I think it's important to have closure in any relationship that ends - from a romantic relationship to a friendship. You should always have a sense of clarity at the end and know why it began and why it ended. You need that in your life to move cleanly into your next phase. Maybe we'll have our closure now.
During class, I kept glancing at Nick and when the bell signaled the end of the last period our gazes met once again. I quickly looked away and packed my things to leave but I knew he would come after me. I could guess it from the determination in his eyes.
As I walked out, I saw Noah standing in the corridor. He asked his teacher permission to leave a few minutes early because 'he had to go to the doctor'. What his teacher hadn't known was that Noah lied so he could be with me for the inevitable confrontation, which made joy and gratitude fill my heart.
Maybe he didn't have the courage to profess his feelings to the girl he loved, but to protect me, to protect his friends, he could face any adversity. Despite knowing this would probably not end well it felt good to know that I had at least one loyal friend.
We were walking side to side as quickly as possible to run from our destiny until we heard the same strong voice from the night before.
"We need to talk to you. Follow me," Nick ordered as he passes by us.
I shared a look with Noah and we silently agreed there's no escape and we might as well ended it.
We followed Nick to the back of the school where Micah was passing in circles and Tyler was sitting on a broken wooden bench smoking. They noticed our presence almost immediately.
Micah seemed uncomfortable and quickly averted his gaze while Tyler looked at me up to the bottom, with a smirk on his face, as if he were evaluating me. I didn't like that.
"What do you want?" I cut to the point.
None of them answered.
"You brought us all the way here just to keep your mouth shut?" I asked turning to Nick who was staring at the patch of grass he was destroying with his foot.
Once again, I was met with silence. Not surprising, considering his overall posture: hands deep in the pockets of his dark jeans as if the whole situation had nothing to do with him and the only important thing was the stupid grass.
Was this a game for them? Were they trying some sort of psychological abuse?
"You said we needed to talk and now nothing? You want to fight? Is that it? Fine by me, come on then!" I shouted, stepping closer to him.
That finally got me a reply, "I'm not fighting you." He remained impassive, not bothering to even spare me a glance.
I threw my hands in the air. "I give up! Come on Noah, the stalkers just wanted to waste our time."
I turned my back to them and make a few steps before I feel a hand on my arm pulling me. Instinctively, I grabbed the attached wrist and quickly used it to force my attacker to turn and kneel.
On his knees, he looked up at me. His eyes were showing an odd mixture of unreadable emotions, maybe a bit of surprise or confusion? No, it was definitely anger, that he quickly covered with once again an impassive expression.
Oh shit! What have I done?
"Wow man, she got you good!" Tyler's voice erupted, followed by a deep laugh. "Who'd have thought the goody-good girl knew how to fight?"
"Guess you can't judge a book by its cover." I hissed, though I mentally scolded myself for my comment. I sure didn't need to add fuel to the fire. "And by the way Micah, I was expecting more from you, you know as a friend, or should I say as a former friend. It's like I don't even know you anymore. Let's go, Noah."
I loosened my grip on Nick and let him go praying he wouldn't retaliate.
I turned around and we started walking away again, at a calm pace though I was feeling all but calm inside. We both froze when a small voice raised. A voice I hadn't heard in a long time. Destabilized, I looked back at Micah.
"Wait! I know you're just worried and knowing you I'm sure you probably already thought about the worst imaginable things, but don't. I'm fine. I can't tell you what's going on but trust me when I say that I am fine."
"Why did you just start ignoring us, so suddenly?" Noah asked what got stuck in my throat.
He looked at his feet as if he was pondering something. "I- I can't tell you that yet, but I'm working on it and as soon as I sort it out, I'll explain everything. I promise," he said, walking to us.
I looked at his earnest face for a moment, trying to find a hint that he was lying, but I could only see sincerity.
"You're choosing a bad path Micah," I warned. "Just tell us, whatever it is, we'll help you. Is it drugs? Do you owe them money? Do you need money? Please just tell us!" Micah didn't say anything.
"Just tell us one thing, are you mixed up with weird stuff?" Noah asked, glancing at Nick and Tyler. Tyler let out yet another snort at the insinuation Noah's eyes carried.
"I promise I'm not getting in trouble," Micah answered, placing a comforting hand on Noah's shoulder.
"That's not a no... I guess is that bad, huh? For you not to trust your friends?" My voice was shaking as the hurt I'd been suppressing was pushing water to my eyes.
"It's not like that, Jules. I just can't get you involved for now."
"Bullshit," I mumbled.
"So, you rather trust complete strangers, thugs, to help you instead of your friends?" My voice was shaking as the hurt I'd been suppressing was pushing water to my eyes.
"It's not like that, Jules. I just can't get you involved for now."
"Bullshit," I mumbled.
"I know how you feel, but trust me, soon everything will go back to normal and you'll understand why I couldn't tell you guys about it."
"We'll be waiting then," Noah said, placing his comforting hand on my arm. It's moments like this that made me appreciate our friendship. I swear this guy could read me like an open book.
He always knew when I was on the verge of crying but didn't want to. He probably learned it from the countless times he made me cry when we were younger.
"I know how you feel, but trust me, soon everything will go back to normal and you'll understand why I couldn't tell you guys about it." I shook my head in disbelief.
"We'll be waiting then," Noah said, placing his comforting hand on my arm. It's moments like this that made me appreciate our friendship. I swear this guy could read me like an open book. He always knew when I was on the verge of crying but didn't want to. He probably learnt it from the countless times he made me cry when we were younger.
"Thank you. I promise I'll tell you everything soon," Micah whispered to us and smiled.
A small smile, but a smile that went extinct three weeks ago and one that I missed more than I could imagine. I couldn't help but give him a quick strong hug, not caring if he was falling to the dark side and conducting illicit activities with those tugs, or that I let some tears fall. I missed him.
We left our conversation at that and an unspoken agreement to give Micah the time he needed, knowing that he would come back to us. I looked, or should I say glared, one more time at Tyler and Nick trying to pass a warning for them not to mess with our friend.
Tyler offered me a wink and arrogant smirk combo as a reply, whereas Nick simply stared back at me as if he was trying to dig a hole in my soul, but I kept my head held high.
Noah and I pressed to my car. "I can't believe we didn't die..." I admitted.
"I can't believe you didn't, after what you did to Nick! You must have death wishes..."
"I know right? When I saw him on his knees, I almost shitted myself. I don't know what got into me. Instinct?"
"Oh, nothing new then. Just the typical you," he laughed, and I lightly punch his arm.
We got home and said goodbye to each other before walking into our respective houses. I was welcomed by the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. Simply the perfect thing after the day I had.
I crept into the kitchen to try and steal one but was greeted by my mother's perceptiveness. "Don't even think about it," she said with her back turned to me. "Wait for them to cool down a bit, Julie."
"But mom your cookies are heaven on earth, it's torture to wait when they smell this good."
She turned around with a smile. "Sucking up to me won't work. Why don't you go to your room and do your homework and I'll bring you some cookies later?"
I let out a deep breath to show my frustration but did as I was told. As I turned around and dragged my feet out of the kitchen my mother called me to let me know the pharmacy ran out of stock and she couldn't get my prescription today.
"They said they'll have it in a week. Do you have enough pills until then? If you don't, I can go to the pharmacy in Sandary"
"It's fine. I have enough," I lied, wanting to save her from a long and tedious trip to the next city.
I already felt bad for making my parents feel the need to move to this town four years ago. They left their jobs, friends, and family because of me because my brain is messed up. I knew it's something I couldn't control – I tried many times –, but that didn't take away the guilt.
I thought time would make it better, but it didn't. It was so frustrating, really, but the drugs helped. Still, I didn't want to make my mother go out of her way just to get them for me. I was sure I could bear with it, it's only a week, after all, right?
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