We are the fallen angels
We scream, we shout, whoa whoa
Too lost to see the road
~ Black Veil Brides, Fallen Angels
Being in your twenties is about finding yourself and realizing that you as a teenager isn't who you are going to be for the rest of your life.
So many times, I feared that seventeen-year-old me, would be me forever and that I would never escape the control of my parents. That I would always be Avril Lexington and that I would be always known as daughter, girlfriend and sister of men in my life.
I feared that my life would be defined by the men in my life rather than my accomplishments and myself.
Scrolling through my Facebook, something I haven't done in months I notice the women I used to call friends posting about their children and their husband's accomplishments, nothing about themselves besides the selfies with inspiring captions about life.
My mother fawning over Anthony and some award he was getting for his work with charities in third world countries, publicity for Lexington Co nonetheless.
I decide to click her profile and scroll through it, hoping to see something about her unworthy children. Maybe a post about how well Marcus was doing with school and the internship he landed at the Louvre for the summer or maybe anything about the book I finally had posted.
Nothing about Marcus or I.
I shouldn't be surprised or disappointed, but that familiar feeling starts to sink in my stomach. That feeling of not being good enough, something I have been trying to suppress my whole life but never been able to overcome.
I try to push the feeling away as I go to upload the photos from our wedding a few days ago, I have finally gotten all the photos from everyone's devices and was able to pick the ones I like.
I know these photos are about to offend my family and I will be receiving an angry call from my mother within the next hour about how I disgraced the family's name, but for the first time in my life, I don't care.
It doesn't take long for the comments to come in from aunts and uncles congratulating me or asking what happened to William, some even voicing their opinions about Erik.
I knew what would happen with my family. If they weren't us, they weren't good enough, something my great aunt used to tell me when she was over and asking about the girls in my classes.
I log out of Facebook, not caring about what my family thinks, just happy to show them I am happy and hoping somehow, they will be happy for me.
I push the Macbook aside and bury my head in my hands, I can feel the headache coming on just thinking about the things my mother will tell me.
It isn't even two minutes and my cell phone beside me is ringing.
Looking at the screen I see my mother's phone number displayed across the screen.
Taking a deep breath, I hit the answer button, "Hello?"
"Avril Lynn Lexington what were you thinking? Marrying some drug addict in Vegas? How drunk were you? This is why you can't be trusted and should have never left William who I may add is taking the time to get to know this wonderfully proper girl. Someone you should take lessons from." My mother's jab stings, but I push it aside. I am tired of her calling me and talking to me like a child, I had thought she would have learned her lesson the last time she called.
"Listen here mother, Erik isn't a drug addict or any foul mouth words you want to call him because he doesn't run in the same crowd like you. He knows how to treat people no matter their dollar sign to their name, something you never seemed to figure out. As for the wedding in Vegas? That is something I wanted, something that made me happy, something that I can say I am proud of and that I truly love." I take another deep breath, trying to keep my cool. I promised myself I wouldn't let her get to me, no matter how much she came at me.
"Did you think about how this will look to the rest of our friends and family? What you have done to our family name? All the hard work your father and I did to get you into the best schools and opportunities for what? Love?" The sound in my mother's voice when she says the word love, tells me exactly what I thought all along.
My mother and father's marriage was done in the name of power and trust funds.
"Well lucky for you then that I am no longer a Lexington and have no desire to keep my ties to the family name. I no longer want anything to do with you or dad, take my name out of the wills and take any money back."
"You can't be serious Avril."
"If you can't be happy, don't contact me."
I wait for her answer but the few seconds of no talking turn into a minute and that is when I know I have my answer.
I don't even say goodbye to my mother as I end the call.
I let out a shaky breath as I feel the pressure that used to hunch my shoulders let out and with each breath, I feel myself sitting up straighter.
"Hey," I look up at Erik as he climbs onto the bus with his hair slicked back, no longer a shaggy mess like before our wedding, but styled same way as when I first met him.
"Hey, where is everyone else?" I ask looking up at him not seeing the rest of the band behind him or even Isla.
"They went to go watch some band perform that Isla wanted to see if she could score an interview with." Erik shrugs his shoulders as he leans against the half wall separating the bench I am on with the couch.
"Why didn't you go?"
"I was coming to see if you wanted to join, but by the look on your face, I am guessing you don't want to be around people. What happened?"
"I just got off the phone with my mom," Erik motions for me to move over so he can sit down beside me. I turn my body as much I can to continue talking to him, "she was complaining about you and the way we decided to get married."
"I'm sorry you had to go through that without me and that your mother can't love you for who you are."
"I told her if she can't support me and love me, not to call me and she didn't say anything. I want the rest of my life to be filled with people who love me and support me."
"I love you." Erik smiles at me.
"I love you too."
"Do you think you'll want to come to the show tonight?" Erik questions as he begins to play with the ring on my finger, the same ring he confessed all of his love with.
"Yes, it's in a few hours."
"Well if we aren't going out then we should make use of an empty bus. You never know when we will get a chance like this again."
"Knowing you, it will probably happen again tomorrow."
"Shut up you are ruining the mood," Erik mumbles against my skin as he begins to kiss my neck.
Erik and I finally make it out of the bus in time for the band's performance.
"Had fun?" Isla questions as she bumps shoulders with me as we watch from backstage.
"Long overdue," I comment as I glance at the band starting their first song, a cover of Black Veil Bride's Fallen Angels.
Lucas had told me they would be stupid not to open with that song.
"How does it feel now that you are married?"
"Better," I smirk thinking back at the things we just did only a few minutes earlier.
"I hope Kyle and I get to that point."
"You guys probably will." Isla is quiet after that and looks down at her phone every few seconds, sending quick messages.
"Who are you texting?" I question after fifteen times within the span of one song.
"Work." Isla quickly responds with and shoves her phone into her pocket.
"Why aren't they calling you then?" I question, a little suspicious of her behaviour.
"I don't know." Isla snaps at me, "can we just enjoy the show?"
"I have a special guest I want you all to meet, she's been with the band since the fall and has been a huge reason for why we are on this stage today. She's been the one behind the scenes posting those photos and contests all you have loved, but she is now stepping away from those duties at the end of Warp tour to focus on her passions." Erik looks at me and motions for me to come out on stage.
I roll my eyes at him and rather put up a big fight I step onto the stage, something I never thought I would do or want to do.
"My lovely wife Avril Hawthorne!"
Header by beforehours
Edited by GirlReader133