"She would not show that she was afraid,
But being and feeling alone was too much to face,
Though everyone said that she was so strong,
What they didn't know is that she could barely carry on"
-
*Shawn's Point Of View*
It has been a few days since Emily told me to give her some space. And I respected that. I didn't pester her with questions, I just let her think.
Although I had given her space I had kept an eye on her was beginning to get worried.
She looked like she hadn't sleeved much, her under eye bags were always prominent. She also had barely been eating, I'm not sure if she was trying to avoid having dinners with me but I'd always cooked for her but the takeaway containers began to stack up in the fridge.
Today was the 31st Of October, aka Halloween and we were on our way to class. She had decided to not go to the first few classes this week but she was finally going.
I didn't even realise how much this had hurt her until I saw her crumble in front of me. She avoided eye contact from me and only really talked to me if she was going somewhere and I needed to come.
I was so caught up in the excitement of Camila being here. She was one of my friends back in Toronto but it seemed as if she was a completely different person now. And when she kissed me I knew that I was fucked.
I pulled into the parking lot of the school, locking the doors before she could leave.
She yanked on the door handle in attempt to leave.
"Em" I whispered making her stop and just sit there.
"I'm really worried about you" I admitted.
She stayed silent, I took that as an opportunity to continue speaking.
"I know I fucked up. I really fucked up. I'll do anything for you to be yourself again because your not okay. Stop pretending you okay" I whispered grabbing her hand.
And for the first time in 4 days she looked at me. Her brown eyes looked sad and confused.
She looked down as I saw her bottom lip begin to quiver.
"No no no. Don't cry" I said lifting her chin to look up at me with her glossy eyes.
"If you want me to back off and leave you alone then I will. We can forget this ever happened... if you really want to" I said feeling like a tightening sensation in my chest. I really didn't want to forget about her and everything we had but if it was going to make her okay again than it was worth it.
"It's n-not that I want to forget y-you. I just n-need some s-space to think ya know" she said wiping away a tear that began to fall.
"Yeah I understand. Just talk to me if you aren't feeling okay" I said not breaking eye contact savouring the moment of her beautiful eyes.
She nodded looking down at her lap. I flipped the unlock switch. She sniffed wiping her nose with end of her hoodie before taking a deep breath. She swung the door open, grabbing her bag that was now a handbag and shutting it behind her.
-
*Emily's Point Of View*
Class was boring. Usually I was intrigued by psychology but not today. Rhylee has kept making jokes and saying things but I wasn't in the mood.
The bell rang making me instantly put my laptop in my new bag along with the rest of my stuff.
"Hey Em, Carly and I were thinking about going to James' Halloween party tonight. You down?" She spoke not wanting Shawn to hear who was walking behind us.
"I don't know... I'll see" I spoke knowing well that I wasn't going to that stupid party.
"Okay well text me if you want to go and Carly and I can pick you up" she said with a small smile before heading to her car.
I made my way to the passenger seat of my car before sitting down.
I hated feeling like this. I know I was becoming so distant from everyone but I just feel like opening up to anyone is just a huge mistake. Especially with Shawn. Because every single time I open up to anyone about anything, I always regret it because they always seem to disappoint me.
Usually I would talk to Carly or even my mom and just cry on their shoulder. But I've just become so tired of being let down that I just want to keep everything on the inside even though it's destroying me.
I felt like a cold hearted bitch but I guess that's what heartbreak does to you.
"You right'?" I heard Shawn ask making me look up at him.
"Yep" I said.
No.
He started the car and we began to drive home as I laid my head back against the car head rest as I watched the world go on outside.
-
"Please come Emily. You've been off lately. It'll make you feel better" Carly begged for the 'who knows how many' time.
"I don't even have an outfit" I said trying to come up with any excuse to not go to this Halloween party.
"I got you one. Pleaseeee. You don't want my money wasted do you?" She asked making me chuckle.
"Of course not" I said before sighing.
"I'll be there in 20 minutes" I said hanging up as I heard her cheer.
I grabbed my keys and phone before heading out.
"I'm going to Carly's for a bit" I said biting my lip nervously knowing damn well I was partly lying.
"Okay. Text me when your on your way home and I'll cook up some food" he said shooting me a soft smile.
God. I loved his smile.
I smiled back before walking through the front door with the full intention of getting completely smashed until I couldn't think to hear my own thoughts anymore.
-
A/N: here is another updateeee and I'll be updating when I get home from work. But also just want to thank you guys so much for all your lovely comments because they seriously make my day and sometimes it's hard to reply to all of them but thank you so much for reading and stuff xxx