And, because the other chapter was so dang short --- Here's a much LONGER chapter for you ;)
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Ashley didn't know what she was thinking, but she needed an escape. She needed to talk to someone who was outside her normal circle of acquaintances. Someone who – in a way – would understand her point of view in her time of need and who had no need or desire in sharing what she had on her mind with others. She forced her beating heart to calm down as she entered the prison doors.
"Maybe this was a bad idea." She spoke under her breath, but she knew that she really didn't have a choice. Her life was heading nowhere but to destruction. She needed a new outlook on life. Her nerves felt all bunched up with all of the cops floating around her. She felt out of place and uncomfortable. Slowly and hesitantly, she weaved her way up to the front counter. She quickly hid her fear, a mask of respect quickly taking its place. She waited for the officer to look up at her.
"What can I do for you, ma'am?" He asked her calmly and peaceably.
"I'd like to talk to someone that's being held here, if I could." She said as purely and innocently as she could.
"What's his name?" He asked her patiently as he became ready to type the name into the computer system.
"Dominick di'Liardo." She did her best to pronounce his name as eloquently as possibly. She had the disadvantage of not having the correct accent to give the name the right vocalization as it needed, but she tried anyway.
The officer typed in the name. "Why do you want to see him?" He asked nonchalantly to her.
"To talk to him." She said quietly, but the hairs on the back of her neck rose and butterflies flew around her stomach. Her nerves were bunching up again too.
"About what?" He looked up at her.
Ashley was at a loss for words. "I... I don't know." She looked down at her hands on the counter. Her face revealed her perplexity of why she was there. Why can't he just let me go in and talk to him now? Why all these questions?
"Umm... okay." The officer replied. He seemed unsure of what to say. He quickly regained his composure and pointed to a door that opened up. "Follow that officer and he'll take you to where you need to go."
Ashley looked up at the officer by the door and nodded her head. "Okay." She looked back at the officer of whom she had been talking to. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." He smiled at her before resuming his paperwork.
Ashley glanced at the ground and walked toward the door. She walked through it as she followed the officer. The door coldly slammed shut behind her. The sound sent a shiver down her spine and a fear through her mind. She didn't like being in a prison. It felt cold and lifeless to her and, quite frankly, it scared her.
The officer led Ashley through several doors on their way to the room he was taking her too.
"Right this way, ma'am." He told her as they rounded a corner. He pointed to a doorway. "Go to the fourth space down." He directed her.
Ashley looked into a room of many windows, phones, and dividers. It didn't seem all that private to her, but she was too desperate to walk away. "Thank you." She mumbled quietly her appreciation. Self-consciously, she walked down the isle to the fourth divided off window. She slid quietly into the chair and placed her head in her hands. Her elbows rested on the little slab of a counter that she had in front of her. Time ticked by faster than she had anticipated. A noise pulled Ashley's head up and out of her hands.
Dom stared at her from his position on the other side of the glass. He watched her grab the phone to talk to him, but he didn't do the same. He watched her wait for him. She had rested her left temple against the fist of her left hand with the phone placed loosely against her right ear. He finally picked up the phone. "You look like a druggie sitting like that." He commented coolly.
"You get like that when you're around them frequently." Ashley shot back at him.
"Why are you here?" His voice revealed some agitation.
"Because I want to talk to you." Ashley replied rather glumly.
"What makes you think that I wanna talk to you?" He watched her expression carefully.
Ashley wasn't sure how to reply to his question. She kind of just picked him. It wasn't like she knew him all that well. In fact, she really knew nothing about who he was as a person, but she did know his reputation well. He had no reason to talk to her. She pretty much put him in that cell. Not to mention she was from a rival gang. "I don't know. I mean, you have no reason to want to talk to me. I just needed someone to talk to. You know that there aren't many that I can talk to in our choice of lifestyle." Ashley looked point blank at him.
"Why me?" He wanted to know. "Out of everyone in this world, why did you choose me?" He kept his words slow and precise.
Without thinking, Ashley spat out an answer. "Because I can trust you." The answer caught her by surprise. Her eyes showed her bewilderment as she quickly looked down to hide her confusion.
Dom seemed surprised by her answer as well. He mulled it over in his mind, but couldn't really make sense of it. "You're responsible for putting me in here and you still think that you can trust me?"
"It may sound weird, but yes, I do think that I can trust you. You have no reason to tell anyone what I share with you and you understand a bit of what I'm going through. I know you understand me."
"I'm not so convinced." He scoffed.
"If you don't want a visitor then I'll go and I'll try to leave you alone, but if you're willing to listen to me and help me out then tell me now or I'll go and find someone else." The no-nonsense part of Ashley kicked in. She was desperate for someone to talk to, but if she wasn't going to be wanted or appreciated then she wasn't going to waste her time either.
"You don't have anyone else do you?" He asked her, calling out her bluff as he pondered in his mind what he had to lose in the matter.
Ashley shook her head slowly and dropped her gaze. "Cam's dead."
Dom stared at her for a moment. It took him a second to regain his composure. "I'm sorry, Ash. How'd it happen?"
She gruffly wiped a tear threatening to fall. "How do you think it happened?"
He sighed. He could guess what happened. "You okay?"
She shrugged. "I lost my best friend, Dom. I need someone to talk to."
He gave her a small smile. "I'll listen." He told her calmly and patiently. "It's not like I have much else to do." Who knew, maybe her information was relevant for where he worked.
Ashley smiled a little bit at his irony. "No, I guess not. How much longer do you have in here?"
"About a month I guess. I don't really keep track of it much. I'm on parole for sixty days after that. Nothing that I can't handle." He shrugged, but his eyes never moved as he continued to watch her. "You look pale." He commented. "You scared?"
Ashley stared at him for a brief moment before responding. "I don't like this place. I feel so confined... So unfree." Ashley paused as a realization of how she normally felt dawned upon her. "I guess I always feel like that... especially now more than in the past, but it feels like it smothers me more while I'm in here. Trent keeps me so close to him now and I think that's why I feel like this. It's like he doesn't trust me! I've done almost everything that he's ever asked for since they accepted me in, yet I'm still treated as an outsider! It's not fair and it's not right!" Ashley let out some of what she was thinking and feeling unexpectedly.
"You're female. What do you expect? Trent's claimed you and to him, you're his property. You have no rights and he wants you to be as close to him as possible. He doesn't want you to drift away and find another man or another lifestyle." Dominick said simply. "Cameo kept him in check. You don't have that anymore."
"But I'm not his! I do not desire to be his!" Ashley said angrily. "Why does he think that he has a right to call me his?"
"It's his gang. He let you in, so, therefore, he has the right to claim you." He replied to her question.
"How do I make him know that I'm not his property?" Ashley was angered by the thought.
"There's a good question." Dominick pondered it over. "Trent's possessive. If he can't have something then nobody around him will either. Do you get what I'm saying?" He watched her expression change rather rapidly.
Ashley's eyes jumped up at him. She didn't like his answer, but understood it. "So I have to play along with his fantasy in order to stay alive?"
"You already know the answer to that one." He told her as he leaned against the counter in front of him. "The only way to get him to back-off a little bit is to assert your dominance in the matter. If you can earn his respect as a person, then you'll be able to do something with that. He doesn't respect you. He sees you as a woman..."
"But that's what I am, Dom." She interrupted him.
"Let me finish." He told her firmly.
Ashley nodded her head and waited for him to continue.
"When I say woman, I mean it being under a man. You're not an equal to him. You're either a play toy or a thorn in his side." He told her smoothly.
"How do I prove that I'm an equal with him?" Ashley wanted to know his opinion on the matter. She had a bit of an idea on how to do so, but she just wanted a bit more insight on the topic. She had never thought about asking Cam about this. She had had no reason to.
"Do stuff the guys do. Don't let him belittle you... especially in front of everyone else, but also use discretion. Think everything through carefully before you make a move – any move. If you don't, it could cost you dearly." He spoke clearly and quickly. "Trent's your leader so show him respect and honor, but do not bow down to him. Whatever you do do not get into a relationship with him in any form. Not only does it drop you down the food chain, but it can set you up for problems later on. That all goes for anyone else in your gang. They're your fellow co-workers; not friends and definitely not any love interests. They're not to be trusted. As soon as you drop your guard with any of them, the sooner you'll have a bullet in the back of your brain."
Ashley nodded in understanding. She absorbed all the information and stored it away for future remembrance. "How should I react if he threatens me or belittles me in front of people?"
"If you two aren't alone, then shrug it off and walk away. Bring it back up when you're able to control the situation without others listening. Choose your words and attitude carefully and wisely and don't back down unless the situation asks for it. Rarely do you argue anything out in front of witnesses, unless it's something that they need to hear or you have no choice in the matter. Not only can it downgrade you, but it's also a lack of respect." His eyes remained intensely locked on hers.
Ashley nodded her head in understanding. "What should I do if he stops playing around and actually tries to..." Ashley wasn't sure what to say exactly. "...you know..." She couldn't spit the word out.
"Rape you?" Dom had no problem in saying the word. This was not the time to lightly play with the subject. "Don't let it happen. If you have to make a stand for yourself, then that is the time to do so with no hesitation." He scooted closer to the window. "That is the time, Ash, to make your stand. If you have to, do not hesitate in killing him."
Ashley looked down at the countertop and back up at Dom. She nodded her head. "I won't."
"You need to go now. They will, with no doubt, question where you have been if you stay any longer." Parts of Dom began to worry for Ash. He didn't want to see her get hurt. He never wanted to see her get hurt, but with being a part of a rival gang that couldn't be made known. She did anger him a lot when they crossed paths out in the streets, but he knew, in a way, that was how their job was. Regardless of that, he was beginning to want to protect her in spite of her being part of the reason why he was in that hellhole.
"Why are you helping me?" Curiosity danced around in Ashley's murky brown eyes. Her pupils dashed back and forth between his eyes. She waited for an answer with no expectations as to what he was going to say. It had been a very long time since someone had tried to help her without having a reason for themselves. She didn't really care what Dom's reason was, but she was coming to the point of being tired of running and not being able to trust someone. Physically, she was still in the same town that she had been in for years, but her mind always tried to escape.
Dom could see the exhaustion in Ashley's eyes. He knew the feeling. He knew much of what the young woman was going through. He didn't want to see her go down the path that he had traveled. It was time to be done. "You need to leave now, Ash." He repeated once again to her.
Ashley couldn't find the words to argue with him. She had a peace with his answer regardless of how little it answered her own question. She raised her body from the chair slowly and began to turn away. She turned back and grabbed the phone once again that she had set down. "Can I come back?" There was desperation in her question. It was a plea for protection; a desire for a friend that she hadn't dared have in her life for the sake of their protection.
"It's not safe for you to come back." Dom hated himself for having to say that to her. The feeling surprised him, but he had an overbearing desire to protect her. He enjoyed seeing her, even if it usually was under bad situations.
"I don't care. I can't keep doing this." Ashley's voice cracked. Tears lined her eyes as she tried to change his mind. She just wanted a friend. "I need someone to talk too. I can't do this alone anymore." Her chin quivered. She had been strong for so very long that this sudden rush of emotions caught her off-guard. She didn't know what she'd do if he denied her the right of talking to him.
Dom watched her closely. "If you need somewhere safe to get away, go to 312 Peacock Avenue. There's a sketchy apartment building there. Go to Room 7 and let yourself in."
"Is there a key?" Ashley wanted to know. "Is it locked?"
"It's a sketchy neighborhood, of course it's locked." Dom let a small smile play with the corner of his mouth. "I assume that you know how to pick a lock?"
Ashley hesitated, then nodded her head. "A key would be easier." She commented, but played close attention to him.
"Use your skills and let yourself in. You can stay there as long as you need to." He told her. It wasn't much protection, but it was all that he could offer right now.
"You didn't answer my question..." She hesitated, but wanted an answer from him.
"It's your life, Ash, and your decision." He told her and hung up the phone. A guard came over to lead him away. He knew that if he stayed that she would keep trying to talk to him. It wasn't safe for her.
Slowly, Ashley hung up the phone. She walked out of the room. She was barely able to focus on the people around her – both cops and criminals alike. She was in a daze as the thoughts of everything swirled around in her head. She thought about the officer that had been trying to help her. Maybe it was time that she started to help him. The thought terrified her. There were so many things that she could be convicted of. She didn't know if she could handle being in prison. She swallowed hard. If Trent knew what she was thinking about... She shuddered at the thought.
Ashley breathed slowly in and out as she signed her way out of the place that reminded her of all of her fears. She could feel the officer staring at her. She hoped that he wouldn't see the little bit of sweat beading up near her hairline. "Thank you again." She spoke quickly, hoping that he wouldn't try to talk to her more. To her relief, he just nodded at her and told her to have a great day. She forced herself to walk calmly and slowly out of the building and not race to the freedom outside. She paused when she saw a lost and found bin near the door. There was a cap and some scratched up sunglasses lying in among the other items people had either accidentally or purposely forgot. She snatched the cap and some sunglasses and bolted through the door.
Oomph! Was all that managed to come out of her mouth as she ran into someone trying to come in. She had been so focused on blowing off her new items that she hadn't looked at who was coming her way.
"Ashley?" The officer watched the girl freeze up. He could tell by her body language that she was thinking about bolting. He grabbed her arm to stop her quickly. "What are you doing here?"
Ashley swallowed hard. Her body tensed under the firm grasp on her arm. She hated the feel. It reminded her of how her foster parents sometimes grabbed her, and it was never for a good reason.
"Please let go of my arm." Ashley wouldn't make eye contact with him until she was released. Her teeth were gritted as tightly together as possible.
"I'm sorry, I should have known better. Just habit I guess." The officer said as he quickly released her arm. It had been intentional, but no need to scare her before getting to talk to her. He wondered if she had been arrested and just released or if she had been visiting someone. If she had been visiting someone, who was it? The cop in him was jumping out quickly.
Ashley looked up at him from a step below. Her eyes could be seen from behind the big, rounded sunglasses. They carried a scared, yet hard look that she couldn't shake away. "What do you want?" She was scared to put down her guard and be nice. She had been trying to shake friendliness for a long time. It was a protection method and the only way that she knew she could be safe. "Do you have another body for me to ID?" The conviction and pain radiated in her voice.
Some sympathy could be heard in his voice."I just was surprised to see you is all. Are you okay?" He asked gently. He genuinely wanted to know how the girl was. He'd been watching out for her for a long time and wasn't about to stop. He'd do as much as he could to protect her. To get her out of the life that she was in. He blamed himself for not getting involved in her life more before she got involved with Trent. Maybe she'd be in college and safe right now if he'd done more.
Ashley stared at him. She didn't know if he was being genuine. "Why do you ask me that? Nobody asks me if I'm okay. Why would you?" A little anger echoed in her voice. She couldn't hold that back. Part of her was angry because she wasn't around people ever that cared how she was. She wasn't particularly angry with him, well, maybe a little bit.
"Because I want to know if you're okay. Why would I ask that if I didn't want to know?" He watched her carefully. "Contrary to what you believe, there really are good people in this world, Ashley." He turned to walk back into the station, realizing that there was nothing in her that wanted to talk to him.
Ashley stopped herself from throwing out an answer to his previous question. She thought it best to walk away. She slowly backed down the steps and spun around to walk away. She quickened her pace to get away from the area she was in. She needed to get back to her neighborhood. She kept her head low and the cap covering her face. Nerves ran through her spine as she tried to keep herself calm. She wasn't sure what scared her more – being in the jail or walking back to her neighborhood, hoping not to be caught by either her gang or a rival gang. Neither options would be ideal and both would end in pain or death.
She looked behind her to make sure that there were no followers. She was relieved to see none as she took a hard left. She made sure to go a few streets down before taking a hard right. She followed that until she was back in her neighborhood. She stuck to shadows as she slowly worked her way back to the area that she least wanted to be at. She could see the guys that she was with sitting around near the place where she had left most of them. Before she had a chance to make it to them, a hand grabbed her arm and jerked her behind the building. She was shoved into the wall hard and a forearm pinned her against it.
"Where have you been, Ashley?" Trent eyed her up. His strong arms didn't budge to release the pressure upon her.
Ashley tried to push away from him, but it was to no avail. "Walking around. Now let me go, Trent." She growled at him. A panic was welling up inside of her. She was beginning to feel confined and that terrified her.
"I want to know where." His eyes were narrow little slits as he weighed out every move she made. He doubted that she'd tell him the truth, but was willing to bet differently depending on how she reacted to him. He was once again noticing the firmness of her body.
Ashley glared at him and tried pushing herself free. "I don't have to tell you a thing!" She grunted her frustration. "Get off of me!"
Trent looked down at her body and back up at her. "You want me to get off of you?" He looked at her with a pleasantly surprised look. "I'm not even on you yet." He said calmly, but an excitement filled his eyes.
"That's not what I meant!" Ashley struggled more to break free. She stopped suddenly though and looked at him carefully. A new fear started to swallow her up. "What do you mean by that?" She thought about his emphasis on how he said yet. She had a terrible feeling that he was moving on to a whole new area that he should never force his desire into.
She pushed herself to quit struggling out of his grip. She allowed her body to relax and she raised her chin up. What little she remembered of her daddy, he always told her to keep eye contact with a stranger, especially a guy, and allow the object of intimidation to set in. Don't show them that you're vulnerable. Don't show them that you're weak. She pushed around those thoughts in her head. She was in this group because she needed a family. She was in this group because she was strong enough to handle it. Remembering that she was strong was all that she needed. Her breathing steadied and her nostrils flared out. Even though he was taller, she could still see into his eyes and with her chin up they sat nearly level.
Trent shifted his weight around. Why was she looking at him like that? He began to relax his grip and start backing away. His intentions hadn't been good. His mind was in the gutter, where it was most of the time. He had no reason to back down and he had no reason to be intimidated by this girl. Something was pushing him back and away from her though. He could see her irritation with him. He could also see her oddly relaxed muscles. That confused him. He was thrown by the fact that she wasn't trying to fight him off anymore. Was there something that he was missing?
"Trent." A voice called out. It was enough to pull Trent's attention away from Ashley. He pulled away from her and began walking away. He paused and looked back at her for a moment. He pulled his gaze away quickly. He didn't want her to see his confusion as to why he was walking away from her so quickly. He'd wanted a chance to get in her pants for quite some time and now he was almost running away from her. His actions caught himself by surprise and he had no idea why his ambitions changed on their own.
Ashley waited until he was out of sight before letting her breath out. She hadn't realized that she had been holding it. Her heart was beating a mile a minute and the fear that she had been feeling before was slowly abating. She pushed her fingers through her hair and looked back to where Trent had been walking around the corner just to make sure that he was still gone. She tried to slow her nervous breathing down. It had been just another close call. It scared Ashley that that was all that she now thought of them. Every second that she wasn't forced into something that she didn't agree with or didn't want to do was another second that made her lose faith in herself. That couldn't be tolerated.
She walked away from the spot that she was standing in. She didn't want to be anywhere near Trent. She walked in the opposite direction. She pulled her hair up into a messy pile on top of her head with a ponytail that she had on her wrist. A few strands of her rich brown hair fell gently around her face. She looked back to where Trent had walked away and glared. She had nothing good to say to him and kept walking toward one of the places that they stayed at. She walked through the door and scampered up the steps to a room. She made sure that nobody was following her before entering the room and looking at a bookshelf. Carefully, she pulled out a worn-out notebook that she used as a journal. She made sure to record everything that ever happened and all the information that she could remember. Never did Ash put her name down in the makeshift journal. If it ever had been found, she didn't want to be linked to it. It had information in it that would get her killed and the book burned. Rarely did she have time to write in it, but she made sure to make that time regardless of the situation. It was her only connection to her sanity, especially now with no Cam to talk to.
As quickly as she could, Ashley jotted down everything that she could remember of her confrontation with Trent. She left out her talk with Dom and her feelings of uncertainty about everything in her life. The notebook slid off of her lap as her shoulders slumped. She ran her fingers through her hair and just left them there to rest a moment. It was like cradling her head would maybe calm her wild thoughts down. What was she thinking for wanting to get out? Did she not value life enough to realize that she would be signing her death warrant? She reached down to her notebook and flung it across the room. She bit back a scream, but couldn't hold back her fist from hitting the wall hard. A tear slid down her face as a splitting pain coursed through her already bruised hand. It was still healing from a few weeks ago. The past bruise had been deep. She slowly rubbed it, then stopped. She wanted to feel the pain. She wanted to remember that that was all that she'd feel regardless of if she stayed or left the gang.
She walked over to her notebook and picked it up. She yanked it open to the spot where she had left off. Her hand hurt as she pushed down as hard as she could and scribbled down as fast as she could 'I'm suffocating!!!'
She slammed the notebook shut and shoved it back into its hiding place. Her feet walked very precisely with no shuffling even a thought. Her breathing was fast paced as she thought about the events that had brought her to this point. Maybe she should talk to the cop. The thoughts floated heavily through her mind. She needed to stay busy. Thinking about these things would drive her beyond crazy and she needed her mind kept clear.
She began to leave the small room. She heard a shuffling noise behind her. Without thinking she pulled her Colt 38 Detective Special out and shoved the unsuspecting individual into the wall. She pulled the gun up into his throat.
"Whoa whoa whoa!" Stan held his hands up. "Ash, it's just me!"
Ashley's boxy face outlined its curves in the dim lighting as the seriousness of the situation unveiled itself through her eyes. She didn't breathe a word.
"Why the viper eyes, Ash?" He asked her while trying to slow his breathing down. He could see nothing but anger and a reason to kill in her eyes. He understood partly why. He had seen what Trent had done to her. He had seen the way his eyes had been trying to undress her and his hands had been thinking about following suit.
"What did you see?" She asked sharply. She was prepared to kill him then and there if she needed to. She wasn't going to risk her life to save this man. He was just like the rest.
Stan was confused. She didn't seem like she was referring to the thing that had happened with Trent. "What are you talking about?" He could feel the 38 jamming into his neck. It honestly hurt more than he thought it would. The cold metal pinched his skin.
Ashley put a little bit more pressure on where the gun was being placed. She looked from eye to eye – looking for anything that gave the man's intensions away. She didn't see anything that made her wonder about him, but she wasn't going to run off just a feeling alone. No. Fear was a good way to get an answer.
Stan swallowed hard. "I saw what Trent did to you. I heard what he said." He watched her carefully to see if he'd have to pull her into submission if she didn't yield. He could feel the gun back away slowly from his throat. He wasn't going to risk his life in this matter. Without hesitation, he grabbed the gun and grabbed Ashley by the arm. He twisted her around and into the wall. He could feel her body flinch under the pressure.
Ashley was surprised by the sudden up rise against her. She could feel a sharp pain rising up her arm. Her face hit the wall hard. She could taste a little blood in her mouth. She bit the inside of her mouth and remembered to be strong. She struggled to break free, but she could feel that it was useless. The only time that she had felt this stuck was when she had been arrested and pinned against a squad car. Not good memories.
"Don't feel as good to be the one against the wall does it?" He asked her with slight irritation inching its way out of his voice. He was surprised to see how intense the anger was on her straight face. "What were you doing, Ash, to make you so uptight?"
Ashley didn't say anything. She tried pushing backward toward Stan. She had always been told by her mom that she had thicker bones and she had always known that they helped her with strength. That's why she could play hard with the boys. She didn't want that strength to fail her now.
"Give me something, Ashley!" Stan barked at her. "Tell me what you were just doing. You're not this touchy because I snuck up on you. There's something else. What is it?" Stan knew that he was overstepping his boundaries a lot, but now he was curious.
"Stop being like a cop!" Ashley spit out at him. She was mad. She had higher status than him. She didn't need to take this.
Stan realized that he was being like a cop. He didn't need to blow his cover. If he would ever blow his cover, the likelihood of staying alive was slim. He backed off of her. "I called Trent away from you earlier." He said over his shoulder as he walked away. He didn't need the gratification, but he did want her to know the truth. It could protect him one day.
Ashley stared after him. She knew immediately what he had been talking about. She looked down at the ground, slightly ashamed of her quick reacting. She hated what this choice of living was doing to her. She had no trust of anyone.
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Surprise, surprise! I'm sooo excited she went to see Dom! Maybe it was a bad idea. Maybe it was a good idea. I don't know, but I like it. Plus he told her where to stay safe. At least... I hope the place is safe... ;)
And Stan... tsk tsk tsk! Did it surprise you guys how fast Ash pulled a gun on him? It kind of surprised me a little I admit. But then again, with things changing, she needs to keep these guys on their toes.
Were you guys excited about a longer chapter? I know, for those of you reading on your phones, this was maybe a bit long.? But hey, it was worth it wasn't it? :)
Love you guys! <3