-
A few minutes past and Changbin was getting a phone call.
It was Hyunjin.
"What the hell did you do to Felix?"
Changbin didn't answer.
"Changbin, you can't ignore me. You answered the phone. What did you do?"
"I didn't do anything."
"Whatever, you obviously did something. He won't come out of the bathroom nor talk to me. Did you yell at him again."
"N-no."
Silence.
"Hyunjin, I did something bad."
"What did you do."
"I-I kissed Felix."
"Oh my gosh! No way! That's cute. Wait, that's bad. Damn it Changbin. What if Jisung finds out!?"
"He'll hate me. I can't have that. I'm gonna lose my best friend because I couldn't keep my damn feelings in. Hyunjin, I don't know what to do."
"Okay so, um, first. What happened."
"He came over to talk to me. To see what has been wrong with me lately and he was so close that I couldn't stop myself from doing anything. So.... I grabbed his collar and kissed him."
"And...."
"Felix probably hates me now. We only stopped because we were out of breath. And then Jisung came in. Like in the front door, not my room. Thank god he didn't see."
"Wait.....'we stopped.'"
"Um... yeah?"
"So he didn't push you away or anything..?"
"Um, no.."
"Changbin, if anything, he wouldn't hate you."
"Yes he would! I just gave him the anxiety of keeping a secret."
"Well he didn't push you away, so that's something good."
"Yeah, well we have to leave for class now."
"Okay, um since we three have that class together, why don't you go ahead and leave and I'll walk with Felix. Ya know, until we get this worked out or something."
"Okay, thanks Hyunjin. I really do appreciate it."
"Of course trashbin."
"Yah!"
Then Hyunjin hung up.
-
"Hey Felix? It's time for class. If we don't leave now, we'll be late."
"Give me just a sec, please."
"Okay, I'll be waiting outside for you."
"Okay."
After a few minutes, Felix came out and him and Hyunjin were now heading to their class.
Hyunjin knew he shouldn't bother Felix with any questions, so he didn't.
"Hyunjin...."
"Yeah?"
"I......think I cheated on Jisung." Felix said as he started tearing up.
"Huh?"
"Don't act like you didn't talk to Changbin. I know you guys were talking on the phone."
Hyunjin just stayed silent.
"Hyunjin, I'm scared." A tear fell from his face as they were still walking.
"Are you going to tell Jisung?"
"No, It'd crush him. I want him to know but I can't hurt him like that. We've only been together a week, and I've already cheated on him. I'm the worst boyfriend ever." Felix said kicking rocks.
"I'm not going to say it's okay, because it's not. But you should eventually tell him."
"I guess."
They walked into their classroom. Felix spotted Changbin as soon as he walked in. Changbin was looking down.
Felix decided it's be best to sit beside of Hyunjin. Considering he just cheated on his boyfriend because he had just kissed Changbin.
He'd never say he didn't enjoy the kiss. If anything that was the best kiss he had experienced, because he'd just realized....Changbin was his first kiss.
The whole entire class he couldn't stop thinking about the kiss. He couldn't concentrate. He was so drowned in his thoughts that someone tapped his shoulder when class was over.
It was Changbin.
"Hey class is over. You seem lost in thought. I figured you wouldn't want to stay in class another hour or so."
"Where's Hyunjin?"
"I told him to go ahead, that I'd walk back with you. Obviously he protested, but I finally convinced him."
Felix stood up, grabbed his things and started walking beside of Changbin.
"Look, I'm sorry I did that. Hate me all you want. Punch me all you want. Make me bleed. Do whatever your heart is content with. I won't hate you afterwards."
"Changbin, I'd never hate you. I'm just frustrated. Why did you do that?" Felix stopped on the sidewalk and faced Changbin.
Changbin looked down.
"It's bad when I can't even answer that, isn't it." Changbin laughed.
He looked at Felix who wasn't laughing.
"Felix, I'm sorry okay! I messed up. I know that. I'm sorry! Damn it. I ruined everything. You might as well never talk to me again okay. I don't know why the hell I did it. It's not like I'm gay.........but you. Felix, you're different." Changbin then started crying.
Felix felt terrible. Changbin basically just told him he was different then everyone else. He wasn't gay. But he liked him. Felix was scared. He didn't know what to do. He felt bad because he couldn't return the feelings back. He does have a boyfriend that he has to love now. He can't throw that away just because Changbin is confused about his feelings.
Felix walked closer to the crying Changbin and hugged him.
"I'm sorry, Changbin. I don't hate you, okay? I'll never hate you. I can't break up with Jisung because you're confused. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't like you back."
Felix backed up and wiped Changbin's tears.
"I'm sorry I made this so hard for you Felix. Let's just.... forget this ever happened, okay." Changbin said pushing Felix's hand away and started walking again.
They approached the apartments and parted.
-
They continued their day as if nothing happened. Actually they continued the next few weeks as if nothing happened.
"Hey! Changbin! I'm going to the store with Hyunjin! I'll be back in about an hour!" Jisung yelled from the kitchen.
Changbin just laid in his bed, until he heard a knock on the apartment door.
He walked and opened it.
"Hey, binnie." Felix said and gave a thin smile.
"Hey." Changbin said and shut the door once Felix came in.
"I know it's stupid to ask you this but I guess I'll go ahead anyways." Felix said before sitting at the bar, which Changbin sat opposite of him.
"And what is that."
"Well, mine and Jisung's one month is approaching and I don't know what to do for it. I figured since you've had a relationship before, that you'd know what to do. If you don't want to help, I completely understand."
"No it's fine, I'll help."
"Thanks binnie." Felix gave that thin smile again.
"First off, don't do extravagant on only the one month. Save that for the one year." Changbin said with caution. It hurt his heart to even think that his best friend and newfound crush would be together that long.
Felix nodded.
"Maybe a small gift would do. Jisung really likes cupcakes. Especially chocolate ones. You guys could plan to make some together. He'd really like that." Changbin said before getting up and getting himself some noodles to make.
"You want some?" Changbin asked Felix.
"No thanks." Felix said propping his head on both of his hands and watching Changbin cook the noodles.
"Stop looking at me like that." Changbin said before focusing back on the noodles.
Before he knew it, Felix was back hugging him. He also put his head on Changbin's shoulder.
"I'm sorry I make it so hard on you to be around me and Jisung. Plus asking you questions for a one month doesn't help either."
Changbin just stood there casually stirring the noodles. He turned the stove off once they were done.
"Felix could you please let go."
"But I don't want to."
"But you have to."
"No I don't."
"If you don't, you'll regret doing it eventually."
Felix finally let go and they sat at the bar again.
Changbin continued to eat his noodles as Felix was staring again.
"Felix, what did I say earlier. If you keep doing things like that, I won't be able to stop myself."
"Then don't."
Changbin looked at him with his eyebrows knitted.
"What's changed with you?"
"Nothing."
They both got up. Changbin was about to put his bowl in the sink but before he did, Felix grabbed his wrist and pulled him close.
"Felix what are you doing."
Felix put both of his hands on Changbin's face and pulled him closer until their lips were touching.
Felix placed their lips together slowly. No movement involved like the first kiss they shared, just lips placed together. No movement was needed for them to express their feelings in one kiss.
Changbin pulled away.
"We shouldn't be doing this."
"It's okay, I promise."
"No it's not. Jisung will hate me."
"No he won't. If anything, he'd hate us both."
"Exactly so, we should stop so you can actually have a happy life with him."
Felix pulled his hands away from Changbin's face.
Changbin then put his bowl in the sink and opened the door.
"Bye Felix, I'll see you later."
Felix then planted a kiss on Changbin's cheek, then left.
-
"Hey, I'm back!" Jisung yelled through the house.
He then put his bags down and walked to Changbin's room because he didn't respond.
"Hey, Changb- Omg are you okay?"
Jisung walked in and saw Changbin crying on his bed.
Changbin didn't answer him.
Jisung sat in front of Changbin on the bed.
"Hyung, tell me what's wrong." Jisung said.
"Hyung?" He said again because Changbin still wasn't answering.
"N-nothing. Please leave my room. I need to be alone." He said almost whispering.
"You can tell me. I won't judge or do whatever you think I'll do."
"No, Jisung. You don't get it. I did something bad.....and..... if that person finds out......they'll be really hurt and probably hate me forever.....and I don't know if I could live with that."
"I'm sure they'll understand. It can't be that bad."
"That's what you say now." Changbin said looking down again. He couldn't look at Jisung because he felt so guilty.
"I was the cause of it the first time. But the second time, I let it happen." Changbin said once more.
He then got up and left Jisung in his room.
Changbin went outside, the sun just going down. A palette of colors filled the cloudy sky before the darkness would take over soon.
Changbin didn't know where he was going, he just knew that he needed to go away for a bit.
He was walking and eventually it started raining.
He was now soaked and sitting on a park bench in the dark, slightly crying. But you couldn't tell because the rain was mixed with his salty tears...
Hiii! This is kinda a filler chapter. Hope you liked it :) STRAY KIDS TOMORROW! I CANT WAIT ANY LONGER. IM SO EXCITED! Oooo, you guys should go follow my Instagram account! It's called changlixbinnie. I post almost anything I can find about Changlix! Oof, I'm definitely not obsessed.😂 it's fine! Love you guys❣️❣️