Georgia's POV
It had been about a month since Darcy and I broke up. It had also been about a month since Pat and I had even talked.
Ever since we kissed that night, he hadn't talked to me at all. He hadn't even tried to reach out to me.
That put my confidence right down. The insecurities I had were coming to the surface. The way he made me feel and that sick feeling hadn't disappeared.
With the realisation that a 4 year relationship had just ended, I was in a bit of a bad state.
Even if it was a relationship that wasn't working for half of that time. I had only now realised that I shouldn't have stayed with him and that I wasted years of my 20's.
Tash and Grace were always there to comfort me every time I thought of what happened.
I wish it was Pat but clearly he wanted nothing to do with me. He made that very clear with the lack of contact.
Not even a message. Not a single call or anything. I hadn't heard his voice in what felt like forever and I hated it.
I wanted to be close again. Where we were before everything happened. Where I could tell him anything and not feel judged.
That was the Pat I longed for. Not the one that made me feel so small and alone. Not the guy that left me that night.
To me, he was a different person now.
I wanted to tell Pat how I actually felt about that kiss. I wanted to so badly but I was afraid.
Terrified of how he would react. I had never gone this long without talking to him.
I remembered whenever I was in trouble in high school or I was just having a bad day. Seeing his face, was the only thing that would make me feel better.
But now it couldn't have been more different. It was also a worry of mine. That everything had changed too much and maybe it wouldn't go back to the way it was before.
I sat on my bed pondering what I could do. Everyone was giving me advice but I didn't feel like there was anything to do.
I wanted so badly to be the one to talk to him. But I wasn't sure if I had it in me. I would need a lot more courage to go and tell him.
It wasn't going to be easy. I've had never done anything like that before.
But I think I wanted to. I wasn't sure what he thought because he didn't tell me anything.
He could have the same feelings that I had. He could actually feel the same way. I was hopeful and it was a good feeling.
Even if he didn't, I just couldn't stand the thought of us losing touch.
He was always my best friend and I knew I couldn't lose him. Everyone around me knew that I needed him.
I wasn't as happy without him. I had lost weight, I hadn't been sleeping as well and I hadn't smiled properly in a while.
Of course I had other things in my life cheering me up. But there were always thoughts about him in the back of my mind.
It was emotionally draining and I had enough. I wanted to take matters into my own hands and tell him how I felt.
Even if it meant a little embarrassment. Even if it made us drift further apart. I decided to take the risk because I knew that no matter what, this wouldn't end our friendship.
There was no harm in trying. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I waited longer and looked back on my life with regrets.
I didn't want any regrets regarding how I felt about Pat. That's what pushed me over to edge to tell him.
I walked out the door to my car, no looking back.
My hand was slightly shaky but I knew it was just a little bit of nerves. I knew if I had time to think about it, I would change my mind.
So I hopped in as quick as I could. This was something I needed to do. For my sake. So I could be happy again.
I drove there in the nick of time. I hopped out of my car, locking it behind me. My hands were shaking and my legs were trembling.
I took a deep breath and raised my fist to knock on the door and knocked gently. I looked down at my feet and back up when the door creaked open.
"Hi" I said simply.
Seeing his face after so long was confronting. Not seeing his smiling face everyday was something I never want to relive.
Because of how close we were before everything happened, I started off hopeful that we could pick up where we left off.
But there was a sombre feel to the atmosphere. And Pat's facial expressions telling me that wasn't the case. That something had changed.
"Georgia? What are you doing here?" He asked confused at my sudden appearance.
"I don't want to not talk to you anymore. It's killing me not to have you in my life Pat" I told him."Whatever happened that night-" I started.
"No Georgia, don't worry about it. It was my fault, it should have happened. I'm sorry I haven't talked to you in a while, I wanted to give you space" he told me.
I took it all in. I couldn't help but feel disappointed when he said it shouldn't have happened. But that was the risk I was taking. I just wanted my friend back.
"Right, well, I've really missed you. Are you free to catchup" I asked him hopefully.
"Yeah I'd love to, but now isn't really a good time. I'm kinda busy" he said looking behind him.
It threw me off a little bit, but I maintained composure.
"Oh, that's okay" I said.
I wasn't disappointed because I was just glad we were going to hangout.
Being able to hangout with him again. To have him in my life again. To be there to support each other. It lifted so much weight of my shoulders.
I had that burden that I had been carrying around ever since the kiss. And I wanted it gone.
I went back on my plan of telling him how I felt, but it didn't matter as much to me anymore. Because we had our whole lives ahead of us. There was plenty of time for me to tell him later on.
Right now I was just focused on getting him back in my life.
"Babe who's at the door?" I heard, yelled from a familiar voice.
The door opened wider and stood there was Lily with a condescending grin.
My heart sank to my stomach. Ideas and possibilities going off in my head like bullets.
That gut wrenching feeling of defeat that had become so familiar over the years.
It was that moment when you can actually feel the pain in your chest from seeing something that breaks your heart.
Pat looked at me apologetically.
"Oh Georgia, how are you?" She asked.
She was fake. Everything about her. Her attitude around me made me feel physically ill. Adding to the sickness I was already feeling from the new information.
"What are you doing here?" I asked her with a frown upon my forehead.
"Oh didn't you hear? Pat and I got back together a few weeks ago. Isn't that great?" she said as she rubbed it in.
I flipped my head back to Pat and looked at him disappointedly. On the brink to my heart being crushed.
I had never looked at him the way I just had. It was a look of bitter devastation.
"So that's why you haven't been talking to me" I said sternly and walked away from them, down the driveway.
"Georgia wait! It's not like that" he yelled as he caught up.
"Really?! Then what's it like!" I yelled at him as I turned around to face his apologetic face.
I felt crushed already knowing the reality of the situation. I could play the situation out in my head, and it always seemed to end with me in tears.
All I could think was how the hell, he put me in this position, again.
Where I was second best, again.
Where I felt so small and beaten down, again.
Because he didn't love me.
This was the feeling I never wanted to feel again. Looked down on like I was unworthy of him.
Like I was just there for him when he needed me. Not when I needed him.
"I know I should have told you but-" he tried to say to me but I stopped him.
I couldn't handle listening to the bullshit excuses he would come up with.
"But what? You couldn't find the words to tell me that you got back with the girl that cheated on you with my boyfriend?" I yelled at him.
"I never meant for this to hurt you" he told me.
"We went through that together and I needed you. I needed my best friend. And you weren't there" I said quieter.
I wasn't able to control my tears as they flooded down my cheeks.
This time I was the one with the disgusted look on my face. At what he had done.
At how he had managed to go behind my back and do the one thing he had begged me not to do.
"Georgia please, I'm sorry" he said trying to decrease the gap between us.
"No you're not. If you even felt the slightest bit guilty you wouldn't have done it. But clearly you chose what was best for you, again" I said frustratedly.
Time after time, he was repeating the same actions. Putting his wants before mine. And every time it didn't get any easier.
"Hey I've always done my best to give you both what you deserve but it's exhausting! I never wanted to choose between you" He yelled back.
"Well it's too late Pat, because you already chose her" I said letting the emotion continue to pour out of me.
This time choking on my own tears.
I could feel myself about to break down. Like really break down. With tears streaming down my face while I'm gasping for air to keep my lungs in chess.
"George" He said stepping closer once more.
"Don't......just leave me alone" I told him shaking my head.
I turned around and ran to my car, got in and drove away.
The tears flooded down my face as I drove away.
My breath hobbled and hitched as it usually did when I cried. This was unimaginable pain.
Indescribable.
I was vulnerable and he knew that. He used it and broke me further down than I was only a month ago.
When I reached home, I slammed the car door and ran up to the house. I ran inside, I shut the front door and slid down putting my hands over my face.
The tears and emotions became louder. I think that is what got someone's attention because I felt arms wrap around me as I sat on the ground.
I looked up from my crouched position to see Tash and Grace with worried expressions on their faces.
"Honey what's wrong?" Grace asked.
"I-I-I" I tried to start but couldn't get the words out.
The tears were taking over my words.
"I went to talk to Pat" I told them.
"You did? And what did he say?" Tash asked.
"He said he was sorry and that he wanted to give me space" I told them.
They knew something was more serious that what I had told them. I was just trying to catch my breath before having to tell them.
Because saying those words aloud would make it all more real.
"Georgia...what happened" Tash asked cautiously.
"He got back together with Lily" I said.
They looked at each other and then back at me. The shock on their faces was obvious.
"Noooooo" Grace said angrily.
"He did not do that to you" Tash said.
"I'm so sorry Georgia, but if he doesn't understand how that could upset you, he doesn't deserve your friendship" Grace told me.
I thought about the reason I was once again upset. I wondered if I had a right to be upset.
In my eyes, he couldn't have done anything more to break me. He had already broken it as much as it could be broken.
He supported me when we went through something tough, lead me on and then abandoned me.
He didn't talk to me for weeks while he was getting back together with the girl who cheated on him.
That was something that he told me not to do, right after I kicked Darcy out. He told me to be strong and not give into him.
That was bullshit, because he just went and did the same thing.
The worst feeling is not being lonely. It's when someone makes you feel special for so long. Then leaves you and you have to pretend like you don't mind at all.
I had partially created my own heartbreak through expectations. Because I never thought someone I remained so close with would make me feel so much pain.
That's what he had done to me, and he knew it.
...........
A/N
Broke my heart writing and editing this chapter 💔
The bad luck just keeps on coming for Georgia at the moment! Can you believe Pat and Lily got back together behind her back!
She really can't catch a break! Do you think they will ever be able to mend their friendship? Let's hope so!
Stay tuned for the next few chapters because the drama isn't settling down any time soon!
Please remember to vote and comment if you did enjoy this heated chapter!
Thank you all and stay safe!