Austin and I arrived at the movie on time, meeting up with everyone in the lobby before we bought our tickets. As soon as I looked at Sam she new that there was something up.
"You look... happier than usual..." She analyzed. I looked at her and cocked my head and knitted my eyebrows.
"What?" I asked.
"Yeah, you have this like...glow..." She said, still trying to figure out what was different. Suddenly her eyes widened and she gasped slightly. I didn't believe in the post sex glow until that exact moment. "Oh my god." She breathed. I decided to play stupid. I didn't want her freaking out in front of everyone, and I was planning on telling her and Victoria later.
"Sam what's wrong?" I questioned playfully. She pursed her lips, and I could tell that she was about to explode. She nudged her head towards Austin, who was talking to Alex. I knew exactly what she was implying. I could feel myself blush. I decided to just tell her then, and I would explain everything later. I nodded my head slowly.
"Oh my god!" She exclaimed through giggles. I motioned her to be quiet and she just smiled and shook her head. "Your telling me everything later." She demanded.
"I will, but I'm not telling Victoria everything because I don't want to freak her out." I said. She rolled her eyes.
"She'll get over it." She joked.
We bought our tickets and made our way into the theater. I sat next to Austin and cuddled up to him as he put his arm around me. I smiled to myself. I scrolled through twitter as the previews started to play. And what I went on to find made me nauseous. Tons of Mahomies were tweeting a picture of me and Austin kissing in the restaurant earlier. No no no no. This can't be happening. I can't be the person who causes his downfall from fame. All the captions were "oh my god that's Leah!!", "Laustin is back and better than ever 😏", "thank god he ditched Mia, she was a bitch." And although it made me happy that the fans were happy, his management was going to kill him. Cheating is not a good look. And what was Mia going to think? I couldn't hurt someone like that. I instantly felt like throwing up. It was all my fault. I clicked on one of the pictures to show Austin. Better I tell him than him find out later.
"Austin," I whispered, getting his attention. He looked down at me expectantly. I held out my phone for him. And the look on his face tore me apart. He looked so concerned and scared. He looked back up at me. I could feel the tears start to sting the back of my eyes. "I'm sorry." I whispered before tears started to roll down my cheeks.
"Baby it's not your fault." He whispered while wiping the water from my face. "C'mon," he urged, motioning his head towards the exit. He held his hand out for me as he stood up. I grabbed it and got up. All our friends looked at us confused as we started to walk out.
"We'll be right back." I told Sam quietly, trying to maintain my composure.
We walked out into the hallway and sat down on a little bench. We were silent for a couple moments, not really knowing what to say to one another.
"I'm sorry." I apologized. It was all I could force out. He just shook his head.
"You have nothing to be sorry about. This is my fault. I should have been more careful." He breathed, and just by the strain in his voice I could tell that he was overwhelmed by anxiety. I felt awful. The poor thing needed to worry about his personal life affecting his career, which was the terrible reality of his occupation.
"I just don't want to be the person who ruins this all for you. You worked so hard for all that you have now and I'm pulling you down." I mumbled.
"You are not pulling me down at all. This will all blow over in a couple of weeks. Please don't worry about this babe." He urged, rubbing my back to comfort me. I leaned my head onto his shoulder and closed my eyes. He wrapped his arm around me, bringing me closer to him.
"I love you." He whispered into my hair before kissing my head.
"I love you too." I said weakly. I just wanted him to be happy, that's all.
*************************
One week later, and I was still emotionally distressed.
Austin had called his managers and what not and explained everything to them, and they understood. They also felt that it was a great form of publicity that they didn't have to plan out. Even though that bothered me a bit, it was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.
I was laying on Austin's bedroom floor staring at the ceiling. I could hear him shuffling through his closet, searching for an outfit to wear on our double date with Sam and Zach.
"What'd you get me for Christmas?" I asked abruptly, realizing that Christmas was tomorrow.
"I'm not telling you." He scoffed, then smiled at me. I playfully rolled my eyes. I was never one for surprises or guessing games.
My phone buzzed on my stomach and I picked it up to check what it was. It was a twitter notification. A Mahomie dm'd me a link to a YouTube video and said: did you see this yet? She's a bitch and a half. Team Leah 4 life.
I sighed deeply. I clicked on the link, even though I already knew I wasn't going to like it. All week, Mia had been doing publicity interviews and tv appearances. And without fail, every time she talked shit about me. Honestly, I was going to contact her personally and apologize, but she took things to a whole other level. She had no idea the bitch she was dealing with and the vicious army I had behind me. Let's just say there were way more Mahomies on team Leah than team Mia. So basically, in the new interview the Mahomie had sent me, Mia basically said that I was a whore and that this wasn't the first time I had been home wrecker. Like bitch you don't know my life. And I know for a fact Austin would never say something like that about me to her.
"You know, you should really tell Mia to stop saying this stuff about me in her interviews. It's starting to piss me off." I suggested to Austin. I looked up at him and he looked down at me and shrugged his shoulders.
"I thought you said it didn't bother you." He said.
"I mean, at first it didn't, but I don't know, I just don't appreciate her shaming me in front of thousands of people." I stuttered. I sat up so I could have a normal conversation with him.
"It's just hard because my management thinks this while 'cheating scandal' is getting us a lot of publicity. Me being with you gets me noticed and her talking shit about you gets her noticed." He explained. Did he just say what I think he said?
"So basically our relationship is just as fake as your's and Mia's?" I inquired, trying to keep my voice firm even though my chest was aching.
"That's not what I said..." He started. I cut him off.
"But that's what was implied," I snapped. He was silent. "Austin, I'm not going to keep dating you if it's only for publicity. I have better things to do with my time." My heart began to race. I never thought in a million years that I would have to have this conversation with Austin. It was heart wrenching.
"Leah, you know that I love you." Austin breathed. I got up onto my feet so that I could stand my ground.
"How do I know that? Austin, I don't know how show business works, and I actually don't want to know, but I do know that relationships are about being with another person that you trust and that is 100% real with you," I blabbed avoiding eye contact. But once my eyes met his gorgeous hazel ones, it was all over. "and I don't think I'm getting that with you." I confessed quietly. His face was instantly drained of color. He only looked that way when he was about to cry. I hated that I had managed to make him cry so many times before that I knew that.
"Baby, please hear me out. What we have is real and I've never felt this way about anyone ever. You have to look past all the bullshit and believe me." He stammered, stepping closer to me.
"I don't know if I can. And I don't know if I can keep playing this game with you. One second everything is great between us and your the sweet Texas boy I fell in love with and the next second your some fame hungry asshole. I can't be just another person to help you climb the social ladder." I argued, raising my voice.
"You're not listening to me! I would never use you in any way!" He yelled.
"I don't know that Austin! I really don't. And honestly, with the way you've been acting lately, I'm not sure if I believe a word that comes out of your mouth. I mean, how the hell could you go from douchbag to sweetheart in the time in between when we broke up and now? I'm starting to believe that the past week of our relationship has been a really well planned out scheme that your management planned. They might as well just have their hand up your fucking asshole! You live your entire existence to please the music business. I can't be a part of that anymore. I can't be just another piece in this fucked up game that is your life. I want out. Don't call me or text me or reach out to me at all because I'm not responding. Goodbye Austin. Have a nice life." I choked out. He looked stunned. I stormed out, running through his house to the front door. I couldn't run fast enough. Sobs escaped my body before I could even turn the door knob. I needed to go home.
I raced out to my car and slammed the door as I got into the drivers seat.
I cried the whole way home. And just like that, my boy was gone all over again. But, it's not like I got him back in the first place.