I don't remember ever falling asleep, but when I wake up, I'm in Will's bed. He must have carried me here last night. I don't recall anything past climbing down the roller coaster except crying and Will's gentle words. It's hard to believe yesterday even happened.
As usual, Will is up before me. I'm starting to doubt that he actually sleeps at all. He still looks exhausted, and the dark circles under his eyes draw my attention.
"I didn't mean to wake you," he says in an abnormally deep and scratchy voice. It's the kind of voice someone would have after their favorite concert or a bad cold.
"Why aren't you sleeping?"
"I tried. I just couldn't, with everything that happened yesterday."
I wish I could just delete yesterday from both of our memories, but I know I can't. It needs to be talked about whether I like it or not.
"I can't even begin to explain how sorry I am."
"Then don't," I say getting right to the point. "Saying it a thousand times isn't going to make a difference. All that matters is that you mean it."
There's a significant light brought back into his eyes. He was expecting me to run away, I know that. He didn't think I would forgive him, but he doesn't know how much I care about him. Even though there are times that I might get seriously pissed off, I can't imagine life without him anymore. I don't want him to take advantage of that. So, I'll keep it to myself for now.
"I mean it. Jessi, I swear I mean it. It killed me to see you walk away. I didn't think you would come back."
My hand instinctively reaches out to caress his face, and he leans into me.
"I'm back," I whisper and he closes his eyes with a sigh. I can't stay away from him, and although that excites me on one end, it frightens me on another. I don't like depending on people, and I can use what happened yesterday as a prime example. But, I'm learning how to deal with it, and there's no one else I'd rather be with than Will.
"You scared me half to death with that little stunt you pulled," he says referring to the roller coaster breaking.
"You deserved to me scared."
"There's that fiery girl I've been missing," he says with a slight smile.
"Have you talked to anyone yet?"
I know I don't really feel like dealing with my mom, or Leah, or anyone else at the moment. Fighting with Will was a big enough ordeal.
"No, I took you straight here from the amusement park. I think I earned bonus points for being able to drive with you on my lap."
"You could have put me in the passenger seat."
"You wouldn't let go of me." He opens his eyes and I look away embarrassed. I was so consumed in my own thoughts that I didn't even realize what was happening around me.
"I'm sorry," I mutter. Will takes my face in both of his hands to bring it back to his.
"Don't be sorry... ever. You're not allowed to be sorry again. What I did, keeping that secret from you, can justify for anything you could possibly be sorry for."
"Will-"
I try to move my eyes away from his burning passionate ones, but I can't.
"I'm serious. You have nothing to be sorry for." I try to say something but he interrupts me. "And no arguing on that."
"I thought I got to call the shots now."
"Well, think again Rosie."
I try not to smile, but fail miserably. My extreme anger for him seems to have disappeared into thin air, like it never existed. But then I think about Mom and my hatred towards life and everyone in it slowly builds up again.
"What is it?" Will asks.
"I just have a lot to deal with."
He nods and finally releases my face.
"I'll help you, if you need me to."
I can talk to Kira and Avery about this... maybe. I'll need to be very careful with the information I disclose, but I would love to hear their advice.
"Shoot!" I say remembering my roommates.
"What? What happened?" Will looks around the room as if he's looking for a murderer.
"I never called Kira, and I've been gone all night." I scramble to push the covers off of me. She was so worried about me last time I disappeared for a night. "I need to call her."
Will reaches out to stop me and I give him a quick confused glance before continuing my mission to find my phone.
"Avery already called, and I told her you're alright," he says calmly.
Will is slowly climbing the ladder back to the top of my favorite people list. I told myself he slipped down to the bottom after I figured out what he did, but I'm not sure if he's been anywhere except the top since the first time I was at his house. I need to start being completely honest with myself. I care for Will more than my feelings allow me to realize.
"Thank you," I say. The tension in my shoulders releases.
"No problem, but you should probably talk to them. They seemed apprehensive."
He tosses me my phone, which was sitting on the bedside table. I thank him quietly and unlock my phone to see 32 missed calls; 7 from Leah, 2 from Avery, 1 from Willow, 4 from different people in my classes, and 18 from my mother. I'm about to make a comment to Will when my phone rings again.
'Mom' flashes across my screen.
I quickly press decline and sigh.
"When are you going to talk to her?" Will asks from across the room.
"How did you know my mom called?"
He gives me a who-else-would-it-be look and rubs his hands along the seam of the comforter as he keeps eye contract with me. For the first time I realize that he's shirtless and I'm still in my clothes from last night. I don't think I'll ever get used to looking at him without a shirt on. He smirks when he notices my districted stare. I quickly think of something to say before he can make some smug comment about where my thoughts are traveling.
"I don't know when I'll talk to her. I'm just going to put it off as long as I can."
"Great plan," he says dryly.
"You're being sarcastic."
"Yeah, I am."
"Well, what do you think I should do? I don't want to talk to her."
"But you should. She's your mother and she loves you and she-"
"Don't start this talk with me right now, Will Hastings, because it already took enough out of me to forgive you. I don't need you on my mom's side."
He holds up his hands in defense. I wonder if I'm being too harsh, but all I have to picture is my mom standing in the kitchen with Ethan right behind me and all the anger comes back.
"You're right," he says quieter. "You can talk to her whenever you want. You never have to talk to her again if you don't want to."
"Now you're just acting like a kiss up," I say crossing my arms.
"Maybe. Can you blame me if I am?"
"No." I chuckle a little at his cute smile. "You need all the brownie points you can get."
He gets out of bed and makes his way over to me.
"How many points am I going to need to win you back?"
"You already have me back," I never left. "But it's going to take quite a few for me to like you again," I say teasingly.
"Do I get a point per kiss?"
He wraps his arms around me and my worries float away from his touch.
"Sure, but you need at least a hundred points to hang out with me after school, and I don't think-"
He silences me with his lips and pulls away a few seconds later.
"Then I better get started."
And he kisses me again.
I should have said a thousand.
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"So your mom is having an affair with your boyfriends dad?" Avery asks to clarify even though I've told her three times now. All three of us are sitting on my bed as they revel in my life drama.
"First of all, I don't think it was an affair. And second, he's Will's step-dad."
I decided to leave out the whole maid thing so people don't realize how rich Will is. I'm surprised how much he really keeps his home and work life a secret from school. It's like he lives in two different worlds.
"Wow," Kira says again.
"And you can't tell anyone," I say for the tenth time. "Please."
"We won't," Avery promises. I hope I can trust them. I'm trying out this whole trust thing, and praying it works. And I just really had to talk to someone else about this.
"So what should I do?"
They both look at me, then at each other, then back at me.
"I think what Will did was pretty shitty," Kira says.
"We're past that, Kira." I'm trying not to think about him any more. I just want that situation to be totally resolved, because I know I'll end up going back to him. Might as well save myself the torture and forgive and move on now. "I'm asking about my mom. I don't want to talk about Will." I basically don't want to over think my decision.
"You need to talk with your mom, and Leah," Avery says. I was afraid that was the advice I'd get.
"Yeah," Kira agrees. "I'm sure you'll feel better once you've talked to them, especially your mom. There are probably a ton of details that your missing and it's making things seem worse than they actually are."
"Okay," I say admitting the inevitable.
"Call her now," Avery suggests.
"No, then I won't be able to get her off the phone. I'll just text her."
I'll deal with my mom first, since that's the most important, and the biggest scandal that needs to be resolved. I'll be more content with the situation once I've heard her side. Then I can decide if I never want to talk to her again.
To: Mom From: Jessi
Are you still in town?
Ten seconds later...
To: Jessi From: Mom
Oh Darling! I'm so glad to hear you're safe. I'm staying at a Hilton downtown. Please come and talk to me.
I roll my eyes at the fact that she's staying at a Hilton. I wonder if Ethan told her she could stay there for free. I push the thought of Ethan and my mom together to the back of my mind. It's disgusting and disturbing.
To: Mom From: Jessi
I'll be over later today.
She sends back a novel mixed with apologies and love and something about how she'll be free all day. That's the only thing I actually read before throwing my phone on my bed. It's for the best that I just talk to her today instead of putting it off. Something tells me she's going to stay in town until I confront her. I don't want to be around her until I calm down, but that could take weeks, or more.
My phone rings and I feel like throwing it against the wall.
"Goddamn it," I whine and push my phone to the side. Avery picks it up and reads the caller ID.
"It's Will," she says and I snatch the phone from her. She gives me a smirk and a wink before going into the other room. Kira just transfers herself to her bed and stays emerged in her phone.
"Hi," I answer.
"Hey, Rosie." My cheeks automatically blush. "I was just checking up on you." It's only been about four hours since he dropped me off. "Have you decided what you're going to do about your mom?"
"I'm going to talk to her later today."
"I knew you'd make the right choice, Jess."
I feel this odd sense of accomplishment when he says that. I'm doing this for me, not for him, but I can tell just by his voice that he's proud of me. I suddenly want to meet with my mom right now.
"Yeah, well, I'd have to talk to her eventually."
"It's kind of weird for me to ask, but I thought I'd offer to come with you, if you wanted me to, like, come for support, or whatever. I'm not sure. I just thought I'd let you know I have your back."
It's always adorable when he stumbles over his words, no matter the circumstance.
"Thanks, Will. But I think I should go by myself."
"Okay, good luck. Don't kill anybody."
"William,"
"I'm joking! But seriously, good luck. Tell me how it goes."
"I will. I'll talk to you later."
"Goodbye, Love."
And I didn't already think it was possible for me to blush anymore on the phone.
"Now, what could he have possibly said to make you that red?" Kira asks looking at me.
"Kira!" I say throwing my pillow towards her as she laughs at her own sexual innuendo. I've become quite the blusher since Will became my boyfriend, and I can't help it. Kira obviously has a perverted mind, and so does Avery. It keeps things entertaining.
"He was just wishing me luck with talking to my mom."
"Yeah, okay," she says rolling her eyes.
"I'm serious!"
"Okay!" she says more sincerely but with a mischievous smile. "I just wish I had a William Hastings in my life."
"You will, trust me." I smile looking down at my phone. "They're just hard to come by."
"Don't I know it, Honey."
Looking at the rest of the world reminds me how good I have it with Will. I'm not going to end everything just because of a stupid secret. This really is my mom's issue, and Will just happened to be involved. Everything is not always going to be filled with sunshine and flowers. I'm going to hang onto Will as long as I possibly can.
But right now, I have my mother to deal with.
I repeat Will's good luck in my head as I tie my shoes and head out the door. Honestly, the advice to not kill anyone is the one I need the most right now.
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Why did the storm trooper buy an iPhone?
Becuase he couldn't find the Droid he was looking for.
AHHAHA Star Wars joke XD
Next update will probably be Tuesday again. I'm liking the Tuesday/Friday update schedule thing until I can find time to write more. I always have you guys on my mind:) Even during math class, I'm thinking of new ideas for this story.
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