Song for the chapter: Dean- Dayfly ft Sulli, Rad Museum
A whimper escaped my lips. Not from the pain of my skin tearing, not from the open vein spilling blood all over the sink but from the steel grip of Jason's hand on my wrist, cutting circulation from my hand.
Embarrassment washed over me, making me drop the scissors and avoid eye contact. His grip only got tighter, tighter to the point I thought he'd break my wrist.
"Ah..." I bit my lip, as he pulled me into him. I can't face him. I know he'll be livid.
"What in Gods name are you doing?" He growled, lights flickering. His voice was deeper than normal, making me cry. He pulled my arm tighter. I bit my lip, softly whimpering.
"I just have to do it." I cried.
"Look. At. Me." He growled.
I slowly peaked up at him, looking back down as soon as I saw his terrifying expression. Eyebrows in a deep frown over his obsidian eyes. Jaw clenched so hard I thought his teeth would break.
He raised me up by my arm, picking me up from the floor. I grunted, wincing as he sat me on top of the bathroom counter.
He let go of my hand, I couldn't help but notice that my wrist was perfectly fine. I kept my head down, paralyzed with fear of what he would do.
A hand around my neck slowly brought my face up to look at him. He leaned in really close, making sure I couldn't look away. I froze, not wanting to do anything that would make him angrier.
"If you ever try something this STUPID!" He punched the counter, shaking the whole house, flickering the lights. "I will personally deliver you to hell myself!" He raged, his voice deafening me. "Do you UNDERSTAND?!" He trembled in anger. I couldn't find my voice to talk so I just nodded. It was the only thing I could do. "I don't care if you lose your damn over-emotional mind, you will never take your own life. Whether you realize it or not, a life is connected to millions. You fucking idiot." He muttered. The grip on my neck was getting a little too tight so I tried to pull his hand back.
"Mph..." I grunted to myself.
"This has nothing to do with being Heavens warrior either, every single life is so monumental to each other that taking your own life effects everything!" I gripped his wrist, trying to pull his hand away but I was burned. I was burned by his tattoos. His skin was burning hot as well but the slightest touch of his tattoo legitimately burned my skin. "Your life is such a precious gift that some will never get to experience. How fucking dare you try to take it away!" Right... Jason, well all angels, don't know what it's like to live. This must've effected him personally.
"I don't care..." I whispered. I don't.
He pulled me off the counter, dragging me by the same hand I previously cut only seconds ago. He threw me on my bed, sparks in my stomach inappropriately exploding. This was definitely not the right time. I'm vehemently terrified of Jason at the current second. He gripped my wrist, pulling me into my headboard. Suddenly, I couldn't move my wrist. Same thing with my other hand.
I didn't have the courage to argue. Even with my normal personality, this side of Jason isn't someone I'd like to push.
I'm strapped to the bed and I can't move.
"I know your thoughts are driving you crazy so just listen to music." He placed my headphones on, my playlist playing.
'I wanna know...
if you care for me.
If you feel my touch as heavenly...
I wanna know if you feel this too, if you don't then I can't be in love with-'
"Wake up." My headphones were tossed aside.
"Hm..." I sighed, squinting my eyes to see Jason straddling my waist.
"Drink this." He put a bottle to my lips, pouring it down my throat before I was ready.
I kicked my feet, at least tried. Coughing a little, a few droplets rolled down out the side of my mouth. I grunted once the medicine was done.
"This should stop all the negative thoughts and ideas overtaking your mind. At least for a while." Anger is still evident in his words and expressions. I groaned, feeling the liquid trail down my throat. My head swayed momentarily, dazed by the medicine.
"Are you going to let me go?" I asked, pulling on the angelic restraints. I felt energy slowly come back to me.
"No." He said plainly, while pulling away.
"Mmph." I grunted, pulling yet not gaining an inch of space. "Let me go, my arms hurt."
"Safe to say, I don't trust you. You're losing your mind, I have no idea what you'll do." He sighed, straddling my desk chair.
"You're just going to leave me here?" I frowned, tugging on my wrists.
"You are arguing, struggling...." He noted, narrowing his eyes.
"I don't need to be tied up when you're here. Just let me go." I rolled my eyes.
"No." He smiled. "This is good. I rather have you angry and struggling then lost and passive."
I sighed.
"What if my parents come in here?"
"They're under the...illusion that you're at Alex's for the week."
"What?"
"Your parents are an unnecessary variable. Also, I don't need to see you cry your heart out every time they talk to you." He tighten his jaw.
I rolled my eyes, dropping my head back. Lets not add fuel to the fire. Clearly he is still mad.
My mind had a constant urge to think of something degrading but it never developed into a full thought. There is a war in my head, the drug against my poisoned mindset. I closed my eyes, shaking my head to myself.
I bit my lip, focusing on the dispute in my mind. My head's a mess. I don't think this medicine did much. I can think a little more freely and without reserve or fear but- mmph- it's not quite right.
I don't know how long it was before Jason snapped me out of my inner conflict.
"Baby." There was a tug on my foot. "Serenity..." Another tug on both my feet catching my full attention.
"Hmm?" Lifting my head, every muscle in my neck ached. I moaned softly in pain.
"Does your body hurt?" Jason asked. There was a dip in the bed around me. Opening my eyes I saw a blurry attractive angel in front of me.
"Yes it does, not that an angel would know what pain feels like." I mumbled.
A warm hand gently brought my hand down, easily without struggle. Same thing with the next.
"Fuck..." I cursed in a whisper, moaning while stretching slowly.
"Don't..." Jason groaned. He pulled me into him, in between his legs. "Curse." His eyebrow twitched. "How many times do I have to tell you?" He narrowed his eyes at me. "hmm?"
"You're such a hypocrite. You curse more than me." I rubbed my neck softly.
"I am, aren't I?" He scoffed to himself. "But you are better than me, so please don't." He mumbled. I shook my head, absolutely disagreeing with him. I am not better than him, not in anyway. Horrible thoughts pulsed through my head.
He dragged his thumb over my lip. I took a deep breath, feeling calm. I looked up at him, staring at me with dark grey eyes, handsome as ever.
Feeling his thumb rubbing against my lip, I couldn't help but wrap my lips around his thumb.
I innocently looked back at him, his eyes were glued to my lips. He looked up to meet my gaze, there was a quick movement from him like he wanted to do something but thought better of it.
"Serenity..." He groaned, biting his lip.
"hmm?" I rubbed my tongue against the pad of his thumb.
He shook his head, placing his other hand on my neck, making me gasp from the ache of my sore neck. Easy escape for him.
Jason cleared his throat, closing his eyes and shaking his head.
"How do you feel?" He asked, skipping right over what just happened.
"I feel... Uneasy."
"I would think so." He sighed, pushing my hair our of my face. "I don't know how to help you, Serenity. Tell me how." His eyes were filled with worry, desperately needing to find the cure for my poison.
"I don't know, Jason. I need something strong, something really powerful- pure."
"Which is...?" He raised an eyebrow, searching my eyes for an answer. I bit my lip, looking at down at his hands.
My head drained instantly of the energy I had just regained. My body slumped, my eyes lowered, my face draped down.
"I wanna know..." I sang once again, negativity taking over my head.
I laid in his chest, wanting his aura to calm all the violent thoughts going on in my head.
"No, no, no." He panicked, lifting my head up to look at him. "Don't go. Don't go." He looked in my eyes. I closed my eyes, wanting to go back to sleep. "No, Serenity." He groaned out loud in frustration. "That was only 10 minutes."
I laid into his chest, feeling Jason grip my hair tight.
"...a million miles.... Between you and I... I wanna know if..." I sang quietly to myself. Tears threatening to run at the malicious thoughts.
"Don't cry again, Serenity." He dropped his head against mine. "I don't like you crying..." He kissed my head.
2nd
After helping me dress and clean up, we left my depressing room and state to a warm sunny escape.
"Why can't I figure it out?" He groaned, pacing back and forth.
I laid against the grass, petting a small light brown bunny. Tears running down my face quietly.
"Family, friends, it doesn't work. Animals, nature, nothing! Not even a rose makes me you hesitate." He sighed." Art, fun, memories, music... Oh no." I looked at his frustrated stance. "Come on, Kitten." He picked me up. "Lets go to the beach."
For the first time in a week, I smiled at my own accord just looking at the beach, I haven't been to a beach in a long time!
We were on a small barren island, a huge mountain behind us. Sand clean and bright. The water was so clear that I could see the sand as far as my sight let me.
"Come on," Jason pulled my hand, my feet sunk in the sand, making it even harder to keep up with him. "I can't deal with it this time, you have the help." Walking around the coast of the island, I began to see the problem. Dead fish bordered the sand and water. Along with some birds. "The water is infected. You have to cleanse it. You can do it, right Babygirl?" He kissed my head.
"No, I cant." I mumbled. " I'm not strong enough, I can't. I can't!"
"Serenity! If you don't help now, these creatures will die. It will spread and kill millions more."
"I can't, I can't." My breathing became erratic, quick, messy breaths. I dropped to my knees, gasping loudly.
"Baby, you're having a anxiety attack." He gripped my shoulders, making me look up at him. "Look at me, look at me," He made me face him. A small smile on his face, he leaned in placing a kiss on my cheek. I took a deep breathe, relaxing under his hold. My breathing slowed, my heartbeat steadied, and my mind eased.
"Breathe, Babygirl, Breathe." He whispered. I followed his instructions. "Good girl." He kissed my ear. Tingles shot up around my body. "Now I want you to help the water, purify it, help the animals. Okay."
"Uhm...I ca-"
"No, no..." He shifted our positions, turning me around to face the water with him directly behind me. "Don't think." He whispered in my ear. "Put your hands in the water and feel the darkness, rid it." He grabbed my hands, sliding them in the water.
The water was freezing...evil.
"Don't think, don't think." Jason whispered, occasionally nibbling on my ear to distract me.
My breathing was uneven, because of Jason and because of the water.
I know how to do this. I remember, I've done it. It was hurting the animals, I don't want it to hurt them.
"Baby," Jason whispered in my ear. I moaned, gripping the sand in my hand tighter. "You can do it. I believe in you, Serenity."
I closed my eyes, imagining the darkness, I groaned as I pushed it away.
Its not working.
In contrary, the evil only inched forward. Spreading, killing...
"Why isn't it working? I-I-I tried! I did the same thing I always do." I bit my lip, crying.
I felt Jason sigh behind me.
He stood up, pulling away. Loud noises of frustrations sounded behind me. Yelling, kicking...
I can't even do this anymore... I don't understand, did God give up on me? I can't believe....
Well, good!
Now He understands that I really can't do this. He'll pick someone else, someone stronger, better.
This is good.
I turned around to see Jason enraged. As angry when I tried to cut myself.
"Its okay, Jason." I bit my lip, playing with the sand under me. "God will choose someone else, and everything will be okay." I smiled.
"What?!" Jason looked at me in disbelief, bewilderment. "What are you talking about?" He yelled, absolutely irritated. "How many times do I have to tell you? Its only you! Serenity Rose and no one else!" He growled.
I turned away, laying down on my side, trying to go to sleep while Jason wrecked havoc on the rocks.
"I don't think so Princess. You don't get to sleep this time." He picked me up, lifting me off the floor to sit me on top of some rocks. "Its time for you to start helping yourself and figure out how to get the rest of your heart back!"
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A/N- I hope people will realize how much impact you can have in someones life simply by saying or writing a couple of words. Everyone has different triggers, different things that set them off, something you say could effect someone much more than you could possibly know. There is no reason why you should be bullying someone or criticizing everything a person does. I don't care if they're a celebrity of just another classmate, your hate is disgusting and unwanted. A lot of people will read this and just think, 'Oh, this aint me.' or 'this author is too sensitive.' Take a moment to really think about yourself. Think about how you treat people you don't know, how you treat people you don't like, or how you treat people you're jealous of. If at any point, to any of these people you've said something with bad intentions or even done something with bad intentions, then you need to change your perspective because at that point you are a bully, you ARE hurting someone. Not liking someone doesn't warrant bullying and a lot of people don't realize that. Simply ignore the person and hold your tongue, that does not make you a 'bitch' or a 'pussy', its simply bettering your life.