"Jess?" Will answers as soon as I call him.
"Will," I try to keep my voice steady, but with the mixture of the bumpy car and my racing emotions, I'm all over the place.
"Jessi, what's wrong?" he asks before I can compose myself to say another word.
"I-I'm fine. Don't worry."
"I'm worrying. Are you safe? Are you okay?"
"Will, really. I'm okay. I just talked with my mom. I was wondering what time you got off of work?"
"Right now," he says and I hear the chair squeak in the background. I glance down at the car's clock and see that it's 6:38.
"You do not get off of work at 6:38."
"I do today."
"Will, you don't have to leave work for me. I just wanted to know when you'd be free."
I really want to be with him right now, but I don't want him rearranging his schedule for me. I'm not dying.
"I can hear that tone in your voice. Do I have to remind you how many times I've fucked up? The least I can do is be with you right now." His voice becomes muffled. "Hey, Jack. I'm leaving. I already faxed Martin the papers and Vin and I took care of the Paris convention before he left." I hear more muffled talking that's even quieter which I assume is Jack, but I can't make out what he says. "Sure, thing. I'll see you tomorrow." Then Will's voice returns to its normal volume. "The traffic is going to be a pain in the ass but I'll get there as soon as I can. Meet me at my house in about an hour?"
"Okay."
Now I'm overwhelmed by my confused emotions for my mother and by how much Will cares for me. I didn't expect him to stop what he was doing and come to my unnecessary rescue. I'm just an overreacting teenager, but Will treats me like I'm so much more than I deserve. He's still trying to make up for keeping secrets from me, but I think the running away and roller coaster situations scared him into telling me the truth from now on. The look in his eyes was so desperate; I hate just thinking about it. He looked so helpless, like he was beyond apologizing, but he didn't know what else to do. I don't want to see him like that again, and I don't think he ever wants to feel like that either.
"Okay, see you soon Rosie. Drive safe. Please," he says before hanging up in a rush. It won't take him an hour if he hurries as fast as he's talking. I don't have time to go back to the dorms, and I'm on the way to his house, so I stop at the library to kill time.
The parking lot is abnormally crowded, and I debate leaving and waiting at Will's house until he gets there. But then I could run into Leah, and I don't feel like listening to another apology yet. And God forbid I see Ethan. The packed library suddenly sounds a lot more appealing. I need some time to distract my thoughts from my mother before I talk about it to Will. I refused to get overly emotional because of her.
I find a spot at the back of the parking lot and carry in a few of the books I know I still need to study. I find a table where everyone looks like they're working independently and sit down. I'll just read for about twenty minutes and then make my way over to Will's house. I don't want to make him wait for me. I'll stay in Kira's car until he shows up if I get there early.
I'm read about a paragraph of my textbook when a distantly familiar voice surprises me.
"Jessi?"
I look up to meet eyes with Vinny. Out of all the people I thought I could run into in the library, Vinny would be at the bottom of the list. But at least he's at the top of people I don't mind talking to.
"Hey, Vinny. What's up?"
I don't think I've seen him since the art show.
"History crap," he says holding up a book that is open in front of him. "Psych seems a lot more interesting." He looks down at my psychology book.
"I made the rough decided to take honors. Too much reading."
He nods in agreement. "I took an honors class once. Worst mistake of my life."
"Who'd you have?"
"Professor Kimley."
I snort. "That's why you hated it."
"Are all honors professors like that?"
"No, I couldn't stand him."
He chuckles. "I'm glad I'm not the only one."
I don't know Vinny too well. He would only be a distant party memory if it wasn't for Will. Now I feel closer to him because I'm in on his work secret. I wonder if he has a secret girlfriend he tells everything too like Will, but that seems unlikely.
"I was just thinking about you the other day," Vinny says changing the subject.
"Oh really?"
"Yeah, you like art, right?"
"Love it."
"I thought so. I need someone's input who isn't an art major. This Paris conference is playing with my head. People are going to the event who know nothing about art, but like looking at it. I'm afraid my descriptions are too detailed."
We spend the next half hour talking about different artifacts and going over his drafts for each explanation. The other people at the table end up leaving within the first five minutes, and we have the whole space to ourselves. I didn't think I was really interested in artifacts until I hear Vinny talk about them. It reminds me of when Will talks about paintings. I can't help but to be fascinated.
When I finally glance at the clock and see what time it is, my heart drops for a second, but then picks right back up when I remember I'm going to see Will.
"I think you should take out the last sentence from that card, and you spelled accouterments wrong. There are two c's." I close up my books as he makes the corrections. "I wish I could stay longer, but I have somewhere I need to be."
"Oh, come on," he says looking up from his scribbled note cards. "I have five more left. Please. You're the only one that gives me good feedback."
I figure out the times in my head and it'll be at least 7:30 by the time we finish. It'd be best if I could get to Will's house before he does. He needs to know I appreciate the effort and time he's giving to me.
"I really have to go, but give me your phone number and I'll help you finish the rest later."
Although I'd rather be with Will, I don't mind helping someone out. Vinny is one of the few guys I feel comfortable around, maybe because he pretty much knows about Will and I. But it's good for me to have a change in conversation nonetheless.
"You're going to Will's house?" he asks as I save his number in my phone.
"Yeah," I reply with a little bit of red creeping onto my cheeks.
"You guys an item?"
Yes.
No.
Maybe.
Kind of.
"Not really," I say protecting Will's future job even though it kills me to do so. "We're just friends right now."
"Mmm hmm."
It's going to be hard to convince people we're not in a relationship when we spend so much time together. Will used to be known as the guy who partied all the time and slept with every other girl. Surly it's been talked about how he doesn't go to nearly as many parties and hasn't slept with anyone in a while, or so he claims.
"Just friends," Vinny repeats.
Out of everyone, Vinny probably knows Will the best. He has to know that Will and I are more than just friends, but I deny it so he can't hold it over my head in the future.
"Yeah. I'll see you later Vinny."
"Thanks for your help," he says before I leave. "I mean it."
"No problem." I give him a warm smile that he returns instantly and I walk out of the library. I should still be able to make it to Will's with plenty of time.
A car parked three down from mine catches my attention as I slide into my seat. Where have I seen that car?
I head of familiar blonde hair comes into view, which brings back my memory. I quickly get into my car shutting the door to avoid conversation. Normally I wouldn't mind, but I don't have any time to spare, and Travis could talk for hours.
I start up the car but I hear a tapping on my window that startles me. Why is everyone at the library today? It would have been easier to just stop at McDonalds.
I roll down my window to Travis's cute smiling face.
"Hey, Jessi. How are you?" he says sincerely.
"I'm doing fine. Things are going to work out okay I think."
"That's good to hear. I was concerned when I saw you like that. You have a little more color in your cheeks now."
"Thanks Travis. I have somewhere I really need to be, but we can catch up later."
"Okay, we should talk over coffee tomorrow."
I have no idea when his classes start, or if he's aware that mine start at 7:30, but I don't have the time to discuss it right now.
"I'll text you," I say very slowly pulling out of my parking space. If this isn't an indication that I need to leave, I don't know what is.
"Okay, see ya!"
Jeeze. Having friends is exhausting. I can barley keep up with Will and now there's Vinny and Travis and Avery said we needed to catch up this week. I need to make a friend schedule. But of course, Will is at the top of all lists. He gets priority, and that's partly selfish because he's who I enjoy hanging out with the most. I really enjoyed the times when we just had each other everyday. Now, he has to work more, and I've been making more friends... I have to make sure my friends schedule is clear whenever he's available. I'm not going to let lack of time together draw us apart.
As soon as his house comes into view, I get a sick feeling in my stomach. To think that Mom worked here for over a year, and I never had a clue, to think that everyone knew about it but me. It puts a bad taste in my mouth and makes me depressed all over again.
When I was talking with Vinny, I forgot why I felt like I needed Will so badly. And now that I'm here, I remember. Thinking about my mom brings tears to my eyes, and thinking about my dad makes them roll down my cheeks.
My vision is blurry by the time I pull right behind Will's car. My thoughts about how long he's been here are answered when I hear the front door close as I get out of the car. He must have just arrived.
Will is standing in the living room with his back to me as he takes off his shoes and I take him in. He's wearing dark jeans and a dark blue dress shirt that's rolled up at the sleeves. I almost never see him in his work clothes. It never crossed my mind that he wouldn't wear band t-shirts to the office.
He turns around to look at me as soon as I enter the room and I see his enchanting eyes that reflect off of his shirt. The top few buttons are undone making him look casual yet sexy as hell in the expensive looking shirt. All my worries momentarily leave my mind as I admire the man in front of me who surly can't be real, and I can't possibly have feelings for me.
"Jess." His voice is laced with concern as he looks into my red eyes and at my flushed cheeks. Oh, right. I was crying.
My mom.
My dad.
The tears slowly return.
"Oh, Jess." He races over to me and I don't hesitate to wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his shirt. He smells like a mixture of heaven and home.
"It's okay. I'm okay," I say after a minute.
"Are you really?" He pulls back so he can look me in the face.
"I will be," I shakily reply.
"I should have told you. I know I should have told you the day-"
"It wouldn't have changed the fact that my mom cheated on my dad. You couldn't have prevented that Will. All the rest is pretty much forgiven."
"You're right. This isn't about me." He rubs his thumbs under my eyes. "I shouldn't be reminding you what an asshole I am."
"You're not," I say with a little smile.
"I'm working on it. Now, how's your mom?"
"She's sorry."
"But that's not enough," he states as if he's reading my mind.
"Not for what she did."
He stares at me for another few seconds before pulling me toward my favorite chair. We both fit perfectly on it so I'm slightly lying on top of him and I can curl up at his side. And I do just that when we both sit down.
"Can I be completely honest?" Will says playing with a strand of my hair.
"Please."
"I think you'll forgive her. I don't think you'll be able to stand staying mad at her. Anger doesn't suit you."
I sigh absorbing his words. "I don't know. Maybe, but not now."
"No," he agrees. "not now. But eventually."
"Probably," I admit. She's been there for me my whole life and has forgiven me for anything I've done. Granted, I never did anything to the degree of what she did, but that doesn't change the fact that she loves me unconditionally. I could have killed a man, and she would have told me it was okay. She also would have made sure to visit me in jail everyday. I'll get over what she did with time, though I don't know how much time.
"So, there you go," Will says. "Just know that your disappointment and frustration is temporary, and it'll help you get through it."
I tilt my head up so I can look at him straight on. "Thank you, Will."
He places a lingering kiss on my lips and rests his head against mine.
"You handle this kind of shit a lot better than me. I don't know what I would do if I was in your position."
"You would call me," I say immediately. I know getting drunk is the first thing that runs threw his mind when he thinks of dealing with hard situations, but I'm not letting that happen again.
"Right. I'll call you, like you called me," he says as if he's got it all figured out.
"See how that works?" I say with a giggle.
"You can call me anytime you want, Rosie."
"Good," I say scooting closer into him. "Because I really needed you today."
He brings his arm around my shoulder to entangle us together even more.
"You'd be surprised how many times I think the same thing."
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What did the pink panther say when he stepped on an ant?
deadant... deadant... deant deadant deadant deadant deadant.
LOLOLOLOLOL (if you know the pink panther theme song;)
I don't think there's anyone who stays up for these updates, but if you do, I'm sorry this one's up so late. It's actually technically Saturday, but since I haven't gone to bed yet, I still consider it Friday. It's been a very busy day. I'm not sure when the next update will be, but I promised two a week, so it'll be before next Friday. I'll shoot for Tuesday but I'm expecting another busy week. Blahhhhh school and work and all that real world junk.
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