"...I knew I heard voices," I sighed as I slowly stepped away from the shadows and anxiously revealed myself to everyone.
"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE?!"Jean stood and shouted in shock.
I just stared at everyone. Their jaws were dropped open and their eyes were widened like a bug. Everyone was completely in utter shock, especially Jean.
"Uh..." I scratched the side of my chin, "I got into a fight, what else?"
Thought of making it simple, I hated it when we make things like this a big deal. It's embarrassing.
I looked at everyone once more. Jean was about to leave his sit and come after me but he didn't get the chance when Shinami and Liyah immediately ran up to me first.
"Who did this to you???" Liyah panicked as she was expecting my wounds.
"Dang, whoever did it, smacked you good!!" Shinami laughed and I replied her with a glare.
"What?? We don't see you get beaten up everyday," she grinned as she naturally checked my bruises.
"Was it the man you called Edward?" Jean asked sternly. I looked away in silence.
"It's my first time to see Louisa beate...-" I looked back at Connie threateningly , "-I mean...was he that strong??"
"No he was another weakling," I replied.
"Then how did you end up like this?" Mikasa asked.
I sat silently for a while, I took a glance at Eren and Historia. They were awfully quiet and they just waited for my explanation.
I sighed one more time, "Just as when I could've brought him down and claim victory... the side effect-the painful headache kicked in. It made me vulnerable enough to not even stand properly."
"But...you won right? He d-didn't defeat you?" Liyah asked in a cautious tone.
"Of course I won, but it didn't go as plan..." I answered.
"How did you won? Did the headache disappeared? Or you endured it?" Armin asked as if he only wanted information.
I sat quiet for a minute, brushed my hair a little bit to the part where Edward pulled and gazed at Shinami and Liyah.
"I was got unconscious..."
That was the only words I could bring out.
"Unconscious? You won by being unconscious?" Sasha asked in confusion. Most of them didn't really understand and I would like it to be this way. Except for Armin who was clearly deep in thought. There might be a chance he could figure out all what I meant with even little information.
Liyah and Shinami almost jolted from shock, they both looked at each other and slowly patted my back in the end. I slowly patted their's and removed their hands around me.
"That's another story for another day," I slightly smirked.
As much as I always kept a lot of secrets from them. My trauma is too private to talk about. If they heard about it they could even see me as a monster.
"You guys didn't mention anything, when you guys returned!! You two were there when it happened!!" Jean shouted at Eren.
"Hey we didn't say anything because we didn't want to!! Don't go just go pointing fingers to anyone you horseface!!" Eren stood up from his seat and shouted back at the man in front of him.
Jean gritted his teeth in anger and annoyance and before he could punch the Titan Bastard Armin quickly tried pulling them away from each other.
"Louisa just wanted to tell you all what happened to her personally, that's it," Historia blankly replied.
"AHHHHH!!!"
Everyone soon turned quiet after the shout of agony faded out from the basement. Eren and Jean glanced at each other and both awkwardly sat down.
I rolled my eyes at them,"Tsk, seriously?? This isn't suppose to be a big deal. When you live in the underground, you should at least get beaten up even once. This is no different."
"True, but you don't often get beaten up, this should be your second...perhaps?" Shinami grinned as she rested on her palm on the table.
"Shut up," I crossed my arms and then I remembered the bruise I got on my abdomen. I didn't hesitate to unfold them immediately by pain.
"You and your secrets again..." Mikasa commented bitterly. I just looked away in response.
"Oh come on, isn't that the best part? Knowing about her is just like a game and were having luck since her secrets are getting popped out one by one so quickly," the mischievous girl winked at me.
"Like I said Shinami, just shut up," I replied.
"Never!! Did you know that Louisa has pride with her boobs!! And she acts like a child when she's drunk and she!!-"
Before I could let her continue I pushed her off her seat and made her fall on her face,
"I warned you..." I gave her a menacing stare.
She looked up and grinned, even though her nose was bleeding. I sighed and looked at everyone. Some were shocked, quiet and some were laughing. Hot blood started to rush over my face. I was embarrassed.
"We get it that you love your boobs okay," Sasha, laughed under her clothing.
"OY! That wasn't true in the first place!!" I shouted immediately.
"I've never seen Louisa get drunk though, is she as childish as you have said?" Mikasa asked.
"Oh!! Definitely!! She-" just as Shinami stood up, I kicked her down once more.
"Hey!! Can you not hit me??" she furrowed her eyebrows.
"Can you not stop talking?" I answered.
"Hahaha, you wouldn't see her get drunk easily, she has to finish 2-3 or more barrels of alcohol to even get drunk," Liyah smirked.
"What?? That's so unrealistic?" Eren replied.
"Like I said, alcohol's like water in the underground," I replied and looked at Jean if he remembered my remark from last time.
***
After few minutes of chatting, we all headed to bed. Some couldn't handle the screams of agony from down bellow so they all decided to get some rest. I was in relief that I could get some rest without being stressed. Yes, I was aware we were still hunted and being called criminals...but that was my life in the underground, and our situation now was no different.
Maybe after an hour or two, I woke up from pain. My body was aching as hell. First was my head now my body. Seriously?! Could I at least get a break? The pain must came from all the hits I got from Edward.
I slowly pushed out my blanket away, quietly walked down the stairs and reached the first floor. I was carrying a kit full of medical tools and bandages to clean and re bondage my wounds again. I didn't want my wounds to be infected.Everyone was asleep so this was the best time for me do my job secretly.
I went to the kitchen with a mirror at hand, placed it on the table, lit a candle instead of a lamp and started by removing the the patches that covered most of the wounds on my face. I removed the band aids near the edges of my eye, the big patch on my cheek and the small strips near the eyebrows.
I looked at the mirror and stared at my face. I let out a small chuckle on how ridiculous I looked as I brought out cloth with boric acid. I lightly dabbed the cloth unto my wounds. It stung but it was minor enough to endure.
After I cleaned the wounds on my face and patched them up, I looked around cautiously. After I knew I was safe and completely alone, I removed shirt and left myself with my tank top.
I gave out a shaky breath in pain even with just by simple movements. I still had scratches and small scrapes around my arms and legs but the most pain was from my abdomen. My eyes turned to the big patch that was at the side my neck.
Edward you bastard.
Slowly, I removed the patch as the bruise made from lips and teeth appeared. I sat on the table, took the mirror and glared at the big purple hickey he gave me. With my other hand, I slid my fingers through the marks that his teeth made, it made me ashamed and annoyed at the same time. I trailed my fingers through it while I thought about how many days would it take to disappear.
"L-Louisa?"
I rose my head brutally, to see Jean in font of me. He's hair was messy, he's eyes were droopy and after he yawned it was obvious he just woke up. He walked closer and calmly towards me with a cheeky smile
Suddenly he came into a halt and my unthinkable gaze disappeared. Aware of what my position was, I quickly took my shirt, covered my body and the *cough*hickey*cough*.
"Wait, I saw that," he gave me a stern stare.
Shoot. I turned away from his gaze. Why didn't I hear him came down the stairs? I guess I wasn't paying too much attention.
"Don't tell me what I think it is," he dashed closer to me and tried to remove my hands away from my shirt.
"Jean, stop," I replied and was annoyed how my voice was shaking. He still gripped my wrists, he knew I couldn't give out my full strength with all of this injuries and so he took it as an advantage.
"Louisa, look at me."
I didn't reply. I bit my lip and planned for an escape route to evade this situation but to no avail when I turned back towards him, I felt limp when I saw his lips closed together into a straight line and eyes that were sad enough to influence me.
He turned to my neck and instead of forcing me to let go of the shirt he tried to gently put it down. Finally I gave up and placed it down and I looked down in shame.
"W-who did it?" he softly asked.
"..."
"Louisa who did it?" he asked one more time.
"It's not what you think it is," I blankly answered.
"It's not what? That there's a hickey on your neck or the fact your c-cheating on me," he asked, and I could tell he was trying to suppress his pain.
"No!" I slightly replied loudly and looked up at him
"I'm not in love with anyone else..." I turned away once more.
He placed both hands on my shoulder, "Then who did it? Was it Jack? He harassed you is that it?!"
I widen my eyes, "No! Of course not, his is not that kind of guy!" I answered in a hushed voice.
"Then who harassed you?!" he answered in a louder tone.
Then there was silence, his hands were still on my shoulders and I was still looking down. I was gripping the edge of the table firmly. I didn't know what to do. I knew I should tell him about what really happened, but, I was...I don't know...scared?
"Can't you at least have trust in me?" he asked.
Slowly I felt his hands left my shoulders. I knew he was about to leave and I didn't want him to. Quickly before he could turn around and leave, I grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer forcefully. He obediently followed but his gestures were shocked. I rested my head on his chest and was still looking down. I could hear his heart beat and could feel his breathing.
I let out a shaky breath, "I-I'm sorry," I whispered.
"I was too ashamed to tell you. Knowing that he did this to me and that I was helpless, was too much...I...I didn't know what to do or what to say."
"Who did it...w-who touched you," he whispered back.
As I remembered the face of Edward I buried my face unto his chest. I was suppressing tears. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer. I raised my head and rested it unto his shoulder and wrapped my arms around his neck. I sniffled in response to the silence.
"Why don't you tell me who did it?" he asked.
"I-it was Edward."
"Was the hickey all he did?" he tighten his grip around me.
"Does the wounds and bruises formed by fight count?" I asked.
He then buried his face unto my shoulder, "It frustrates me."
"That?"
"That I wasn't there," he said under my hair.
"When I saw you with all of those wounds, I couldn't help but blame myself," he added.
"Why?"
"I know we confessed our love for each other days ago but knowing I'm not even there to protect you is painful. Shouldn't I be the one to protect someone I love from any harm? Someone harassed you behind my back, how couldn't I be so mad?" he answered aggressively.
I wrapped my arms tighter and faced his neck, "Don't blame yourself."
"I just wanted to be there for you," he lifted his head up and faced me. His eyes were puffy, tired and crystals were dripping down his face. It was painful for me to see him this way and I don't know why. One thing for sure, I didn't want to see him this way.
I pulled him closer and with my thumbs I gently take away his tears. My lips slowly curled up closely together as I was suppressing my tears.
"I love you," he whispered as his lips were getting closer to mine.
I closed my eyes and pulled my face away from his. As I opened them again, I saw him frowning that he was rejected.
"I love you, but I'm not kissing a guy with bad breath," I smirked and removed his arms away from my waist.
"That's not true," He gave out a breath unto his palm and smelled it, then he stood silent.
I opened the medical kit and brought out a bandages.
"Your still cleaning yourself?" he asked.
"Yes, and I want you to leave," I answered.
"Hey, I said I want to stay by your side, why don't you start trusting me?" he crossed his arms.
"I'll be cleaning the bruise on my abdomen, and I don't need a second hand," I replied.
He looked at my stomach and me, back and forth then to my chest. He gave out a smirk,"Don't worry I'll be useful."
"I said no!!"
***
Me and Jean didn't go back to sleep after I cleaned my wounds. We took a blanket and sat outside to look up the stars. I guess the cold nights were the only time for us to stick close together since were keeping our relationship a secret.
A blanket was wrapped around our backs, I was resting my head unto his shoulder and he wrapped his other arm around my mine.
"Hey," he called, "When will we tell the others about us?"
"When everything's over, at least if everything went according to plan," I replied.
He pouted and then after few seconds he looked up at the stars, "I guess, so that our relationship won't be a hindrance."
"Plus, I don't know what to say to my brother if he finds out," I answered.
"Will he really kill me if he finds out?"
"I don't know, possibly in my opinion," I answered.
"That's insane..." he whispered.
I rolled my eyes and looked up once more. The stars were always amusing to me. They're so bright and it's always a refreshing sight to see every night.
While I was distracted by the stars, Jean spoke up, "Louisa, I've been thinking about this a lot and I wanted for us to talk about it."
I turned to him, "What's that?"
"You see...I fell in love with Louis Schatten, three years ago," I gave him a confused look, regardless he continued, "Within those three years, I learned so much about her and I thought I knew everything. I was proud of myself."
"But then, events came up and Louis Schatten has turned to another person. I was shocked and confused. There were so many things I didn't know, new names, new gestures and so many secrets that I haven't heard of. It seemed that all those three years were useless. Aware that I knew nothing at all and the fact that question myself all the time is that 'Do I really know you'?'" he asked.
I felt guilty, I looked at my shoes and gripped unto his hand that was on my shoulder, "I don't know a lot about you as well Jean, so I guess were in the same situation," I answered.
"I met you and lived around you for three years but now it feels as if your a stranger, it feels like we just met," he answered.
"But even though I found so may new things about you, even how frightening and shocking, I can't still help falling in love with you," he squeezed my hand.
"What's your point Jean," I asked.
"I mean, even though it seemed that the three years were useless, it's not a reason for me to stop loving you. I just want to know more about you. I want to be there for you this time. It all just started by a simple crush but now...I commit my love to you. No matter what secrets you still hide, no matter the pain or the suffering? I will still love you," he answered.
"Jean..." I murmured, I closed my eyes and squinted them lightly. I have the butterflies in my stomach again.
I then slightly punched his shoulder playfully, "Stop being so...dramatic."
"I'm not lying!" he chuckled.
"Then, let's start learning about each other, starting tonight," I moved closer to him.
He rested his head on top of mine, "How should we start?" he asked.
"Start by asking one question, will do this very night," I answered as I stared at the stars.
"What did you mean by winning the fight by being unconscious?"