he wasn't."

"For what? Fuck is he leaving school in the middle of the day for like he got business being anywhere else but in school." That ain't sitting right with me, fuck no.

"He honestly probably went to Zyier's house."

"Who?" I frown.

"His friend." Leah says. So he skipping school to be with friends. Aight.

"Y'all tried to call him?"

"Yeah, a couple times. But he only sent back text messages saying that he's good. He didn't pick up," She says.

"Did you Tyler?" I ask and he nods.

"Yeah cause I wanted to bring him over here but he ain't pick up."

Zaniyah finishes with my hair and I thank her. I lift my baby off of me and stand up, because now I'm a little aggravated.

"Is this the regular? Or is it just today." I really gotta know before I get myself too mad.

Tyler sighs, "Not for a minute now, he's usually always been there every time I go to pick them up. But I don't know what happened today."

"Cameron, try call him." It would've been a different story if he chose to do whatever it is he's doing after school, but that skipping shit is what really got me tight. I don't want none of my kids to be another me and don't graduate high school over small shit like cutting class. Cameron looks hesitant but he doesn't question me. I take his phone and put it on speaker. It rings until it goes to voicemail. So I call again and this time he picks up the phone. But he doesn't say shit, just stays silent on the other line.

"Aj?" Cameron takes his phone back.

"Yeah."

"Are you on your way back?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, how far are you?"

"Five."

"Okay sweetie, see you soon," Cameron hangs up and smiles nervously. "He's coming..." I nod slowly and rub my fingers across my chin. I clear my throat and sit down on the edge of a seat next to Cameron with my hands clasped, waiting these supposed five minutes for Aj to pop up.

"...you look handsome with the braids," Cameron says quietly and puts his hand around mine. I really don't feel like speaking right now, so I just give him a kiss. He sighs and starts rubbing on me, he could probably tell I'm irritated now. Shit was all too perfect, I should've known something was up.

It takes fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes until the door starts opening. I can't find the desire to stand up to hug him when he comes in, so I stay in my seat. Seeing Taleah hurt me, but she's still small. She still looks like a baby in my eyes. But my heart sinks when I see my son walk in because that's really not the same little boy from ten years ago. Yeah obviously, but he walks in, almost six feet tall dressed in all black from head to toe, reminding me of myself. I can't see his face, and he can't see mine since his back is turned to me.

"Aj," I say. He's taking too long to get himself settled and I want to see him. He pulls out headphones from his ears and turns around. He stares at me in a way his sister did when she got here and I look right back at him. Quick enough he clears his throat.

"Daddy? How—" his face changes and I know what's coming. And as bad as I want to hold him and kiss him, I'm not moving past the fact that he skipped school yet.

"Why you skipping school Aj," I begin and wait for an answer. I stare into his eyes and he doesn't say anything, just looks at me looking shocked and uneasy.

"Answer the question."

He clears his throat and takes off the hoodie from his head. "I-I just did."

"Listen to me. Because I'm not gonna say it again," I begin "I don't know what you was doing before this now. But imma make myself clear. I hear that you skipping school and leaving in the middle of the day again, me and you gonna have a problem. Let this be the last time, I don't want to have to talk about it no more. Understand me?"

He shifts on his feet, "y-yeah."

"What did you skip school for? Where were you?" I had no plans to be pressing my son first moment I see him. But it's necessary and discipline is my priority when it comes to my kids, love comes after. That's the difference between me and Cameron.

"I just left, I ain't wanna be there no more," He answers quickly.

"And where did you go?"

"Nowhere."

"Nowhere?"

"Daddy I didn't go nowhere crazy, I just left and was walking around I went to the park then I went home I'm just now coming back, that's it. I swear."

"Come here," I rub my hands over my face with a sigh. He moves like he's nervous but he comes to me and I smell it all over him, I could smell that shit under whatever cologne he got on. I started smoking when I was thirteen years old, he can't get that past me. I don't give a fuck what I choose to do or what I used to do, that's my business but if I don't want the same for my son that's that.

"You was smoking weed?" I ask him. He looks away from me with glossy eyes and says nothing.

"Answer the fucking question."

He clears his throat and mumbles.

"Speak up."

"Yeah."

"So you already lying to me?"

He doesn't say anything and my heart breaks when I see a tear come out his eye and he puts his hand on his face and tries to secretly wipe it away. But I don't condone none of the shit he pulled today. I wouldn't have to be doing him like this right now if he was doing what he was supposed to be doing.

"If you don't got plans to tell me the truth, don't waste your breath saying shit to me. Not bout to stand here and waste my fucking time," I mumble "you skipping school to smoke weed. Imma let you rock with that right now, but say goodbye to all that shit. Whatever you got on you imma give you a minute to flush it down the toilet and if I find something else I will smack the shit out of you."

He stays quiet. And the whole room is quiet.

"Am I talking to myself?"

"Okay," he mumbles and sniffs. "Can I go?"

"No. What did I just tell you to do."

"Daddy I promise I don't got nothing else on me I'm not lying, you can check I'm not lying to you," he reaches into his pockets to show me that they're empty. I stare him up and down for a while trying to detect if I feel like he's telling the truth. Ima put my trust in him and believe what he's telling me, because he can't be dumb enough to lie to me twice. So I let my guard down. And now I can focus on showing him love.

I grab my sons hand and pull him down so he could sit in my lap. I don't care how big he is, I know he's not a baby no more but he's mine. And that's all that matters to me.

I kiss his cheek then bring his head closer to my chest. "I love you and I missed you like crazy, you know that. But I'm not fucking with no bullshit," I wipe his eyes and kiss him again. He's lucky that this ain't a regular day. This is my first time seeing him in five years, so I'm not as angry as I would be.

It's quiet for a while, me just holding my son. I call Leah over do I could hold her too. I missed these kids. I never got the chance to be the father I wanted to be. Now I'm in my kids life and I could make up for the years that I wasn't there for them. They don't ever gotta worry about not having a father who got their back. Cameron don't got the same presence I do, that's not a secret. With me here now there's balance and I could at least put in work the rest of the way until they're adults and choose they own way of living.

"How you got so big in five years. Looking like a grown ass man." I look at my son. He's being quiet and I know it's because I got on him. But that's alright with me, as long as he knows I'm serious. He smiles a little bit though.

"How you got out?" He mumbles.

"Your Uncle Tyler."

From the corner of my eye I see Cameron getting up. He stands in front of us and holds his phone up with tears all in his eyes. "You guys stay just like that," he sniffles and I hear a couple camera clicks. "My heart. I'm so happy. I've never been so happy. Tyler I love you so much it's unexplainable. You're just so amazing," he puts his phone down and hugs Tyler and cries on his shoulder. "You made my life so much better. I'll do whatever you want for the rest of my life."

"Fried chicken whenever I ask?" He says with a smile and hugs Cameron back.

"Yes, absolutely."

I shake my head at him.

"Damn everybody getting hugs but me," Zaniyah says from the other side of the room. Cameron quickly makes it to the other side of the room and hugs her too. And then he comes to me and the twins and hugs each of us one by one and throws in a deep kiss for me.

"Aww papa, I see you," Taleah says and he gets to blushing and caressing our daughter cheek.

"Y'all look too fucking much alike," Tyler says and stands up from the bed "Anthony and Aj. Same expressions and all. Shit dumb scary."

"I was just about to say that," Zaza says with a smile.

"Yup, I was just looking at that," Leah adds in.

"I always said Aj looks just like his daddy. And acts like him too," he holds Aj's face "so handsome."

He is, my son is beautiful, and yeah he do look like me. That's a blessing. My daughter is gorgeous too. I got some beautiful kids, I knew I would with Cameron having them. "Look like me all you want, don't act like me," I add in seriously. I'm nobody to be mirroring, I'm not a good person with good qualities. I want him to act like Cameron and mimic his heart. Not mine.

"It's a little too late bro, he been acting like you since he came out the womb," Tyler laughs. That's not good.

"I act like myself," Aj claims.

"You could say that, but that don't change the fact that your actions still mirror Ants when he was around your age," Tyler says and Aj shrugs. He gets a call on his phone and gets up off me and walks to the other side of the room.

"Ain't no therapy session today," Tyler begins "I told them to push it till two days. You honestly probably be able to go home as early as today and just come back to deal with your arm." He tells Cameron.

"Okay, good." Cameron smiles and puts his arm around me and I wrap my arm around his waist and caress his thigh. He looks down at me still smiling. I lick my lips and trail my hand up to his back and pull him down so I can kiss him again. He puts his hand on my face and I grab the back of his neck. I'm aware of my surroundings but I can tell Cameron is getting lost quick. And when he snaps back to reality again he stops our kiss leaving it incomplete. He looks around in embarrassment and takes a seat.

"Shit, it's alright. We ain't stopping you," Tyler jokes and they laugh at him. He smiles awkwardly and lays his head on his hand.

"Watch out babygirl," I tell my daughter and she gets off of my lap. I sit next to Cameron and wrap my arms around him and he leans his body into me. He touches my arm.

"I know this is random but," he begins quietly, "you are coming home with us for good right? Like living together? Please say yes. Please."

I knew we would have to come to this discussion, but I didn't think so soon.

"We'll talk about that later."

He frowns at me in confusion. It's complicated. Real complicated. And I know he's not gonna be happy with what I will say.

"But–" he begins and I cut him off.

"Not right now," I say. He sighs again. I just want him to be happy for now, I don't want him to start stressing and overthinking. Because when it comes to that, it's a whole thing and I don't feel like explaining myself.

"Okay..." He pouts and sinks into my arms.

I look at my son across the other side of the room.

"Aj," I call and he turns around quickly.

"Yeah?"

"Who are you talking to?"

He licks his lips, "Uh, my friend."

"Really?"

He stares at me, "yeah. Yeah."

I leave him alone and look to Cameron for answers. "Your son got a girlfriend?" I frown and he raises his eyebrows.

"Um, I mean, no?"

"Is that a question or a statement."

"Just, just ask him. I don't really know what to say."

"How? It's a simple question."

Tyler chimes in, "Aj you still doing this? Come on now sweetheart, it's not that serious."

"What?" I ask now getting agitated, I fucking hate when people talk in circles.

"You got a girlfriend? You got a boyfriend?" Like is that what it is, imma find out regardless.

He nods.

"What are you nodding to."

"A boyfriend."

I frown, "A boyfriend?"

He nods slowly.

"Fuck you need a boyfriend for? How old are you."

"Um, didn't you meet papa when he was sixteen," Leah adds in and I cut my eyes at her.

She laughs "Okay, I'm sorry daddy. I'll shut up." She looks like Cameron, but I can already tell she got Tyler's mannerisms.

"Don't worry about what I was doing."

I look at my son, "so what is the secret? You gay?"

"Yeah," he mumbles under his breath. Usually I woulda made him speak up out of respect, but I'm not gonna make him do that with this one.

Up until a couple years ago, I still had the mindset of not wanting my son to be gay. I knew it was hypocritical but I viewed myself as like a special case because I got lucky with Cameron. Somehow he happened to be perfect for me but he wasn't a female either way I ignored that and ended finding myself not caring that he had a dick, that's the vulgar way to put it but that's how I thought about it. But I didn't want that for my son and it's for the dumb ass reasons that made me ignorant when it came to that in the first place. I wasn't worried about Leah because I already know girls who like other girls is not a big deal. It's not the same for niggas and I just wanted my son to live a normal life. I knew that I would still love him the same, but I thought it was gonna be disappointing for me. It didn't make any sense.

But it was the moment I heard that my mother was on some ignorant shy talking about some Cameron's gonna make my son be gay. When he told me that over the phone the first thought I had was if he is, what's the issue. All I ask for is healthy, happy respectful kids. Without overthinking in my mind I thought I could give a fuck who they are attracted to. After that I never had a thought about not wanting my kids to be gay. Of course I still love them, none of it matters. And I stopped dismissing the fact that I was being a big ass hypocrite because all the while I got a husband, not a wife, a husband waiting for me. It is what it is.

But I guess I'm protective over my kids because I really don't want them having no boyfriends or girlfriends at this age. I'm not stupid though, teenagers all they do is date. So I'm not gonna give a serious ass no, but I'm not gonna sit here and lie and say I'm for it. And no, what I chose to do in the past don't got shit to do with none of it. That's my business.

I cross my arms and look at my daughter, "and what about you?"

"Nope, nobody. I'm a loner."

"Good. It's okay to be alone."

When the room is quiet Tyler lets out an exaggerated sigh, "so I guess I'm just not gonna eat, huh."

"Nigga we ready. You ain't even make a move," Zaniyah says "what are we eating?"

They go back and forth for a while on where they want to go and then they decide on some shit I really wasn't paying attention. But soon, after Cameron changes into something else, we all get into the Car Tyler be driving around in and the nigga I forgot his name drives thirty minutes till we outside of a restaurant. I didn't catch the name but when we get inside it's all dark and shit and I the name cheescake factory is everywhere. Fuck type of name is that.

I enjoy my time there with them. My daughter taught me how to use my phone because I didn't know how to do much but call and text, but that's all I really do. That's one of the first things I got, I used my own money. That's one thing I'm grateful for because I got a nigga like Tyler with me, my money has been maintained for all these years. He was tryna trick me into thinking that he lost my box, I was tight. Saying shit like he'll replace it, but I don't want nothing more from him. That shit had the rest of my money and other belongings like jewelry and clothes and weed in it. But he clearly plays too much and brought the whole thing. I threw all the old weed and clothes out and got me some new ones, of both. Shit still ain't legal surprisingly but I need to smoke at least three blunts a day. That hasn't changed. I was able to smoke a couple blunts a week while I was in prison. The jewelry I probably end up giving to my kids. And all in all I had about forty thousand dollars in there. I had that even when we was on the run, that was the standard amount I needed once I found out Cameron was pregnant. Because I knew I would be going to prison. And I wanted him to be able to support our family while I was away in case shit got bad. So, when I said I was running low on money, I wasn't necessarily. But that set amount was for him.

Tyler had a different idea. He always thought I was gonna get out one day. So he said, Imma keep everything how it is. And this is gonna be to get me back on my feet once I get out. He insisted that Cameron would be alright with him. I trusted him and he was right. But I'm not just living off of that, I'm working too. And that's something else that I need to discuss with Cameron.

Anyways, yeah, my daughter taught me a lot. And like me, my son didn't talk much but here and there he would laugh or say something. Something that bothered me though is the fact that he and Cameron didn't really talk to each other at all. Cameron would acknowledge Aj, but he wouldn't do the same. I didn't want to open up a whole discussion about it but that's something that gotta be addressed because I know I'm not just imagining shit.

Cameron made me worried too because I wanted him to eat something that's wasn't a bare ass salad. And when I finally convinced him to get something unhealthy like a burger, he barely ate it. I knew I wasn't bugging when I knew he looked a little skinner. Like I said, that doesn't matter to me. But it's clear that he's skinny because he's not eating. The whole time he had me worried, watching him and encouraging him to eat. He didn't even make it halfway through before he nearly burst into tears telling me that he can't eat anymore, so I let it go for now.

Other than that, it was mostly positive. Tyler kept everybody laughing so that nobody got too emotional. A couple times we were interrupted because of his fans, but that made me more proud of him than annoyed.

And I couldn't keep my lips off of Cameron the whole time and I got made fun of for it but that I didn't pay them no mind. I think I got the right to after so long. He kept staring at me with those big eyes and pretty lips and I couldn't help myself.

When it was time to leave, Tyler and I went back and forth on who's gonna pay but it didn't take long for me to convince him to let me pay it.

Now we're all walking down the street, just extending the time that we have to spend together tonight. But I got plans of my own too. I stop walking with Cameron and face him.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"It's just gon be me and you tonight."

He face turns red and he leans into me. "Where?"

"Don't worry about it."

"Hey, what y'all niggas doing? Y'all not sticking with us?" Tyler asks. He already knows what's up, he's just being annoying.

"Nah. Not tonight."

Leah pouts and crosses her arms, but then she smiles. "Alright, fine."

"Come on, come say bye."

She runs over to me and gives me a tight hug and I kiss her head, "I'll see you tomorrow princess."

"Love you daddy. I'm so happy you're home for me and.. and to make papa happy again," she whispers.

"I love you more babygirl."

She separates from me then hugs Cameron. "I love you."

"I love you too my love," he grabs her cheeks and kisses her.

I kiss and hug my son goodbye, and once again it's some fishy shit going on because once it comes to Cameron they don't say much.

"Bye honey," Cameron says first and he gives him a head nod.

"Aight," is his response. I promise I'm not gon get myself more upset tonight. The rest of the night is about Cameron. I gotta keep reminding myself that.

I say goodbye to my sister and Tyler. He says something into my ear.

"I know you sense the vibe. It's there, you not crazy. But wait another couple days. Focus on him." And now I know he's talking about my son and that gives me all the confirmation that I need. My thoughts must've been worn on my face.

"See you bro," he daps me up.

"Bye Cammy," he sings and Cameron smiles hard.

"Bye Tyler," he shakes his head. Tyler comes and hugs him and kisses his forehead. "You have fun with this nigga. He think he cute with the braids and muscles and truth is, he is. But don't gas his head up too much, it's already fat."

"I'll try, I can't make any promises," he laughs.

"Alright y'all," he sighs and pulls away from him "we bout to go watch a movie or something. Enjoy y'all night."

"Thanks." I say then he walks off. I watch them walk away into the distance until I can't see them anymore. Then I look at him and lick my lips. He shifts on his feet and looks down at them.

I grab his hand. He's so cute, his hands is shaking like it's our first date. "You nervous?" I ask.

He nods, "you make me nervous.

"Scared?"

He shakes his head, "I will never be scared of you."

"You trust me right."

"Absolutely. Of course."

I'm just making sure. I want to make sure he's familiar with me and not like he feels like he's with a stranger right now because I been gone for so long. I want him to be comfortable, because I need to know if I have to rebuild that relationship again. But, I guess not.

He looks up at me and tilts his head, "why?"

I hold his face, "Just making sure..."

We stand there, looking at each other with silence between us. Then I smile and suddenly pick him up. He squeals and laughs.

"Let's go," I walk off with him in my arms, feeling the happiest I've felt in a long time. I'm ready to spend the rest of the night with him.

More importantly, the rest of my life with him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

HE'S HOME HE'S HOME HE'S HOME HES BACKSKAKALLA YAYYYYYYYYY

IDC ABOUT  NO INACCURATE SCENES REGARDING REHAB IM NOT THAT SMART LETS PAY ATTENTION TO WHATS IMPORTANT HERE

THIS IS NOT A DRILL OMG IM SO EXCITED THERES SO MANY THINGS IN STORE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😩

He's finally back home y'all after fifteen long years 😭😭😭 I'm so excited. NOW YALL SEE WHAT TOOK ME SO LONG YALL SEE HIW LONG THIS IS IT TOOK EVERYTHING IN ME NOT TO SAY SOMETHING.

HOW DO YALL FEEL? WERE YALL SURPRISED OR YOU KNEW HE WOULD BE COMING?

Thoughts on...

Anthony?

Cameron?

Tyler?

Aj?

Leah?

Etc?

IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT FOREVER AS MUCH AS YALL WERE IT WAS SO HARD FOR ME BUT I KNEW I HAD TO WAIT. I HOPE YALL ARE HAPPY BECAUSE I KNOW I AM 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

I LOVE YALL AND I HOPE THIS CHAPTER CARRYS YALL INTO NEXT YEAR
(kidding)