Hi guys hope your liking the story so far, let me know what you think please and please vote for me well here goes the next chapter hope you like it!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Francis and Hugh didn't leave my side until the nurse kicked them out, Hugh wanted me to stay with him until my head was better but I refused, I wanted my own space, he wasn't happy but I didn't care and he didn't argue!
Hugh was even less impressed when I agreed to Francis staying with me so I wasn't alone in my apartment, not that he shared it with us but I could see the fury in his eyes when we decided it, what he needs to realise is that I need a friend right now not a lover, I sort of wanted an outside opinion on us!
Through the night was bad I had two nightmares, first wasn't too bad I woke up in a sweat but second time round I woke to 3 nurses holding me trying to calm me down.
"Your ok Alex calm down your in hospital, who hurt you Alex was it your partner?"
"No no, it wasn't Hugh he would never hurt me!"
"Well who?"
"It was a long time ago,please I don't want to talk about it!"
"Ok that's fine."
They left the room and I was glad but I had a feeling it wasn't over! me and my stupid nightmares!
Why are they happening all the time now? it's like something has triggered them and now I can't turn them off!
I couldn't really sleep much after that I drifted in and out but I think all in all I got around an hour. A different doctor can in, he was African American I think with a big bright smile.
"Hi there Alex, my name is Dr Remi, I specialise in the parasomnia family which in lame terms means people who walk and talk in there sleep."
"So the nurses have contacted you"
God how interfering can people get you tell them you don't want to talk so they bring in someone else!
"Yes they did and it's ok we will story this and hopefully see a lot less!"
"So what so you suggest?"
"Well first we need to know the root of the problem!"
"Well I already know the cause!"
"Ok, do you mind explaining"
I didn't really want to but I knew they weren't going away so I had no choice!
"Well my ex boyfriend wasn't very nice to me, he hurt me mentally and physically!"
It seemed like it was getting easier to share it with people well people I knew wouldn't share it with any one else!
"Did you ever seek medical help?"
"No but sometimes I wanted to but he wouldn't let me!"
"Ok that's fine, do you mind if I get a nurse and examine you, just to make sure everything is ok?"
"Erm I don't want it on record though, my family are very protective and they didn't even know I had a boyfriend!"
"It's ok Alex it will only state the basics on record!"
"Ok but I don't understand how my ex can cause me to talk and walk on my sleep!"
"Well sometimes sleepwalking is genetic or caused by minor things like sleep deprivation or chaotic sleep schedules but other times post traumatic stress or panic attack can cause them, Alex I know you have panic attacks caused by traumatic stress from your past. I also think because you are in a new relationship which I am guessing this is the first one since your ex, if I'm right I think you have triggered this stress, what I need to know is if he has done any lasting damage!"
I was shocked I had never thought about how my feelings for Hugh were triggering me to have my nightmares more frequent I needed to deal with this issue before it was too late, I needed to tell him and that is something I was going to regret, but how could I not, Knowing now that our relationship was causing this to happen!
"What do you mean, like hurt me enough to stop me having kids?"
"Well yes it is possible but also if there is scarring I would like to know if it has healed well"
"Will it hurt me?" I felt myself tense.
"It will be uncomfortable but shouldn't be painful!"
"Ok let's just get this over and done with!"
He examined me and it was uncomfortable and it hurt a little but I wanted to know, I needed to know if I could still have children!
When the doctor came back he smiled but I couldn't tell if he had bad news or not!
"Hello Alex I hope I didn't hurt you?"
"No I was ok."
"Ok that's good, well you have a lot of scarring in both entrances especially in your rectum!"
"So what does that mean?"
"Well you are ok, no problems on having children but I would suggest if you ever decide on anal sex to use lots of lubrication and even then there is no guarantee that it won't be painful! do you have any questions?"
"No not really!"
"Ok well I will prescribe you some pills. To help manage your anxiety when sleeping and I would suggest talking to a therapist about your issue"
"I've got a therapist and I'm not sure about taken pills!"
"There ok Alex, you will take 1 before bed which will hopefully relax you so you don't sleep walk!"
"Ok I'll try!"
Hugh came through the door, looking ravishing as ever while me on the other hand looked a mess, he took a sit beside me.
"Well Alex I will sort out your tablets and you may go home at lunch time."
"Thank you so much doctor for everything."
The doctor nodded as he left the room, I could see Hugh was dying to ask me something!
"What is it?"
"Nothing Alex, how are you?"
" There just painkillers and something to relax me when I'm sleeping!"
"I didn't say anything!"
"You didn't have to!"
"How are you? why don't you just stay at mine?"
"No I already said anyway why are you here and not at work?"
"Because you are here, and I told you I'm not leaving your side."
"Are you always like this with women?"
"Nope just you angel, so did you sleep?"
I felt warm inside, cared for by someone I thought I loved then he mentioned sleep and I knew I had to tell him now incase he couldn't cope with my shitty past he was an important person in the media's eye and this could get out there!
"Not really, look I need to tell you something and if you go I understand!"
"You don't have to Alex!"
"But I do Hugh, this is the hardest thing I hope I ever have to do but what happens when Francis isn't around, I need you and I know this is silly but I'm falling for you, that's why it has to be now before it's too late!"
"Ok if your sure?" he pulled his chair closer and grubbed my hand.
"Well my ex boyfriend the only one I have ever had apart from you was evil to say the least! he was charming at first, swept me off my feet, then everything changed and he started to call me names and hurt me!"
"What do you mean hurt you?"
"Well he hit me most of the time, look I don't want to go right into it but the reason telling you this is I have triggers, certain things that cause my panic attacks!"
"When I touched your anus?"
I nodded and felt tears pooling,
"Hugh I have scars down below, inside and out and the doctor examined me and said it could be painful if we do anal so I would rather not!"
He didn't speak he just nodded but he kept hold of my hand which I was glad of.
"Look I have to go soon but Francis is coming for you I think if not ring me and I'll take you home ok!"
I nodded and he left, he was calm and collected but he didn't kiss me goodbye so I knew he was different, if this is the end then at least I managed to at least explain myself, I could feel myself starting to understand how I felt about myself and I knew in time I would be rid of that monster in my head!