The past two weeks have been hectic. Those fourteen days were spent doing homework, planning the duet, starting my semester projects for my other classes and studying for tests. Even though it was a lot of hard work and stress, I was able to keep my mind off everything that happened with dad.
It was Tuesday after school and Austin requested if we could practice in the music room. Even though I had a lot Chemistry homework and Advanced Functions to study for, I agreed to practice. Music has always been my escape. And I need to escape from the stress and anxiety I’ve been feeling these past two weeks.
As I made my way down the music room after fourth period, my phone vibrated in my pocket. I received a text from Austin.
Austin: Meet me outside ASAP!
I shrugged at his text and started walking towards the front doors of the school. When I stepped foot out the doors, I found Austin sitting at one of the benches, with a guitar case resting on the other half of the bench. Were we not practicing at the school anymore? I quickly walked over to Austin and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and flashed me his breath taking smile.
“Are we not practicing here anymore?” I asked.
“Yeah. We’re going somewhere else.” He said as he stood up and carried the guitar case in his right hand.
“Where?”
“Secret.” He winked. “Follow me. It’s not so far from here.”
Feeling too tired to protest and bombard him with more questions I trailed behind him as he walked down the street. We chatted about our day and about random topics that came to mind. We came to a stop at the crosswalk and waited for the pedestrian signal to turn neon green, so we could cross the street. As we waited, Austin asked me a question that caught me off guard.
“Why have you been so distant lately?”
After finding out that the reason I can no longer see my dad again was because he’s raising another family, I have been talking to people less, including my brothers, Evan and Sophia. I’ve been eating lunch alone in the music room, I walked to and from school without Kale and the only time I talked to Austin was when we had to discuss our duet.
But even though I understood why he was asking that question, I acted like I didn’t.
“I don’t know what you mean.” I lied.
“I know you’re lying Kat.” He said. The pedestrian sign turned green and we walked on the crosswalk, onto the other side of the street and continued walking some more. “After I picked up Arianna at your place two weeks ago she told me that you were crying. And the next day, you started to be so distant.”
I shrugged. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m completely fine.”
“No you’re not.” He said as turned left. “You only say fine when you’re not fine.”
It surprised me a bit that he notices that. No one really does. But I didn’t show it.
“No I don’t. When I say I’m fine, I actually mean it.” I said.
He shook his head. “No Kat. I’ve been your duet partner for almost two months now and I have noticed quite a few of your small habits.”
“Prove it.” I challenged.
“Gladly.” He smirked. “When you are actually okay, you say ‘I’m alright’. You only say ‘I’m fine’ when you’re not fine.”
We arrived at a park. We walked on the soft green grass and through the many trees as I listened to my habits that Austin has noticed.
“Whenever you get nervous or anxious, you play with your necklace. You cry whenever you are scared and relieved. You get really restless when you sit for more than an hour, that’s why after about an hour into the period you find some excuse to get up from your seat. You have a tendency of tapping your pencil on your notebook when you get bored in class. You get distracted easily. And you are very apprehensive whenever you meet someone new.”
I stared at him with my mouth slightly open. I didn’t expect him to know so much of my small habits within the time we were assigned to be partners. I found it really adorable that he pays attention to the small things. But of course, I didn’t admit that out loud.
“We’re here.” Austin said.
We were standing in front of a small old theatre that’s been closed down for two years. Many people were walking pass us going to the neighbouring stores, fast food places and bakeries across from here. Austin sat on the steps and opened the guitar case. He pulled out the guitar and slung the strap over his shoulder.
“We’re singing out here?” I asked.
“Yeah. We’ll just do random covers.” he responded.
“But what about our duet? We don’t have a song”
“Can we not think about the duet? Let’s just do this for fun. Please.”
“Fine.” I said. “What song are we doing first?”
“Thinking Out Loud.”
He sent me a wink which caused my heart to skip a beat and began strumming the introduction of the song. He started singing the first verse.
…..
Four songs later, a crowd has formed around us. It was nerve wracking at first to see all these strangers watch us sang but as we continued to cover random songs, it was actually fun. It was a reminder of why I love singing so much.
When the sunset was beginning to set, Austin packed the guitar and started walking back home.
“Now wasn’t that fun?” he said sending me a nudge.
I nudged him back and let out a giggle. “Yeah. I haven’t sung for fun in so long. It felt nice.”
He nodded. We walked the route we took to get here. The streets were becoming less busy as well as the sidewalks. The descending sun shined a bright beautiful orange color making the clouds look like puffs of cotton candy. Summer sunsets were a stunning thing to witness. Watching those small things in life always reminded me how lucky I am.
“You know you still didn’t answer my question from earlier.” Austin said.
A confused look made its way onto my face. “What question?”
“Why have you been so distant these past two weeks?”
I didn’t answer. I pretended like I didn’t hear him. I didn’t want to talk about what happened with my father out here in public. It was something I wish I could forget but I know I never can. Thankfully Austin didn’t repeat his question or interrogate me with other questions. I guess he understood that I didn’t want to talk about it. We continued the rest of our journey in comfortable silence.
About thirty minute later we were back at my house. We sat on the porch steps, side by side, enjoying what was left of the sunset. The evening breeze kicked in which made it even more relaxing outside.
“You don’t have to tell me.” Austin quiet spoke. “But you know you can talk to me if you’d like.”
“I know.” I smiled. “It’s just… a long story I guess.”
He leaned backwards, his elbows propped onto the next step. “Well I got loads of time.”
“Okay,” I said. “Well it started a few weeks ago. Kale and I went to the cemetery to visit my mother and we saw our dad.”
Austin sat up straight and faced me. A wave of shock hit him, his mouth slightly open. “Oh shit. Why was he there?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. But when I saw him all that anger I’ve felt for the past three years melted away. I missed him. And when I found him I thought that maybe I would be able to see each other again.”
“What did he say?”
“He said no.” I gave him a sad smile. A tear escaped my eye. “When I went to pick up Arianna, I saw him at the daycare too. He was picking up a little a girl; his three year old daughter.”
“Wait does that mean…”
“That he abandoned Logan, Kale and I to raise another family?” I said finishing his question. “Yes that’s what it means.”
“I don’t know what to say.” He said softly.
“Well there’s really nothing to say.” I responded. “It’s just… What hurts the most is knowing that he never loved me as much as I thought. Honestly, were we not good enough for him to be called his children? Did he not love us at all and thought leaving us after mom’s accident was a good time to show it?”
“I don’t know Kat. But at least you know. Even though it was almost four years late, you finally know the truth. I do know why my parents are divorced.”
“Because your dad cheated on your mom.”
“Yes but I don’t know why he cheated on her. It just sucks knowing that maybe he never loved her at all; that I am not a product of their love but maybe an accident.”
I never thought of it that way. For all this time I was mad for not getting an explanation on dad’s disappearance until now. Austin was right; at least I did know the truth. All those questions that harassed my mind for years have all been answered. I should at least be happy about that. But I am not.
“I know.” I let out a sad sigh. “But I feel like I will never be loved. When we’re brought into this earth the first people who are supposed to love us are our parents. It’s hard to think that someone else will love me if my parents, or in this case parent, never loved me. How can I-“
My words were cut off when Austin’s lips smashed right into mine. I froze for a second in shock before responding to the kiss. It was magic, the way his lips connected with mine; like they were meant to be connected. He placed his hand at the small of my back which sent jolts of electricity through my body. Feeling slightly dizzy, I pulled away from his lips. Our foreheads rested against each other as we breathed heavily to catch our breaths.
“Don’t ever think that you are unloved.” He said breathlessly. “Because I love you.”
This feeling was new to me. I couldn’t find a word to describe. I pushed the thought aside because right now I was happy to feel his breath come and go with mine.
A/N: Oh how I have missed being on wattpad. I went four full days without it and it feels so good to back.
So how do you like this chapter? It was kind of hard to write this chapter but I'm content with how it turned out.
School has been so busy *cries* I don't get loads of homework but my teachers this semester aren't the best so I'm basically teaching myself the whole lesson every day after school. Plus I'm also in my school's drumline and funk band so I have to practice my stuff for that too.
Sorry for slow updates. But like I said my goal is to update at least once every week.
So until the next update, remember to comment your thoughts / opions/ advice/ critiques and to vote for this chapter! (:
-Melissa