CHAPTER FOURTEEN
R e e s e
I had an episode today. Justine and Teegan tried to make me say something, but before anything gets worse, they had both chosen not to bother me. I may seem okay for the last hour, but the fact that I'm still worried about Mackenzie changed my mood once again. Hindi talaga ako mapakali.
"One, two, three. Breathe."
I kept on disassociating myself, talking to "Robin," but I kept on coming back to the reality that the reason why the brown-eyed girl is stuck in that stupid box is because of me. My agony went on and on for hours.
Breathe, Robin. Sabi nga niya, 'di ba? Huminga ka lang, mahal na mahal ka na niya no'n.
Robin was actually my middle name, but everyone knows me by my first name. Or Reese, they call me Reese. Only a few, like Teegan, Justine, and my therapist knows about Robin and the reason behind my random "conversation" with her. And vice versa.
Talking to Robin, like she was somebody else and not me, is my way of coping. I talk to her like she's borderline, and Renesmee isn't. Stupid, I know, but it helps a lot. It's the same person after all. That darky's still me. I am the darkness.
After my therapy, I was okay. I seemed alright. Or at least, I tried to be so, for the sake of the people around me. I'm sick of hearing my parents, introduce me as their daughter, and then, later on, say that I can be a handful and that people should not argue with me. Or else, I will lose my shit and overreact to things. Hindi ko nga kaya'ng pigilan ag nararamdaman ko. OA na kung OA.
It is the reason why I had chosen to live with Teegan and left my family. I can't even remember the last time I spoke to any member of the De Leon clan. My father tried to talk me out of coming back home, but I declined. They're still sending me to school and buying me things, but they communicate with Justine and not me. I don't wanna be a burden anymore. The black sheep is now out of the picture. Sana masaya na sila at wala na'ko ro'n.
I'm not crazy, but special... or so my two best friends always say to me to make me feel better. Teegan and Justine were the only ones in our neighborhood that were able to put up with my tantrums; Teegan's sense of humor and Justine's patience made me feel like I was normal. Our friendship started when they kept me calm when we were about to take our neuro exam, before being officially enrolled in the program. I was freaking out and the two childhood friends noticed my nervous tick; the hair push back. Sabi ni Teegan, astig daw 'yon.
It was all going fine, until today.
"She's gonna be okay, Reese." Teegan and Jamie exchanged a worried look. Justine's arm was draped around my shoulders, her hair touching my cheek. "We can watch Mean Girls or White Chicks tonight, Cheese. I have them on my iPad." Teegan did the same on my other arm. Juju showed me a collection of RomCom on the device she was holding. "The Proposal's here and John Tucker Must Die. Nandito rin yung Why Him, De Leon. Paborito mo ang mga 'yon."
"I'm not in the mood to laugh, Justine. I'm sorry." That rub on my back is a clear sign that she understands. "I'm just gonna read a book tonight until I fall asleep. I need to... escape reality." Both of my friends sighed when they heard me say that. I, then, turned to the quiet one. "Jamie, will you help me make that sandwich for Mackenzie tomorrow? I hope you won't mind, Juju, 'cause Ken-Ken will be getting the special piece."
