Evan sat at his desk, he was working on his English essay for Macbeth. Evan always liked English and was very good at it, it was his best subject. His mum just said he had a way with words, how he was able to express himself through his writing. But Evan didn't really see it as a big deal. He saw a notification pop up in the top left of his screen. He clicked on it already knowing who it was from. He couldn't help but smile to himself.
From: teen.angst@gmail.com
To: Tree.ranger@outlook.com
Subject: *slow clap*
Dear Evan Hansen,
Nice work on seducing my sister Hansen. Yeah i don't sit at the cafeteria, no one really wants to have lunch with the freak, so in answer to your question yes i sit alone. Normally i sit around the back of one of the old buildings, no one ever goes around there. It's about the only time i am free from seeing people in this place.
And no comment to your last one...
Sincerely,
Me
Evan hit reply immediately. It felt so odd to actually be communicating with someone. It almost felt like there was a little pocket universe within these emails that they wrote to each other. A little world that only they knew about, one where they could control what people thought of them and what people said. It was nice, to get a break from reality in this way.
From: Tree.ranger@outlook.com
To: teen.angst@gmail.com
Subject: Sorry
Dear Connor Murphy,
Well i get it if you prefer to sit alone but i was wondering, i dont know, feel free to say no i won't mind, if you wouldn't mind some company? I mean i dont want to impose and we can just stick to emails that's fine i mean i dont mind sitting with Jared i just sorta sit there and try to ignore the fact that i feel like everyone is staring at me, even though i know they aren't but it still seems like they do okay sorry I'm rambling so yeah don't- don't mind me sorry
Sorry
Sincerely,
Me
He hit send. He instantly regret it. Connor literally just said he sits alone so he can smoke weed and not have to deal with anyone why would he want Evan's company. Another email came through, Evan almost winced as he opened it.
From: teen.angst@gmail.com
To: Tree.ranger@outlook.com
Subject: Calm down
Dear Evan Hansen,
Dude calm the fuck down. Yes you can sit with me geez. Do you think I'd tell you where i sat if I didn't want you near me?
Sincerely,
Me
Evan read over the email a couple of times. So it turns out Connor Murphy was in fact inviting Evan to sit with him in the first place, which was just- wow. It took five minutes for Evan to get his heart rate back to normal, and he could feel his face heating up. But why? I mean friends sit with each other all the time it's not like they were going on a date or something. So why did Evan feel so anxious and flustered? Was this about what Jared said about getting stabbed?
...
Evan got dropped off at school as normal.
"Alright honey have a good day! I'll pick you up after okay?" Evan nodded as he grabbed his bag.
"Okay see you."
"Love you honey!"
"Love you too mum."
Evan went to Biology, counting down the minutes until his next class. He had maths next. The class filed in and the teacher started giving back the marks for the assignment. Evan turned his paper over, he couldn't believe it. He got an -A. Evan only ever got a +B when it came to maths, and that was a good mark.
"HOLY SHIT!" Evan turned around to the desk behind him, Connor was grinning ear to ear. He showed Evan his paper, showing a big -A written in red pen. Evan turned at showed Connor his paper.
"Me too!" Connor laughed and held up his hand.
"Slam it." Evan went to high five Connor but missed as he nearly fell off his chair. Connor burst out laughing.
"Hey stop it!" Evan was laughing too, Connor was wiping the tears out of his eyes when the teacher came around to collect the papers again. As she went around the back of the classroom one guy at the back stood up with his paper high in the air.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I am BELOW AVERAGE!" The guy held up his paper with a giant -C on the front. Evan was pretty sure his name was Patrick.
Lunch came round soon enough, and Connor led Evan to around the back of the school. They sat down against a brick wall and Evan began to take out his lunch. Evan always bought his own lunch to avoid interacting with people during up for lunch or getting shoved in the queue. It was just easier that way. Connor swivelled his body to face Evan, and so Evan did the face to face Connor.
"Alright then Hansen, while we are here we might as well get to know each a little better." Evan nodded.
"Okay well what did you have in mind?" Connor shrugged.
"I don't know i figured we just just ask questions to each other, random stuff ya know... icebreaker type thing." Evan set his lunch down.
"Ah okay, you go first." Connor looked right into Evans eyes, which sort of made his heart flutter a little. He tried to ignore it.
"Dusk or dawn?" Evan thought for a minute.
"Dawn." Connor sighed and Evan begin to panic, was that the wrong answer? Was this some sort of test?
"Why is that?" Evan was sure his hands were sweaty at this point. He wiped them awkwardly on his shirt.
"Well my mum says it's the start of a new day, so anything could happen i guess? Like a fresh start sort of thing?" Connor nodded slowly.
"Well i prefer dusk, that moment when the sun is just about to disappear, and the sky is all oranges and blues and purples. And you can see the stars starting to come out." Connor smiled to himself, "Your turn."
"Okay um, favourite colour?" Connor just raised his eyebrows. "Oh yeah right, sorry bad question." He thought for some time. "Favourite subject."
"English." Evan smiled.
"Same." Connor smiled back.
"I have a thing for words. I mean i cant write or anything but i love to read, the way that words can describe exactly how you feel, even when you don't even know how you feel just amazes me. The fact that you can just escape in some one else's words."
"I don't know Connor, i think you have quite a way with words." Evan fidgeted with his hands.
"Well if that is the case Hansen, I'm not the only one." And in the way he smiled Evan knew he was talking about him. He prayed Connor didn't notice how much his face was heating up. What was wrong with him?
"Alright my turn then." He leaned in close to Evan and almost whispered.
"Guilty pleasure?" Evan froze all over and Connor just laughed. "Not like that Hansen head out of the gutter. It doesn't have to be sexually orientated..." He winked, "unless of course it is sexually orientated then talk up." Evan shifted uncomfortably, which seemed to amuse Connor greatly. Evan remained silent for some time until he finally answered, looking around as if someone was watching.
"Beyoncé" Connor frowned.
"Like the singer?" Evan nodded. Connor chuckled. "I can just imagine you in your room belting out to "Say my Name" while dancing around."
"Okay then your turn." Connor winced.
"I don't know if you are ready for that Hansen it's pretty... intense." Evan felt his stomach flip.
"I can handle it." Connor raised an eyebrow.
"It's pretty dirty." Evan was sure his face was red by now.
"Tell me anyway." Connor smiled wickedly.
"I like the game you play Hansen. Move closer." Evan shuffled a little closer. Connor rolled his eyes.
"Closer." He practically purred. Evan could pretty much feel the hairs of the back of his neck stand up... among other things which he didn't particularly want to think about right now. Connor bit his lip as he leaned into a whispered in Evan's ear.
"Disney movies." He sat back looking serious for a couple of seconds, before he completely lost it. He burst into hysterical laughter, clutching his torso as tears streamed from his face. Evan rolled his eyes.
"Real mature Murphy." Connor started hitting the ground and wheezing.
"But you should have seen YOUR FACE HA!" Evan tried to keep a straight face but gave up and joined Connor in the laughter. It was just the two of them, laying in the grass laughing together, no one else around to judge or criticise or put them down.
"But seriously though, I remember Zoe had a Disney phase so our mum bought all the movies. Zoe grew out of it soon after but i never did." Evan smiled.
"That's adorable Connor." Connor scowled.
"Not it isn't i am not adorable. I am a mean emo bully who smokes weed and hates his life." Evan just shook his head.
"Maybe, but you are still adorable." Much to Evan's disappointment the bell went, and third period was commencing. Connor jumped to his feet and sighed as he pulled Evan onto his. Evan went to walk off when Connor stopped him.
"Hey Hansen?" Evan turned around.
"Yes Connor?" Connor shrugged.
"Ya know I'm pretty bad with emails, i was thinking maybe we could just text?" Evan blinked a couple of times before responding.
"Ah, ah yeah sure. I'll get some paper and I'll write my number down." Connor shook his head.
"Nah don't worry about it." He reached into Evan's pocket and pulled out the Sharpie that he used to sign Evan's cast. He pulled the cap off with his teeth and handed the pen to Evan. "Just write it on my arm." He rolled up the left sleeve of his hoodie for Evan to right on. Evan started to write his number, his hands shaky as ever. Connor sighed.
"Bigger than that Hansen." Evan went over the number again making them bigger, until his phone number took up all of Connor's forearm. Connor grinned.
"Thanks Hansen." He waved and set off for class.