Taylor rushes down the stairs, hastily fastening her earring as she reaches for the door, knowing exactly who would be on the other side. She runs her hands down the side of her outfit, making sure nothing had ridden up and takes a deep breath before reaching for the handle. She pulls the door open and leans against the wood frame with a smile. "Hi there."
"Hey baby." Karlie grins, pushing off the wall and stepping into the apartment; the songwriter closing the door behind her. "You almost ready?" She asks, knowing she was a little early.
"Mmhmm." The blonde hums, slightly rising up on her toes to peck her girlfriend on the lips. She steps back with a smile; the shoes she chose to wear tonight put her at almost the same height as the model. "I'm just gonna put some lipstick on really quick and then I'll be all set."
Karlie smiles softly at the woman before her. "Okay."
"What?" Taylor asks, blushing under her girlfriend's unwavering stare.
Karlie innocently shrugs, unable to keep herself from smiling. "Nothing."
The blonde eyes her suspiciously for a moment before turning around to head up the stairs, but a gentle hand on her wrist halts her movements. She turns around to see those beautiful green eyes sparkling with that look that steals her breath away.
Karlie takes a step forward, closing the distance between them as she tilts her head down, pulling her girlfriend in for a proper kiss.
"What was that for?" The songwriter asks once they separate.
The model shrugs again, looking at her girlfriend with that same tender stare. "Because you're beautiful."
Taylor's breath hitches, her cheeks flushing at the sweet words and adoring stare being directed at her. She shakes her head and forces herself to look away, her mind at war with itself. She wants to accept the compliment because she knows Karlie is nothing but sincere, but the little dark cloud in her mind is fighting with her, reminding her she's nothing special and telling her she's nothing compared to the gorgeous woman before her.
Taylor's startled out of her thoughts by soft gentle hands cupping the side of her face. She looks up to find a look of concern written all across the model's face. She feels a thumb carefully swipe away a tear she hadn't even realized had formed. Then there are soft lips brushing the same spot the tear had been. Those lips then move to her other cheek, then the tip of her nose, and as they finally reach her forehead, she closes her eyes, setting free a new trail of tears.
Karlie's arm wraps around her upper back while the other cradles the back of her head, the model pulling the songwriter into her chest. She kisses the top of Taylor's head, holding her close as she whispers "So damn beautiful."
It's overwhelming because there's so much she wants to say. She wants to be able to tell Karlie how she feels about her. She would love to shout it from the rooftops and tell every single person she knows that she's absolutely in love with this incredible woman. But for whatever reason, she can't. And it's really starting to mess with her head.
She loves Karlie. That's something she's known for a long time now. And there have been so many moments since she realized it that have made her fall even more in love with the model. It's just that voice in her head; the one telling her she'll never be worth it. The songwriter has gotten so used to believing she doesn't deserve love and happiness. She accepted that it was something that just wasn't going to happen for her.
And then she met Karlie. This incredible woman that seemingly walked into her life out of nowhere. They had mutual friends, and yet they never met. And even once they had met, Taylor never would have thought she'd end up in a relationship with her. How could she have predicted she'd find this woman who treats her better than anyone she's ever been with before? This woman who is so sweet, and caring, and protective of her in a way she's never known. It all just seems too good to be true.
The blonde has finally calmed down and she sniffles as she picks her head up, attempting to carefully wipe her tears without smearing her makeup. Karlie's hands once again are on her face, helping her wipe them away.
"I should probably finish getting ready so we can go." Taylor sniffles, cracking a small watery smile. "I feel like Cara's the kind of person who would make inappropriate jokes about why we're late."
Karlie chuckles, relieved to see a smile back on her girlfriend's face. She lowers her hands until they're linked with the blonde's. "That's probably true. But it's okay if we're late. Cara never shows up on time any way."
The songwriter nods, glancing down at her finger that has makeup smudges on it. "I might need more than a minute to fix all this." She jokes, gesturing to her face.
The model raises the hand that was still holding Taylor's, bringing it to her lips and kissing the back of it. "Take your time." She smiles softly at her, squeezing her hand before finally letting go. The songwriter steps back, flashing her girlfriend a smile before turning around and heading back upstairs so she can finish getting ready.
*********************************************************************
Once the cab pulled up to the club, the first thing Taylor noticed was the amount of bouncers and security guys lined up outside doing crowd control. There was a line wrapped around the street, not to mention the amount of paparazzi she could see; their cameras flashing wildly as they tried to catch a glimpse of the party guests. She knew with it being Cara's birthday that it would be a high profile event, but she was still surprised by the actual amount. After everything that happened with Selena's birthday, she wasn't sure how the night was going to turn out.
Karlie easily reads the blonde's expression, wrapping her arm around her girlfriend's lower back as she guides them towards one of the side entrances. "Cara rented out the entire club for this, so it'll be pretty low key. They even hired extra security to make sure no one gets in unless Cara okayed it."
The songwriter nods her head, wondering if her girlfriend had anything to do with the added level of security. She wouldn't put it past Karlie to have hired them. She also wondered what it must have cost Cara to have this event. Renting out the club on a Saturday night, plus all this extra security? It couldn't have been cheap. Not that money was necessarily an issue for a supermodel; it just seemed like a lot.
The girls are stopped by the 2 guys manning the side door. "Name?" The one holding the clipboard asked while the other guy just stood there with his arms crossed so tightly his forearm muscles were bulging.
The model doesn't seem phased by his gruff demeanor. "Karlie Kloss." She says easily, before continuing, "I don't know if it says plus one, or if Cara put my girlfriend's name on there."
"What's her name?" He says without looking up.
"Taylor Swift."
He finds their names fairly quickly, nodding his head so the other guy moves aside, letting the two in. "You ladies enjoy the party."
Karlie smiles politely at the men, nodding her head as they pass. "Thank you."
Once inside, the girls follow the sound of the thumping bass and easily make their way to the main room where everyone was gathered. The dancefloor was completely jam packed with people; lights flashing in time with the beats, and there were booths and sections designated specifically for larger parties, most of which were already filled.
Karlie lowers her hand to the songwriter's waist, tilting her head down to be heard over the music. "You want a drink?"
Taylor nods, grabbing tightly onto the model's hand as Karlie leads them over to the bar, easily slipping into the packed area to grab the bartender's attention. "What can I get for you ladies?" He asks, clearing some empty glasses off the bar top.
Karlie glances at the songwriter, silently asking her what she wants to which the songwriter simply shrugs her shoulders, smiling at her girlfriend. "Surprise me."
Karlie turns around with a grin and orders two whiskey sours; the bartender retreating to make their drinks.
"Whiskey sour? Isn't whiskey already kind of sour?"
Karlie smiles, slightly shrugging her shoulders. "Just try it. it's got a little bit of sweetness to it as well."
The blonde scrunches her nose, making the model laugh. "If you don't end up liking it, I'll drink it and we can order you something else." Karlie offers, kissing the top of her girlfriend's head. Taylor doesn't say anything, just sighs and leans into Karlie's side, waiting for their order.
The bartender comes back and slides the two drinks over. "2 whiskey sours. Is there anything else I can get for you?"
The model shakes her head and hands over her card. "Did you want me to run it through, or open a tab?" He asks.
"Start a tab please." She says, handing a drink to the songwriter. "Oh, and can I get a glass of water too please?" She adds; the bartender nodding before turning around to start their tab."Take a sip. Tell me what you think."
Taylor pinches the tiny straw with her fingers, bringing the glass to her lips. She's hit by the strong whiskey flavor, but there's a distinct tartness to the drink as well. The blonde makes a face and Karlie laughs, "Not a fan?" She asks, stirring her drink with the straw.
The songwriter grimaces at the taste, licking the sour taste off her lips. "It's really sour."
The model nods in understanding, flashing the bartender a smile as he slides the water across the bar top. "Here, try mine."
"It's the same drink."
Karlie rolls her eyes, smirking knowingly at the blonde. "Just try it."
Taylor hesitates, not seeing the point, but the model just keeps smiling at her, so she relents; taking a tentative sip.
"Well?"
"It's not bad." The songwriter admits; getting used to the sweet and sour mix of the drink. "Yours is definitely sweeter than mine."
"That's because I mixed mine first." Karlie laughs, handing her girlfriend the glass of water she knew would be needed. "Do you want mine? Or do you want me to get you something else?"
Taylor shakes her head before taking a sip of water, grateful to rinse away some of the tartness. "This is fine."
The model nods, pushing off the bar to see if they could find anyone Taylor might know. Karlie scans the crowd for a moment until she spots a familiar face and gently tugs on the songwriter's hand, gesturing for her to follow.
Taylor looks over her girlfriend's shoulder and surprisingly recognizes both people sitting at the booth Karlie was leading them to. Cara happened to spot them first and quickly stands up on the booth shouting "Karlie!!!" before jumping down and taking off into a running leap into the model's arms.
Taylor chuckles as she watches her girlfriend's drink slosh around from the force of the hug, Karlie laughing as she effortlessly holds the birthday girl who had clearly been drinking for a while as she mumbled and slurred how excited she was to see her friend.
Martha had also stood from the table, smiling as she embraced the songwriter in a quick hug. "It's good to see you."
"It's nice to see you too."
"Here, let me help you with those." Martha offers, setting the drinks on the table.
"Thanks." Taylor smiles gratefully at the woman, both girls turning to watch Karlie deal with drunk Cara.
Karlie put the Brit down and before Taylor had time to even react, Cara had thrown herself at the songwriter, her arms clinging around the poor girl's neck as Taylor barely managed to keep both of them from falling over.
"Tay Tay! I'm so glad you're here!" Cara yelled, the songwriter flinching at the girl's close proximity to her poor ears. "Thanks for inviting me." Taylor says at a much more respectable tone, patting the girl's back as Cara finally put her feet back on the ground. The Brit happily bounces back to her seat as Martha and Karlie hug each other before sliding into the booth; Karlie and Taylor on one side while Cara was sprawled out in the middle, and Martha on the other end. A short while later, Behati, Gigi, and Lily showed up, filling up their little booth to the point Karlie decided to pull the songwriter into her lap to make room, though that wasn't the only reason.
As the night went on, people were constantly coming over to their booth to say hi to Cara and to talk to the other women about work and to simply catch up. Taylor even got pulled into conversations, people wanting to know how she knew Cara, many asking if she was dating Karlie, which then moved the conversation to people wanting to know all about their relationship.
Karlie was really good about answering their questions without revealing too much, and Taylor was incredibly grateful to have the girl by her side. It was a little overwhelming having so many people come up and ask about their relationship. Even though she knew Karlie knew all these people, most of them were still strangers to her. The model made sure to check on her every so often, making sure she was still enjoying herself and always asking if she needed anything.
At some point, after Cara had gotten annoyed by how mushy and cute Taylor and Karlie were with each other, the Brit demanded the two had to be separated. So Martha, Behati, Gigi, and Lily all decided to pull Taylor out on the dancefloor, while Cara demanded Karlie take a birthday shot with her.
The shorter girl flagged down a waitress and ordered two shots, turning around to find her friend smiling dopily as she watched her girlfriend on the dancefloor. "Can you please stop staring at her for like, 10 seconds?"
Karlie turns to glare at her friend. "I'm not staring."
"Really?" Cara laughs in disbelief. "I'm pretty sure your eyes have been on her like 98% of the night. Even when people are talking to you, you glance back at her or you're holding her hand, or touching her leg. And when it's just the wo of you, you're either looking at her with raging heart eyes, or you're doing some kind of sappy cute shit. And the second you're separated, you look like a lost puppy."
"I do not."
"You really do babe. It's borderline obsessive."
Karlie rolls her eyes. "You're so dramatic. I'm not that bad."
"You are." Cara insists, nodding her head towards where their friends are all gathered on the dancefloor. "Look, she's fine."
The model turns her head and sees the songwriter smiling and laughing with Lily and the girls. It really makes her happy to see her girlfriend so happy and at ease with her friends. It actually helps ease some of the tension she's unknowingly been feeling all night. She's easily reminded of the events that occurred at Selena's party and she really didn't want a repeat.
"You know Lily wouldn't let anything happen to her."
Karlie turns around and sighs. "I know. It's not even that I was worried about her being left with the girls, it's just... I don't know."
"No, no, no. Come on. Don't do that. Tell me what's going on."
The waitress comes over and sets their shots on the table, providing the model with time to gather her thoughts.
"I just worry about her."
The Brit waits patiently, knowing her friend needed time to work through what she wanted to say.
"Everything is so much more complicated these days, you know? With the extra media attention, and the paparazzi and everything. People pay so much more attention now than they used to and it's frustrating because it's honestly none of their business."
Cara opens her mouth to chime in, but Karlie keeps going.
"Why does it matter to anyone who I date or who I'm friends with? How does that affect them in any way? Why do they suddenly need to know everything about my private life when a few years ago, no one cared? It's just stupid. And I guess if I was dating someone famous, I could see why people would care, but even then, it's none of their business. I don't get why everyone thinks they're entitled to know every little thing about me or who I'm with."
Cara nods sympathetically, frankly at a loss for words because she agrees. "People are curious. They feel more invested now I guess. Social media makes us more connected that ever."
"I know." Karlie sighs. "And don't get me wrong, I love being able to talk to my fans and connect through social media. It's great because it gives me a platform to communicate with people I normally wouldn't get the opportunity to. But it just feels like people forget that not everything needs to be talked about. Some things should be kept private."
"It's a fine line and some people don't know the difference. They see our posts and follow our careers and think they know us. They become invested in the image of our public personas and I think people just get so caught up with it that they forget that there's a real person behind it all. They build up this image of us and when they see that personified through magazines and Instagram and everything, they forget that we're people too. They forget that we have good days and bad days just like them. They don't realize that we see some of the nasty comments people leave and that if affects us the way someone saying those things to them would hurt them. They forget that we have friends, and family, and loved ones. People just forget, you know."
"Yeah." Karlie mumbles, tracing the sides of the still full shot glass in front of her. "I guess my biggest worry is that people are going to talk about things that they don't understand. They're going to say things about Taylor or say things about our relationship that are so ridiculous, and I just don't want that for her. She's been through so many things that have made her doubt herself and feel insecure and I think I'm finally starting to get through to her and get her to believe that those things aren't true. I just don't want some dumb comment someone says on an Instagram post or for a magazine to write something hurtful or completely untrue about her in an article that will send her straight back to her shell. I don't want her to go through any of that, especially because of me."
"I understand. But I'm pretty sure by now she's realized this is something she's going to have to deal with. If it was an issue, I don't think she'd still be here."
"But that's the thing Cara. She shouldn't have to get used to this. She shouldn't have to deal with people following her or having strangers write hurtful comments on her stuff just because she's dating me." Karlie huffs, running her hand through her hair in frustration. "I've gotten used to it because I know it comes with the job, but even I've gotten frustrated lately with all the extra attention. I can't even imagine what it's like for her."
"Karlie," The shorter woman sighs. "I think you're putting way too much blame on yourself for this. It's not like you asked for the extra attention. She's got to understand that."
"I know she does. But I just hate that she even has to just because she's with me now. She's been friends with Lily and Selena and other famous people for years, and they've all managed to keep her out of it. But now she's dating me, and suddenly she's on the cover of gossip magazines and being hounded by paparazzi, and why? Simply because she's my girlfriend."
"Hey. This isn't your fault." Cara coos, scooting closer to her friend, throwing an arm around her shoulder. "As much as you want to, you can't blame yourself for this."
"I should be able to protect her though. She doesn't deserve any of this."
"I know babe. Neither of you do." Cara agrees. "I know how fiercely protective you are of the people you love. And I know how you get caught up in worrying about everyone except yourself. Have you tried talking to her about all this?"
"Kind of." Karlie shrugs. "I just don't want to burden her with all this, you know? It's my problem, and I know she'd feel terrible if she knew how much this was stressing me out and everything."
"You shouldn't keep this from her love. You should be able to talk to her about all this and maybe she can help ease some of your worries. Isn't that kind of a big thing in relationships? Being open and communicating and talking about what's going on?"
"I know." The green eyed model sighs. "I just don't want her worrying about me."
"She probably does worry, especially when she can see that there's something you're keeping from her. It can't just be one sided. You can't be there for her with everything and then shut her out and not give her a chance to be there to help you."
Karlie cracks a smile. "When did you become a relationship expert?"
"Psh. I've always been the wise one." Cara scoffs, observing the way her friend's eyes move back across the room, obviously looking for the songwriter. She watches the way they light up with absolute love and adoration when they finally land on their target; the immediate smile it brings to Karlie's face. "You haven't told her yet, have you?"
"Told who what?" The model distractedly asks.
"Taylor." The woman clarifies. "You haven't told her you love her."
Karlie's eyes snap to her friends, her cheeks flushing in embarrassment at being called out. She silently shakes her head no, confirming what the British woman already knew. She noticed earlier in the night that they hadn't said it, which she found surprising since they were both very obviously in love. "Why haven't you said it yet?" She asks, genuinely curious what was holding them back.
"Honestly, I just didn't want to say it too soon and scare her off, you know? I don't want her to feel forced to say it back just because I said it. Plus with the media shit storm and the paparazzi hanging over us, I didn't want to overwhelm her. You and I have both seen media coverage destroy people's relationships. That's why I've been trying so hard to keep her out of it. I want to protect our relationship from people who don't necessarily have the best intentions."
"I get it." Cara nods sympathetically. "But I still think you should tell her."
"I can't even tell you how many times I almost have. There have been so many moments where it'll just hit me out of nowhere. Sometimes she'll just be cutting up food and making us dinner, or I'll see her arguing with her cats, or we'll just be watching tv together or whatever and I find myself just completely enamored with her. Like when she snorts at something she thinks is funny, and then how quickly she blushes because she's so embarrassed that I heard her. Or when she's been working on something for hours and she looks so defeated and exhausted, but then she gets this look in her eyes and you can honestly see them sparkle when it all starts coming together."
Karlie shakes her head and sighs before continuing.
"But then there's these times when I'll compliment her and I can see it in her eyes that she doesn't believe it. She gets this look like she's waiting for me to make fun of her and take it all back, or like she's waiting for the moment I'm going to walk away and disappear on her. And it breaks my heart because she still doesn't believe me when I tell her how amazing she is, or when I tell her she's beautiful. It's so hard for her to accept that I genuinely do care about her and that I actually want to be there for her. She thinks she's so messed up, and damaged, and unlovable, and that I can do so much better, but she just doesn't see what I see. And I think that's what honestly makes this all so hard because loving her is so damn easy, but I don't know how to get her to believe it."
Cara squeezes her friend's hand, offering a warm smile. "You get her to believe it by finally being the one person that stays. You can make her feel it by holding her hand and hugging her after a shitty day. By showing up and surprising her, or by always treating her right. You make her feel it when you tell her how beautiful she is or texting her randomly to tell her you miss her, or by telling her how much you love her, and letting her know how important she is to you. You make her see it by being open and honest with her, always. You make her believe it by being patient and loving her until she has no choice but to believe it's true."
Karlie is completely stunned by the amazing touching advice her friend was giving her. Cara may be a playful sarcastic person, but one thing Karlie has always known is that the girl has a huge heart. She pulls her friend in for a hug. "Thanks Cara."
"Of course. You know how much I ship you guys." She says, making the model laugh. "Now, let's take this shot before I say anything else really embarrassing."
Karlie pulls back with a chuckle, wiping the wetness from the corners of her eyes. She grabs her glass and hold it in front of her. "Happy Birthday Cara."
"Thanks babe." Cara says, clinking her glass to Karlie's as both girls drop it on the table before downing the shot. "Woo." She whoops, sliding her empty glass across the table. "Alright KK. Get your ass up." The shorter one demands, practically shoving the green eyed model out of the booth. "Go dance with your girl."
Karlie turns around and looks confusedly at the Brit. "You're not coming?"
"I'm gonna get another drink first."
Karlie hesitates, unsure whether or not she should leave the birthday girl. Cara sighs in exasperation, rolling her eyes at the tall woman's stubborn nature. "Go on." She encourages with a smile. "I'll meet up with you guys in a minute."
Karlie flashes her friend a smile before heading towards the dancefloor, easily locating her girlfriend who was standing beside Lily; both women watching Martha, Behati, and Gigi having some sort of mock dance battle. "Hey beautiful." She whispers, alerting the blonde of her presence before slipping her arms around her waist from behind, lightly squeezing her sides as her chin settles on narrow shoulders.
Taylor instantly relaxes into the familiar hold. "Hey you." She whispers back, leaning into the model's lean frame; trailing her fingers along her girlfriend's toned arms. "I missed you."
Karlie tilts her head, kissing the songwriter's neck in a silent apology. "I missed you too." She admits, smiling as Taylor aimlessly plays with her fingers. She turns her hands slightly, the blonde's hands stilling as they instantly slip into hers, locking together with a squeeze as they settle against the songwriter's stomach.
It's nights like this that make Karlie realize how lucky she is. She's put in a lot of hard work and finally has her dream job. She's made lots of great friends over the years, and she's grateful to have those close relationships. And she gets to enjoy all of it with this incredible woman currently wrapped up in her arms.
It's moments like this that she cherishes more than anything; being surrounded by people she loves. It's not the shows and the glitz and glamour of this lifestyle. It's not the traveling and the crazy after parties. It's watching her friends dancing ridiculously with each other, smiling and laughing without a care in the world. It's watching Cara rush the dancefloor to bust out a move, not caring that she nearly exposes herself to the crowded room. It's the smirk she catches on Lily's lips when she leans down to whisper something in the songwriter's ear that makes her burst out in laughter; the way her heart beat races upon hearing that beautiful sound. It's the familiar butterflies that flutter in her stomach when Taylor leans against her, or when she ever so slightly tightens her hold; pulling herself closer. It's when she looks into her favorite blue eyes and sees the love and happiness she feels reflecting back at her.
It's moments like this, when she can't help but think of what her future with this woman would be like. If what she feels now is any indication of what their future could be like, she would love nothing more than to have a lifetime of moments just like this.