I woke up, gasping for air. The hoarse, voice ringing though my head. That other baby didn't concern me. It could have been a friend of mine that I stopped seeing. But I had to talk to my father about the last dream from last night. There was no way I was going to let him get away with this. The voice from the dream told me that it was his memory. I saw memories I had forgotten and one of my father's. As much as people would tell me they were just dreams, I knew they were too real to be only dreams. And when I saw the dreams or memories or whatever they were, I had recognised them as my own. I started to remember them happening. They were my memories. There was no questioning it anymore. It wasn't just a couple dreams. The only one I wasn't sure was a memory or a dream was that last one. I definitely wasn't one of my memories.
I jumped out of bed. I got changed into a green jumper and a pair of black jeans. I tucked my necklace into my jumper and rolled up the sleeves a little so my snake bracelet was showing on my wrist. I put on my flats. I pulled my wand from the drawer of my side table and put it in my pocket. I left my hair in its messy curls and walked downstairs to the lounge. I didn't expect anyone to be in there, seeing as I thought everyone left for Christmas. But that assumption was quickly proved wrong when I saw Flint and Higgs in the lounge.
"Good morning, Flint." I said, trying not to acknowledge Higgs.
"Happy Christmas." He said, turning to face me from the couches.
"Christmas?" I asked.
"Yeah, its the twenty-fifth today." He said, looking at me funny.
"Oh my goodness! It is isn't it?" I laughed, "Well happy Christmas!" I exclaimed.
"Did I disappear or something?" Higgs asked.
Rolling my eyes, I began for the door, dodging Higgs' annoying voice.
"I'm going to my father's." I said to Flint and walked out of the common room.
I walked down the hall and around a corner to my father's office. I knocked on the door and waited for a few seconds before the door swung open, revealing my father behind it.
"Happy Christmas!" I greeted him.
"We are going shopping for you today. Choose whatever you want." He said. to me in return.
I stood there shocked. He's never told me that we would go shopping together before. This was a whole new thing for me.
"You're not serious, are you?" I asked him.
That was a silly question. He's always serious. He's the most serious person in the world.
"Do you want to go or not?" He asked me.
I nodded, smiling. We walked together up to the ground floor and walked out of the school, taking the path to Hogsmeade. We were just walking together, neither of us talking, just watching in front of us as we walked though the softly falling snow. It wasn't extremely busy in Hogsmeade, due to people being home, celebrating Christmas with their families. But I was with my father; my family. My small, broken family. For the first ten minutes, I did a little window shopping, just waiting for something to catch my eyes. But when it turned to ten minutes since we had arrived, I saw it. A beautiful, emerald green, hooded cloak with a silver fastening at the chest that looked like two connected leaves.
"Father," I breathed in awe, walking up to a clothing store's window, "look at it. Isn't it beautiful?" I asked, looking back at him.
I could see a smile trying to pull itself onto his face.
"Father, can we please go in?" I asked him.
He nodded and I jumped with excitement. I ran in and made my way over to a rack with that cloak. I touched the fabric and quickly found out that it was velvet. I was falling more in love with it by the second.
"Beautiful, don't you think?" A woman asked, walking up to me.
I smiled up at her, nodding.
"It's enchanted, did you know? It changes in size to fit the person wearing it. It will grow with you." She told me.
Excitedly, I looked over to my father. He nodded at me. I jumped for joy and ran over to him. I wrapped my arms around him, giving him half a million 'thank you' s. I pulled myself from him and took an emerald cloak off of the rack. It was the most beautiful shade I had ever seen. I couldn't get over the beauty of this cloak. My father and I walked over to the counter to pay. When it was officially mine, the lady that sold it to me wrapped it around me and hooked the fastening. I could feel the large cloak shrink. It stopped when it felt the perfect size. The perfect height. The perfect fit. It was as light as a feather, but incredibly warm. Everything about it was perfect.
"It suits you, beautifully." The woman complemented.
"Thank you so much." I smiled at her.
My father and I walked out of the store. We continued walking down the single street.
I only things I wanted and needed and found were a pair of new black shoes that were much warmer than the only pair of flats I had, more green and black clothes, and a singular white shirt that fit properly and looked okay.
"I think I'm done, Father. I don't need anything else." I told him.
He looked down at me.
"Nothing you want? A wizard's chess board? New books?" He asked.
I shook my head. He shrugged and nodded. We began walking back to the castle, taking the same path we took to get to the village.
"Father, may I go see Nusaeross for a little while? I haven't seen him in a while." I asked.
"I'll be at the castle if you need me." He nodded.
We separated. I walked toward the owlery while my father continued his way to the school without me. I reached the tall tower and walked inside. I climbed the many stairs up to the top to reach my raven. I reached the straw covered attic of the tower. I went to pick up the tail of the new cloak, but as I went to grab the fabric, I noticed that it was no longer dragging on the ground behind me. It was above my ankles, as if I knew that it would get dirty if it trailed on the ground.
"Of course! It's enchanted!" I laughed to myself.
I began to wonder what else it would do for me in the future. It honestly didn't have to do anything else; I was still in love with it. I walked over to Nusaeross.
"Hey, birdy birdy." I whispered to him, stroking the top of his head with one finger, "anything for me today?" I asked.
His head perked up and he looked up, then down.
"What's it?" I asked him.
I stepped back from him as he flew out of the owlery. In a few minutes, he came back with a package swinging from his feet and two letters in his beak. He dropped them in front of me. I laughed at him and picked up the two letters and single package. I quickly recognised the writing on the letters. One from Draco, one from Goyle. The package however, didn't have anything on it to say who it was from. In fact, it didn't have writing on it at all. I dragged a chair over to my bird and sat down while I opened the cards. I opened the card from Draco first, as I hadn't heard at all since he left yesterday.
Raven L. Snape,
It's only been a day and I miss you already. Happy Christmas by the way! I wish you came home with me. Father is bombarding me with questions. Mum is making sure I still feel at home. Making sure I get whatever I want for Christmas. She was sad to know that you weren't with me when the train got to nine and three quarters. Father wants to know who's not to like and who is. I told him obviously you are to like, as well as Goyle, Crabbe and Parkinson. The list of people not to like was much longer; Potter, the Weasels, that Mudblood Granger, Longbottom, the list goes on. I told him that a Gryffindor, Finnegan, was always blowing things up no matter where he was. No Hufflepuffs or Ravenclaws have come to play with us yet, thankfully. I don't need any know-it-all's telling me what to do all the time, or soft, weak children wanting to be overly nice to us, expecting us to play nice back. I didn't need to tell him about our loss in quidditch for him to know. He was furious, saying that I needed to be on the team and that they needed a new seeker. It's scary how alike you two are. At least you're more fun. My father isn't. He's all business, Dark Lord, serious, more business. It's all rubbish. My family's boring. At least it will be more interesting when Aunt Bella is out of Azkaban. That'll be the day! Anyway, hoping to hear back from you soon. Owl me as soon as you can, okay? Tell me everything. I mean everything. If you don't, I wont talk to you for a whole week when I get back to school. You'll have the torture of seeing me, but not talking to me. I miss you, Rave. I hope to hear back from you soon.
Draco
I smiled as I finished his letter. He still has humour in that giant boring mansion. I reached for a stack of parchment that was in the owlery and a quill and jar of ink. I began to write back to Draco.
Dearest Daco,
Happy Christmas! I miss you and your parents. Tell them I apologize for not coming home and that I wish I did. I miss your father's bickering and your mother's many failed cookie offerings.
I miss Dobby's welcomes as well. I don't really like Parkinson. She's my roommate and that's the worst thing ever! All she wants to do is gossip while I'm there. That's one of the main reasons I stay with my father. I actually can't stand her. I hope no other houses expect us to "play" nice. That isn't an option for us. We are who we are. We don't play pretend. As much I am much like your father, I bet he doesn't have temper tantrums like a two year old like me. I don't know how you can stand it! If it were me watching someone else have a temper tantrum, I would slap them over the head and tell them to grow up. Yeah, I'm still working on the "growing up" part. Would you rather me bottle up my anger and one day explode? Didn't think so. You're right about Auntie Trix. Everything will be so much more interesting with Auntie Trix around. Once I figure out what's going on over here myself, then I'll tell you about my "vacation" so far. As of right now, I have some questions to ask and some Occlumency to learn. I think I heard the Dark Lord talk to me last night. I'll explain later, I promise. Please don't stop talking to me! I miss you and I hope to hear back soon.
All my love,
Raven
I found the envelopes and sealed the letter inside the envelope. I gave it to Nuseaross, who gladly took it.
"Go take this to Daco. You know him. Stay safe, birdy birdy." I whispered to him.
With that the Raven flew out of the owlery. I stood up and picked up the letters and package, even the letter I just read. I brought them back to the school and into my dormitory in the Slytherin common room. I stuffed Draco's letter in my side table and placed the other letter and the package on top of the side table. My stomach and I had just remembered that I was so in shock about my dream and the cloak, that I had forgotten about breakfast this morning. Of course there wasn't going to be anything in the Great Hall now that it was after lunch and a couple hours away from dinner. Warm in my cloak, I left the dormitories and walked to my father's office. I knocked on the door and got no answer. I opened the door and was welcomed into an empty room.
"Father?" I called.
No answer. I sighed, annoyed that this was the second time in the past two days where I hadn't known where he was. Instead of leaving to go find him, I closed the office door and walked into my room. I took my cloak off and laid it on my bed. I took the picture of my mother and Auntie Trix. Today, I was going to take them to the other pictures. My father would be upset, I knew that for sure, but that didn't mean that I wasn't going to. I heard the door to my father's office open and shut. I walked out of my room to welcome my father back, but it wasn't my father that I ran into. This man had a turban on his head, and was looking though my father's desk.
"Professor Quirrell?" I asked.
The man's head snapped up to look at me.
"Ah, R-Raven. N-Nice t-t-to see you ag-gain." He nodded to me.
"Professor, you shouldn't be in here. This is Professor Snape's office, not your own. This is his privacy that you shouldn't be rummaging through." I told him.
Wow, this reminded me of someone I knew quite well disturbing the privacy of mine.
"N-neither sh-should you b-b-be in here." He stuttered.
I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms.
"Professor, I basically live in here." I said to him, as if he should have known this from common sense.
He did know who I was. Right?
"Th-that's r-right. You're S-s-snape's k-kid. Ap-p-pologies m-miss S-snape. I'm j-j-just l-looking f-for s-something." He stuttered, going back to searching.
"I can help you, professor. I know this office like the back of my hand. What are you looking for?" I asked him.
Quirrell picked up a book. A leather book that I knew was too private for anyone to know. I didn't even know what was in it and I had read all of the books in this office. I quickly acted when he picked the book up.
"Sir, you cannot have that. That is my father's. I've read all of the books in here, except for that book. If I can't read it, no one can. Please put it back." I told him.
"You c-can't t-t-tell me what I c-can or c-can n-not d-d-do, miss S-snape." He snapped at me.
"Professor, you don't scare me. My father is much worse than you are. And being his child, I should be able to tell you that whatever is in that book, my father does not want anyone to know it." I told him.
"Th-that will b-b-be all. I will s-s-see you around." He stuttered, walking toward the door.
I ran toward the only exit and stood in front of him, blocking him from leaving.
"I'm not letting you leave until I hear my father's unpleasant, slow, cold voice tell you can leave with that book. Until then, I suggest you take a seat, Professor. You can take my chair." I said, nodding to the wooden chair at my father's desk, where I usually sat.
"Th-that is q-q-quite un-n-necessary. St-tep aside." He stuttered.
Many kids would feel bad for his stutter and just do as he said,as he was always scared out of his wits and made me wonder why he taught Defence Against the Dark Arts if he was afraid of nearly everything. He was probably afraid of me for all I knew.
"Professor, let me teach you something big," I sighed, "Just because you're a professor, doesn't mean you can get away with whatever you please. Eventually you'll get caught and be punished, just like, us, students if we break rules. I'm telling you, if my father is not telling me that you're allowed to take this book, then I'm not letting you. If he told me that you'd be coming around for the book, then sure, I'd let you take it. But that isn't the case, is it, Professor?" I asked him.
Professor Quirrell smirked at me.
"Y-you want p-p-points for S-s-slytherin for b-being v-v-very loyal and st-t-tanding up for what's r-right, d-don't you child?" He asked.
I scoffed, "Wouldn't that be nice, Professor? But that's not it at all. I'm keeping my father's privacy private. Like anything private should be."
Tell that to Father, why don't you, Raven?
"D-dear ch-child, if it w-was you-kn-now-w-who's, would you l-let me?" He asked me.
I laughed, my jaw hanging open, my arms dropping to the side.
"Professor! Just because it would be you-know-who's does not make it okay to invade! A person is a person and is allowed their privacy! Mud- muggle-born, sorry, half-blood, or pure! Privacy is privacy!" I was in shock with how little common sense this Professor had.
In a second, I heard the door behind me open and the door swung into my back. I quickly got out of the way, a pain in my side, where the knob of the door hit me, and in my head, where a corner of the door hit.
"Watch it, child." My father.
"Apologies, father. I was just-"
"Quirrell, what a nice surprise." My father said though gritting teeth.
"Ah, g-g-good aft-ternoon, P-p-professor." Quirrell stuttered to my father.
I quickly walked over and grabbed the leather book from his hands. I walked it over to my father and handed it to him. My father took it, still glaring at Quirrell. He took a quick glance at the book. His eyes getting colder by the second.
"This," He said, lifting the book, "Should never be taken from my desk by anyone. It contains things that are better for no one to find out. No one but me, is allowed to touch this book, let alone take it out of the boundaries of this room. Do you understand, Professor?" My fathers seethed at Quirrell dropping the book at his side.
Quirrell's eyes followed the book, until they were forced back up to my father's cold ones.
"Y-yes, of c-course. My ap-p-pologies." he nodded and made his way toward the door.
Just as the professor was leaving, my father stopped him.
"It will be known if you ever step foot into this room again, understand?" He snapped.
Quirrell nodded so much that I was afraid that his turban would fly off. When the professor was gone. I sighed and watched as my father locked it in a new drawer, placing every locking spell he knew on the drawer. I decided to break the silence.
"Father, may I ask what is in that book?" I asked him.
"No." He said coldly, sitting in his chair.
I sighed. My thoughts were suddenly drawn back to my dream I had last night. I knew now wasn't the best time to ask about it. But then again, I guess there wasn't any good time to ask about this type of thing.
"Father, may I ask you something?"
He looked up at me, his eyes on me telling me that he was listening.
"Last night, I had dream. I think. It was a set of dreams. There was a voice telling me that they were my memories. Some that I had forgotten. Almost all of them contained my mother. I knew these were memories. I knew they were! When I woke up I just knew they were memories I had forgotten, and now remembered. But there was one that I couldn't claim as my own. The voice told me, 'now let me show you a memory of your father's, since he can access all of yours'. Then there was a scenario where it was like I was a ghost looking at a conversation between you, Lucius and Narcissa." I explained to him.
My father placed his elbows on the table looking more interested.
"What was this scenario?" He asked me.
I took a breath before telling him.
"It was about how the Dark Lord will be wanting me to marry Draco when we come of age and become his youngest followers. You stuck up for me and told Lucius and Narcissa that I won' be doing anything I don't want to do and I will be marrying whomever I want to marry, muggle or wizard. But they told you that you knew the Dark Lord doesn't give choices, and that it's only a matter of time before we grow up and realize what needs to be done." I explained to my father.
If I thought my father was pale before, I was mistaken, as now he was as white as a ghost.
"Father, you're pale. Do you need any water, food?" I asked him.
"What else? Was there anything else?" He asked me, ignoring my question.
"I want you to get some color back to your face first." I told him.
"No, tell me what happened, Raven." He snapped at me.
I sighed and nodded.
"You asked them what if I fall in love with another Death Eater's son. And Lucius answered that that was a question to ask the Dark Lord himself." I said to him.
"Remarkable. That whole scenario was correct." He said to me.
"It's true? It happened? It was your memory?" I asked him.
"Of course it was mine. The Dark Lord is telling you things. He is talking to you. He is showing you your past and my memories as revenge for me looking into yours." He told me.
"Father, my biggest question is, did you ask the Dark Lord?" I asked.
He didn't look at me anymore.
"The Dark Lord had fallen four years before. You were four and Draco was five. I hated to think that we were talking about you and him getting married before either of you knew what was going on. I still have yet to find out what would happen if you were to fall in love with another Death Eater's son." My father said to me.
"What if I fall in love with someone else, but I'm forced to marry Draco? I love him, but he's my best friend, I don't love him any other way. He's like a brother to me. I can't see myself getting married to him." I told my faher,
"Let's drop this now. You're only ten we might bring this up again when you're older." He said to me.
I sighed and nodded.
"Now, it's dinner. You go get something to eat." He instructed me.
I didn't hesitate to obey him. I quickly made my way to the Great Hall that had the tables covered in food, seeming like it had forgotten that there weren't nearly a quarter of students here, as almost everyone has gone home for the holidays. I sat at the almost empty Slytherin table. The only people there were Flint, Higgs, and a girl in my year, Tracey Davis. I sat far away from all three of them. I looked over to the Gryffindor table and was surprised to see, or in this case- not see, Potter and Weasley. I ate as much as I could and I made my way back to the office. I knocked and waited for my father's answer. This time, my father was there to answer. I walked in and approached my father's desk.
"Potter's up to something." I told him.
My father glared up at me.
"What is it?" He asked me.
I shook my head at him.
"I don't know, but Weasley is always hungry and wouldn't turn down a Christmas dinner. Neither of them were there." I said to him.
If only I could look into their heads and see what Potter was up to. Like my father knew how to do.
"Father?" I said to him.
"What would you like?" He asked, not looking up from his work.
"Could you teach me Legilimency?" I asked him.
He looked back up at me.
"Why would I do such a thing?" He asked me.
"I want to know what Potter's up to. I know it's a privilege and I need to be responsible with it. Please, father?" I asked.
He thought for a minute before sighing and standing up.
"You mustn't abuse this privilege. This is a very powerful responsibility and it should only be used when absolutely needed." My father said, walking around the deck and up to me.
"The incantation is Legimens. All you need to do with your wand is point it at the person. The more practice you get, the less you'll need your wand. At first, until you know how to find what you're looking for, you will just see the person's most looked back memory. The more you practice, the more skilled you will get and you will be able to find what you are looking for." My father said.
I nodded and took the wand I had in my pocket that I grabbed this morning, preparing to go find Potter.
"You are going to point the wand at me as you say the incantation." He told me.
"You? I don't want to test it on my own father! Why can't I practice on Potter and when I get it, I get it?" I asked him.
"No, you're going to try it on me. Now don't get upset if you don't get it on the first try. You can always try again." He told me.
"I don't want to see your memories. I don't want you to accidentally remember your worst memory!" I exclaimed to him.
"Do it!" He ordered.
I composed myself and nodded. I stepped back a little. My wand was held firmly in my right hand. I took a deep breath.
"Legilimens!" I said clearly, pointing my wand at my father.
It was like apprating to another place, but I was still on school grounds. I could see a group of people walking up to a boy with long, black hair and dark brown eyes. I knew for a fact that this was my father as a child. He was at Hogwarts. I looked over the approaching group.
"All right, Snivellus?" The leading boy called to my father.
This boy's hair was far from tidy. His blue eyes peering through a pair of glasses.
Almost as soon as the boy called into the field, my father whipped himself around, pulling his wand from his robes."Expelliarmus!" The boy said, pointing his wand at my father.
My father's wand flew from his hands. He dove for the wand as the boy called, "Impedimenta!", knocking my father from his feet.
"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" The boy asked, wand still pointed at my father
"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment. There'll be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word." A boy with curly hair , laughed.
My father was struggling to get to his feet. It was like he was bound to the ground with invisible ropes.
"You - wait," My father panted, giving the coldest stare my father had ever given anyone, and with good reason too, "You - wait!"
"Wait for what?" The curly haired boy asked tauntingly, "What are you going to do, Snivelly? Wipe your nose on us?"
My father yelled at them, curse after curse, pure rage with every hex. But without his wand, they were empty words.
"Wash out your mouth," The boy with glasses said, jokingly disgusted, "Scourgify!"
My father's mouth suddenly began to bubble. Soap escaping his mouth, making him gag.
"Leave him alone!" A girl yelled.
Both of the harassing boys turned to face who yelled at them. The boy with glasses ran his fingers though his hair. The girl had dark red hair and green eyes. She was beautiful.
"All right, Evans?" The boy asked, his voice changing to sound deeper.
"Leave him alone." The girl, Evans, repeated, glaring at the boy, "What has he done to you?"
The boy scoffed, "Well, it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean." He said.
Everyone, that I now noticed to be watching, erupted into laughter. Everyone, but the girl and my father.
"You think you're funny," Evans said, coldly, "but you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone!"
Potter? Harry Potter's father? Of course it was! How couldn't I have guessed it before? My father hated that man. He tormented my father almost all through school!
"I will if you go out with me," Potter almost spat out in a second, "Go on. Go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on Snivelly again."
This was Lily! The girl my father was first in love with! Potter's mother.
The jinx placed on my father began to wear off. He began to crawl toward his was, spitting out soap. I seemed that Lily saw this too.
"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and giant squid." She spat at Potter.
"Bad luck, Prongs." The curly haired boy said to Potter, "Oi!" He yelled as he looked at my father.
But it was too late as my father grabbed his wand and pointed it straight at Potter. There was a flash and a gash appeared on Potter's face. Blood appeared all over his robes. It didn't take a second for Potter to react, as he whipped his wand toward my father, suspending him in the air, upside down. His robes fell over his head, to reveal his greying undergarments. I couldn't bare to look at him like this. Instead, I felt the urge to take out my own wand and make him feel the same pain. But I couldn't. Here, I was nothing. I wasn't even a picture in their imaginations yet.
"Let him down!" Lily yelled at Potter.
"Certainly." Potter said.
My father dropped from the air, falling into a heap on the ground. He detangled himself from the floor and got up from the ground, pointing his wand at Potter.
"Petrificus Totalus!" The curly haired boy yelled, his own wand at my father.
He went stiff as a board, falling to the ground.
"Leave him alone!" Lily yelled at him, pulling out her own wand.
Potter and the other boy smirked at each other.
"Careful, Evans, don't make me hex you." James warned her, amused.
"Take the curse off him, then." She ordered.
Rolling his eyes and sighing, Potter turned to my father and muttered the counter-curse.
"There you go. You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus-"
"I don't need help from filthy little mudbloods like her!" My father snapped.
Hurt clouded over Lily's eyes.
"Fine, I won't bother you in the future. And I'd wash your pants, if I were you, Snivellus." She said to him coldly.
"Stop!" I exclaimed, pulling my wand away from my father.
I could feel the tears streaking down my face. I couldn't bear the pain.
"Do it again. You need more practice." He told me.
I frantically shook my head.
"Please don't make me do it again! I can't bear it. That's awful, what he did to you. I don't want to see it again." I pleaded him.
"You need to. I can handle it. Again!" He urged me.
"No! As much as you can handle it, I can't!" I cried.
"What about Potter? Don't you want to figure what is going on in his head?" My father asked me.
"I'll practice on Draco. You look into Potter's mind! You have no troubles doing it for me!" I exclaimed.
My father walked over to his desk and sat.
"To bed, with you, now. You're getting to worked up." He told me.
I shook my head and marched into my room, closing the door behind me. I changed into my black night gown and crawled into my large bed. I couldn't really sleep. I feared what I was going to dream. I would be extremely happy to not dream anything at all, but that never happened. I always had a dream. They were rarely good dreams.
"Raven Snape. My loyal follower. I would like to arrange an initiation as soon as I am within a body of my own. I would be honoured to have you as an official Death Eater as soon as I am in power again." A hoarse voice rang though my head.
I knew this voice. The Dark Lord was alive. But when he said 'as soon as I am within a body of my own,' did this mean he was living within someone else's body? Was he smart enough to do that? Of course he was! He's the Dark Lord! He'd do anything.
"Will you join me?" His voice whispered.
Of course I would. He was the Dark Lord after all
A/n
word count: 5563
Don't get mad! If you read the OoTP , you might recognise Snape's worst memory, but that's because I knew that there was MUCH more detail in the book than the movie and I am COMPLETE rubbish at rewording. I hope that doesn't get me too much trouble? Please don't hate me! I fear that whatever happens between the end of this book and a couple movies in the future, there won't be much more than a couple tantrums soooo...
Question, How do you feel about time jumps as long as years?
Sorry!
Luvz, Spade