Shock.
That word and more was what she felt when she saw him. She stood transfixed for a whole minute, unpleasant memories rapidly flooding her brain as she tried to comprehend the sight before her.
She knew she'd see him one day, although she'd dreaded the possibility. She'd actually hoped to see him when she was older and accomplished so she could rub it in his face. She'd imagined their reunion countless times in different case scenarios, from him being a family man to him being a pauper on the street.
But she'd prepared their encounter for years to come when she was sure she'd be stable, not now when she was juggling a runaway father and a boyfriend she had uncomfortable questions to ask.
She finally broke eye contact with him when she doubled over to cough as all the breath she'd been holding in was choking her. He couldn't see her like this, she groaned.
She pondered on what to do. A huge side of her wanted to lunge at him and tear him apart and remind him of everything he'd put her through. Another side wanted to walk out and be an adult but the last part wanted desperately to know what he was doing washing dishes at a restaurant!
They said he'd left to another state, so what was he doing back here?
Surely he should have left the country on scholarship as he was the smartest person she knew. That had been his dream.
Or did his dad own this restaurant?
Then it wouldn't make any sense for him to be crouched here washing plates.
Dan was watching her intently, but that was all Oma could read from his expressionless face within the minute they'd stared at each other. He didn't look sorry, or even surprised to see her and Oma didn't know which part made her madder. Surely if she'd creeped her way into someone's life, made her pregnant and left, completely ruining her life, she'd at least look sorry if she ever saw them face to face.
A pulling sensation below her stomach reminded her on her reason for being at this part of the restaurant in the first place. She hopped on her feet in reflex, holding her heavy stomach and glanced around to see if there was a stall sign she hadn't seen before.
The plate Dan had been holding fell out of his hand and made a loud clash that seemed to awake him from his own shock. He blinked twice and his eyes softened as if he were only seeing her for the first time.
Beside herself, she couldn't help but reminisce. Those brown eyes she'd fallen in love with, that face that'd smiled down at her countless times, those full lips that'd comforted and kissed her, those uniformed legs that'd run away from her.
She could remember everything. The way he'd held her face countless times when he'd told her everything was going to be okay, the times they'd rushed off and had quickies so they wouldn't be caught and the times he'd actually looked into her eyes and told her he loved her while he slowly and continually plunged into her.
What was she thinking!
"Uhm. If you're looking for the bathroom, it's the third room at the next hallway by your left." He said casually, breaking them both from their spell and went back to picking up the dish that'd slipped out of his hands.
She paused.
Really! That was it?
He was just going to act like he didn't know her? She was going to show him, but first, she had to pee urgently.
She took off at once and went straight for the corridor that went left as that was the only direction she could remember. Luckily, she found the stall with the picture of a stick figure woman on the door and quickly got in and emptied her bladder. The seat was clean enough so she put a wrap around it before sitting.
Everything came back to her in vivid detail. The first day he'd spoken to her, the first day they kissed to the first day they'd made love. She winced , remembering she'd practically forced herself on him.
She recalled the day she'd realized she was pregnant, the disappointment on Nia's face, the day she'd told him and the way he'd comforted her and told her he'd stay no matter what. It felt like yesterday when she'd entered that God forsaken boy's stall and found her name under a list with other cheap girls he'd fucked before, during and after her.
She'd carried his baby alone and depressed and just when she was beginning to see the bright side in life again, that baby had been cruelly taken away from her.
And the boy who'd ruined her life was just a corridor away.
She felt tears pooling in her eyes. Oh, but they were angry tears. He had no right to ruin the little she had going on for her after him. She wasn't going to cry, she told herself, but dabbed the tissue on the sides of her eyes just in case.
After about five minutes of recollecting herself in the bathroom, she came out with dry eyes and a decision. She wasn't going to talk to him. She wouldn't let him destroy her all over again.
She looked at the bathroom mirror one last time, desperately reminding herself she just didn't want everyone to know she was coming from the bathroom and not because she wanted Dan to find her pretty.
Her plan was easy.
She'd walk straight past without looking at him and continue to have a nice time with her mother.
She was walking straight past with her head held high as planned but couldn't help looking into the room he was in. There were no more dirty dishes but he was no longer there. Wow, she thought, even after all these years, his runaway skills were still as sharp as always.
Well, good riddance to bad rubbish.
A hand suddenly grabbed her upper arm and jerked her backward, earning a shriek from her.
"Jeez. It's me." He said and his mouth hung slightly open. His lips, those lips that'd done things she'd vowed to never do again but was thinking of. She looked up at him, marvelling at how tall he'd grown since she'd last seen him. Regaining her sense of thinking, she forcefully withdrew her arm from his grip. He had the guts to look surprised. She turned around to walk away and he drew her hand again.
"Look, I'm sorry." He said and the glazed look of his eyes actually looked sincere.
When she didn't say anything, he continued.
"I know what I did came off the wrong way to you but I had no choice. There were a lot of things going on and..."
"Came off the wrong way to me! You had no choice? What exactly was going on?" She snapped, all her resolve at being an adult and leaving gone with the wind.
"Oh. You said you're sorry, I completely forgive you. I forgive you for putting me through hell and leaving me with a baby all alone, making me quit school and leading me to have suicidal thoughts because you had a lot of things going on." She finished, using his own words against him.
Her little outburst had its effect on him and it gave her a little satisfaction, but he got over it.
"I know this is a lot to take in, but I really hoped to see you and settle things. I hope this is not a bad time. "
Oma thought she was going to explode. She was beyond furious at that moment. The nerve he had.
But that stubborn part of her desperately wanted to hear what exactly he had to say and why he was washing dishes at a restaurant.
Dan didn't expect the slap but it came anyway. His right cheek temporarily shone red as he held it and gasped at her in confusion and horror.
"I'll be right back." She said with as satisfied grin on her face and went back to Nia.
Nia was already talking with someone else when Oma came to tell her. After a short introduction, she waved her daughter off and focussed on the suited man she was talking with.
"Hold your phone oh."
She called after her daughter while she hung on her guest's every word.
She didn't want to get angry at her mother.
"Please sit." Dan said, maintaining a safe distance from her, probably afraid of another slap. She sat at the other end of the table, trying to keep herself from laughing. Immediately he opened his mouth, every trace of amusement was swept out of her.
"How's the baby?"
"He's none of your business." She snapped defensively.
"So he's a boy." He said and Oma wondered if he was trying to get a rise out of her.
"You said you wanted to explain what happened. " A sob was threatening to break out.
There was a long pause.
"Is it wrong for a dad to want to know what's up with his child? Every single day of my life since I left I've always thought about him."
One, two...
"Will you shut up, you idiot! You have no business with him and never will. The day you changed schools to protect your own name was the day you marked yourself out of his life. And now you claim to be a dad. I'd rather be called a bastard than have a dad like you!" She yelled and she felt her head shutting down. How she wished Phil were still alive so she could flaunt him in Dan's face.
She should never have agreed to this meeting in the first place. But she couldn't go back either. She wasn't ready to spend anytime with that man her mother was hogging.
"You...look, don't..." He started.
"Don't what? Speak to you in that manner, because you're my senior? So that entitlement never left you. Well, news flash. Your seniority is as useless to me as your whole existence was."
That was probably not what he'd wanted to say but he'd already begun to get her angry.
"Will you just let me speak?" He said quietly almost making her feel like a fool for lashing out.
"Like I said before, I had a lot of things going on before I left. It wasn't just because of you. I had different people threatening me over other issues entirely that had nothing to do with you. Since I left, I haven't been comfortable. I've been thinking about you really, how you and my child were doing. I always wanted to come back but I had everything to lose."
"So why are you here, washing plates?" She asked, making the job sound like the most pathetic thing in the world.
He looked down.
"I have no choice."
"What do you mean?" She asked and he sighed. Had something happened to his parents?
"Something happened and my parents kind of sent me out." He said, with his eyes on the floor.
Amara had told her his parents were very strict but she couldn't imagine what he could possibly do that'll make them actually send their A-grade son packing. That was over the top.
"What did you do?" She asked actually interested but he didn't answer. His eyes were still glued to the floor.
"Did you fight somebody? Did you join cult? What could possibly have made your parents send their son who would choose academics over anything in life, away. Just like that."
He gave her a look that said 'mind your business'.
She looked at him while he faced the floor and fidgeted with his hands and wondered what she'd seen in him in the first place. Scratch that. She knew what she'd seen in him. He was handsome, exceedingly intelligent and an important personality in their secondary school. But looking at him now, she realized all of that had no significance in real life anymore.
The only thing she felt for him now was pity. Whatever he'd done must have been really grave for his parents to have actually thrown him out.
She mused when she noticed a long scar on his neck she hadn't seen before.
"Does it have anything to do with this?" She asked, pointing at the thick scar that lined his neck. "Did you mix with the wrong crowd? He flinched and moved slightly away just in case she decided to touch it.
"I told you I had a lot of things going on."
Then something hit her.
He'd had a lot of things going on but he hadn't left until he'd gotten her pregnant. That could be the only thing that'd possibly make them disown him.
"There was another girl?" She asked in a low voice and when he didn't look at her, she drove on. "You made someone else pregnant? What's wrong with you?"
"She aborted it." He replied equally low enough she almost didn't hear him.
"Wow." She gasped. "You're even more pathetic than I thought."
"That's why I came back here!" He began, standing up. "I thought about you and the baby and I was hoping to see you and reconnect. I've been looking forward to this..."
"He's dead." She spat.
"What?"
"The baby. We're both AS. He died a year ago." Those feelings were coming back now and she didn't want to feel any of them.
Dan looked like he wasn't taking the the news in any better. His face turned white, then red and he staggered to the wall and slipped till he was on the floor. His mouth opened but no sound came out of it.
He looked pathetic. To act like he cared when just years ago he hadn't batted an eyelid before running for his reputation. He didn't come back because of her. He was only here because he had nowhere else to go.
She left the room quietly, leaving him to his own fate. She'd finally had this encounter and although it didn't go exactly as she'd planned, she was content. She had the feeling it was all over. That part of her life was over now and it opened way for her to embrace the present. For once in three years, she felt free.
As she walked out of the room, she saw the side of Dan she'd been to blinded to see. He was pathetic and although she loved Phil, she was happy she had nothing connecting Dan and her.
When she got back to her seat at the restaurant, Nia was still talking with the suited man. That was actually good. It gave her a little time to herself.
That time was short-lived anyway because the man probably felt uncomfortable with her presence and excused himself.
Their ride home was silent but content. There was only one thought in her mind.
She was free!