In the morning I woke up to the familiar smell of Christmas. Or more specifically, cinnamon and pine. It confused me for a few moments, but as soon as my vision focused I realised why; Aaron's bright red hair was practically in my face.
He was sitting on the floor infront of the sofa, with his head resting against the side. He'd obviously been there all night, and had fallen asleep like that.
I smiled before sitting up slightly. This seemed to wake him and he lifted his head, before cringing.
"Oww..." He complained as he stretched his arm before turning his head towards me. He jumped back slightly at the closeness of our faces and I smirked.
"Why are you sitting on the floor?" I questioned and he chuckled awkwardly.
"You were shaking and fidgeting, sitting near you seemed to help..." He explained and I frowned.
"I see..."
"Are you feeling okay? Want something to eat?" He suddenly said with a start and I blinked at him tiredly as he stood up.
"No thanks..."
"You're eating. You haven't ate since we left London!"
"Really? Well I don't feel like eating."
"Tough. I'll shove it down your throat if I have to." He threatened, hopefully not seriously, and I chuckled.
"Okay okay, I'll eat, just give me a few minutes." I said and he sighed.
"Good. I need to go shower and get dressed, you'll be alright?"
"Yes, fine."
He smiled slightly before leaving the room.
"Eat something!" He shouted and I rolled my eyes with a smile.
I shook my head to try wake myself up before sighing as I sat on the sofa alone.
It seemed to be quite early in the morning, but I knew I wouldn't get back to sleep anyway.
I was considering going to go get my phone, but I didn't want to wake Nate up.
The sun seemed to be higher in the sky than I'd expected, and it was a wonder no one had woken up before us. Everyone is tired out I guess...
I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, I felt so groggy and fed up.
I really need my phone...hate having time to just think...
I found myself just staring at the wall for a few minutes.
Umm...
I clicked my tongue in discomfort before hearing a door open.
There was quiet footsteps on the floor before Alex's head poked round the corner.
I stayed silent and we just blinked at each other for a few moments.
"Yes?" I questioned eventually and he smiled awkwardly.
"Hey...umm...you feeling better?" He asked, taking a few steps into the room.
"Um, I guess. Mainly because it's daytime... Hungover?"
"Uh, yeah..." He looked super uncomfortable and I smirked.
"Good." I said with a smile and he pouted.
"I guess I deserve it." He said, and I thought the conversation ended there. But instead of leaving he sat down next to me on the sofa.
I looked at him blankly.
"Uh, so... sorry, about yesterday. Like, really." He said and I sighed.
"I don't hold grudges for long." I said and he gave me a look.
"I mean, you were angry with me for that other thing for ages."
"Yeah well that was different."
"How?"
"Because that was me listening to my own doubts about you. I figured if you're going to act like that I mind as well stay away from you for my own good." I said and he frowned.
"I'm sorry..."
"Whatever. You'll have to earn my trust again, but you have my forgiveness. I understand why you felt that way... doesn't mean I agree with it though..."
"Right...how do I do that?"
"No idea." I smiled and he frowned deeper.
"Well, I'll try my best..." He said and I gave him a sceptical raised eyebrow look.
The sound of a door slamming open and Nate climbing down the ladder stopped any further conversation. He walked in while stretching then looked down at us.
"Made up already huh?" He yawned. "Whatever. Are we gonna go anywhere today?" He wondered.
"I don't really feel like going anywhere..." Alex huffed while cringing.
"Good because you're not." Aaron's voice suddenly sounded and I looked to see him with damp hair and just a towel around his waist. Wow he clearly doesn't waste time in the shower. "And neither are you Riley." He added sternly and I gulped with a blush.
"Wasn't planning on anyway." I said while staring at the floor.
"Damn that sucks, because we were planning on going out on a boat." Hunter said as he joined us in the room and I groaned.
"Sounds awful..." I sighed tiredly.
"I'm sure the three of you will have fun." Aaron smiled at them and Nate made a face.
"Me, Hunter and Caleb? Sounds like a party." He complained and Hunter pulled his tongue out at him.
"You get Caleb up, I need to get changed." Aaron said before walking back up the stairs.
"Have fun." I said without looking up and Alex sighed.
"We will!" Hunter snapped and Nate pushed him.
"Come on! I need breakfast at least."
Nate and Hunter made their way out towards Caleb's room talking amongst themselves.
I sighed and stared ahead of myself gloomily.
"Hey, you alright?" Alex asked and I looked at him briefly.
"Yeah, great..."
"That's a lie."
"Would I lie to you?" I said sarcastically and he sighed.
"I'm...um, I'm really sorry..." He swallowed awkwardly. "... About what happened to you, you know..." He mumbled and I bit my lip.
"Right..."
"We're you hurt? I mean, I heard you were, so..."
"Yes...I was injured a bit." Wow make it stop please. "How did you hear about something like that?"
"Oh...I was listening to your father and thingie arguing..."
"Right, of course."
"It sucks that people could do things like that..." He said while picking at the sofa material.
"Yep..." I popped the 'p' awkwardly. Help.
"I mean, I'd take it as a compliment." He mumbled and I gave him a raised brow look. "Uh I mean, no that's not a compliment, totally not..."
He clicked his tongue awkwardly. "I'm sorry that no one was around to help you...I mean it must be horrible to be overpowered like that...and to be injured from it... I mean I don't know what your opinion on sex is but I personally would really hate that..."
"It wasn't sex, it was rape."
"Right, sorry, I mean..."
I chuckled at the fact he had triggered me into shaking slightly.
"You know most people avoid talking to me about this, so I respect your courage or whatever, but the reason they are afraid is because they don't want to say the things you just said so..." I chuckled when he turned red.
"I'm really sorry."
"It's fine... it's new to me too."
"Really? Because I thought you'd been-"
"It's the first time anyone's ever known about it, so it's different, I can't escape from it as much..."
"I'm sorry, would you rather not talk about it?"
"No, it's the same either way...I can't pretend it didn't happen. Especially when it effects the people around me..."
"I was reading this book... about um, survivors, and how it effects you...and, you seem to hide it a lot... if it effects you the same way..."
"Everyone is effected differently." I said simply, looking away from him.
"You don't need to hide your feelings..."
"I prefer to keep my pride to be honest."
"What because you're male you think you shouldn't express your emotions?"
"Maybe, but it's not about what I think of myself, but of what I worry other people think of me. I hate the idea of being seen as weak, perhaps more than most people..." I explained while staring out the glass.
"Uhuh..." He made a strange sound and I looked up to see him with glistening eyes.
"Do you need a hug?" I asked in amusement and he snorted.
"I'm sorry, I'm so inconsiderate." He said and I laughed as I grabbed him and squeezed him in a hug, ignoring the feeling of discomfort.
He gripped me back and I closed my eyes.
"You're shaking a lot..." He noted, and I took a shaky breath.
"Yep..." I huffed and he sighed.
"You don't like being touched anymore do you..." He muttered quietly and I sobbed.
"No." I gripped him tighter but he pulled away when I began to panic.
"Hey...it's okay. That's perfectly normal." He smiled sympathetically as I wiped my eyes.
"What about this is normal?"
"Right, sorry...I didn't mean..."
"No, I'm sorry, I'm being difficult. Thanks for being understanding." I said and closed my eyes as I tried to calm down.
I don't understand, if that is the case, it's so inconsistent. I've been touched since, and only sometimes has it made me uncomfortable.
"Would you prefer if I moved further away?" He asked, and I could see that he was slightly upset that I was afraid of him.
"No, it's fine, I prefer the company..."
"Well, that's a bit inconvenient." He joked and I chuckled.
"A bit..."
"I didn't mean to make you cry, I feel really bad." He said and I shook my head and then pressed my palms against my eyes trying to stop crying.
"It's fine..." I said, and a red shirt caught my eye when I looked back up.
Aaron was standing in the entrance way with crossed arms, and he seemed upset.
"Hey, how long have you been there?" I wondered, and Alex turned to look at him.
"Long enough, I'm sorry... small house and all." He said and smiled at me. "I'm glad you too aren't arguing anymore, even though he's making you cry."
"I'm sorrrry." Alex complained and I chuckled.
"I've got you this Alex." Aaron said as he handed him a cup. Alex looked down at it with distrust. "It's a hangover cure." He smiled.
"Well, knowing you it doesn't have egg yolk in it so I'll take it." He said before sipping at it. He whimpered and nearly spat it out making Aaron chuckle.
"Drink it, you'll feel better." He encouraged, and I observed the warm and loving smile he had as he looked down at him. Cute...
"Okay?" He asked Alex when he gave the cup the side eye.
"Uh, yeah... okay..." He took another sip and I chuckled at him.
"I need to make a few calls, are you two fine on your own? The other three are having breakfast at the moment, but they're heading out soon." Aaron said as he walked over to the table and picked up his phone that he'd left.
I smiled at him reassuringly when he glanced at me.
"Yeah, if we don't die of boredom." Alex commented.
"Well it's your own fault. Perhaps you should discuss what you both did wrong last night, okay?" Aaron suggested sternly and Alex fake gasped.
"Aaron finally admits that his precious Riley isn't perfect, did we get that on tape?" Alex teased and Aaron rolled his eyes with a red face while I smiled with a slight blush.
"Stop doing that! I hate it when you do that." He complained.
"Well, no one likes being exposed, Aaron."
"More like harassed and teased unnecessarily. Don't make me double ground you!" He threatened and Alex snorted.
"That's abuse of power! Riley won't find corruption very attractive and you wouldn't want that."
"Stop it!" Aaron called from outside of the room.
"You've never denied anything though have you!" He shouted louder after him, but recieved no response.
I raised a brow at him when he turned back to me.
"What? I take every opportunity to tease someone I can get. And with Aaron...there is oh so many." He chuckled to himself and I shook my head at him. "And also I am dying inside and project my pain onto others." He added.
"Well, that's your own fault. Maybe next time don't drink so much."
"I didn't think I'd get a hangover this bad." He huffed.
"Hmm, I never get hungover."
"What? And how many times have you got drunk?"
"Oh, a lot." I chuckled. "I'm such an embarrassing drunk...and I always remember it the next day..." I almost cringed into a ball as I remembered past drunken adventures.
"I only remember because I didn't even go to sleep..."
"Trouble sleeping?"
"Not as much as you." He retorted, and then frowned. "I made it worse by arguing with you, it was selfish of me, I'm sorry."
"I prefer it when people share their feelings with me, that way it seems more equal."
"That's why you like Aaron isn't it, because he's such a candid emotional bitch and everything." He said and I snorted.
He smiled at me, and then stared down at the floor. "I walked around again last night, saw you and Aaron...he was leaning on you... but you were sleeping fine." He mumbled, looking away from me with a frown.
I don't really know if that happened so I can't really comment on it... but it is true that most of my symptom inconsistencies come from my behaviour with Aaron...
"I guess it could be Aaron's nature, he used to help me with my attacks as well." He lifted his head and smiled like he was reminiscing. "He was the parent for all of us..." He snickered. "Which is why his little crush on you is so...weird." He cringed and shook his head.
"I'm still traumatized from when everyone found that out." I chuckled.
"Well it was inevitable with Aaron he's so obvious...but I recall you two didn't get along much back then." He frowned. "What happened to make you so close now?"
"I...have no idea. Life, I guess." I sighed and Alex bit his lip.
"If I hadn't have shut you out, things would've been so much different... I could have helped you...and you wouldn't have..." He frowned guiltily.
"And you could've gotten hurt, no one knows what would have happened if things were different, but there's no point dwelling on the countless different possibilities. They didn't happen, this one did."
"Still my fault...and I still wish it didn't happen." He sighed and then smirked. "Maybe if I had stayed close to you I wouldn't find myself jealous of my metaphorical father figure." He commented and I narrowed my eyes at him.
"Jealous, huh?"
"Yes, in both directions. He's always with you..and you're always with him...I've lost a...friend and a doting brother." He huffed. "I guess I was a bit spoiled." I chuckled at him as he complained.
"I'm sorry..."
"Don't be, it's completely my fault, and you deserve and need the attention..." He said and gave me a crooked smile.
"Bye bitches!!" A shout made me jump and I looked out into the hallway just as a door slammed.
"Um, okay..."
"I hope the boat capsizes." Alex snapped and I smiled at him.
"Are you planning on leaving the sofa today?" Alex suddenly asked and I pulled my tongue out.
"Nope."
"Well you might want to get out of yesterday's clothes and have a shower..."
"Yep plus I really need a pee."
"Great."
"I'll move eventually."
"Okay." He yawned. "I think I might go to bed now..." He said as he stared down at his empty cup.
"You've completely fucked up your sleeping patterns you know..."
"Yep, well we're going back home soon anyways so."
"Well go ahead then." I said and he complained as he slowly stood up. "It was nice having a non-hyperactive conversation with you." I teased and he gave me a thumbs up before walking back into his room.
I sighed before standing as well, and my legs ached from the sudden movement.
I looked around for Aaron, noticing him pacing outside while on the phone. Wonder what he's talking about...
I quickly climbed the ladder before grabbing clean clothes and other gear and heading for the shower.
-
After I had showered and gotten into the laziest jeans and jumper ever, I simply sat back down on the sofa again with my phone. But I didn't go on it, just stared at the wall infront of me with a frown.
I sighed and rubbed my temple as I tried to ignore the feeling of fear in my chest. Go away, damnit.
Of course with how long I took to shower I knew Aaron had to be done with his call now. I can't help taking a long time though, I never manage to feel completely clean...
Speaking of the devil...
"What's wrong?" I asked him as he stood in the doorway again staring off into nothingness.
"Um..." He took a breath in and then sat down next to me.
Uh oh.
"I've been talking with Chance." He said then looked at me and blinked. "Have you been sat here all day?"
"No, I had a shower." I said and he nodded.
"Right anyway, it's about the criminal case we have against Matias." He said and I immediately took a shaky breath.
"Right..."
"Well they're taking it as far as they can for now. But, we're going to have to wait, for any kind of trial."
"I don't think I even want a trial..." I said as I stared down at the table surface.
"Well you'll have time to figure it out then, but they'll need your input if they're going to get anywhere."
"How long?"
"We'll go back home first for a bit, everyone from both sides needs time to build up a case..."
"Right..."
Even with the plain and clear evidence, it's still more complicated...
I sighed and bit my lip, then looked up at Aaron as he gently stroked my cheek with a reassuring smile. I started to think about Alex's earlier teasing, and found myself blushing and looking away.
"Are you feeling alright? I don't want you on your own just to brood." He worried and I smiled.
"Neither do I to be honest." I commented absentmindedly. Wow that's supposed to remain in your head. "But I'm fine, it's nice to.... think sometimes." I looked up at him to see him staring at me in skeptical concern.
"Right... Have you eaten?" He questioned me and my eyes widened.
"Um..."
He looked genuinely upset, and I felt a wave of guilt.
"I just forgot, I didn't lie or anything." I defended in a rush, and then stood up. "I'm going, right now... going."
I quickly escaped into the kitchen and then just stood there cluelessly until I heard him chuckling.
"How about I make you something?" He suggested with a smile and I blushed before nodding.
"Thanks."
---
Wow finally got this out, after various things getting in the way .-. so much drama to come guys, just need to get to it...keep on writing...
Well anyways I have a few things from the discord chat to show you, like drawings of Nate, Chester, Aaron etc, but I think I might wait to show you that.
Instead have a requested ship drawing of Aaron and Riley. Join the Discord chat if you want to request your own ship! ^^
Link on my profile