another random-ass chapter for y'all because i've been sooo fucking inactive with this book and f u c k let's go
_ • _ • _
hinata: huh? yamaguchi and tsukishima are pretty off today.
kageyama: what do you mean?
hinata: nothing, just... well, it's like they don't wanna talk to each other.
kageyama: really? hm, you're pretty sharp for a dumba--
hinata: CALL ME THAT AGAIN ONE MORE TIME, ONE MORE TIME, MISTER TOBIO, AND I WILL DRAG YOU ACROSS THE GYM FLOOR UNTIL YOUR PRETTY FACE GETS FRICTION BURN.
kageyama: ...
hinata: ...
the floor: ... yespls
tanaka: *crashes into the gym with a loud bang* guysguysguysguysguysss
noya: *rolls into the building 2.5 seconds later* SHITSTICKS AND JESUS HAIRY CHRIST ON A FUCKING MOTOR SCOOTER
asahi: *walks into gym* i-i don't have a scooter, actually...
kageyama: hello senpais
hinata: w h o a what the hell happened to y'all?
suga: hinata, no slang please
daichi: slang is for bed business
ennoshita: ok no one cares about your kinks for now. what's up?
tanaka: TSUKKI LOOKED AT YAMAGUCHI LIKE HE'S SOME CREEP AND AVOIDED HIM DURING LUNCHTIME
noya: WHAT'S MORE SURPRISING IS THAT HE FOOKIN' SAT WITH US AAAAAAA
asahi: *shaking* bless us all, we're doomed! the blight is spreading!
noya: uhhh asahi-san, calm your mantits down for a li'l while--
kinoshita: lol i read mantis
narita: could you stop breaking the 4th wall
kinoshita: there are only three walls, my good friend. sina, rose, and maria
narita: *facepalms* hoooeee my god here we go
tanaka: *blasts sasageyo thru the speakers he magically pulled out from fuck-knows-where*
noya: SHIIINSOU WO SASAAAGEYO *jumps so high he crashes into a spacecraft* *jk, he crashes into asahi*
asahi: AAAAAAAAAAA COPROPHAGIA
daichi: chill
suga: *drags asahi into the infirmary, daichi trailing them close behind like a practiced assassin, his oculars flicking and his telescopics spinning, his adrenaline rushing through his body like a bucket of lava poured over his head. he felt his senses kick themselves high into overdrive, and he snuck through the shadows, unseen, like a chameleon as he blended with the colors that shifted through the windows. his lips spread into a smile, then, a wide white grin as he witnessed the angel dump jesus onto a fucking hospital bed and leave him to be tended to by the apothecary. the angel left the hospice cautiously, his footsteps receding down the hallway like an uncle dancing to the beat in hawaii, the night young and beautiful. they returned to the gym, and daichi's super super stealth technique helped him get away with his stalking without heightening suspicion among his comrades.*
narita: ok so...
suga: while asahi gets his injuries treated in the hospice, we plan our next move so we can finally kick the damned bad guy's ass for once and for all. *brings out a map that looks like it came straight out of a medieval setup*
noya: i-i'm sorry for reopening lt. colonel asahi's old wounds.
daichi: *pats noya on the back* it's all fine, mate. it's the damned guy's fault for not having been more careful during our stealth mission at the old ©varchinde plains.
tanaka: 'tis correct, rookie. thou shalt press further with thy task and grieve after battle.
ennoshita: *speaks in runic formula*
kinoshita: kags let's play minecraft
kageyama: mario k--
kinoshita: MINECRAFT
kageyama: ok sunshine, let's get your ass over to the playstation so you can shut the fuck up
narita: please help me, someone out there, please help me.
shirota mahiru: I WILL BE THAT SOMEONE--
kuroo: *drags mahiru* whoops, wrong anime buddy.
mahiru: WRONG BLACK GUY *jumps into a rift through time and space and completely disappears*
kuroo: ... the fuck do i feel so insulted?
kenma: racist.
narita: ... i... guess i'll refrain from speak--
tora something i forgot his last name but he appears in the light novel of rakudai and not the anime: then i shall fight and become the best student knight so i can show you that i don't hate you, and so i can tell you that it's not your fault.
(this reference requires a pretty good insight into the story already oops? spoilers???)
narita: *tries to scribble 'onii-chan' into his board thingy he got from nowhere but tears up, bursts out crying and runs gay to hug tora. he mouths the word again, and again, until he finds his voice and attempts to use it. although it was rough and off from disuse, hisher sentiments managed to reach out to her brother, and the number one student knight smiled gently as he stroked her head with a brother's loving touch.*
(they disappear into another dimension, and god fucking knows what happened back there. sorry for the spoiler. totally unintentional *wink*)
hinata: ok so firstly, they start talking old. next, kageyama calls kinoshita 'sunshine', not like i'm particularly jealous of him giving anyone nicknames apart from me, then narita-san disappears with a really cool onii-san. what???
kiyoko: gomen ne, hinata-kun. ano ibento wa kanashikute, kedo, anata wa hitori janai. kore wa watashi no... saigo na 'sayonara'. dakara, kimi no me wa oishi sou.
hinata: ... ok, i understand japanese and...
yachi: *from a distance, rasping, as if she's fighting for breath* ni-nigete... hina... *cough* t-t-taaaaAAaAhhhAHAHhhhh-- *coughs and chokes*
hinata: ... i totally get that she just complemented my eyes with something you would normally use to praise pork buns.
kiyoko: *transforms into medusa*
hinata: shit.
???: OMAE WA MOUUU...
???: *crashes through the wall and turns out to be aone*
aone: SHINNNDEEEIRUUU!!!
kiyoko: *gasp* NA-NANNY?!?!
hinata: FUCKING KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
- hinata sinks into a deep state of unconsciousness, his senses numbing as the cold hit his every nerve. his body that had not been augmented for battle or for survival, thrashed about in the waterfall as the mother of all living beings called out to him.
"wake up, ©rhan. it is still too early to perish. you have a blight to stop. a world to heal. a population to whom you should show proof of your four hundred returns of loyalty and innocence."
and that was when it hit him.
the fucking tennis racket that pulled him out of his fucking fantasies and brought him back unto the realities that surrounded his truest existence. -
tsukishima: hey, dicko. any idea that you just made ecko burning references in your sleep?
(gomen u fuckers. i'm just not over the ecko sequels yet. because fucking heck, both books were so good and the ending was--)
hinata: yeah. i was rhan in my dreams.
tsukishima: oya? well, i'm kas vahl zaxaar.
yamaguchi: T S U K K I !
tsukishima: oh shit yuno's here gtg eat dinner
hinata: ... how the fuck is that related? anyways, goodbye, my estavah! *blows on tsukishima and he vanishes into thin air*
(i literally just spoiled the shit out of this book for you if you're ever gonna read it. i guess not anymore :D)
yamaguchi: SENPAAAAAAAI
ah ah ah ah
ah ah ah ah
ah ah ah ah
kamisama
onegai da
boku no
ano hito ni
aitai no sa
ah ah ah
ah ah ah ah
ah ah ah ah
ah ah ah ah
kamisama
tsurainnda
kyou mou
matta no ni
hinata: ok bgm u can stop now it's not even on point.
tendou: yes, yes. but before that, here fujoshits. get some fanservice before we continue with this maaadness.
- a shitty stereotypical cherry blossom setting appears.
inside of a school.
ushijima-chan walks through the hallways.
he is interrupted by a voice.
"nee, soko no ojou-chan da."
heshe turned to face the voice, and she felt her eyes widen at the sight of a black cow infront of her.
"nee. kikoeru ka, oujo-chan?"
she swallowed. she was getting nervous.
"hora, shaberu. kimi no subarashii na koe... kimi no kawaii sutairu da..."
the black cow did the kabedon ooohhh.
"zenbu... misete."
ushijima-chan felt his face heat up.
he was captivated, truly, by the beauty of the black cow. -
tendou: S H I T WRONG FANFIC--
- izuku moaned, his sweat trickling down his pale, freckled skin in rivulets. the room was steamy and it smelled of lust and desire and taboo. he put his hands on her waist, panting. "mitsuki-san--" -
tendou: FUCKING SHIT WHO PUT ALL MY FORBIDDEN FANFICS IN THIS BAG?!
goshiki, from a distance: idk what they were, but i shoved some red notebooks into your gym bag last night!
tendou: oh my GOD goshiki! wait... ooooh i found the diary!
- yamaguchi giggled as tsukishima hugged him from behind and buried his nose into the crook of his neck. the tv was on infront of them, the movie and the icecream long forgotten as they started to cuddle and kiss each other on the carpeted floor. they stopped, the room filling with the noise of nothing else other than the low hum of the television and the sound of the rain outside. their eyes met, and tadashi swallowed, smiled.
"do you want to take this somewhere else?"
* * *
twenty minutes later, the two of them were fucking in the bedroom and shit like that, i don't know how to write those stuff without cringing hard at my writing skills that suck balls. pun intended. yamaguchi did some swallowing (you know what i mean, you nasty fangirls) and did couple stuff.
"you taste good, tsukki. because salt makes everything better." -
tendou: true story, thus the reason why tsukishima is ignoring his best friend forever.
hinata: ...
tendou: ... totally ruined the mood, exactly.
hinata: ... thanks for the information, luv. gotta get back to my squad.
tendou: thank goshiki. he accidentally put the diary in my bag after all.
goshiki: i aced it didn't i
hinata: you spiked that pun as well
tendou: oh my god no
goshiki: i'll just go drink ketchup, then.
tendou: make me some pies
goshiki: ask mama shirabu
tendou: what's the purpose of this conversation?
shirabu: filler.
hinata: ok i'll go find the best friends for now and tell them to make up or something. it's causing a little bit of a stir in the team, which, in thy case, is making them ought to act like troops against thy friars. now thou shalt take thine own feet and stop talking in old english because the writer is shit at that.
all might: horry shitto another fourth wall
hinata: whoa what muscles. do you play volleyball, sir? you're so tall! are you russian too, like lev?
all might: midoriya sho-- wait. you're not midoriya shonen omg
hinata: ... who dat?
all might: ummmmmm pretty much my kid whohasthesamevoiceactorasyou i'll leave now bye orange-kun
lelouch: omg the nickname is widespread
kiyoko: out *kicks lelouch and he catapults into space*
all might: p e a c e t o a l l ! *kicks the ground and flies away as it cracks*
hinata: ... he can jump so high! *pumps fists* one day... i'll be like him, too!
the little giant™: but what about me
hinata: oh, um, after i become like you!
blood dupre: dream on kid.
hinata: why is your name even--
kageyama: ...
hinata: ...
hinata: wait now that i think about it, blood is a better name than furaiying fishu.
kageyama: right?
hinata: what happened to your and kinoshita's minecraft gaming?
kageyama: he built the whole walls of 50 meters and summoned witches
kageyama: *spawned
hinata: don't tell me he built a whole villa--
kageyama: he did. complete with artilleries and screaming people
hinata: kags, the villagers in minecraft grunt, not scream.
kageyama: ... but in the game--
kageyama: ...
kageyama: shit.
hinata: ... how large was the screen?
kageyama: there were many screens, actually. there was one monitoring the first wall, several parts of it, the second, then the third. there were screens for the elite offices as well, and important places such as banks and trade routes.
hinata: ... it wasn't in pixels, was it?
kageyama: no
hinata: that's not minecraft you oaf
kageyama: W H A T
hinata: kinoshita is doing something shady! and you helped him!
kageyama: no, not that. what did you call me?
hinata: oaf
kageyama: dude i literally dunno what that means.
hinata: same here. i got it from my mom and sister's argument, but that's not important. we gotta go stop kinoshita's evil deeds. this is an inhumane act.
ennoshita: HINATA! KAGEYAMA!
hinata: ENNO!
ennoshita: *bloody, battered, bruised* h... elp... the troops... *falls and coughs in guren no yumiya*
hinata: ... oh my god.
kageyama: ... so it wasn't minecraft?
- and so, hinata and kageyama geared up, mentally, physically, deciding to face head-on, whatever will happen to them and to the future of humanity.-
kageyama: how 'bout enno--
hinata: warriors fight before they mourn.
kageyama: ... *nods* let's go.
hinata: yeah. i'll kill every last one of them.
kageyama: titans?
hinata: yeah.
hinata: *eyes ennoshita* i'll avenge my mom.
suga: I THOUGHT I WAS YOUR MOM?!?!
yamaguchi: WHAT ABOUT TSUKKI'S AND MY ISSUE?!?!?!?!
ssssssshing seid ihr däs essen? nein, wir sïnd die jäger!
tararatatatarata
tararatatataratah ah ah ah
ah ah ah ah
ah ah ah ah
ah ah ah ah
kamisama
onegai da
boku wa
daichi: honestly, the references are overused.
i'm doing this so that most people will get them k
daichi: you haven't even done a single tg
oh shit
- to be continued -
((jk but rlly, should i continue this?))
((Renaissance_Girl27, here, i hope i inspired you to go on with life with this chapter))