Chapter 4.
“That…” I swallowed, surprised by her words. “That’s not possible.”
London shook her head. “You were d-dead.” I couldn’t move. There was nothing I could do but let her speak. “Our baby would be growing up without a father and I would be getting older without you to take care of him.”
“It’s a boy?” I asked thinking of a baby with her soft brunette curls and my golden eyes.
“You’ll be gone Clayton don’t you see that!” She screamed, letting out a sob at the end of her sentence. “You’ll never see him grow up. You’ll never get to see him speak, walk, or even smile for goodness sake!”
“London.” I sighed, trying to process the new information. I was going to die, and leave London to crumble. She’ll never see me again if I pass, but I know she’s not strong enough to live out the rest of her life without ending it purposely.
“You’ll never get to carrying him on your back, read him stories before bed time, and you won’t be able to help him when a girl breaks his heart for the first time.” London rambled shaking her head and letting the tears fall like a river. I couldn’t watch her break down like this, knowing this is what she’ll be like when I actually do pass. “You can’t leave me.”
“I’ll never truly leave you London.” I told her rubbing my thumb across the top of her hand. “You’ll have our son with you. He will be a section of me, of us.”
“But I love you.”
“And I love you as well.”
“You can’t do this to me.” London begged giving me a pleading look. “There has to be a way to make you stay with me. I love you god damn it Clayton. I love you.”
“London please stop it.” I said, looking down at our hands. I couldn’t bear the thought of her crying like this. I needed her to calm down, and the only way that was possible was telling her a lie. There was no way I could tell her I was going to be with her forever, I couldn’t lie to her.
“I’m not losing you!” She shouted shoving my chest which hardly made me move an inch. “You can’t just accept this!”
“London please.” I begged. By now I was close to having a breakdown myself. My wolf was telling me I had to try and stay for her, but I knew that fate wanted me to die. I guess I deserved it, for the way I talked and thought about my mother. The Moon Goddess deserved to kill me.
However the thought of my mother burying me was what pained me the most. She lost her daughter, even if she isn’t dead, but had to bury the image of her in the ground. My father and my mother will have to do that a second time, having just my brother Rylan with them. I don’t know who that’ll effect more, mom or dad.
London stayed quiet after that, clasping her hands together and placing them in between her legs. She pursed her lips, and again began to tear at them with her teeth. She scrunched her eyebrows together, something I found beautiful about her. She wiped her cheeks and took in a deep breath. Before I knew what was happening, she pulled the door open and got out.
I didn’t chase after her, I knew she needed her space. Everything was happening to quickly for me. In only a matter of days I find out that my sister is alive, I’m meant to be Alpha in a month, and now I’m going to be dead before I can even get to know my son. I need to be there for London, but I need to find my sister. Maybe finding her will change fate, maybe everything will be okay and life will go back to normal.
I can only hope.
«»
“Miss me?” She asked running her hand through the long grass, her white silk dress blowing in the wind. I scowled at her, hating that I was once again in her presence.
“Leave London alone.” I growled feeling my eyes darken and canines lengthen.
Lilura only chuckled. “You and your mate are connected through mind and soul, you weren’t sleeping and I needed to send another message.”
I ground my teeth together, but turned away from her short body and looked around the area. We were in a meadow filled with grass. A hut was not far and smoke was coming from the chimney. The sky was blue and clear of any clouds. A few birds would fly by, but they were singing happily and cheerfully. It was odd to switch from a small dark room to an open bright field from dream to dream. However the real question seems to be why here?
“Why did you summon me?” I asked. “What do you want from me this time?”
Lil was definitely younger than I thought, resembling a young Indian girl with thick dark hair. She had big brown eyes with a crooked smile and her spine seemed to be in a strange angle. From the looks of it she was far from being healthy, and was obviously malnourished. Her small hands skimmed the top of the grass where the seeds began to form as she walked barefoot.
“I needed someone to talk to I guess.” She shrugged. “And I knew you needed someone to speak to as well. Consider me your nighttime therapist.”
“Why are we in a field when you told me you’re in a box, a prison?” I was tired of her childish games and I wanted answers.
“Before I was taken to my prison that was my home.” She pointed to the small house. “I grew up there until I was six, that’s why I speak such good English.”
“What do you mean? Everyone speaks something.”
“You’re sister only knows broken English, occasionally the people keeping us here give her a children’s book.” Lil explained giving me a kind smile. “I wish I could help as much as you can.”
I stayed silent, remembering the cries of my sister. She wanted to leave that awful place, it was obvious. Penelope needed to be saved before she did something stupid. They could give her the option to run away, and kill her the minute she sees the light. Whoever is keeping her hostage must be sick minded.
“And about your mates Illumination Dream.” Lil scratched the back of her neck. “That’s pretty uncomfortable to say the least. I didn’t think you’d find out about it until it was too late. That Moon Goddess sure loves tricks.
“What do you mean?” I asked staring at her oddly.
“There’s a reason why I didn’t go after your brother to help your sister, there’s always something up your goddess’ sleeve.” She said softly, looking at the dirt and then back at me.
“You better tell me what you’re talking about you little witch or I’ll rip you to shreds right now.” I barked trying to control my wolf from lashing out at her at the moment.
“You kill me, you’ll never find your sister.” She said calmly, locking her brown eyes with my golden ones.
“Then what are you not telling me?”
“I knew you were going to die, the Goddess herself told me, and she never interacts with witches.”
“There’s something else!” I growled stomping up to her so we were chest to chest. “You’re still not telling me something. What is it?”
“You have to make the decision.” Lil explained. “If you save your sister you will die, and your mate and son will be without out you. Your sister will be there to guide London through it though. However, if you choose to live and get to know your son and keep London happy, your sister will spend the rest of her life suffering as a prisoner.”
I bolted up in my sleep, sweat dripping down my face and my back sticking to the sheets. I was gasping for breath by now, and I turned my head to see if London was there. To my disappointment she wasn’t and soon enough I realized she was still upset and didn’t come to me at all last night. I groaned loudly, and moved over my bedside to check the time. Light was peeking through the curtains so I knew I once again had missed school.
The clock said eleven in the morning, and I groaned in annoyance. School was more than half way over, wonderful. I knew London wouldn’t have gone to school if I didn’t drag her, so she obviously wasn’t there. I wasn’t going to tell her that Penelope was alive and that I had to save either her or myself. Obviously, she would want me to live, but I couldn’t be selfish. This would make my mother happy, and I would rather die and get to see her happy again than never get to know my real mother and sister, even if it’s for a short time.
Making my decision, I knew I had to call my Aunt. Remembering I left my phone downstairs, and that she was too far to mind link, I threw the blankets off of me and got off the bed quickly. Grabbing a shirt, I threw it over my head and moved quickly out of the room. My bare feet stuck after sweating from the overwhelming dream, yet tried calm my nerves while moving.
As I passed my parents room I caught sight of something and stopped. The door was wide open, and no one was in there much to my surprise. I paused, skimming the darkened room a bit before entering it. I’ve never actually been in my parent’s room, at least from what I can remember. The room was always closed off, even if no one was in it. This was odd, and I didn’t understand what the reason was. My mother wasn’t that forgetful to keep the door wide open after leaving.
The room was coated with dark colors, and I winced at the lonesome feeling. It felt like I was stepping into an unvisited graveyard. The temperature dropped dramatically, and I shivered from it. The bedroom sheets were a navy blue color, and just about everything else on the bed was black. The desk that was in the corner was black, everything was except a sheet of pale pink lined paper.
My eyebrows scrunched together, and I looked around the room one more time before walking over it on the desk. It was there that I noticed the entire petal pink stack of the paper beside the single one. I reached my hand forward, and took the paper from the desk and placed it close to my eyes so I could see what was written. The letters were small, and was obviously my mother’s handwriting judging by the elegant swirls and twists.
Judging by the format, it was a letter but it wasn’t finished yet. However, it was there when I noticed who the letter was addressed to and my heart stopped. My Dearest Penelope, is what it said. My mother was writing to my sister, and who knows how long she has been. I placed the letter down, and pushed through the other letters. Every single one of them is addressed to my sister.
My dearest Penelope,
It’s hard to believe you would have been one years old today, and my heart aches at just the thought of you. I have blamed myself, even though your father tells me it was never my fault. He’s a liar at that, telling me-
I threw the paper down, my breathing heavy and wolf growling in anger. My entire life my mother has communicated through writing, only directed to my sister. She puts her feelings in her writing, as if it’ll make my sister appear before her. How could my father see these and not read them. Unless…she hides them and forgot to put them away. Childish, my mother is to let me read these and not my father.
This is an invasion of privacy, but I want to understand and learn. Every word could have a clue about my sister, even if it’s as simple as a dream being told. Perhaps Lilura has entered my mother’s dreams, and she would write them down in a letter. My eyes widened, and I began skimming through the letters.
My darling Penelope.
My heart has shattered into more than a million pieces. I can hardly write for my hand is trembling uncontrollably. Today was the ten year anniversary of the day I lost you, but it was more traumatizing than I would have thought when I woke up this morning.
Like every year, I would look at your growing brothers and pray to the Moon Goddess that I will see you looking as beautiful as ever in an elegant gown. That was not the case today, because I think I have officially lost the will to live.
I saw you, your copper hair just like your father, and my vibrant violet eyes. My heart stopped, because I had finally seen you after ten years. I’ve grown older since then, but my mind was not as mature as I had hoped. It was at that moment where I cried directly in front of the pack, and so did your father. He is the strongest man I have ever known, and he was sobbing. But that’s understandable, because it was you.
My heart broke because I found out you were gone, dead, and just another body of a loved one I will never see again.
I placed the letter down, because I couldn’t read further. How could I have been so cruel? My mother was suffering on the inside so harshly, yet I talked down to her as if she was trash. I was the worst son imaginable to be so blind. I was wrong, a destructive person to everyone around me.
Throughout my life I have seen myself as the most powerful and strong man, but I’m not. I’m a vile and disgusting boy, and far from a man. I’ve hurt the people I hold close and may always for the rest of my life. I will never be compared to my father, a caring and willing leader who will put everyone’s needs before his own. I will never be compared to my grandfather, who led the pack through the harshest times and was dead set on being a leader. I am nothing.
My ears twitch as I hear the floor creak behind me, and I close my eyes and wait for a voice, but nothing comes. I feel the presence of the person at the door, who stopped short when they noticed I was there. My shoulders tensed, and I took in a deep breath.
I turned around when the shattering of glass behind me was heard, and my wolf had suddenly been on high alert. My heart dropped to my stomach, and a dull ache erupted. The mug was shattered on the ground in large pieces, hot tea spreading across the floor. I gulped, and brought my eyes up to face the person.
“Mom.” I said in surprise, and took a step back when I noticed the shocked look on her face. “Mom I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-”
She sniffled, tears pooling in her eyes when she looked directly into the windows of my soul. Her vibrate eyes shone with unshed tears, her mouth open just slightly. The dim light that came from the lamp brought out the milky white color on her skin, but to me she looked paler than usual.
The sweater she was wearing was baggy but she pulled it off well. My mother’s hair cascaded down her hips and was beautifully curled. I knew immediately that my Aunt Paige had done her hair because she is a hairstylist at a local salon. The front strands were pulled back, and allowed me to see the full look of shock written on her face.
“Celia are you okay? I heard something shatter and I got-” My father entered the room, and I knew I was definitely in for a lecture. He stopped midsentence and noticed the situation at hand. “Clayton?”
“I didn’t mean to dad, honest.” I rushed out, backing up once again, but my legs came in contact with the desk. “The door was open and I guess curiosity got the best of me and-”
“Why in the Moon Goddess’s name would you even think to come in here?” He boomed making me jump in surprise and my wolf growl.
“I was trying to-”
“You do not, come in here ever!” He shouted, the vein in his forehead showing. My father took a step forward, causing my mother to step away to the side.
“I saw the letter written to Penelope! My god damn sister! She,” I pointed to my mother, his mate, “has been writing to her since Penny was taken. Have you read them? Or had she kept a secret from her?”
“I have never gone through her things because I respect her,” the anger in his voice was rising, and his steps were getting larger as he got closer to me, “unlike you.”
“I respect mom.”
“You don’t!”
“Yes, I do.” I tried to speak to him as calmly as possible, because every harsh word directed at me was making my wolf surface.
“You don’t respect her because if you did you wouldn’t have gone through her things!”
“If you had loved her the moment you saw her then none of this would have happened! I wouldn’t have been born, but at least my mother would’ve been happy!” I shouted, shoving his chest when he got to close. “If you weren’t a selfish bastard then maybe she would’ve loved you.”
Everything went silent, and my father stopped moving towards me. I regretted my words the minute they slipped out of my mouth. I’m becoming the monster again. The cruel boy who never thinks about others feelings. I’ve hurt the man in front of me more times than I could count.
“If you weren’t a foolish boy, then London would love you as much as I love your mother.”
I snapped at that very moment, and lunged for my father. He was surprised by my attack and we both ended up falling to the ground, me on top of him. There was a grunt that escaped his lips, and a groan of pain as I punched him in the gut. My wolf is chanting to me, telling me he deserved to be punished, and I didn’t even see the man in front of me as my father. He was the enemy in my eyes.
He flung me off of him, and I fell into the wall with such force that some of the drywall crumbled onto me when I collapsed to the ground. I dusted it off, and leapt up, regret from hurting me in his eyes. I charged at him as he tried to get up, but the moment he did we were on the floor again. Looking over, I noticed the shattered tea cup on the ground and placed a sharpened piece onto my hand. I gripped it tightly and thrust it towards his throat.
Before it was able to make contact, he gripped my arm, surprise in his eyes at the action of me wanting to kill him. I was fueled with rage that it didn’t even process in my mind. The glass wasn’t far from his throat, and I was putting in all my energy to slash his throat with it. He needed to die. He deserved it. These were the only thoughts running through my mind.
“Clayton!” Someone screeched and I was knocked to the ground not far from my father. I hit the ground with a thud, and shook my head as my wolf growled, which escaped my lips.
“Oh my gosh, Cooper!” Another screamed but I was too mad to understand who it was.
“Clayton, what the hell is wrong with you? That’s your father!” Two hands gripped my face and my eyes locked with the chocolate brown ones that I love.
Three people were in the room, two were on me preventing myself from moving. One was London who was on the side of me checking for injury and inspecting my face. The other was my Uncle, who I haven’t seen in a long time. Uncle Adam was the person who tackled me, and since he was Beta he was allowed to do so. It’s his job to protect his Alpha.
“Answer me Clayton! What is wrong with you?” He shouted, his body straddling me and keeping me pinned to the ground. “Have you lost your mind?”
I ignored him, and looked up at the third person that entered. It was my Aunt Paige who was looming over her brother, making sure he was okay. Tears were falling down her face as she cried, and I could hear her frantic heart beat not far from me. What I noticed the most was the large belly on her, indicating she was very pregnant with her second baby. She was directly on my father, inspecting him as well.
“He’s alive!” She sobbed. “He’s okay. Oh my, oh my, you scared me to shits big brother.”
I scanned the room, and felt anger boil in my body again. Not only was my mate looking at me with fear and worry, but someone else wasn’t here. At that someone was my mother, who was nowhere in sight.
______________________________________________________*(A/N)*
This is not edited at all. I literally just wrote this chapter and didn't even have time.
I'm so so so so sorry for the late update! I've been so busy and school is getting intense. As soon as the holidays come up I promise to be as dedicated as I was in the summer. I'm just very busy (and may have had a hint of writers block)
What do you think about Claytons behavior? Do you think he reacted the way he should have?
Update hopefully next Sunday!
VOTE/ COMMENT/ SHARE / FAN
Xox