After about a week in the hospital after Zhao had came back from the deepest depths of hell. He instantly lost all of his energy resulting of him waking up in the hospital, a place he hates the most. Zhao finally left the stench of rubbing alcohol and the song of life support machines ringing in his ear, for good two days. After finding out everything, Zhao ragely came to Shen Wei and told him about everything, and when he hesitated he asked if Shen Wei knew about it already. Shen Wei couldn't lie to Zhao's face so he told him yes. Zhao got mad at him and won't talk to him, it's been months without contact and it kills them both every time but Shen Wei cooperatively give themselves some space, especially Zhao YunLan.
It's been months since Zhao had cut off any connections with Shen Wei. At first, Shen was buffled but he carried on with life but there's an ever present ache for him that he can't deny. He didn't think his recklessness to avoid conflict to keep the peace made start a war inside himself.
Ignoring a precious one like Shen Wei is never an easy thing to do for Zhao, but sometimes, it is what he feels is the smartest thing to do emotionally.
This is the most painful situation for Shen Wei at the same time absolutely, like waiting for a dear one without knowing that he was avoiding you in purpose. It was a disappointing and somewhat worrisome beginning to what was after all his destiny. Before summoning he recast his face into one of superiority, erasing the crestfallen face that belonged to a man his age.
The early evening lull had come to the streets, that quiet between the frenetic commuters and the vibrant party seekers.
The Professor's eyes lazily rolled open, glazed over with with the remnants of a dream. Rubbing his tired eyes with the insides of his palms, his eyes were dry from staring at the ceiling above absentmindedly as the middle aged professor stop midway of scribbled down 'notes'. He now sat in his own personal office at the second floor row the lights were hidden in the darken corner to prevent unwanted light to invade his eyes. Setting his head rest on the cold desk letting his heavy lidded eyes fall shut for a moment.
The thought of Zhao trundled through his brain like a through train, with no intention of stopping. As he watched it's tail lights winking in the distance, all trace of it leaving his neurons, he wondered if maybe that was the one idea that would have made him his millions. But, like a good dream Shen wish to remember, it had gone and left no traces that would help recreate it.
Were his thoughts visible they would be a inverse explosion, crazy chaotic turns and twists of light all coming together to just one word, to just one person. Though his thoughts spin in a way that appears without design or logic, it always dance its way back to love, to a way of living that celebrates life without damaging the very people he hold dearest.
How is it that just a thought can bring long buried emotions and stir what was settled? Before, someone had told Shen Wei about leave things be, to not go walking into the past so blindly. But what else is there to do when the way forward is the way back? Perhaps though it is just selfishness to return, to make others feel what was healthier for them to forget?
When Shen Wei is in the presence of Zhao YunLan, time tends to freeze. He clam up and stutter, doing and saying the absolute dumbest things because, frankly, he was not sure what else to do around.
Shen tend to hold back his emotions everytime unless there's a firm confirmation that Zhao made him feels like he's interested in feels the same way he do, and rejection is a concept he tend to avoid at all costs. He doesn't want to force himself to Zhao, that's why he cooperatively avoid Zhao too, to stop him feeling getting uncomfortable any longer. But it doesn't mean that he completely abandoned the mountain spirit, even if it kills him, he will protect Zhao with his all life even if Zhao curse him to death.
He knew that what he had set out to do was the right thing, devout himself to the holy Lamp and and protect the barrier. In fact it was his only choice. He owed Zhao his life and especially a happiness, everything that much and he knew that he would not be at peace until he had fulfilled this last duty. Only then would Shen ever truly be worthy of forgiveness.
He stuffed all his belongings and left the university. Walking outside the campus ground.
Under the moonlight the city lay still. The heat of the day had been replaced by a cool breeze and Shen sauntered under the trees with a brown brussel bag dangling from his arm. He moved between the pools of streetlight, feet almost silent of the sidewalk. A pair of headlights came bouncing over the street, blinding him temporarily before passing and disappearing.
The air was damp and cool smelling faintly of a car's exhaust fumes, trees that lines the lane stood as black statues silhouetted against the darkening sky, slowly their shadows melted away into the blackness of night.
People walk in the street like the way a gas fills a jar; no matter how few of them there are - all the space will be taken. It's like they are programmed to get as far from one another as possible, make no eye contact and move fast. This city is so much safe.
The happy, chattering crowds had long since flowed into the street. In the almost deserted street Shen leant against a lamppost and gazed up at the pool of yellow light that lapped around the bulb. As his head sagged back down to his chest. Waiting to hailed a cab.
The bench that was imposing beside Shen, more of a throne than a casual seat. The high ornate arms rose on each side and the back was tall with carvings. While waiting, he sits crossed legs.
Despite the time, the hustle and bustle never came to a halt. The city's residents were off somewhere as Shen Wei left with loneliness eating him alive, swallowing every once of hope he had yet to spare. It feasts upon any happiness he have left, leaving behind empty carcass; full of despair and memories he can't seem to hold onto anymore. It takes his heart into its claws, squeezing out every bit of life he had circulating throughout his opaque veins. It craves for Zhao to suffer a life without any warm hands embracing him, or any shoulders to go cry upon.
It seemed unfair that no matter how much he strived to be the man his conscience wanted him to be, it would keep taunting him with his failures. Each time the regrets reemerged he would diligently analyze them again, hoping that this time his mind would be satisfied with his self professed remorse, but it never was. Like an unforgiving spectre it would be back tomorrow to haunt him all over again.
It would come to him in quiet moments, such as when he was going to sleep or stopped to take a lunch break. It would seep to the foreground of his mind and demand to be reexamined again. But he was tired of thinking about it, no amount of analysis was going to turn back the clock. He had to get on with the here and now, make better choices next time around.
He knew he'd done something pretty awful. Keeping in secret such important information who wouldn't be mad? The more demanding the reparations his subconscious required the worse he knew it was that Zhao would forgive him. Shen had done this before, and he thought maybe Zhao had enough and finally give up.
Shen have tried to throw Zhao out of his head. But the man keeps coming every night. Maybe he can never get rid of it, or maybe he don't want to. It's the only part of Shen he can hold on to. And every time he sneek to see Zhao, he revise through all the other options, but he had done none of them, and what's done is done. He can't ever change that. By just dreaming, Shen can still have part of Zhao and hope that one day the mountain spirit will forgive him as he is willing to wait.
The Professor repetitively tapped his fingers on top of his crossed legs destructing himself from the nausea swirled unrestrained in his empty stomach and his head swam with half-formed regrets.
In the interval, water droplets fall like they simply cannot think of anything better to do. There is a laziness about it, as if it can barely be bothered to conform to the will of gravity. Suddenly, the rain bore down mercilessly upon the heart of the city. The trees offered no shelter, droplets struck the already wet sidewalk, pitting the surface like they were bullets from above.
Shen's head facing the clouds, letting the rain spill down onto his face as he thought about everything he could think about.
The rain has lost the ambient temperature of early fall, freezing and paling Shen's skin on contact. The path through the street is muddy water in motion, filling deep puddles that hide the ruts of dryer weather. To feel it isn't enjoyment, not fun like the gentle sunshine of springtime, yet it is a part of life and Shen want to feel it just the same. He want to experience each drop, together and apart, same and different. He want to see the droplets soaking his eyelashes before they join their brethren on the ground like saltless tears. He need to be in this, chaotic and wild, just like his mind and soul - like nature looked right into him and pulled the weather out.
Shen's entire body is cold and wet, but he like it that way. He feel connected with the calm around him, the peaceful atmosphere hugging him like the warm embrace of a mother.
Letting the rain caress his cheek as the rain continues its steady beat along the ground. The symphony of the wind and the rain leaves a tranquil ambience, that seems to shimmer around him. Protecting him.
Promptly, the thick icy sheets of rain obscured Shen's vision disturb. He can no longer feel the cold water as it flows along his perfect sculpted face, no longer feel the pattering as it falls gently against his forehead.
That was when he heard an appealing voice.
"You'll get cold if you stay out in the rain..."
Shen open his eyes slowly and gaze at the person which is causing a disturbance. His thoughts no longer flowing smoothly. The first thing his eyes see, is a tall, fresh-faced teenager man dress in modest, inexpensive-looking clothes, holding a transparent umbrella.
Shen gaze softly at the person holding the umbrella. The male wavy chestnut hair falls down to his forehead and his amber eyes mimic Shen's ones. The male looks no older than Shen, maybe he's slightly younger, wearing a simple tank top and a hoodie with rolled up sleeves. His jeans are ripped from old use and he seems to be wearing black sneakers.
Shen automatically memorise his outfit, just like he do with every person that passes by. The male waves softly at Shen with his free hand and after a moment of hesitation Shen give a soft smile back.
The male walk closely and sits down next to Shen, holding the umbrella over both of them, sheltering Shen from the cold. The warm body heat of another person is a striking difference to the cold and calm aura that the rain gives Shen.
"Why are you out here?" the handsome male asks.
Shen stay silent for a second creating a distorted look. He doesn't want to talk.
The male simply nodded in understanding the silence and go back to gazing at the clouds. A silent truce is formed between them.
Shen glances at the male and the male move his eyes to him. They both stare at each other before Shen manage to stands up.
"I better get going, you too, it's dangerous for such a young teenager to go out for a walk at this weather." Shen said tentatively.
Shen give a perceptible nod and smiles and was about to walk the other path when a strong hands grabbed his wrist, yanking him back. Shen was startled but not worried. After all the male is a pure human. He just let the male grasped his wrist mid high.
"Actually chiseled face is my type.. such an immense beauty. By the way I'm heading to a pub, would you like to go?" the male asked.
Shen scoffs slightly and averted his gaze for a split seconds and glance back at the male's eyes, his own eyes are full of passion and life, like fire as he said with a gentle wisdom tone, "Student such a young age, you better stays at home and do your homework rather than drinking liquor which is bad for your health. You're still young and you're wasting your life at such age."
And male did not respond as he keep glaring at Shen with dim yet still burning, a sense of determination yet peacefulness, like a flowing stream of steady water. The male looked down as he sigh and breathe out a cloud of quickly dissolving gas and without a word left the Professor alone.
Shen was left alone once again soaking in wet rainy day, walking - every person with their head down and moving at maximum speed. Those with umbrellas take wider berths of one another, the rest take care to duck when the spokes come their way. The sound of feet on wet cemented road is almost lost against the splashing of the traffic, only the click of high heels still clear. The usual smell of the fumes is dampened by the hazy drops and every face is on the blank-stressed spectrum - at 10:30 pm.
Shen took off his round rimmed glasses covered with water drops and clean the lenses and put it back on.
After a minute or so of standing in the wind with falling rains, Shen decided to leave knowing that it's dead of the night summing up the bad weather, hailing a cab would be a total waste of his time. Shen began walked down to the edge of the street and stopped; looking around, he began to think of the longest route home, yet he could not disappeared just like that with people crowding the place. As he was scanning the place, Shen saw something that surprised him and brought a large, genuine smile upon his face.
Down the street was a parked car. A very familiar black car with a very familiar man leaning against it. The man turned to his direction. That was all it took to cause Shen to run absentmindedly to him.
End.