"Are you okay?" The paramedic rushes out as I'm lifted into the back of an ambulance.
~~~~
"Are you okay?" The detective questions me as I'm clenching the armrests and taking in the bland clouds around me.
~~~~
"Are you okay?" My Mother demands to know while crying and hugging me tightly to her thin body.
~~~~
"Are you okay?" My Uncle implores softly, masking his pain while I begin crying.
~~~~
"Are you okay?" The judge whispers as the room begins to swell with mumbling while I remain stiff in the firm seat, facing the room.
~~~~
"Are you okay?" Oliver weakly manages to ask while attempting to sit up, brushing aside all the tubes connected to him.
~~~~
"Are you okay?" My counsellor interrogates with her sickeningly sweet grin.
The bright wallpaper hurting my eyes.
~~~~
"I'm fine." I mumble.
That's all I can say.
It hurts to even say that.
But I deserve this pain, I deserve to suffer for what I have done.
I abandoned her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three Months Later.
"You don't have to do this."
I sigh heavily through my nose and turning away I force my expression to soften before turning back to face my Mother who is leaning against the doorway with a deep frown.
She has aged a lot since the ordeal, her skin is barely stretching over her bones and her limbs which were once graceful are now awkward and gangly as she pulls her oxygen tank trolley up beside her with a groan.
Her blonde hair which still holds its shine has thinned significantly.
This morning during our bonding time as per my counselling agreement I styled her hair which now has slight volume but it is still severely lacking.
She is wearing a dull yellow dress which is only appropriate for the autumn weather because of the white cardigan that is hanging off her shoulders.
It compliments her pale complexion well and I vaguely recall complimenting her on it earlier this morning.
"She won't be alone Ma'am."
Oliver promises by my elbow and I inch a little further to the right, ensuring that not a single part of my body is touching him.
Oliver is being supported by a thick walking stick and underneath his baggy police jumper I know his thick bandages are still suffocating him as he struggles to turn his torso to give my Mother a calming smile.
Rosik managed to shoot Oliver twice, one bullet went straight through the corner of his torso, hitting nothing of importance and was clean.
The other bullet however was able to pierce his ribs, breaking two and was lodged inside him to later be surgically removed.
At first I'm not ashamed to say that I felt no guilt over his injuries.
At first I was even tempted to believe that he deserved what he got for not keeping his deal.
It took me a month to visit him in hospital and to this day I still have yet to thank him for saving me.
I can't bring myself to utter the words, they weren't meant to be said by me.
My cousin should have had that chance.
Now I've reached a stage of indifference as I remain stoic and capturing my Mothers exhausted gaze I pull a smile up and force it to lift my expression.
"I'll be in and out." I promise and before she can say anything further I spin on my heel and quickly begin walking towards the police car, my face dropping the instant I turn.
As I approach the vehicle the tinted windows allow me to view my apparel and I barely allow myself a glance before I drag my gaze to my flats.
I don't want to see my body healing when Dana's might not be.
My figure it back to the way it was, my curves are pronounced however I've stopped wearing tight clothing.
I don't want people to see what I have to offer, I don't want anyone to see me.
Today I'm wearing black jeans, an army green long sleeve and a black vest zipped up high to hide the majority of my form.
I can already tell that I'm going to become majorly overheated in this but I couldn't care less, again I deserve every slight discomfort, it's nothing compared to what Dana could be feeling.
My curls are hazardously piled in a bun on top of my head and I haven't bothered with any makeup, however being overheated has its advantages and my complexion is rosy.
I hear Oliver call out his goodbye's and attempt to follow behind me but I reach the doors quicker and raise my left hand to pull the car handle open.
However my wrist spasms like usual and grows limp for a few seconds, earning a growl from me.
The damage to my wrist from Rosik has had the long-term effect of nerve damage due to it not getting put back in place quick enough.
It doesn't matter how often I visit physiology, my wrist just doesn't seem to be healing nor getting stronger.
So with another sigh I swap hands and manage to open the door before sliding in.
"You don't have to be alone with him at any stage." Oliver promises at some point during our silent ride but I keep my lips sealed and continue watching the scenery pass by in a blur.
Oliver must think that I'm nervous but it's the opposite, seeing him chained up will actually give me more confidence, I'll get a real kick out of it.
"Katie maybe it's best that we clear the air between us before we tackle the next obstacle." Oliver whispers after he realises that I'm not going to answer his last statement.
"It's Katherine." I grit out, an edge of ice to my words and I swallow loudly, fist my hands tightly momentarily before exhaling and releasing the tension in my body.
I don't need another person snitching on me to my counsellor about my erratic emotions.
"Right, sorry... Katherine I don't know what else you want from me? I've already apologised and you have no idea how many times that night has ran through my mind."
Oliver begins to explain but one frosty glance from me shuts him up instantly.
"What's done is done. I'm focusing on fixing your mistake." I murmur and cross my arms across my stomach tightly, forcing the swelling of emotions inside me to calm.
"Saving you wasn't a mistake Katherine.." Oliver whispers and it's impossible for me to not pick up on the emotion clogging his speech.
The car is plunged in silence once more, however this time instead of using it to soothe me I find it pricking at my nerves so I ensure that my words are the last ones heard.
"It was a mistake to trust you and I paid the price. It won't happen again." My words come out as sharp as I intended and Oliver clenches his hands around the steering wheel.
His white knuckles attempting to make me feel guilty but I'm quick to look back out the window.
I have enough emotions swirling in me right now, guilt cannot be added.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Name?"
"Katherine East." I reply blandly to the gruff looking man in a crisp uniform behind a glass window.
The man has a rather unflattering blonde moustache that is slightly longer on the left side than the right and my nose twitches in discomfort.
The man occupies himself by roughly jabbing the hidden keyboard and I glance back to find Oliver hovering just over my shoulder.
I take a step forward, my front now pressed against the counter, Oliver notices but doesn't move and it irks me that I'm forced to remain in this uncomfortable position.
"East?.. Are you here to see your relative?" The Officer questions and I pale instantly.
I've been so caught up in this horrific drama that I'd completely forgotten that my Father even existed.
I haven't seen him since I was still his naive little victim, I wonder what he'd think if he could see me now?
Would he still see the same girl?
"No. We're here to see the prisoner Axel Renald, we've been granted access to aid our investigation." Oliver cuts in and I'm frustratingly grateful seeing as my throat has managed to clog up and has left me slightly breathless.
Oliver reaches over my shoulder, I'm so focused on my breathing that I can barely manage to flinch as his fabric brushes mine as he hands over his badge.
The Officer squints to read the small print on the badge but once the blurry letters jumble into a cohesive title the man whistles and widens his eyes.
"We don't get big deals like you coming through often." He gushes and I half expect to feel Oliver's chest swell with arrogance against me but he remains serious.
"Mr Renald is expecting us."
Oliver prompts and the Officer drops his smirk which was steadily rising and nods robotically.
"Of course! Step right through and we'll do a quick security scan and get you in. We won't waste any of your time."
The Officer promises and he heaves himself out of his chair behind the glass and rushes to unlock his booth to search us personally.
As we are led through the gates I allow my eyes to lazily take in the various officers standing to attention around the room, but after a quick wave from our current Officer the others disappointingly sit back down and return to their conversations.
The Officer begins with my security scan first.
I remain tight lipped and blank faced as he swipes the metal detector manually all around my body.
I have no choice but to remove my earrings and then my belt which is hidden below my jumper but besides that I come up clean.
Oliver is next however before the detector is even place against his body Oliver is already emptying his pockets of weapons.
Lifting his shirt and grimacing I catch a glance at his clean bandages peeking through his gun harness but he is quick to retrieve his gun and drop his jumper back down.
Next Oliver leans down while biting his lip and lifting his right shoe he pulls out a small knife and drops that also onto the table next to him.
Finally he digs around in his jean pockets for a few seconds and pulls out another knife in a sheath and a few loose bullets.
"I hope I'm not the only one who got forced into counselling." I mutter as both the Officer and I take in Oliver's weaponry in shock.
"I get paid to be paranoid." Is all he responds before the Officer begins scanning Oliver as well.
Content with the both of us we are then whisked through the bland, brick building with polished floors, the further we travel down the hall means the more bars that appear.
They begin slowly at first, on the occasional window to start with and then once we reach the end of the hall the entire entrance is blocked by thick, dull orange bars that look immensely outdated.
Once we slip through the bars that are wrenched open by another officer we are steered into the first door to our left.
Entering silently with only Oliver's walking stick making noises we take in the small room.
There is a thick glass stretching from one wall to the opposite in the closet sized room and peering through the pristine glass I can see that the opposite end matches our end perfectly.
There is one chair with a short desk connected to the glass and on a cream pillar next to the glass I spy a weathered phone.
I feel my hands begin to sweat as the situation hits me but knowing that if Oliver picks up on my unease he'll drag me straight back home I keep my expression neutral and don't hesitate to move forward and sit in the seat.
"I'll bring in another chair for you Sir." The Officer promises and spins around to scurry out of the cramped room but Oliver holds his hand out.
"Is there any chance that you can get another phone as well? I'd like to be able to hear what is said."
Oliver questions and the Officer shakes his head, mumbling an apology before setting off to find a chair.
Sighing loudly Oliver leans against the back wall and we lock eyes in slight apprehension.
We both have matching bags under our eyes but that's where the similarities end.
Oliver still sends out the 'Prince-Like' vibes with his blue eyes and blonde hair but looking deeper you can't help but recognise the weathered man inside.
His hair is scraped back in a low ponytail however a few strands still hover and tickle his face.
My fingers twitch and I curse myself for always having an urge to swipe them away, I don't want to be near him I remind myself firmly.
He is a terrible person.
"Are you okay?" He murmurs and I swallow thickly.
Loathing that question with every fibre of my body.
"I'm fine." I grit out, a touch more aggressively than I intended and Oliver tilts his head attempting to read me better, I'm quick to turn away.
I continue to stare at him through the reflection of the glass and watch as his shoulders slump and his eyes drop to the concrete floor.
I'm surprised that he specialises in undercover work, his features to me aren't blending at all.
His whole appearance is sharp and piercing, when he enters a room people know it.
He may be able to change his persona but he remains memorable, much to my disdain.
I made a promise going here today that this would be the last time that I worked with Oliver, after this I'm done and moving on with my life.
But all this reunion manages to do is convince me that his eyes and unmanageable hair will remain stuck to me like gum on a boot.
The Officer returns with a flimsy stool and after murmuring another apology he sets it down by the door with a loud scraping noise, causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand.
Oliver is quick to sit down and I notice the strain in his body relax as he settles into the chair.
He is still recovering.
Claiming that Axel is being prepped now the Officer gives us both warm smiles before backing out and shutting the door with a soft click.
Thankfully I hear no lock but I'm still struck with a feeling of claustrophobia as our solitary lightbulb begins to flicker.
We thankfully aren't left in awkward silence for long before the door across the glass swings open and the familiar monster is shoved inside with a guard behind and another in front clenching tightly onto Axel's chained hands.
The guards seem to be excessively aggressive with their harsh pulls and prominent scowls etching into their features.
Axel to my disappointment is laughing gaily as they try to tug him forcefully while he walks slowly and without a care in the world.
My eyes are desperately drinking in his features, he doesn't seem to be in too bad of a shape and it only feeds the black hole inside of me.
He should be suffering.
The orange suit is hanging off his form and I'm surprised to see that he's lost quite amount of weight since I last saw him at the court hearing.
He was much angrier then at being captured but now he seems to be living his best life.
As he shuffles closer I notice bruises littered around his pale arms and my shoulders sag in relief knowing that he is struggling at least a little.
I drag my eyes up his body and it isn't until he sits down that I finally raise my eyes to his and find them pinning me with dark glee.
We continue staring at each other, neither of us making a move to pick up the phone and I drag my hands into my lap so that he can't see them shaking.
Even behind the glass I can sense his smug attitude and it absolutely infuriates me but I convince myself that it's an act and attempt to keep my face bare of emotion.
"Are you ready to start talking?"
Oliver questions behind me and I tilt my head slightly, acknowledging his words while Axel notices Oliver as well with my slight movement.
Now a welcome spark of anger appears in his eyes as the recognition strikes Axel and I close my eyes for a moment, revelling in his negative emotions.
When I open them again I find Axel has his phone pressed against his ear and is impatiently urging me to pick up mine with his other hand.
I take my time picking up the phone, raising my eyebrow and drawing out a few precious seconds and reminding him that he is powerless before pulling the phone off the receiver.
"Having fun?" I dryly ask before the phone is even at my ear and I hear an echo of Axel's chuckle which affects me alarmingly powerfully as a shiver wracks down my spine.
"Boat loads of fun." He replies but I don't pick up on any honesty as he starts swirling the phone cord around his fingers.
"Why have you refused to talk to the cops? It's only keeping you here for longer. Why are you protecting him?"
I cut straight to the point demanding answers.
I wouldn't be here if Axel had have just spoken to the authorities.
I can't manage to speak the other monsters name just yet, saying it out loud sets back my 'therapy' by weeks.
"I'm not protecting anyone, simply keeping myself entertained. I'm in here for life undoubtedly so why not have a bit of fun?" His words are bitter but his smirk remains screwed in place and I wish for nothing more than to wipe it off.
"You deserve to rot for what you've done." I spit, my cheeks flushing and I hear Oliver attempt to stand out of his stool.
Without looking back I hold up my hand, signalling him to halt while gripping the phone tightly.
"I have barely done anything compared to others in the industry." Axel defends and I scoff into the phone.
"You're a kidnapper, trafficker and murderer." I clench out between my teeth and Axel has the audacity to laugh.
"You're a murderer as well Hun. How did it feel stabbing that guy? The scissors were a nice touch."
Axel responds and I almost drop the phone as my body grows rigid.
The man's expression flashes before my eyes and I erratically blink away the memory.
"I-It was self defence." I mutter lowly, I'm sure Oliver wouldn't even be able to hear me but now it's Axel's turn to scoff.
"So was my murder. My wife was insane." Axel responds blandly and I sigh loudly into the phone.
I'm not here to argue, I'm here for answers.
I feel a hand rest heavily on my shoulder and following Axel's dark gaze I look up at Oliver who squeezes my shoulder in reassurance.
"Remember why we're here Katherine. We just need details." He reminds and I begrudgingly nod, I'm letting Axel have far too much control over me. Forcing myself to sit up straighter I lift up my chin and use the glint in my eyes to capture Axel's attention once more.
"What happened after you and Rosik left the building? Why were you left behind?" I question and using my spare hand I tuck a few stray curls behind my ears, attempting to appear professional.
"I got shot by one of the cops before the door shut." Axel leans forward until his face is centimetres from the glass and to my disgust he breathes heavily onto it, creating a rancid fog before drawing various shapes over the misty covering.
"I know that. I was at your court reading. What happened to Dana?!"
I finally manage to choke out and at the mention of my cousins name Axel glances up at me and gauges my reaction which I set to downright frosty.
"Rosik took her from me." Axel drawls out and unconsciously I lean forward now as well, the phone is leaving an indentation in the side of my head but I don't remove my strong grip.
"And he didn't try to help you?"
I prompt, earning a chuckle from Axel.
"Why would he? We were no longer partners, I ensured that once we got the money." Axel provides and I swallow thickly, my eyes wide as I wait for Axel to continue.
Now it's Axel's time to revel in the power and he takes his sweet time replying.
My knee starts to bob, I'm sure my whole body would start to shake if it wasn't for Oliver's hand weighing me down.
"Rosik took your cousin, took advantage of my injury and grabbed the cheque's right out of my pocket." Axel continues and leaning over I notice that his hand that isn't doodling on the glass is in a tight fist.
"He then jumped in a blue van with three other men and they tore off."
Axel finishes.
"Did you get the plates?" I hurriedly question and Axel rolls his eyes at my eagerness.
"It was in fucking Russian how was I supposed to read it?" I dismiss Axel momentarily and removing the phone from my ear I turn to Oliver who is staring at both of us tensely.
"Dana was put in a blue van, Ro-He took the cheque's. You could check surveillance at the surrounding banks and see if you can spot him? That had to have been a lot of money."
I quickly instruct and Oliver nods quickly.
"Do you want me to wait for you or will you be okay if I step out and make some calls?" Oliver questions but I shake my head.
"No, we're done here. We can leave."
I reply and Oliver nods before limping his way to the door.
In his urge to reach me I notice that he left his walking stick by the door.
I turn back to hang up the phone but sudden yelling through the speakers catches my attention and I roll my eyes.
"I have places to be Axel." I growl out as I return the phone unwillingly to my ear and lazily take in Axel's desperate features.
"I have something else to tell you! Another detail that I refused to say to anyone but you." Axel all but shrieks and I sigh before nodding my head for him to continue.
Exhaustion is hitting me hard and now all I'm thinking of is a killer nap.
I sleep a lot nowadays.
"I couldn't just let Rosik get away with all the shit he put me through.. I-I had to get him back."
Axel hurriedly explains and I feel a weight weigh me down again but this time Oliver's hand is no where in sight.
"What did you do?" I breathlessly question and Axel stares unblinkingly into my eyes, taking in every detail.
"I pulled out my gun and managed to take a shot before the door opened and the cops found me." Axel admits and I feel my blood run cold.
"I wanted him to suffer just like I knew I would in here. I was sick of him being an entitled brat who always got what he wanted. So I made sure he lost."
Axel explains and I feel my heart both soar and plummet at the same time.
"Where did you hit him?" I eagerly ask.
Part of me hopes he died somewhere but a larger, darker part of me hopes he's still alive.
He by no means is safe for Dana but I do know him the best and I know that he won't kill her.
If she's not with Rosik then I truly have no chance of finding her.
"I wasn't aiming for him." Axels words circle in my mind, they don't make sense to me until maybe the sixth or seventh lap around my mind but when they do all I see is red.
"YOU SHOT DANA?!"
I scream, standing and causing the chair behind me to fall harshly onto the concrete floor.
Without thinking I use my damaged hand to slam open-palmed onto the glass, directly over Axel's smug face and can't help but cry out from both pain and anguish.
"I did you a favour! You're not stupid Katie. If your cousin wasn't in the picture then you would have escaped within days. She held you down and now she can't be used to bait you."
Axel hurriedly explains and Oliver hobbles back over, walking stick in hand to help support my swaying body.
Oliver tries to remove the phone from my ear but I refuse to let go.
"Where?" I whisper into the phone, my tone is deathly quiet and Axel's face morphs into confusion.
"WHERE DID YOU SHOOT HER?!"
I scream again and this time Oliver tries to wrench the phone from me.
Acting on reflex I jab my elbow into his stomach, it wasn't very hard but I'd forgotten his injury and he quickly cries out, backing away.
"I shot her in the back. Rosik betrayed me, it seemed only fitting."
Axel responds and the room tilts momentarily as my mind whirls.
Lots of people can survive a bullet to the back, ensuring that it's in the very tiny unimportant area's that aren't near the spinal cord.
There is still a chance.
I force myself to take a few deep breaths and my ears pick up on Oliver gasping as well.
"Tell whoever caused you those bruises to leave scars next time."
I reply emotionless after a few minutes of silence and I let my eyes trail the bruises littering his arms.
Axel glances down and takes in the morbid artwork before chuckling once more.
"Ah yes, you certainly got your fiery spirit from your Dad." Axel responds and I clench my eyes shut, this is too much.
"He told me to tell you that he's proud of you. How sweet." Axel teases and the words send a chill down my spine.
I swore never to use violence and look at me now.
I really am living up to my Fathers expectations.
Silently I place the phone back onto the receiver.
Then keeping my eyes downcast I turn around, hoping never to see Axels face again and I force myself to pick up Oliver's walking stick which he dropped as he clutched his stomach.
"I'm sorry." I whisper and Oliver keeps his eyes locked onto mine as I carefully place his hand on top of the handle.
Just before I can pull away Oliver places his other hand on top of mine and returning his gaze curiously I find him staring at me oddly.
"No, thank you." Oliver murmurs and I nod once before clearing my throat and stepping away.
I don't turn around to see if Axel is still watching, I don't even glance behind to see if Oliver can keep up as I stroll out the door and back the way we came.
We go back through security and I vaguely hear Oliver asking the guards for my belt and earrings back but I'm already walking out the prisons entrance.
Just before I walk out of this depressing place my eyes are caught by a flashy brochure stacked by the doorway and I only hesitate for a moment before slipping a copy into my pocket.
It's not until I'm dropped off home and tucked into bed that I finally open the brochure and start reading under the dim lamp beside me.
The letters are stark and bold, their blinding under the light but I continue to stare anyway, letting them burn my eyes.
Australian Police Recruitment.
Save the lives of many.
The words fill me with hope and hope hurts but it's all I have right now.
It's all Dana has as well, she's counting on me.
I will save her.