CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
R e e s e
"De Leon?" Jordin snapped her fingers in front of my face, making me blink. I was still staring at the damn phone, though. "And she's back." Images of me and Mackenzie, doing God knows what, cascaded on my lustful brain. Like sparks fly, my face reddened at the thought. "Uy!"
"Sorry, I was just-"
"Did some girl send you nudes? 'Cause you surely look like you want to devour someone, with all those shallow breathing and lip-biting." Giving her the once-over, I shifted my eyes back to the phone's screen. "Give me that. Patingin ako."
"No!" I didn't know I was hugging the phone like a kid embracing her teddy bear, holding on for dear life, until Jordin giggled. "I mean, this is private."
"Not even a peek?"
"Nooo!"
"Okay, okay. Sorry na." The firefighter had gone back to the bed, waiting for me. "But that would be for later. I didn't drive all the way down here for a quickie. A damn good one, but it's not enough." The off-duty lady officer, tapped the bed slowly, motioning for me to come closer. "I want more, Reese. Besides, I don't think you're-"
"I think I'm good, thank you."
"Oh, my God, Reese." My eyebrows furrowed, studying her gestures. I don't like it when someone reacts like that. Feeling ko, may nagawa akong malaking kasalanan. I feel like I did something wrong, especially when they laugh loudly like what Jordin's doing now. My insecurities are annoying and scary.
"What?"
"Did you just come because of whatever it is that's on your phone?" I rolled my eyes tediously at her. "Did you?" Okay, so, how can I deny this shit?
"Stop. It's making me feel uncomfortable."
"Christ, this made my day."
"Shut up!"
"Girl, you can't even deny it." Breathe, Robin. Remember the pattern. Do it slowly. "Aww, you're so adorable," says Jordin, after hearing me hum a song quietly. We always sing or hum when we're frustrated, Robin. What's that new song again? Ah, Post Malone's Circles.
"Tama na sabi, eh. Ang kulit."
"Sige, sige. I'm sorry, baby." A familiar tone from my phone calls out to my attention. It's Mackenzie, still. Ano na naman?! Ugh.
From C/CPL Rivera:
I don't wanna smell another girl on your skin, De Leon. You better take a damn good bath. Maligo ka muna bago umuwi.
You're a genius, Ken-Ken. A warm bath makes me calm. Yes, I'll do that. "What's with the rush, Reese? You're bailing on me? I haven't got enough of you just yet, missy."
From C/CPL Rivera:
You better be prepping to leave that girl now.
Dear Lord, she's so bossy! But anyway, "I have to go," I told Jordin, making her upset and yeah, curious. "I'm sorry. I just have to. Don't ask questions. But first, I need to-"
"Shower? Again?" Jordin sniffed her shirt before putting it back on. "Do I smell bad? Hindi naman ah." I laughed at the way she kept on smelling herself. "Is this why you're leaving me? Tara, ligo tayo. Conserve tayo ng water."
"No, silly." I gave her a kiss on the cheek when she sat next to the tub. "You're okay. It's just that, I don't want Teegan and Justine to know that we had sex."
"Renesmee Robin, your friends know that we're fucking," Annoyed, Jordin says to me, handing me the shampoo. "Let me. You can't even open it. What is up with you? You're shaking." I heard a familiar tone on my phone; someone has sent me a text. "Do you want me to read it for you?"
"No, don't!"
"Hey, chill. I was just asking."
"I told you, it's private," I hissed. She's cute and all that, but I don't like being asked countless times if I already said no. Though, Mackenzie is an exception. "Can you just wash my back? Thank you."
"But it'll make me more-"
"Just do it, Jo."
"Reese, your temper. Ayos ka lang ba talaga?" I didn't respond, not even a single gesture. I continued rubbing my arm, ignoring her questions. "Ano ba'ng nangyari sayo? Hindi ka okay, eh."
"I'll tell you when I'm not, Fonseca."
"And right now, you aren't." I ignored Jordin all the way 'til I was finished with my bath. I was brushing my teeth when my frigging phone produced an alarming sound. Someone's calling. "Oh, it's Juju."
"Leave the phone alone, Jo. I mean it." After gargling, I wiped my face with a towel, Jordin had given me. Feeling a little guilty, I turned to her and said, "I know you're always gonna be there for me. Alam ko 'yon." The way she looked at me, the sincerity was there. She was my friend after all and I trust her. "Fine, I'll tell you."
"Cool."
"I'm in love."
"Oh, shit. Really?" Shaking her head, she walked out of the bathroom. "Well, well, well," I followed her behind, "...I think I'm gonna be jealous now. I need to have my A-game on." Fonseca clicks her tongue before shaking her head.
"Your A-game?"
"Yeah," Pasungit nitong sinabi. "Who's the lucky guy? Or a girl?" A lot of people know that I'm bisexual. It's funny 'cause Jordin was the one who exposed me, but she's forgiven. We were doing naughty things in her car when some guy walked up to the damn SUV, and opening the stupid door. Thank God, it was just a kiss that they saw. I'm pretty sure my hands were still under her skirt when we got caught. Salamat at naroon ang backpack ko no'n.
"Is she?"
"She," That single word reminded me of Mackenzie Montefalco. "Lucky girl, that one."
"You know I can't fall in love. It's too difficult. I don't wanna be a burden to someone." One of Jo's eyebrows rose. "Ano? Totoo naman. How long will she put up with me? I don't want to invest feelings, just to be left out when they're tired of my shit."
"Oh, hi, Robin." She didn't speak a word until I was finished changing. "You're good?" I nodded slowly. "Come on, it's not too late to have a quick visit to your counselor. Text ko ba sina Billie at Taylor? At sino pa nga ba ang mga 'yon? Pasama tayo sa mom mo? Or kay tito na lang?"
"I ran away, remember?"
"Like she doesn't know that you're staying with Justine." My phone received a new notification, an SMS Text. "May oras pa naman. I'll come with you." The fire officer gave me my phone. "Nice wallpaper you got there. Is that her?"
"Um... no, yes. It's her. Ken-Ken."
"Hot."
"Stop it. She's mine."
"Possessive." Jordin offered me a shot and I accepted. "Does this girl know about this? I mean, did you admit your feelings already?" I shook my head. "No?" I, then, nodded my head. "Yes?" Jo cupped my face, trying to figure out the truth. "Oh, you did. Bold move, De Leon." She tapped my phone and said, "Answer her. I know you want to."
"Ayoko."
"You know you want to, Reese."
"Okay."
You replied to C/CPL Rivera:
Who are you to tell me what to do? And I don't need your forgiveness, inmate. Manigas ka dyan.
C/CPL Rivera replied:
Aling nipples, darling? 'Yun lang meron ako, eh. But I have an impression na mas gusto mo yung left na dede ko. Gusto mong tinitignan 'yon, eh. Lalo na no'ng naliligo ako.
You replied to C/CPL Rivera:
Bastos. Napakabastos mong babae ka.
C/CPL Rivera replied:
Like it or not, you will kneel before me, Reese. Lagot ka sa'kin.
You replied to C/CPL Rivera:
Ilusyonada ka rin, eh, 'no? At sino'ng may sabing gumamit ka ng telepono, hah? Are you insane? Someone might see you! Ibalik mo na 'yan, ngayon din!
C/CPL Rivera replied:
Your team members handle things pretty badly without you in command. I suggest you come back. Come home to me, baby. You don't want me to go back to the box, do you?
You replied to C/CPL Rivera:
Give the damn phone back to my best friend! And tell Justine to call me.
C/CPL Rivera replied:
Come and get it. Hint: I'll be hiding it under my bra. Uy, gusto niya 'yon. Kapa-kapa. Hindi ba't trained kayo do'n? Ayi, mage-enjoy yata ako, ha.
You replied to C/CPL Rivera:
Give it back, right now! You know how dangerous this is, Mackenzie!
C/CPL Rivera replied:
I'll be keeping this until you decide to come back. Greyhound's happening tomorrow. If they see me hiding contraband, they will transfer me to another jail. Or worse, one day, this will reflect in my GCTA. Think about our future, wifey.
I threw the device on the floor, joining Jordin on the bed. "Whatever you say, inmate."
"Did you just say... inmate?" I did not speak a word. She already knows my answer to that. "Damn, girl. That's too much, even for you." Jo grabbed my hand, gripping it tightly. "You're losing your mind to an inmate? A person who's already doomed?"
"Oh, don't be like that." I didn't like what she said to Mackenzie. "People change naman."
"And what if they don't? What's her case, by the way?" I sighed deeply, rubbing my head, telling her what I found out on Montefalco's file. "And you said she wasn't doomed," I felt sad upon hearing that. "How will the relationship work out if she's locked up in a cell?"
"I can always visit."
"And how long will the spark last?"
"Distance makes the heart grow fonder and the sex hotter, darling." I tried to be funny so I can stop myself from feeling sad. Thank you for the reference, Grey's Anatomy. "Am I right?"
"Let's see how you'll pull this, De Leon. This is not smart." Yep, I know that. Yet, here I am, daydreaming about her again. This shit had gotten worse after I left. "Hay, naku..."
"It's the dumbest thing, I know, but I have my ways."
"Yes, but some things don't always work out the way we want it."
Without even thinking twice, I said, "Then, I, would willingly wait for her." I meant every word, every single one of them, disregarding my instability. Christ, I'm so whipped. Hindi pala in love, hah? Kalokohan.
"And finally have sex with her when you're old and gray?" My sad eyes must be the reason why Jordin pulled me into a hug. "But hey, you can always have sex with me in between. Payag naman ako." I pushed her away. She lifted both of her hands up, backing away from me. "You do imagine those years of longing by now, De Leon. It's not gonna be easy." Yes, I have all sorts of worst-case scenarios in my head already. No need to add this shit up.
"Like I would let her rot in jail."
"Then, date a lawyer." Jo had this crazy idea. She said to me, "Or seduce the judge. Maybe it'll help in mitigating her sentence."
"Why date a lawyer when I can be the lawyer?" I somewhat felt relieved, despite the fact that it's gonna be hard to pursue that kind of thing. I have low self-esteem, and always thinking negatively. "I'll save her."
"Baby, diploma muna. Ang advanced mo na, eh."
Right now, it seems weird 'cause I feel optimistic. Ah, Mackenzie's effect on me. She makes me feel all kinds of things; anxious, scared, excited, and loved. Weird. It's so fucking weird. "Don't you wanna see me in glasses and suits?" Yeah, Robin, but this is about to change in an hour or two, so. Let's just go with it.
"Lit, but that's another four years."
"It's better than twenty or something."
"Well, reclusion temporal is a long time, sweety. Are you sure it's not just sex?" Jordin snaked her arms around my waist, placing soft kisses on my neck. "Because I'll always be glad to give you that. Hindi kasi ako naniniwalang magwo-work yung relationship niyo ng detainee'ng 'yon."
"She triggers me, Jo."
"Oh?"
"That's my sign, remember?"
"You still believe in those things."
"Sa mythological creatures nga, naniniwala ako, 'yun pa kaya?" Nagtawanan kami. Jordin are not a fan of those things bago niya ako makilala. Sa kakakwento ko, nagustuhan na rin niya ang mga ito. "And come on! It's been years and I think I found the one for me."
"The right love at the wrong time. Not to mention, the wrong place to find love." She has a very good point. I can't deny that. "Wait, what about your dream to be a detective? Changed your mind? Mag-isip ka nga muna."
"See? I don't give a shit anymore." One scary thing about having a BPD is the decision-making. I make a lot of reckless, wrong decisions. I learned that the hard way. "Does RCrim and JD sounds good after my name?"
"OMG, that's so sexy."
"I know, right?"
"Reese, sigurado ka?"
"Tell me where I should put all this love and intelligence. Of course, I'm sure."
"Reese..."
"Please, don't confuse me."
"Okay, sorry." Jordin breathed deeply, holding my hand. "I'm just worried about you. I care for you and you know that. But if you've already made up your mind, I'll support you all the way. Nandito lang ako para sa'yo."
"Thanks."
"You know I got you."
"Okay." I nodded twice, hands clenched. I thanked my ex-girlfriend for making me feel better with another hug. She can kiss me and I surely won't mind. I'm glad she's not taking advantage of the situation. "Look, we both know it's dangerous, and can you imagine the bar exam? God, I know I want her, then and there, because of my will."
"So, what's the plan?"
"I will set her free," I spoke proudly. "Mackenzie's ticket to freedom, I'll hand it to her."
"Aabot ka ba?"
"I actually have no idea. My knowledge in Criminal Law is not that good at the moment."
"So, you thought about this just now?" I felt too shy to nod my head. I'm afraid she'll think it's a dumb idea. I feel anxious, 'cause right now, I think she does. "Parang sigurado ka na talagang makukulong siya, ha?"
"Oo nga, 'no? Pero kahit na..."
"Okay, attorney De Leon. If you say so." We were about to leave but she suddenly grabbed me by the arm, giving me a passionate kiss. I didn't let the contact last that long. "All this for a girl, huh?"
"You should meet her."
"I probably shouldn't." I stared at the floor, nodding. "But, De Leon, let's not forget that you were once like this to me. You were crazy about me."
"That was before Mackenzie."
"That's true, but," She lifted my chin up, "...Reese, I want you to think about it this way," but then, I slapped her hand away 'cause I didn't like the way she was looking at me. Those judgy eyes, I hate them. "What do you think is the difference between your love for me by that time and the fire that you have for her right now?"