No, nothin' good starts in a getaway car
It was the best of times, the worst of crimes
I struck a match and blew your mind
But I didn't mean it, and you didn't see it
The ties were black, the lies were white
-
Taylor Swift, Getaway Car
RONAN
It was around four in the morning when we finally had enough. The sheet beneath us was a wrinkled mess. Our bodies touched, but we weren't really touching each other. Our breathing was in a similar state. Harsh and ragged. Just like the previous one and probably the next one, sex with Autumn had been amazing, and laying on the bed, my body felt both worn out and satisfied. It was one of the best feelings and it stayed that way until my eyes landed on three used condoms on the floor and the uneasiness started to creep in.
I shoved those thoughts, pushing them to the back of my mind yet they always managed to find their way back into my already troubled mind. "Autumn, what are we?" Those words left my mouth before I could not stop myself or process them.
"Hmm?"
Using my elbow, I pushed myself up so I could look at her. She was staring at the ceiling, and a bead of sweat slid down her jaw, down to her neck, and settled in the hollow of her throat. One hand was placed on her flat abdomen while the other palmed up against the bed by her thigh. "What are we?" I reiterated. This time with a louder and firm voice. I knew the risk. Any guy would call me stupid for asking this and ruin my chances of getting laid in the future. I knew this could ruin whatever moment we were currently having yet I had to know. If this was some other girl, I would not be laying here thinking about this but she was Autumn. The girl I had been crushing since that day I had seen her in Carlton High. She was someone I admired, worshipped, and adored so even though I enjoyed having sex with her, I needed to know that this meant something. Feck, I wanted this to mean something!
Her gaze slid to her left as she regarded me with a small smile. "What?"
"This." I motioned at our bodies, still naked and entangled between sheets. "What does this make us?"
The smile disappeared from her face and I could see her walls starting to rise. "Nothing," she finally said. And with a sigh, she pushed herself up to a sitting position and started to pick up her panties off the ground then wore them hastily. I watched her move to the side of the bed and retrieve her bra that hung over the bedlamp.
Despite the soreness of my back, I pushed myself up and leaned back on the head of the bed. Her answer confused the hell out of me. "Pardon?"
"I said nothing." At this point, she was already fully dressed and sitting on the chair while putting her heels on. "This makes no changes."
I did not know whether I should be pissed or hurt. Before I could find out or even make any comments, she rose to her feet and walked towards me. "Frazier, this has been amazing and all. You were --are-- really great in bed. Now I could understand why all girls are competing to get into your bed."
Hearing her talking about other girls made me feel like I was a man-whore. Maybe I was. I could not object to the fact that I had slept with many girls. I mean, I would have gone blind if I did not have sex for weeks let alone months. But still, this did not make me feel any better.
"But we can't let this happen again."
Her words cut my train of thought and my head snapped up instantly once she finished her sentence. "Pardon?"
"We are friends, right?" It would have been better if she offered a smile or said that with emotion instead, she had said those in a flat tone. "We agreed that we will maintain our friendship and having sex is not part of it."
I frowned. "I thought we having sex changed things."
"No," she dropped her eyes to the bed. "it was more of an accident."
"Accident?!" I pushed the sheets away and stood, ignoring the fact that I was in my birthday suit. "How can it be an accident? Maybe the first time, yes, it was an accident but not the second. Or third or fourth. And definitely not the fifth cos we both came together."
I watched her cheeks turn slightly pink. She took a deep breath and her eyes met mine when she said, "It will not happen again."
Her words sounded final but I was a stubborn guy. "Why the bloody hell not?"
"Because even though my actions recently showed otherwise," she paused and ran one frustrated hand through her long curly hair, "I am no longer that girl, Frazier."
I took a step forward. "What girl?"
"The girl who sleeps around. I am trying not to be that girl. Whenever someone I loved betrayed me, I always looked for an alternative. When my high school boyfriend Ashton cheated on me, I found Joe and used him to get what I could not get from Ash. I don't want this to happen again."
"Bullshit," I muttered. "If so, then why did you come here ten hours ago? Why did you have sex with me again and again and again for the last ten hours since you stepped into this room? Feck, why did you even come back here? Why didn't you go home?"
Silence fell between us and I knew she did not say anything because she did not have the answer. I walked towards the minibar and poured myself a drink. Autumn was still standing there, her hands fidgeting nervously in front of her stomach.
"Frazier," she called my name and turned to face me. "I'm really sorry. Trust me, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You have done nothing wrong. It's just--"
"Yeah, it's not you it's me, right?" I cut her off, knowing full well what speech she was going to use. The classic one that people used when they got bored of their lovers but did not know what to say. "I have never used that before but I've heard it being used countless times. You don't need to use it on me."
"Frazier." Her expression turned to pity and somehow, it got me angry.
I flicked my hand, causing some whiskey to splash and drop on the table, and said, "Just go."
"But--"
I cleared the water from my eyes and closed them shut. I wished I could do the same with my heart because sometimes it was less painful that way. "Go."
A few heartbeats later, I heard her heels hitting the carpeted floor then the door slammed shut. I let out a pent-up breath and finished my drink in one go.
* * *
VINCENT
It was never the best sight to see your little sister gotten herself drunk and was flirting with a stranger who was twice her age in a hotel bar. I was never the brawling type of guy but even now, I wanted to punch the dude's face except my friend Luke was faster. He grabbed the guy by his collar and lifted him up.
"Get the fuck out before I smashed your fucking face!" growled Luke through gritted teeth.
My sister was too shocked by the whole situation. Her jaw was hanging open as she eyed both Luke and the other guy. Out of one corner of my eye, I saw the distressed waiter trying to call security as he probably sensed a fight was about to go down.
The guy who had flirted with Elle seemed to realize that he was no match to Luke — who practically lived the last ten years of his life as a brawler — simply put his hands up in defeat. "Okay, okay. I'll go."
Luke dropped his hands and the guy fled from the scene. I thought he was done yet apparently I was wrong, he turned to me and barked, "why the fuck did you leave your sister alone in a bar? Are you insane?"
To be honest, I had been wondering the same thing. Maybe I was dinged in the head. Since I could not answer him, I merely shrugged.
"He's not my babysitter, okay!" shouted drunk Shanelle. She took a step forward with one accusing finger poking Luke's chest when she nearly lost her footing and quickly grabbed his bicep. Luke had his hand protectively around her waist. Their eyes met and they removed their hands from the other's body as if their hands had just in contact burning charcoal.
"And you," said Luke with an exasperated sigh. "How many times do I have to tell you not to talk to a stranger who just wants to get into your pants?! Especially in a bar and you're drunk! Do you know how dangerous this is?"
"Why do you care?" Shanelle crossed her arms and threw a glare at him.
Luke sighed again. "Are you seriously asking me this right now?" He looked deeply into her eyes and muttered softly, "You know why, Els."
They continued to stare at each other as the tension built up. I saw my sisters blinked rapidly as she tried to prompt herself from crying. As I could no longer watch her struggling, I put one hand around her shoulders. "Let's get you home."
"I'll drive," said Luke almost immediately. Shanelle did not seem to mind so I handed the car keys to him and we walked out of the bar after tipping the bartender and apologizing for causing a commotion.
On the way to the car, both of them remained quiet although they walked next to each other and I was ahead of them. A few times I watched my friend open his mouth as if he was going to say something then clamp his lips shut. On the other hand, my sister ducked her head and paid more attention to the ground.
I purposely went to the back seat and laid down, occupying the whole row. Elle muttered, "asshole" but he let Luke open the front seat for her and got into the car. As my friend walked over the hood, trying to get to the driver seat, my sister said to me, "I know what you're trying to do, Ty. It won't work."
"I'm not doing anything," I answered just in time before Luke opened the door and the discussion was over.
"Oh, this is nice." I shifted a little, trying to find a comfortable spot. "I'm going to take a nap. Let me know when we arrive."
My sister sighed. "My brother is anything but subtle."
I was going to argue but kept my mouth shut. After all, I was supposed to be sleeping so they could have the talk. If I could, I would have left the car but I knew my sister would not be here if I was not coming. She was the type who would take the cab or even walk if push came to shove.
The car started to move an after a while, Luke finally gave a late reply, "we might as well use the opportunity he has given us." He was quiet for a moment, probably giving my sister a chance to object and when she did not say anything, he continued, "why do you keep running away from me, Els?"
"You know why," answered my sister, not giving anything away.
"No, I don't." My friend sighed again. I had never heard him sigh as many as he had done tonight. Whatever happened between them must have been severe. "And it frustrates the fuck out of me."
"Well, maybe you should stop caring so much about me!" Through my nearly closed eyes, I could see Shanelle clenching her fist and leaning forward as if she was ready to fight.
No one said anything for two minutes then my sister finally settled back in her seat.
"You know it's impossible," said Luke quietly.
Shanelle took a deep breath then breathed it out. "What is?"
"It's impossible for me to stop caring about you. I can't, Els, and I've told you why." Like glanced at her for a second before focusing his eyes on the road again. "All my life I have always run but not anymore. I'm not going to run away from us. I'm not giving up."
"Why?" She turned to look at him, her eyes were hopeful yet confused. "You know we're not compatible. We don't make sense. You're you, the playboy bad boy who won't settle for one girl and I'm not the kind of girl who likes to share. It won't work."
"You know I'm not like that. Even if I was, I'm not like that anymore. Not since I met you."
Then the discussion was over as the car came to a halt in front of my house. Luke got out of the car and Shanelle turned to look at me. "You don't have to pretend you're sleeping anymore, Ty." Her door was opened by Luke and she stepped outside, thanking him for the ride then went inside. She was smart enough to go through the back door so she would not wake our parents.
I got out of the car and moved to the seat Shanelle had used earlier. Since Luke's baby was still parked at the hotel's lobby, we decided to go back to the hotel and had some drinks.
"Okay, what is it that you wanted to talk to me about?" Luke spared me a glance. "This surprised me considering you spent months not talking to me although I heard from Hunter that you kept in touch with him and he lives all the way in Taiwan. So what got you talking?"
"Something happened and I might need your help." Tonight seemed to be the night where everyone sighed and I was no exception as I deeply sighed and leaned my head back against the headrest. "Santiano contacted me on the day I left for New York. He sold me off to an Italian mafia who threatened to harm Autumn if I did not do what they said."
Luke frowned. "I thought you're out. I thought your deal with Santiano is over."
"I thought so too but no," I shook my head slowly. "It's not over and I don't think it's ever going to be."
* * * * * * * *
a/n: this author's heart is breaking for Frazier. he's a fave. at the same time, rooting for luke and his blonde that got away.