Summary: Dan finds a boy with anxious words and pretty eyes in an empty church.
TRIGGER WARNINGS: anxiety
Stained glass.
It had to be the prettiest kind of glass there was, if Dan were to choose from them.
There was only one place he knew that had windows of stained glass, collecting the warmth of the sunlight and turned it into waves of bursting color, shadowed into gentle rainbows and flowers across the floor, and across his eyes, normally a plain brown, but lighting up as soon as those pieces of soaked glass caught in their depths.
He wasn't a religious person, but the empty church about fifteen minutes from his house was one of his favorite places.
It was the only place where stained glass lined every wall, and the air smelled of whispers and morning light. It almost felt as if the air would shatter if you spoke too loudly. There was a special kind of quiet that existed there, and only there. A certain kind of atmosphere. He longed for it, that great contrast in comparison to the loud, jeering hallways of school, the rushed strangers he passed in his every day life. He longed for the stillness of it. As though just for this moment, time had frozen. For once time was waiting for him. Waiting until he was ready to break the silence. Until he was ready to live.
It was something out of a dream, a movie in which the protagonist found shelter and comfort in secret gardens, and magical worlds hidden behind walls that slid open.
Never ever would Dan imagine he would be gifted with such solace, but he was grateful for it.
Grateful that his chest, which had been constricting into a suffocatingly tight box to hold all of his screams for the entire day finally eased with relief as the double doors came into sight.
Grateful that his muscles immediately relaxed when his fingers curled around the cool golden handle, and a warm burst of air escaped, fanning out across his cheekbones.
Grateful for the welcoming silence, like open arms waiting to embrace him. His body worn down with exhaustion, lulled into contentment by this quiet world that was all his own.
All his own.
Or maybe not.
Was that a...was that a person?
As Dan walked down the long aisles, the sound of his footsteps echoing back at him, his eyes dancing over the ceiling and the rows of empty seats, his gaze fell on the back of an ebony haired head.
A boy clearly.
All dressed up in bright colors, his bag slung to the side, a display of galaxies and supernovas. Thin stature, chin angled towards the windows.
The stained glass windows.
His legs were pulled into his chest, fingers laced around his knees, and Dan could just barely make out the soft curve of his candy colored lips.
Pretty.
Dan could tell he was pretty just be studying his side profile.
But at the sound of his timid footsteps, he turned his head and...
Holy shit.
He had to be the prettiest boy Dan had ever seen. He was pale. His skin a soft, sugar white, smooth and seamless, and he couldn't help but wonder, if he touched it, would it leave an imprint, like his feet upon fresh snow? His hair was a shock of silky black spilling around his ears, tousled above his long lashes, the sun filtered through the colored windows painting his sharp cheekbones and the dip of his graceful jawline in splattered paint. His eyes were a deep, stunning blue. Breath taking sapphire jewels, oceans of gently hushing waves, sparkling with hues of sunshine yellow and greens. His Adam's apple, prominent against his delicate neck, bobbed in his throat at Dan's approach. He didn't seem to be expecting company, as his muscles immediately tensed.
For some reason, Dan didn't like the apprehension and anxiety etched over his soft features, and felt a strange urge to say something that would smooth away the worried crinkles forming between his arched brows. He approached him carefully, sinking down beside him on the floor warmed by sunlight, and was immediately dizzied by the close proximity, the detail of each gorgeous feature, the warmth he radiated, and that scent. It was intoxicating, a mix of lemon shampoo and soap and something that was entirely unique to his being. He immediately felt a spark of infatuation.
Who was the beautiful boy sitting in an empty church?
"Hi."
He spoke the word gently, softening his greeting in lace and allowing the slight spike of panic he felt bleed through, wondering if a sign that he too was a socially awkward freak might put the boy at ease.
He seemed to momentarily freeze, his lips parting in shock. As though he hadn't really expected Dan to talk to him. He bit down on the inside of his cheek, brushing and smoothing down his wayward strands of midnight hair before forcing out a response.
"H-hello..."
Dan had to resist the temptation to coo. His voice was deeper than his, but it somehow seemed lighter, layered with more nervousness, sweetened into a pretty lullaby threaded with sunshine. He spoke as though the air itself were delicate, though his words seemed to echo in the silent room.
He offered him a weak smile, his dimple making an appearance. He blinked slowly, and glanced around, the color behind his eyes jumping to the edges of the deep pools.
"I'm Dan."
The boy tugged his bottom lip between his teeth, and grasped at the sleeve of his bright sweatshirt. He seemed to roll his name around in his head, gaze flickering to meet his for a second before moving away again.
"U-um...h-hi Dan."
So fucking cute.
"And you are?" He prompted, laughing softly at the dark blush that bloomed on his pale cheeks.
"R-right, right, sorry," He murmured, mumbling something under his breath, and twisting his nimble fingers together. "I'm Phil."
Phil.
The name suited him well.
He smiled, a bit more confidently this time, and turned his attention back to the windows, taking in the art etched in their depths.
He saw Phil's shoulders sink slightly now that his attention wasn't fully on him, and follow his gaze.
"Do you come here often too?"
Phil jumped again at his question, scrambling in a panicked state for an answer. Dan wanted to grab his shoulder and tell him to calm down, but he was pretty sure that would only freak him out even more.
He patiently waited while he got his bearings.
"U-um yes," He finally forced out in a voice just above a whisper. "But, mostly on Tuesdays, or Saturdays. I-I'm not v-very religious but..."
Phil trailed off, words dying as though he'd decided half way through that it wasn't important, and his lips tugged into a distressed frown.
"But...?" Dan continued for him kindly, and Phil let out a tiny puff of air.
"B-but I l-like it here. I like the art, and the quiet. It's just...It's peaceful and calming...it makes me feel better," He sighed gently, seeming to relax a bit once he'd finished talking. Dan opened his mouth to reply, but Phil jumped, face lighting up.
"And the stained glass!" He blurted, a little louder than he'd previously been. He burned red up to his ears, turning to Dan almost as though he were afraid.
"S-sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt..."
Dan waved the apology away. "Don't worry about it. Besides I understand. I feel the same way. I come here a lot. To get away from life and everything. And I'm a big art freak, so I just enjoy studying the paintings, and especially the stained glass. It's just visually pleasing, and naturally soothes your heart, like a...a..."
"A slice of life anime!" Phil cried out before he could stop himself, and Dan laughed loudly at the suggestion.
"Yeah...I mean I was thinking of something a bit more metaphorical and poetic but that works too."
"Sorry-"
"There's no need to apologize." Dan told him, and he exhaled, tugging his legs up to his chest and wrapping his arms around his knees.
"So, you like anime?" Dan asked in an attempt to spark up a conversation, and Phil's eyes immediately brightened.
"Yes! Do you?"
Dan nodded, amusement lacing itself in his fond smile. "Of course."
"Yay!" Phil cheered excitedly, wiggling around a little in a happy dance, and Dan couldn't help but blush, because god, what a precious human he'd discovered. "What are your favorites?"
Dan pretended to think about it even though he already knew his absolute favorites.
"Death Note, first season only, Erased, Free, Haikyu, Food Wars, Magi, Full Metal Alchemist, Your Lie in April, Attack on Titan, and My Hero Academia." He ranted quickly, and Phil clapped his hands together, practically glowing.
"Yes, yes, yes, I love all of those! Death Note was amazing, although you're right, season 2 was terrible. And Your Lie in April made me cry so much, it broke my heart and it's seriously underrated! It's definitely one of my top five favorite animes! And My Hero Academia! Ahhh, I love My Hero Academia! Have you seen Ouran High School Host Club! It's so amazing, you have to see it, it's great! I love the whole thing, ah I can't wait for season 2..." Phil trailed off, roses flourishing on his skin and heat creeping up his delicate neck as he realized that he was ranting. He slapped his hand over his mouth, cowering away from Dan slightly, and his shoulders sunk.
"Sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to talk so much, I'm sorry..."
Dan frowned, tilting his head curiously, and wondering why he was so afraid.
He'd found the whole thing so adorable that his heart burst in his chest from all of the uwus he was holding back.
"Why are you so scared?" He asked gently, scooting a bit closer to him. "I don't bite...unless you want me to." He winked suggestively.
Phil squeaked, and hid his flaming face behind his hands, and Dan couldn't stop his giggles from tumbling out. "I'm just teasing you." He reassured him, patting his head, and he peeked up at him nervously.
"You're...nice..."
The sentence was spoken so abruptly that Dan's eyebrows jumped in surprise. Phil seemed to realize what he'd said, and he looked away, rubbing the back of his neck.
"What do you mean?" He asked, but Phil just shook his head, hiding behind his bangs and pulling his arms closer to his body, protecting himself. He was a little worried by the statement. Phil said it as though he wasn't used to kindness. Is that why he was so anxious?
He decided not to ask.
Instead he sighed, directing his attention back to the glass, and leaving them in silence for a little while.
It was peaceful. Somehow, more peaceful than when he was alone. It was comforting having Phil there beside him, with his sweet scent and his sweet warmth, stained with colors and occasionally silently awing at the art work. It was comforting sitting next to him, even when they weren't saying anything.
It was strange.
Strange in the best way. Dan felt an urge to know Phil better. Maybe one day he would talk to him without such uncertainty and hesitation behind his words, and an apology wouldn't always be waiting on his lips.
He'd never felt this way about another person before. Was it just infatuation, or was he really onto something?
"I like art too,"
Phil's voice pulled him away from his thoughts. When he turned his head, the boy wasn't looking at him, but rather at a design on the stained glass. A bird, drawn with such precision, wings spread. Made of shattered rainbows.
"I love it actually. I have since I was little. But I never showed anyone, and I stopped doing it for a while. It was only recently that I started painting and drawing again. I love doing it, I've just never felt good enough at it, you know? And they said...they said it was no use trying when I was useless so I stopped. But I think I need art in a way. Without it I'll go insane. It was the first thing I did that made me feel beautiful. Nothing else makes me feel that way...so...yeah..."
He grew silent again, flushing and burning up, panic clawing at his chest. He looked over at Dan, expecting to be met with rejection and disbelief, a scoff or a sneer. Instead, he was met with a soft smile...such a soft smile...gentle on his face, gorgeous and quiet, reserved just for this moment. And there was a special glint in his warm, warm eyes, melted chocolate and honey and burgundy.
He laughed, a pretty, tinkling sound falling in soft waves from his lips.
"I understand Phil," He promised, and Phil felt his heart warm. "Maybe we can go to a museum together some day...I can even show you my drawings, and if you want, I can see yours. I'm sure they're amazing."
Phil looked back towards the glass, humming lowly, and for the first time in Dan's presence, his lips stretched into a smile that was completely content. Just for a moment.
Dan held it close.
"Yeah. Yeah, I think that would be great Dan."
And Dan thought, maybe he wouldn't mind sharing his secret garden with someone else.
A/N: Well this sucked. There is a back story for Phil and why he's so scared, but I wasn't sure if I should make a part 2. I've been having some writer's block. Also remember Purple Boy? Yeah well I'm trying to make the part 2 for that even though we're on like one shot 71 now and that was ages ago, but I want it to live up to your expectations, so I'm waiting for my creative flow. Also, Phil does have anxiety in the one shot. I know not everyone acts this way when they have anxiety, but that's how my anxiety works, well at least one aspect of it, so that's how I portrayed it. Tell me if you want a part 2 and I'll try to make it better than this one. And do you want some angst? I've been writing fluff a lot, I know. If you have any suggestions or requests please let me know. And if you have any songs you want me to make a song fic for or something, you can request that too. Also I know this is called Stained Glass, but it has little to do with that phan book I'm making called Stained Glass. Still don't know when I'm publishing that, but look out for it. Please leave comments telling me your thoughts and feelings and thank you sooooooooo much for reading. I love you all so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so much. You are beautiful, and gorgeous in every way, and you're even more beautiful when you're healthy and nourished. Please take care of yourselves. You deserve so much, and you are worth everything. You are so much more than good enough. Be unapologetically yourselves, I am here for you, and I support you. You are so incredibly loved. I want to just give you all really tight warm hugs and try to cheer you up when you're sad and make you warm beverages and wrap you up in blankets and make sure you eat and drink enough and tell you just how precious you are. You are so precious. Please do kind things for yourselves, even if they're small. Treat yourselves because you're special and you're worth it. Eat and stay hydrated! I'm sending you all virtual hugs! Love youuuuuuuuuu!