Joe picks me up and we drive the the wedding venue in silence. The sky is darkening, letting us know the storm is approaching. Hopefully we can get in and out of here before it begins.
We turn down a dead end dirt road with trees on both sides. We drive about a mile down to a lone barn. It doesn't look like much on the outside but I can only imagine how it looks on the inside. Behind it is a large field that looks like it goes on forever.
"This place is really nice." I say as we get out of the car.
Joe runs a hand through his curly hair and I wish he wouldn't do that. "Yeah it is." He responds.
I follow him to the side door. He pulls a key out of his pocket and unlocks it, opening the door to a dimly lit barn. There are tables set up on one side where the reception will be, a dance floor towards the back and then where the actual wedding will be held. It's a very large barn.
"Wow." I say, walking over to where the seats are set up for the guests to watch the ceremony.
"Yeah." Joe says, though his tone is off.
"I always used to think it would be nice to get married in a rustic barn like this." I admit. I remember I wrote all about my dream wedding in one of my diaries as a kid. Of course I would write that Joe was the one I wanted to marry.
"Really?" He asks, taking a seat on one of the chairs. I shrug, wishing I never brought it up.
"You've never really talked about that stuff with me." He says, looking at me with kind eyes. I look away, biting my lip. We came here for a reason, and that's what I need to focus on.
"What were the decorations we are supposed to go over?" I ask, changing the subject.
He sighs but stands up, walking over to the reception area. The tables are lined with white table cloths and each table has a centerpiece with white daisies.
"Jenny said something about wondering if these all went together and if daisies were the right choice. And then if it's too simple."
I look around and shrug, "it looks good to me." I say.
"You know Jenny, everything has to be perfect."
"Right." I say, running my fingertips along a table.
It starts to downpour, the noise loud on the roof. A loud crash of thunder echoes through the walls and I jump.
"Wow that came on quick." Joe says, looking through the window on the door.
"Should we go?" I ask.
"We probably should wait it out." He says, "it will only get worse."
Another crash of thunder sounds right after a flash of lightening. I walk over and take a seat at a table, trying to ignore my anxiety that is building. I don't like thunderstorms and I don't want to be stuck here with him for this long.
He takes a seat beside me, "Are you okay?" He asks.
"Why wouldn't I be?" I ask.
"You always hated storms." He says lowly, looking down at his hands that are set in front of him on the table. I find it sweet how much he remembers about me.
"I'll be okay." I say, as another crash of thunder shakes the barn.
"Hopefully It will be over soon."
"Yeah, hopefully." I say, almost too quickly. He sighs and I know where this is going.
"You can't stand being around me, can you?" He asks.
I shake my head, "it's not that Joe." I say.
"Then what is it?" He asks, "you haven't been acting the same around me, even since before what happened."
"I really don't want to talk about this. We should go." I say, standing up and heading for the door.
"But the storm..." Joe says, following me. I open the door and step outside, getting hit immediately by the rain but I don't care. I walk towards the car and get in. Joe gets in a moment after, his soaked curls stuck to his forehead. "Come on Trin." He says.
"Please." I say, looking out the window.
He sighs loudly out of frustration but starts the car, putting the wipers on full blast before backing up and turning around. We don't make it far though; a huge tree fell across the road, blocking our way.
"There's no way around, we have to go back." Joe yells over the thunder. I nod and before I know it we are back inside.
I shiver due to my damp clothes and hug my arms to myself.
"What was that about?" He asks, clearly frustrated with me, "since when do you not talk to me?"
"You are never going to let this go, are you?" I ask.
He stares at me, "No." he says firmly.
"I can't do this anymore Joe."
"Do what?" He asks.
"Pretend like I don't feel anything." I say, rubbing a hand through my tangled hair. This is it. I have to tell him how I feel. I don't care what will happen. I don't care if he will never talk to me again after. Just to relief of finally getting the truth out there has to be enough. I cannot live this lie anymore.
His eyes soften, "I don't understand Trin."
"I can't be in your wedding! I can't be around you anymore. It literally kills me to be in your presence like this." I say, biting my lip so I don't cry.
His face falls, "What?"
I take a deep shaky breath, "I lied when I said I don't have feelings for you. I have every feeling for you Joe. Since the first day I met you all those years ago." I say, and I feel a huge weight lift off of my shoulders right away.
"But you said... you said you didn't feel that way. I asked you if you really thought I should marry her! I even remember in high school I confronted you when your friend told me you liked me and you said no! Why would you do that?" He says, his eyes wild. I didn't expect that response.
"Because I was scared!" I shout, another crash of thunder sounds, "I didn't want to loose you! I wanted you in my life, even if that meant as a friend."
"And you didn't even care to think I might have felt the same?" His voice calming.
I shake my head, "I was just so sure you didn't."
"I didn't think you felt that way, so I swore to myself I'd push that thought out of my head."
"So you are saying you felt the same way?" I say, tears forming. Was I really that much of an idiot!
He nods and I look down, wiping a tear from my cheek, "i was stupid. But it doesn't matter anymore. I accepted that you are with Jenny and that I can't ever be with you, but I honestly can't be around for it. It hurts too much."
"Trin, all I've been thinking about since I proposed was that I made the wrong decision."
I look up at him, his eyes as sad as mine, "what?" I ask.
"Every time something good happens, the first person I want to tell is you. The only person I want to go to the movies with when one of the Marvel movies comes out, is you. The more apart we have drifted lately, the more I have missed you and constantly thought about you. I thought I shut my feelings off for you those years ago, but they were just paused. And something hit play again, and I don't want to pause it ever again."
I start to wonder if maybe I slipped and fell outside and got knocked out and this is just some dream. There is no way Joe is standing in front of me, his brown eyes locking with my blues so fiercely I can't look away, telling me he has feelings for me.
My breathing quickens and I feel lightheaded. I lean a hand against the wall and steady my breathing.
"Are you okay?" Joe asks, grabbing my arm and holding it. His touch sends that familiar warm feeling through me, something I can't and will never feel from someone else's touch. I look at him and all I want to do is kiss him. But not now. It's the wrong time.
"I just can't believe what you just said." I say honestly, "I never thought I'd hear you say that."
He takes his other hand and wipes a stray tear from my cheek, "I'm so glad it's out in the open."
"What about Jenny?" I ask.
"She deserves better. Better than what I can give her. I have to end things with her."
"Are you sure? That's a big decision."
"I'm positive." He says.
Suddenly, his phone rings. He looks at the screen, "it's Nick." I nod and he answers.
They talk for a few minutes before hanging up. "Nick came looking for us and saw the tree. It's being picked up now so we should be able to leave soon."
"Right... Nick. I should talk to him." I say.
"He knows about my feelings for you. So it won't be too surprising."
Did he... did he just say Nick knows how he feels about me?
Authors note; ooooh what do you think that means???? I loved writing this chapter!!!!! Let me know what you guys think and please keep voting and commenting!