[I can't let go of this book but at the same time I don't wanna drag it out bring attention to it if I do tho]
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I woke up to complete darkness. My body felt drained and I grimaced when I moved to look around me. I inhaled sharply at the pounding headache.
Blinking a couple of times I could even make myself focus on the different things in the room and around me. I was imediantly glad to feel jongin behind me and his arms around me holding my hand in my lap but there was something unnerving about the atmosphere and my eyes darted around the room to find it as it was making me more and more uncomfortable.
My blurry vision slowly faded as everything started to appear a little more clearer i saw a shadow standing by the end of the couch where we were laying on just by our feet.
It was a woman and my eyes widened as she wasn't moving at all and just kept looking at us but I couldn't see clearly enough to make out what expression she wore I just knew she was watching me.
,, mum ?" I called but she didn't react. Tears gathered in my eyes as I stared at her while squeezing jongins arm. I felt light headed being both terrified and sad.
,, nugget ?" Jongins soft voice appeard behind me but i didnt dare look away from.. from that thing standing there. I knew it wasn't my mother but she looked like she was and it terrified me.
I started cuddling closer to jongin turning around in his hold and taking both of his hands while my eyes were fixed on her.
,, hey what's wrong ?" Jongin asked leaning his head more down and to the side to see my face.
,, s-she " I rasped out and by that she moved in a sickening way around the couch making me panic and flinch back ,, Stop !"
Jongin sat more up at that obvious shocked himself as he moved me with him forcing my head to turn and look at him but I couldn't I was too scared to look away.
,, kyungsoo?" He called irritated
,, what is it ? she ?"
,, there !" I forced his hands way as I turned around to show him where she stood but once I did she was gone.
My heart was beating faster than ever and I started taking deep breaths when I looked around nervously searching her in the room.
,, What ?" He looked around with me
Once I dared to look back at jongin my vision was suddenly all clear and she was right there behind him her eyes blood shot and red she was so pale making the blood from her ripped apart face even more outstanding.
I screamed at the tip of my lungs flinching back and falling out of jongins arms to land on the ground.
,, JONGIN !" I screamed again while she was still staring at me almost sadly as if she wanted me to know that I did something wrong, she wanted me to feel guilty.
,, JONGIN!" I screamed for him to move aswell but all he did was look around with wide eyes while having an arm stretched out before me.
I started crying as I was still crawling away not noticing anything but her not even that jongin was now long besides me giving up on trying to look around... he was trying to hold me still while he was calling me or someone else for help.
,, please leave Me alone !" I sobbed out as she took her steps around the couch again attempting to get closer.
,, you could've called for help when you heard the wolves back then .."
She said almost disappointed .
,, I was little ! I was scared !"
,, were you scared when you shot your own father? "
She got even closer and i crawled further away until my back hit the wall.
,, How cruel can you be? Letting me die and killing him.. " she hurried closer to get on her knees as she glared at me as I gasped in shaky breaths in panic. In fear looking at her torn apart body move so wrong disturbed me.
,, I-i'm sorry " I stuttered looking into her eyes.
,, sorry can't bring back the dead ! You'll go to hell for this !
MURDERER !" her hands grasped my ankle and wrist, I sucked in a sharp breath when she started squeezing them tightly moving my wrist to the side as she looked me deep in the eyes while I was in pain.
,, you could've saved me...
And you could've saved him. "
I cried out when her hold tightened and she twisted my wrist some mumbled of panic appeard in the background but none of it was something I could focus on or think of.
,, you just didn't want to make the effort... COWARD !" A snap appeard and it make me cry out louder at the sharp pain in my wrist and ankle before she suddenly disappeard within the blink of an eye and with her the tight grasps.
I breath out still shaken up, my whole body was shacking and the adrenalin was making me feel numb. The tears that have yet to fall from my eyes where almost blinding my vision again when I finally saw jongin cupping my face to look at him.
I sniffled still in shock and terrified.
,, can you hear me now ??" He seemed almost as terrified as me
I nodded hesitant after I swallowed breathing heavily, it was causing the tears to finally drop down my cheeks new once already refilling my eyes and making me go almost blind as jongin looked to the side. ,, what the fuck was that ?"
I didn't bother looking to where he was looking at to see who he was talking to when I glanced down to my wrist. It was red and aching.
I moved my arm up and winced as my hand limply followed causing me to lay it back down which only worsened it.
Jongin instantly held me still and I groaned when his hand was placed on my arm taking my pain and relieving me from it as I sighed exhaling shakingly and letting my head fall forward to lean against his shoulder.
,, it's ok.. calm down.. alright ?"
I sniffled, my good hand wrapping around my belly my breathing calmed when jongin placed his on mine aswell and I felt a soft little kick from inside which just made me more emotional as I thought of my baby comforting me.
•♡•
,, hey "
I turned my head in a rush when my eyes landed on hyunsik, he looked terrible. He looked tired, worn out.. sad.
,, hyunsik " I uttered looking over his face when he wouldn't even look at me and rather stare onto the ground before him from where he sat besides the bed I was laying on.
,, you left his body on the ground like an animal.. " I become more awake when he muttered that out shakingly
,, but I couldn't " my eyes traveled down to see him raise his covered in dirt and blood hands and arms.
Before I knew It i was sitting up again blinking panicked when he suddenly disappeard as if he were never there and I was on the couch again instead of the bed I just saw a second ago.
,, omg..." someone gasped ,, jongin !" a voice called and I blinked looking up to see chantel appear by my side with sehun behind him.
,, hey stay calm ok "
I looked over his face before at sehun he looked dirty.. why was he covered in dirt.. and chanyeols neck had hickey which I spotted once he looked up and behind me.
Then jongin arrived in the picture and my heart fluttered when he got closer smiling happily but I couldn't quite smile back. ,, omg .. I was so worried you have no fucking clue " he cupped my face and kissed my forehead pulling me into a tight hug at which he nuzzled my neck and continued kissing my cheek while I just let him for now.
His kisses felt nice and comforting and they made me feel better .. but I was still frightened.
,, let me check him over again "baekhyun appears and jongin moved to the side not letting go of my hand tho I noticed how much bigger my belly looked like which wasn't possible ..
My skin was pale and I was wearing some cheap made cast on my wrist and ankle, which baekhyun was examining before looking into my eyes. Probably checking something else.
,, do you still feel anxious ?" His attention turned to jongin and I looked down at that, did he feel what i feel? Doe she know how terrified i felt a moment ago.
,, not right now ... " he answers and I swallowed looking back up at the others to find on person missing which made me once more wide awake.
,, w-where .. hyunsik ??" I was going to stand up but jongi held me gently in place.
,, hyunsik is taking a shower dont worry " segun explained getting down to my eye level too.
,, I'm gonna prepare one of the rabbits " chanyeol turned away and I did feel a little hungry when he mentioned a rabbit.
,, one .. of the rabbits ?" I muttered irritated. Last time I checked we only had some left overs.
,, nugget .." jongin stroke his thumb over my hand making me turn to look at him
,, you've been sleeping for a week "
,, a ..week? " he nodded and I moved my hand over my belly at that a few kicks were the response to it and jongin smiled sadly laying his hand on mine.
,, it's almost time " he kissed my temple which didn't realy help much.. there's more much time left and we still had no cluse what was going to happen once the time comes.
What will the moon goddess do ? What will the devil do ? What are we going to do. My baby needs to survive but it will cost one of us right now the other possibilities I could think of was it being me baekhyun or .. jongin.
All of these were horrible.. if I sacrificed myself jongin will suffer but if I dont I will lose jongin and i can't handle that. The mere thought was tearing me apart.
Neither can I take chanyeols mate a second time neither did baek deserve this after everything he's been through.
,, I'm scared .. " I admitted looking at him.
He sighed lightly, hugging me closer to him and I wrapped my arms around him aswell ,, dont worry .. everything will be ok, we will stay together all of us"
Hoe can he be so sure.. wasn't he worried aswell. We should all be worried.
What if the moon goddess ends up taking our baby after all. What if I lose jongin and the baby ??
,, kyungsoo " I looked back up once a plate was placed onto my lap jongins arm was around my backs he held it steady in my lap. I noticed my legs were shaking slightly and there was huge gap in between my thighs.
It made me want to look into the mirror to know how bad it realy was.
,, do you want to talk about it ?" He asked softly but I just blinked a little confused.
,, what ?" I asked. He sighed looking onto the plate before onto the ground and I followed his gaze to stop a circle around me and jongin made by some what looked like smashed and mixed leaves and herbs making my eyes go wide.
,, it's a protecting circle.. no shadow can touch you if your in it.. " he explained looking over at baek who nodded for him to continue ,, whatever you saw kyungsoo.. wasn't real it was a shadow manipulating your reality.. "
Baek shrugged his shoulders getting down to me at that
,, it sensed you because you have an open vulnerable part right now which you cannot deal with.. you have to try and confront it to lose these shadows.'"
I glanced at him sadly.
Its because of father because of what I did but how can someone cope with this.
I'm just aboy after all this and even if he didn't treat me well .. he was still my father he raised me fed me, trained me.
Losing him even if we hadn't had contact in forever has torn a hole in my heart and the fact that I lost him by my own hands was making it ache even worse.
,, I saw mother.. " I finally spoke
And jongin held me tighter at that.
,, she .. a-attacked me..."
,, did she blame you for what happened- ?" Sehun asked curiously but chanyeol hit him with his elbow to shut up.
,, she would never blame me .. I know that but.. the ,b-blood, her voice.. it just i-it was so r-real " I bit my lips when they started to shake while jongin rubbed over my back pulling me closer to bury me in his chest as he released this scent that made me calm instantly knowing he was there to protect me.
I noticed baekhyun flashing jongin worried yet knowingly look to which I didn't know how jongin reacted to.
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[decided that Wednesday will be update day from now]