Last night I came around to the truth whispered in my ear
In the light of day this sleight of hand romance is cold and crystal clear
So I waited long enough to show you that I could change the way I know you
~ Silverstein, Lost Positives
Erik's POV
I thought I would be the one to hurt her, not the other way around, but here we are.
I watch from across the room as she laughs and smiles with Kyle.
Her brown curls bounce on her shoulders each time she moves her head.
Never did I think I would allow another person into my life.
The dim lights overhead cast shadows over her features, making them more prominent.
She must have bought a new lipstick shade when we stopped at the drugstore earlier in the day, I think I would remember that colour on her skin. The deep maroon stands out against her sun kissed skin and compliments her green eyes well.
I try to take my mind off her while I pluck the strings of my guitar, but even then my mind wanders to the song I promised I would help her write.
A song that I don't think will ever happen.
Why can't I get my mind off of her? She's just another groupie.
But, she really isn't and I know that.
In the short time that we've known each other she's changed my opinion on commitment.
She was a girl that I could actually see myself committing too, but that all changed the night Scarlett almost broke the band up and my Ray was in on it.
My phone buzzes on the table beside me indicating I've gotten a text message.
Ava's name flashes on the screen with her message underneath;
Are you free after the show?
My eyes wander over to Avril again and the smile on her face, the way a slight dimple forms or the way her eyes sparkle whenever she laughs, the same laugh that makes my heart sore.
"Don't think about it." I look up to see Devon staring down at my phone, "you and I both know that's a terrible idea."
"Whenever have I been known to make good decisions?" I challenge.
"She was trying to be a good friend, you know how manipulative your cousin can be. She did it all her life with your aunt. Don't push the one girl who's made you smile away." Devon wasn't there the night shit went down, instead he had been at home with his family handing out candy. "Avril was probably scared to tell you."
I don't answer my best friend as I find myself staring at her again, "maybe you're right."
"I know you have problems with trusting people, especially with what happened with your mom, but Avril has been trying to wiggle her way through those bars that hold your heart. Don't forget that you had a full night's sleep with her in your arms." Devon squeezes my shoulder before walking away.
I sigh, thinking about what he said, maybe he is right and that I need to think about all that she has done for me.
I grab my phone and look through my contacts, looking for her name.
"Tobias?" I can feel myself relax at the sound of my aunt's voice; she's always had a soothing effect on me.
"I need to talk to you." I haven't called my aunt in a while and I know Scarlett hasn't called her mom since we left for tour in mid September.
"What's wrong?"
"What do you do when someone very close to you betrays you?" I can hear my aunt sigh and I can practically imagine the look on her face, that look of sadness.
The same look she had when she had to explain to me why I didn't have a mom or dad like the rest of the kids in my grade 2 class.
The same look when we got the diagnosis of insomnia and PTSD related to being abandoned by my mother, that was around the same time Scarlett had started to run away from home.
My insomnia was created from the anger, the guilt, and the feeling of being scared according to the numerous psychologists I had seen since I had arrived in America.
The fear of the same recurring nightmare from the night I was finally taken away from my mother and seeing her in chains.
My aunt was worried that I would never heal from the trauma and neglect I had endured, and at the age of 29 my aunt's fears had come true; no matter how hard I tried to fight it, I hadn't overcome those demons that taunted me through my youth.
"What did my daughter do?" I can hear the annoyance in her voice, there has always been some strain between the two, especially since Scarlett blamed her mom for Scarlett's dad never sticking around.
"Why do you assume it's Scarlett?"
"Because you two have always been joined at the hip and that girl only ever thinks about herself."
"Well it wasn't her entirely, it's that girl I've been telling you about." I look up to see Ray staring at me from across the room with a complex look on her face as Kyle and Lucas stand on either side of her, talking away.
"The sunshine in your life?"
"I really regret telling you that." I mumble as I listen to my aunt's angelic laughter.
"I think it's cute; I'm finally getting to experience your first crush. You never showed any affection for girls when you lived with me. You're making me feel young with the talk of Ray."
"Not anymore, she betrayed my trust." The phone goes silent and I'm stuck waiting for my aunt to answer.
"Tell me everything," and so I do. I tell her how Scarlett has been messing with Kyle's feelings and using Adam to do it with, how Avril hide it from me knowing very well that this could have split the band.
"Sweetie, I don't think she was trying to do it on purpose, I think she didn't know how to tell you and wanted to do it before you got hurt. The way you talk about her makes me think she cares about you just as much as you care about her. Stop pushing your happiness away and make that girl yours, I'm not getting any younger and I would like to see one of my babies married." I roll my eyes at her.
"Why me? What about Scarlett?"
"That would mean my daughter would have to stop playing with people's feelings like her father."
"Erik! We're going on!" Devon yells from the other side of the room.
"I have to go. I miss you and love you, I promise to visit for the holidays." I listen for my aunt's response before shoving my phone in my pocket and running after the band.
I'm handed a mic as I enter onto the stage, our first show in a casino. Our first show that isn't in a bar, our first step into being a household name.
The next will be Warped Tour.
"Hello Orlando! We are Fallen Angels! Thank you all for coming out, now who is excited to rock?" The crowd roars to life and the adrenaline I've come accustomed to seeps into my veins, fuelling my passion to perform.
"Before we start I have a special video for you all." Scarlett says into the mic beside her. I look back at the guys, who shrug their shoulders at me, all in the same position as me - confused as fuck.
The drop back from behind us is lit up but that's not what catches my attention; Avril is frantically swinging her arms at me trying to get my attention while Olivia is running towards the sound room not far from Avril.
I move towards her as music begins to playing.
"What?" I question once I'm closed enough that she can hear me yell.
"The music video has Adam in it!" Her eyes are wide and full of regret in them not to mention anger seems to flare along the edges of her irises.
I look back to see in fact Scarlett and Avril in black wigs and lingerie dancing with Adam sitting on a throne.
I look back to see tears in her eyes before the whole room goes black.
Edited by GirlReader133