Many times, sorrow not known to others could only be released in dreams as though it was engraved in the heart and no matter how hard you ignored it, it would explode at the slightest touch, erupting into million pieces, inflicting an unbearable and endless pain.
Sophia had always been an average student with mediocre grades and had entered a local university.
Even though Sophia and Isabelle weren't biological sisters, they still came from the same ancestral home, and ever since Isabelle's parents died in a car accident, she had been living in the same house as Sophia, forming a tie akin to that of sisters.
Sophia left her hometown and would often call Isabelle and James, inviting them to come over. After multiple invites, Isabelle and James finally caved, flying over during winter.
The city was similar, both flourishing cities without much for play. Hence, Sophia suggested they head over to NY.
James had no objections and, since Alexander was there, Isabelle obviously didn't have any objections either. The three of them then headed for NY.
James and Alexander were biological brothers with different mothers but they had always been close. With just a phone call, James managed to successfully invite Alexander out.
They stayed for four days and Alexander accompanied them through all of them. After spending four days and twelve meals together, Isabelle managed to get closer to Alexander than in the four years they had spent as schoolmates.
On the last day in NY, they visited the shopping mall. As girls, she and Sophia wanted to buy all the pretty things there and, since they had always been close to James, who was rich, they spent his money mercilessly.
Spending a few thousand on a simple item was a usual occurrence for the three of them, but Alexander grew increasingly silent, the light in his eyes dimming as he saw them spending money so freely. In the end, he threw an excuse before going to the washroom. Sitting in one of the tiny cubicles, he took long deep puffs from his cigarette, quickly finishing the whole box he had in his pocket. Just then, they called to ask where he was.
In NY, Isabelle added Alexander on a social app and would often find an excuse to talk to him when she returned. Even though they were only making small talk, the conversation never seemed to end.
As long as their hearts were close, distance was not an issue.
At that time, there was already a one-hour train ride between where Alex and Sophia used to live. Hence, Isabelle would often visit Sophia and together they would make their way over to NY, stating that it was more fun there. Once she was in NY, she would ask Alexander for a meal jokingly.
Everytime, Alexander would accept her request, bringing her and Sophia out for a meal.
By the fourth year of her university, Isabelle had accumulated a thick stack of train tickets, and plane tickets.
Each stack of tickets represented a meeting she had had with Alexander.
Oh, not true! The stack minus three would be the accurate representation for the number of meetings they had had.
Yes, he had not met her three times she went over.
Before the first time he had refused to meet her, she had went over to Sophia's as usual, but since she hadn't informed her prior to her arrival, she had gone to France with her friends, leaving her alone.
Unfamiliar with the city, she took the train down to NY. This was the first time she had gone down alone. Previously, she would always have the company of Sophia or James. Throughout the entire train ride, she was trying to figure out an excuse to meet Alexander.
In the end, before she could think of an excuse, an excuse came to her.
Due to her absent-mindedness, she realized only after exiting the train station that her wallet was missing.
At that time, she was penniless and in an unfamiliar place. Instead of feeling upset, she felt glad that someone had stolen her wallet.
She left Alexander a message and he asked for her location, telling her to stay there. She obeyed, standing at the exact same spot for nearly three hours until she saw Alexander rush over.
Alexander had rushed over clothed in an ancient costume. It was an extremely worn and dirty costume that attracted everyone's attention.
Only after they entered a cab did, she realize that Alexander was filming in NY when he received her text.
Since Isabelle had lost her wallet, her identification card was missing as well. Without an ID, she wasn't able to check into a hotel. Hence, Alexander brought her to his rented apartment near his school.
It was an old apartment that was relatively small. The interior was simple with just some basic furniture: a bed, a desk with an old computer on top, an open style kitchen, and a washroom.
Once they reached the apartment, Alexander took a shower and changed into a fresh set of clothes, then signalled for Isabelle to shower before leaving with his wallet.
When she came out of from the shower, Alexander had already returned with a bag of food he had placed on the desk.
After dinner, Alexander changed the bedsheets before preparing to return to his hostel.
Isabelle reached forward to grab his hand.
Thinking that she was afraid, Alexander remained silent. Sitting in front of his computer, he turned it on.
Isabelle lay on the bed playing with her phone.
The apartment was silent besides the buzzing emitted by the computer.
Time flew and it was 11 pm in the blink of an eye. Alexander laid out a mattress and laid down on the floor, while Isabelle occupied the bed. The blanket covering her had a light fragrance, the exact same scent that Alexander carried. Subconsciously, the scent flustered her, and her heart beat rapidly.
That night was a quiet night. They looked into the darkness, enjoying the silence as their thoughts ran. Listening to each other's breathing, they gradually sunk into a deep sleep.
Halfway through the night, it started to pour. Thunder struck and lighting flashed, but the ferocious weather did nothing to dampen Isabelle's spirits. She remained asleep with a hint of a smile.
The next day, Isabelle went to apply for a temporary ID. Alexander helped her buy a plane ticket and sent her to the airport personally.
Before she had entered the customs, Alexander took out his wallet, forcing a few hundred-dollar bills into her hand. Despite usually speaking little, he had told her in a whispered tone to take care of herself and to call him once she reached back.
At that time, they were getting increasingly closer as though a relationship would blossom anytime soon.
But somehow, from that day onwards, everything changed drastically.
The first thing Isabelle did after returning was to make a new ID and the minute she received it, she booked a ticket. Dragging Sophia to NY, she called Alexander as usual.
Alexander said that he was filming and wasn't able to rush over.
She said that she could visit him at the shooting place.
He told her that the show was private and outsiders weren't allowed.
At that time, she didn't think much, believing that he was indeed busy. She was just a little disappointed and so left NY after only two days.
One month later, she visited NY again, but Alexander said he was out of town, filming.
After another half a month, she went to NY yet again and Alexander used the same filming excuse to reject her once more.
Alexander was getting increasingly popular at that time, after doing well in a few memorable roles.
Some of Isabelle's hostel mates were even starting to fantasize about him.
Females were naturally sensitive species and Isabelle had already sensed that Alexander was avoiding her, but she had no idea why.
She thought that it was probably her love that was causing her random thoughts.
Hence, after learning that he had someone he liked, she used a good friend's tone to ask him about it.
Isabelle didn't dare to continue remembering, tears pouring down her cheeks furiously.
That line was like a nightmare, "No matter who I like, it would never be you."
It would never be you...
Until that moment, from her middle school till the fourth year of her university, she had carried a torch for him for eight years. For those eight long years, she had loved him, worked hard for him, did silly things for him, dreamed of him, thought about him, and had dedicated her entire soul and life to him. But this guy, the guy she had given eight precious years to had told her that no matter who he liked, it would never be her.
Her one sided love, the feelings she had been harbouring died before even sprouting.
From that day onwards, her love for him had to become a secret.
She started by trying to avoid him and gradually not meeting him completely. Occasionally, she would hear about him from James. She knew that he was doing very well in the industry, she knew that he had won the best screen actor award yet again and had even bought Global Entertainment...
Even if James didn't tell her, she could still find out easily. He was famous globally and every little detail about his life would become a headliner, causing a sensation.
Afterwards, she would subconsciously try to avoid him, but everywhere she went, she could see posters of him from the endorsements he was doing.
She was clearly aware that he did not like her, and yet, every time she saw his posters, she would stare at them mesmerized, trying to spot any changes compared to the face in her memory.
As she recalled those times, Isabelle started really crying, unable to control her sorrow.
Her tears then woke her up from her dream.
In a daze, she opened her eyes to the familiar bedroom. She stared at the wall for a long while before realizing that it had actually been a dream and her pillow was wet from her tears.
Isabelle continued to stare at the wall. It was already 12 am... When she returned home in the afternoon, she had fallen asleep after taking her medicine.
Isabelle left her bed, heading to the bathroom to wash her face. Taking her medicine, she left the room and walked to the kitchen for a glass of water.
After swallowing her medicine, she took out some frozen dumplings from the freezer. She heated them up before sitting down alone at the dining table to eat her food.
While she was eating, she heard a car outside. She turned to the window and saw a car driving in. Her grip on the chopsticks tightened unconsciously. She lowered her head and stared at the plate of dumplings. Soon, the door creaked open and Alexander entered.
Isabellesneaked a peak at him while he was changing his shoes at the entrance before lowering her head to focus on her plate of dumplings.
She acted exactly the same way as before when she was alone in the mansion, but deep in her heart, she was fully aware that her palms were damp from sweat.
Alexentered the living room, throwing his jacket onto the sofa. As he was loosening his tie, he caught sight of the lights in the kitchen. Inside, Isabelle was eating alone at a long dining table that could fit up to ten people.
He stopped loosening his tie and turned towards the European clock in the living room. It was nearly 1 am. He frowned slightly before throwing his tie on the sofa and turning to head up the stairs. After just two steps, he turned towards the dining area as though he had forgotten something.
Even though Isabelle was eating, her attention was focused on Alex. She was not looking at him but she could hear him fiddling around. She had originally relaxed when he had headed towards the staircase, but the next moment, he had approached the dining area.
Isabelle's heart clenched, her actions stiffening.
When he was in the living room, Alex wasn't able to see what she was eating, but once he entered the dining area, he could clearly see the plate of frozen dumplings. His frown deepened and his lips moved slightly as though he wanted to ask something. But he didn't. Taking large strides, he walked towards the fridge and opened it. Other than the mineral water he had ordered, there was only frozen dumplings and instant noodles inside.
Alex stared at the fridge for a while before reaching inside to take a bottle of mineral water. Opening it, he leaned against the large stone wall and downed a big gulp.
Uneasy due to Alex's presence, Isabelle finished her plate of dumplings rapidly before standing up to wash the plate. She dried her hands hurriedly and went back upstairs.
Just as Isabelle was coming out of the shower, Alex entered the bedroom.
The bathroom door was next to the bedroom and they bumped right into each other. Isabelle stiffened. She wanted to look up but couldn't muster up enough courage. In the end, she hung her head and rushed into the bedroom.
Alex swept a glance at Isabelle's back before going into the bathroom.
Down with a cold, Isabelle felt exhausted. She walked towards her side of the bed and plopped down. As she was about to fall into a deep sleep, she heard water streaming from the bathroom. That was when she realized that Alex was going to stay for the night!
Isabelle struggled out the bed, walking slowly to the dressing room to take the bear out.
Hugging the bear, she was halfway to the bed when Alex came out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his waist. Holding another towel in his hand, he dried his hair as he walked out.
Alex stopped momentarily when he saw Isabelle hugging the bear. Wearing a nonchalant expression, he walked towards the vanity table to blow dry his hair.
Through the mirror, he could see her place the bear in the middle of the bed. She then buried herself under the bed and lied down with her back facing his side of the bed.
Alex's eyes dimmed, and without realizing it, he increased the speed for the hairdryer, rapidly blowing his hair. He then threw the hair dryer on the vanity table and turned to look at the bed coldly.
Even with the bear in the middle, Isabelle still lay close to the edge.