The rest of the day drags on painfully slow.
Rosik wasn't kidding when he said yesterday that he would be keeping a 'closer eye' on me.
Rosik has barely left the room all day.
Hours have passed and the time has mainly been spent in silence.
Rosik attempted to ask me more questions again but I'd either ignore him or counter them with questions of my own which he wasn't willing to answer.
With there being extremely limited places to sit Rosik remained by my side and as I predicted my arm long ago had gone numb under his weight.
"I need to go to the toilet." I finally mumble, my voice cracking slightly from the lack of use and water but I'm not stupid enough to ask for any water from Rosik.
Never again.
Rosik cuts his eyes to me which previously were glued to his phone which he was reading on.
The temptation drove me insane watching him fiddle with something that could save Dana and myself in a few swipes but I managed to swallow my frustration and refused to so much as look at his phone.
Switching off his phone and pocketing it he pulls out a key from around his neck and I log that handy piece of information away as he holds it in his hand.
"No claws Kitty." Rosik warns and I give him the biggest most sarcastic grin I can manage.
I don't plan on starting any issues as long as Rosik doesn't start either.
Rosik unlocks my left hand first and I instantly pull it towards my body and start rolling it while wincing until my other wrist is freed as well.
Both wrists have an angry red indent over my veins and I hiss as I run my fingers over the angry flesh.
Rosik reaches over to grasp my hands and out of instinct I pull back and glare at him.
Rosik raises an eyebrow challenging me and knowing that it's better to comply right now I slowly hold out my hands and let Rosik assess them.
"You should have told me that they were too tight Kitty!" Rosik gushes and to my disgust he begins peppering kisses over my hands.
I clench them and look over his shoulder at the door, breathing deeply through my nose.
"You shouldn't have had me in them in the first place." I counter swiftly before lightly pulling my hands away after a few more generous seconds and I quickly pull myself into a standing position.
The throbbing in my head passed a long time ago however as I stand I get a sudden dizzy spell that almost causes me to fall back onto the bed, but Rosik was expecting this and caught my arm.
"Careful! You haven't had any food or water for nearly twenty four hours.." Rosik rushes out as my sight focuses again and I remain tight lipped as I rip my arm out of his grip.
I begin walking towards the door, taking small steps to start with but after finding that my head is remaining clear I pick up the speed and make it to the door in record time.
Rosik is right on my heels but makes no move to stop me as I open the door and make my way into the hallway.
I'm tempted to walk around the house to find Dana, I can hear the tv in the distance but besides that the house is silent.
My hesitation costs me though because Rosik grabs my upper arm and this time my pulling doesn't loosen his grip. Tugging me quickly down the hallway we walk towards the bathroom, Rosik only pauses to get a towel from the cupboard in the wall and shoves it into my arms.
"You might as well take a shower while you're in there." I nod in agreement, actually excited at something Rosik has said.
I'm still covered in dirt and branches from yesterday's escape and I have no doubt that I look horrendous.
I have no intention to look good for my captors but I'm sure that sprucing up my appearance will lift my morale some-what.
I keep my ears alert as we walk down the hall and drag my feet slightly which are annoyingly bare, causing noise in hopes that Dana can hear me and speaks with me.
We need to talk about earlier, once she see's that it was misinterpreted then we can move on and work together again. Our first escape relied heavily on luck this next escape is going to rely on nothing short than a miracle.
We need each other.
But Dana doesn't come and I reach the bathroom far too quickly.
I walk in and frown at the bland, slightly rusty setting once more and the cool tiles prickle my feet.
I believed that I'd never see this place again.
"Where are my shoes?" I ask while cringing at the thought of all the germs that are climbing up my bare feet.
I have a feeling that putting a towel on the bottom of the shower is going to be a wasted effort.
I'm already tainted.
"You don't need shoes." Rosik replies and remains at the door to my relief.
"What about when we leave? We are leaving aren't we?" I question but Rosik decides that I'm not worth the answer, so all he does is look me up and down before reaching into his pocket of his pants and maintaining eye-contact I know that it's a bad idea to look down but I do so anyway.
I nearly gag at the sight.
Clenched in his tight grip is one of the thongs from when he went shopping and my face blushes furiously.
How long has he had them in his pocket?!
"Hell no!" I manage to push out and as Rosik walks into the small space I stumble back, I think I'd rather a weapon in his hand to this.
He calmly strolls over to the sink and places it on the side.
It's a white pair with lace over the front while the back is basically just a string which I can already feel digging into uncomfortable areas.
Turning around Rosik crosses his arms and leans against the sink casually.
"You will wear them Kitty. You've worn your one pair for far too long and diseased girls aren't useful." My cheeks burn brighter as his words do actually make sense to me.
It's been four days and I've been in the same underwear the whole time.
It is dangerous, but personally I'd like more.. comfortable options.
"Your cousin put them on with no complaints." Rosik continues and I clench my fists, disgusted that he knows what underwear she's wearing and knowing that he'll soon know mine as well.
"Can I have a pair like Dana's?" I grit out, ignoring my burning cheeks and Rosiks eyes which are joyfully taking in my flustered appearance.
"Nope." Rosik replies, popping the P.
"You get what you are given and this is what I'm kind enough to provide you with." I briefly wonder if he has gone to this effort for all his victims but I severely doubt it.
Lucky us.
Stiffly I nod my head after a few minutes, desperate to stop the rush of blood to my face.
Satisfied and slightly surprised by my quick submission Rosik quickly pushes off the sink and walks out the door.
"I'll be just in the hallway Kitty."
Rosik calls out eagerly and in response I walk up to him and slam the door in his face.
Disgusting pig.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As much as I wanted to draw the shower out for as long as I could I didn't want to risk making Rosik impatient.
I'm constantly aware of the lack of locks in this hellhole.
After a few minutes of frantically washing my hair and body I finally stumble out of the shower.
The steam fuzzes my mind and I can't help but see black spots as I sway my way to the sink.
I clench the weak porcelain and force my eyes to clear before turning on the tap.
I wrap the towel around my body before leaning down and drinking greedily from the clean water.
It helps wipe away the fog but my stomach protests as it wants something more filling than water.
But I refuse to ask for food just yet.
When I was fifteen the girl group I hung out with went through a phase where food just wasn't 'cool' so I followed the trend and managed to survive two weeks on half a meal a day, while constantly snacking on mints to satisfy my cravings during the day.
Then I had to go to hospital when I suddenly couldn't get out of bed.
I realised how idiotic I was being and quickly altered my diet but I'm confident in my ability to last a little longer than most when it comes to ignoring hunger pains.
Using my hand I wipe away the fog on the mirror and stare hard at my reflection, willing some life back into it.
My eyes are dry and I'm grateful for the lack of tears however as I look closer I realise with a sinking feeling that I can't really see anything in them.
I'm just a shell right now.
My hair is darkened from the water and I know that in a few minutes when my hair starts to dry that ridiculous curls are going to grow but I can't convince myself to care.
After my forced sleep the bags under my eyes aren't as dark as I expected but a yawn still bursts through my lips, Rosiks constant presence weighing heavily on my soul.
As I begin brushing my teeth I try to softly hum a forgotten tune to try and bring some some other colour back into me besides the handprints on my cheeks but the notes quickly grow slow and sad.
I can't even manage an upbeat tune.
Sighing loudly I finish brushing my teeth and turn to what I've been trying to forget about.
The panties taunt me and I cringe at the silky feel of them.
These are high quality and I have a feeling that they weren't cheap.
"Five more minutes!" Rosik calls out from outside and I gasp burst fom my lips at the sudden noise and I slap my hand over my lips, nearly dropping the towel.
Rosik still hears me though and chuckles loudly before leaning against the closed door.
I watch the thin wood bend around his sudden weight and I'm quick to speed things up.
Breathing heavily I quickly pull up the panties into a semi-comfortable position before clasping my dirty but sturdy bra on and doing up the buttons at the front of the dress.
I take a few steps to test out the 'exploration' factor of the panties and cringe slightly, this is not going to be fun.
I decide to wrap my old panties within the towel, not knowing where else to place them before folding the towel next to the sink.
After I'm fully dressed I consider waiting until Rosik barges in but I'm struck with a far more exciting plan as the wood continues to struggle to support him.
Walking quietly up to the door and feeling semi-grateful for the lack of shoes I wrap my eager hand around the doorknob.
I count to three before ripping the door open and jumping back with a grin.
As expected Rosik was unprepared and collapses backwards onto the cruel, cold tiling.
Rosik begins to swear loudly and I jump again as his foul words bounce off the foul walls.
Stepping daintily over his struggling form I'm quick to scurry out of the bathroom and I make my way down the hallway.
Laughing lightly as Rosiks groans only get louder.
I spin around as I hear him stumble to his feet and certain that I'm actually going insane I have the courage to actually poke my tongue out at him like a juvenile.
Of course this makes Rosiks face grow bright red, his scar bulging and I walk backwards quicker.
All I need is a few minutes with Dana and then I'll be happy to go take a nap somewhere and leave everyone in peace.
Everyone will be happy.
As I go to spin around and turn the corner into the lounge with the tv playing I hit a tough surface and swear softly under my breath before rubbing my sore nose.
Looking up the collared blue shirt I realise that it's Eric that I'd bumped into and I'm quick to take a few steps backwards.
"Whoa. How did you get out of the cuffs?" Eric exclaims and I widen my eyes before whispering solemnly and seriously.
"Magic." I whisper as close to his ear that I can get to before taking advantage of him leaning in to hear me and shoving him unbalanced.
I enter the room to find Axel sprawled across the couch, various ice packs on his body and saying he looks like shit is probably the nicest compliment that I can give him right now.
His body that is peeking out from under his light blanket is black and blue.
Blood is still dried to his face but I can tell that somebody has tried to clean him up to the best of their ability. Thankfully he is sleeping deeply and his snores confirm this as I stare morbidly at his beaten state.
Staring at his various bruises I can't help but pull out memories of what bruises feel like in those positions.
My body has healed over the years but the memory's still haunt me, Dad refused to give up his power over me.
"What are you doing in here Katie?"
A quiet voice calls out and my eyes cut over to Dana who is sitting crossed-legged in front of the tv which is playing some sort of drama.
Dana has a guarded expression on her face and I try to send her a small smile to raise her spirits but she remains serious.
"She was just coming in to say goodnight." A thick voice says from behind me and my eyes roll as Rosik forces himself into the conversation.
"Can I please just have some time alone with my cousin?" I implore and I notice Axels snoring has suspiciously stopped.
"You had plenty of alone time when you escaped." Rosik grumbles before grabbing my arm and tugging my weak body backwards.
I begin to struggle, ignoring how pitiful my attempts are but as I continue staring deeply into Dana's eyes I find that she takes in the scene with no real emotion.
Maybe Dana needs some alone time.
"Good night Katie."
Dana murmurs before turning back to the tv and I whisper "goodnight" back with a smile to mask my feeling of hurt.
"We'll get her to bed soon." Eric replies all chipper and I send him a smouldering glare before I'm tugged out of sight and back into Rosiks room.
The last thing I see is Axel smirking while 'sleeping.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rosik has now been asleep for quite some time, his snoring while isn't as obnoxious as Axels is still quite bad and I can feel a headache pounding inside my skull.
I'd managed to convince Rosik not to put me back in cuffs overnight on the one condition that I would let him hold me while we slept with no complaints.
I had plenty of complaints but thankfully I managed to internalise them, even when Rosiks hands would start to slip a little low, all I would have to do is land a swift hit over his hands and they would crawl back up to my waist.
For the past thirty minutes I've been slowly untangling myself from his grasp, starting with our legs and now finally I'm able to pull my arm out of his loose grip with a sigh.
Rosik remains in peace and I fight the urge to hit him just to break his serenity.
Monsters like him don't deserve to sleep soundly.
However I've got more pressing matters like finding a new way to escape this place.
Softly I slide out of bed and my feet make no sound as I pad towards the door.
I glance back at Rosik one last time before opening the door slowly, cringing at each creak before sliding my body through the small gap that I've created.
The house is a near silent, hulking mass and I cautiously make my way to the doorframe to the lounge and peer around the edge, holding my breath.
Axel is in his same position, he is snoring while grimacing while Eric is no where to be seen.
I silently scout the house and find him no where.
I hesitate outside of Dana's room but I don't try to turn the handle knowing that it will only be locked and scare her further.
I hope that she can get some sleep even though she's alone.
Not wanting to waste my opportunity I only hesitate a moment at her door before turning around and making my way to the kitchen.
I stare hungrily at the cupboards and consider making a quick snack but I'm not willing to be that selfish.
My hunger can wait, freedom cannot.
I quicken my steps until I'm at the back door and holding my breath I take a chance and try to turn the handle.
Like I half-expected the door remains unlocked and I cheer internally as it swings open silently, washing me in the light breeze from outside.
My eyes greedily take in the land and stare longingly at the forest which acted like a protective blanket for Dana and I yesterday.
However I'm not going outside to escape.
I'm going outside to find something to give me an edge.
Another tool to use to escape or even better another weapon.
I leave the door open behind me, planning to be only a few minutes and begin walking over the cool, stiff grass.
I crinkle my nose as they prick my toes but I continue a brisk walk towards the unexplored barn which has been tempting me since we pulled back up to this property.
There must be something of use in there.
The wide doors open loudly but I'm confident that nobody is out here to listen, Eric could be sleeping in his car but that's at the front of the property.
Even the birds are quiet as I struggle to heft the thick wood across the grass.
My chest is heaving by the time that I've managed to open it far enough for me to enter.
There better be something of use in here I think bitterly as I lean against the door to catch my breath.
I'm putting in too much energy, wasting my precious few drops left.
Clinging to hope like a child would a favourite toy I shimmy my way into the open floor plan of a stereotypical barn.
There is an old tractor in the centre which looks worn but useable much like the house and I list tractor as a potential escape device, an easy target but hard to pierce.
There are huge piles of hay scattered around the large space and I crinkle my nose as a strong smell attacks my senses, an animal must have gotten trapped in here and died.
Mindful of where I'm stepping I slowly investigate the place but it's annoyingly bare.
The hay continues right to the back wall and my eyes desperately search for a toolbox or even a shard of glass, I'm desperate to work with anything besides my weak body.
Just as my eyes brush over the back wall of hay they latch onto something silver sticking out of the hay.
I grin and quickly weave my way through the hay and eagerly squint at the object as I get closer.
The putrid smell gets stronger but like a crow I'm too focused on the shiny object to notice.
There are no windows in the back section of the barn so I can't make out the object until my eyes adjust which only happens when I'm handful of steps away and once my eyes recognise the object I freeze.
By now my hands subconsciously have covered my nose and mouth, the smell making the hairs on my arms stand and my greedy haze clears as reality sinks in.
Sticking out of the hay is a silver, worn watch.
The hands are still silently moving but what isn't moving is the hand attached to it.
I'm not even breathing as my wide eyes slowly trail from the stiff, weathered arm up to a man's aged torso which is bare.
The lack of a shirt usually would be enough to cause me to grow uncomfortable but I instantly begin retching as my mind struggles to process the gun shot wound in the centre of his chest.
His lower half is covered by the hay, like somebody had half-attempted to hide him but lost the desire midway. My whole world spins as my eyes stare unblinking at the wound which is leaking some form of liquid and to my disgust I can even see insects crawling inside of the hole.
I finally turn from the bloated body and vomit over a nearby hay pile.
I manage to stay standing but my body shakes powerfully as tears spill from my eyes, trying to cleanse the heinous sight.
I force myself to look up at his face and while it's still gruesome with dried blood running out of his ears, nose and mouth I can tell that he hasn't been dead for that long.
His thick white hair covers his dull blue eyes which I can vaguely see wide open and unseeing.
I have no doubt that this man was the owner of the house that Dana and I are being kept in, the only question I have is did Rosik or Axel kill him?
I want to drop to my knees and either scream or sob as ice cold fear fills my veins but I can't stand being near him anymore.
Disgusted in the sight and myself I stumble out of the barn and fall onto the grass outside of the door, not even bothering to close it before breathing deep, fresh lungfuls of air.
I begin ripping out shards of grass as loud sobs burst from my body.
This situation is getting more and more messed up with each day and I don't know if I'm capable of recovering.
I like to think of myself as a resilient person but this isn't about resilience anymore, this is about endurance and perseverance to keep my mind intact.
That poor man is just another victim at the hands of Rosik and Axel.
To think that I held the gun that actually killed that poor soul.
The thought causes me to vomit again but due to having no food in me all I can manage is stinging bile which burns my throat.
I allow my body to fall backwards onto the grass and I stare up at the stars through blurry eyes as I try to remember the first night we arrived at what I thought was an abandoned house.
Obviously being in the soundproof van there was no way that the sound of the gun could have reached Dana or I.
Both the men were out of the van at some stage, Axel opened our door and had the gun yet Rosik was in the house when we exited the van.
They are both responsible but who pulled the trigger?
"Okay are you coming in or am I calling Rosik?" I hear a voice call out across the space and I sit up suddenly, arms wrapped around my shivering body and my tear stricken face turns towards Axel who is leaning heavily against the back door with a look of obvious discomfort.
Once he see's my state his whole body grows tense as he realises what I've discovered.
"Curiosity killed the cat." Axel calls out and I stiffly push myself back onto two feet.
I size him up from a distance and calmed by the fact that even standing is draining him I slowly begin walking back towards the house.
I ignore his remark still in shock and as much as I want to stop crying, small trickles continuously drop down my exhausted features.
As I reach the door Axel steps back into the kitchen and I watch warily as he takes a seat at the table.
I walk in soon after and close the door softly before taking a seat across from him.
I can tell that he wanted me to do so but obviously wasn't expecting me to do it so easily as he studies my appearance with surprise.
"Starvation has taken care of your ego already. I knew it would work."
Axel finally mutters and I sit up straighter in my chair.
"A good beating has taken care of your ego already. I knew it would work."
I mimic with bland features and Axels face grows dark as my words affect him.
I watch him clench his fists on the table and the bruises lining his jaw grow stark against his pale skin.
"It's time to make your decision."
Axel grits out and my tired eyes take in his sunken ones for a few minutes while he eagerly awaits my answer.
"Rosik already knows of your plan Axel. Do you really think that you'll be left alone with either of us again?"
I question with a sigh.
I go to raise my hands to tuck away a stray hair but after seeing the tremors I quickly drop my hands onto my lap, but Axels notices.
"We're alone now. You've seen what I'm capable of. Are you finally scared of me?" Axel practically gloats and I glare at him with hate.
"So you did it then? You killed that poor man?" I spit out and Axel begins studying the table, not liking the heat of my gaze.
"Well I didn't pull the trigger, that was lover boy. But I watched the whole thing!" Axel fills in like a schoolboy anxious to please his teacher and I feel bile burn my throat once more.
This is not an achievement.
"I'm afraid of the gun Axel. I will never be scared of you." I explain once again, just like the other day but this time I say it slowly to truly deflate Axels ego.
Now that I know that Rosik has murdered someone I suddenly feel quite warm towards Axel and funnily enough content to be out here.
"And once again my answer is the same. I choose myself Axel. I won't let you harm my cousin. Although in your current state I don't see you capable of bodily harm." My voice and face is deadpan, my mind is still sluggish from the traumatic sight and I'm barely aware of what I'm saying now.
Axels beaten face is obviously disappointed in my answer and he slouches in his seat.
"Stop pretending to be so good! It's just annoying now. You're obviously way more attached to your cousin than she is to you. She's having a great time without you." I know Axel is just desperately trying to get under my skin with his cruel words but I mentally can't process them to feel anything so I carry on.
"As long as she is safe in that room and away from a disgusting piece of shit like you then I'm happy to face whatever you throw at me. So go ahead, try and kill me Axel." I try to sound tough while I say this but my voice tremors at the end as I try to control my emotions.
I just want to sleep.
"She is definitely safe and sound in her room. The new guy is seeing to that." Axel replies quickly and finally his words have an affect on me.
I'm out of the chair in seconds and with my body acting faster than my mind I begin running out of the kitchen.
I'm halfway down the hallway before Axels words stop me.
"Dana requested it." Axel huffs out as he heaves himself out of the chair and I turn to face him with a look of shock. Dana isn't that insane, her judgement is better than that.
My footsteps down the hallways obviously weren't masked by the carpet because suddenly Rosiks door is pulled open, nearly straight off its hinges as Rosiks flings his body into the hall.
He takes in the scene for a few seconds, from my tear-stricken face to Axels bruised smirk which is quickly deflating at the glare Rosik is sending his way.
Rosik begins taking threatening steps towards Axel and I recognise the look of horror and acceptance of pain as Axel looks anywhere except at Rosik.
"Why is Dana with the new guy?" I spit out at Rosiks back and he freezes before turning to face me.
I can sense Axels confused stare but I keep my eyes locked on the murderer in front of me.
I didn't do this to help Axel, my needs are just more important.
"He is?" Rosik replies completely unaware and my eyes widen as I realise that Axel was telling the truth.
Dana requested this.
I clench my fists and spin around to kick down the door if I have to but obviously I turned too quickly as the whole room begins to spin.
A gasp bursts from my lips as I drop to the ground and vaguely I hear Rosik thunder up the hall to meet me.
The dead mans body continues to flash behind my eyes which I realise are clenched shut.
Somewhere I think I can hear screaming but whether it's in my mind or coming from me I truly can't tell.
The face changes on the body, morphing cruelly and morbidly to the people I love.
Dana, my Mum even my Dad appears to me and as each face passes by I feel my emotions grow dimmer and dimmer.
It's not until the final face appears that I truly feel nothing and I can't even manage to reach out and close the eyes of the body before I finally black out.
My blue eyes stared back at me from the rotting corpse with so much emotion yet I couldn't seem to even attempt sadness before closing my real stiff lids.
All I want to do is rest.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This was both a fun and a challenging chapter to write. I wanted to go into detail over the body but not enough to deter the reader.
I spent hours researching decomposing stages of a body and decided that this was the 'cleanest' way for me to describe it.
Let me know what you think!
~Kaitlin.